Weird, I dreamt of my dead mother...haven't had a dream like this in YEARS

[Disney1fan2002]

My mother died when I was 27yo back in 1995. It hit me hard! It took a long, long time to get over her death. So long, that I thought there was something wrong with me. I obsessed about missing her for years. I was angry with my older siblings, because they had a mother longer than I did, and she knew and loved their children. I was not married and did not have any kids when she died.

I would constantly dream about her. The dream would be the same. I would go to my parents house and walk in, and my mother would be at the stove cooking dinner. I would be shocked, because in my dream, I knew she had been dead. I would ask her what she was doing there, and she would say she was just on vacation and she was back now. I would hug her and hold her and not let go. I was so desperate in my dream to keep a hold on her. I knew if I let her go, she would be gone again.

These dreams continued on a regular basis for about 8 years. Then, Father's Day 2003, my brother died. It was then that I finally had some sense of closure for my mom. You see, I realized that if she had not died, she would be living hell on earth having to bury her son. I was actually grateful that she was dead. The dreams about my mother stopped. ( but then I started having them about my brother, LOL)

I have dreamt of my mom off and on over the years since 2003, but nothing like the dreams I had before. The desperation of wanting her back....until yesterday.

Out of the blue, I had one of those dreams where I came home to find my mother was alive again. She wanted to know where my father was, and I couldn't tell her (he died in 2004). I had to tell her I don't remember the last time I saw him. The part of the dream I feel guilty about is not seeing my mom in the dream for a while, and forgetting that she had "come home". I think the excuse I used in the dream was she had been gone for so long, I just didn't think of her being around anymore. I went looking for her and found her dead on the toilet (don't ask ). I was devasted and heart broken all over again.

I hate dreaming about her like this. Why can't I dream that she is here visiting with my kids, and she loves them, they love her? Why is there always a desperation to the dreams? I don't want to let her go and it just makes me miss her all the more when I wake up.

She's been dead for 16 years.....you'd think I would be over losing her by now.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

I don't think that you ever got over losing someone that you love so much, especially a parent or a child.

When ever I have dreams about my dad, I am always so thankful to see him again and to hear his voice again, I don't even care if it's a good or bad dream.

 

[fkj2]

My dad passed in 1992. I had one dream--right before I was to have surgery--where he wrapped an arm around me. I could feel it. I pushed it away in the dream and then felt badly after. I dreamed of him one other time and I swear his spirit was truly present in the dream.

After my mom died, I dreamed of her, more often than I wanted to, as still being ill and debilitated. Over the past two to three years, the frequency decreased, as did the severity of her illness. She seemed less sick to me in the dreams. Then, last spring some time, I dreamed of her in the home I grew up in and she looked well. I hugged her and, unfortunately, it woke me up.

As far as getting over or past someone's passing whom you loved, I don't really ever plan on it. In fact, sometime the thought of her is so intense I have this feeling I can't really describe physically present in my heart. I'm pretty sure that's when she's with me.

 

[DebbieB]

My mom died in 2005 and I still have frequent dreams that she came back. But the weird thing is she is still sick (she had breast cancer). Many times I have the dream I say that we have to get her a doctor appt to check on her. My dad died in 1993, I have a dream about him every once in awhile but usually he's with my mom.

 

[denisem]

First off, I'm totally fascinated by dreams. Have always had an active dream life (full color, cast of thousands production including people I haven't seen in 30 yrs.).

This may be BS, but I've found a thread of truth to it: a therapist once suggested that current stressful emotions in your life may trigger dreams of similar stressful moments in your past. I.E: if one is feeling vulnerable IRL (even unconsiously), one may dream of past instances of feeling equally vulnerable...and this sometimes include lots of past people and circumstances.

Interesting theory, no?

Now if someone could explain my highly entertaining reoccuring dream.

 

[kimmyann]

Funny I should read this today. I just had a dream about my mom (she died in Feb of 2008) but the dream was just like the horrible week of her being in the hospital dying. I have finally stopped having dreams frequently about her so this one really got me. I don't feel the same horrible indescribable sense of loss anymore, but it still hurts and has gotten better with time. I guess in a weird way it happens so we never forget.

Something kinda weird & funny (not really, but) I kept having dreams of my dad after he died in 2002. We were never really close, though he was trying harder before he got cancer, anyways, I kept having dreams with him just kind of there (with my kids, never spoke, just was there), then one dream I said to him, "why are you here? Stop coming". I've never had another dream with him in it again. I miss those now.

 

[lisajl]

I was angry with my older siblings, because they had a mother longer than I did, and she knew and loved their children. I was not married and did not have any kids when she died.

Wow! I don't know how to respond to your dream but I thought I was the only one that felt this way!
My dad died in 1977 when I was 15 years old. I know exactly how you feel!
I rarely dream of them (mom died 4 years ago), I dream more of my Grandma that died when I was 4. For some reason, when I need help getting through something, she is there for me.

 

[dreamin_disney]

I'm glad I'm not alone. I was the youngest. My sibling are older then me so they had kids. My nieces and nephews got to experience having a wonderful grandma. Some of my nieces and nephews were already adults. Anyways right before my mother was told she had cancer I had just started dating(for the 2nd time) my husband. Welll my mom lived about another 1 1/2 so my dd was exactly 3 months old. My mom and I were close so it was hard on me especially because i had lived with her and moved out 7 months after she was diagnosed. I prepared myself but felt like i didnt have time to grief since i was starting a new life, pregnant then having a baby, working etc.At imes I felt cheated but life goes on and I need to be a great mom to my dd like my mother was to me. All i can do is share the precious memories of my mom.

I remember the very 1st dream I had after my mom died(she died 12 years ago next month) We were in her kitchen(she loved cooking) and she was so happy then i asked what was she doing there because she died. All of the sudden the dream zooms into her eyes and i see that she got sad. her eyes turned to sadness. She didnt like hearing that she had died.

Then several dreams later i dream we are in her home and she's happy and once i tell her how will we explain this to everyone she doesnt like hearing it.

so i try not telling her anymore .

a few dreams i had in the last year were she was upset in a few dreams andthere were a few things symbols in the dream that stood out. Well days later things in the family would happen and i was able to figure out why she was mad- really crazy but true!

Then the last dream she was mad at me because of my sister. Well my sister moved her freeloading boyfriend into my moms house that i'm responsible for. So i didnt know that my sister did that until i talked to my nephew a few days after the dream. I've heard our loves ones can hear us so i told my mom please do not come into my dreams anymore and be mad at me because of what my sister is doing, if shes unhappy with whats going on then she needs to go into her home that my sis lives in and scare the heck outta my sis and her boyfriend but not to bother me with it. I also told my mom she is welcomed to visit me in my dreams but no more being upset.

a few weeks ago i heard my sis is getting married to that loser BF and moving out. so now i'm wondering if mom paid her a visit cuz for years we've tried getting my sis outta the house. The one thing that would get her out would be if her BF came into some money or she saw a ghost-lol!


my mother would always joke about renting out her house and moving in with me if i ever got married and she's babysit and cook. She would laugh about it. My dh and i are trying to have another baby but I have issues with infertility for the last 6-7 years. I even told my dh the recurring dreams i have could it be a sign that she will be reborn. I've always felt if i have another baby it would be born in Sept her bday, she did always say she's come live with me-lol!


so those that dream deceased loved ones do you also have other vivid dreams that come true too???

 

[melmar136]

She's been dead for 16 years.....you'd think I would be over losing her by now.

no, I don't think you ever get over it. It just gets a little easier. My mom has been gone for 8 years and I still think of her and miss her every day. I have dreams off and on with her in them, and we'll be doing things, going places, as if she was never gone. I read that when you have a very vivid dream of someone who has died, it can really be them "visiting" you. Maybe. I like to think so.

 

[Mixie]

I understand.

My mom died of cancer in 91, just 3 months after I got married.

For ages, I would dream about her. The dreams were not always the same but had one common theme - in the dream I knew she was dead, and in the dream she never spoke.

Very creepy dreams.

Sometimes I would dream that my mom was in our family house, and so was my dad and his new wife (he remarried several years after her death). I remember feeling awkward that mom was there with his wife there too. Dad always chose to go off with his new wife and I was there with mom. And she was always silent.


Oddly enough, my brothers were never featured in these dreams.

 

[avgeek81]

My mom used to dream of her mother often and the dreams used to upset her. I'm not religous but i would pray for her dreams to stop. They did stop eventually but it took years.

Now she sometimes dreams of my dad or her twin sister. She says that they make cameo appearances in her dreams. These dont upset her.

I sometimes dream about my dad. Usually im like "what are you doing here"

 

[Teacher03]

My dad passed in 1992. I had one dream--right before I was to have surgery--where he wrapped an arm around me. I could feel it. I pushed it away in the dream and then felt badly after. I dreamed of him one other time and I swear his spirit was truly present in the dream.

After my mom died, I dreamed of her, more often than I wanted to, as still being ill and debilitated. Over the past two to three years, the frequency decreased, as did the severity of her illness. She seemed less sick to me in the dreams. Then, last spring some time, I dreamed of her in the home I grew up in and she looked well. I hugged her and, unfortunately, it woke me up.

As far as getting over or past someone's passing whom you loved, I don't really ever plan on it. In fact, sometime the thought of her is so intense I have this feeling I can't really describe physically present in my heart. I'm pretty sure that's when she's with me.

When I dreamt of my mom, she was always sick and was begging me for help (she died of cancer). It was awful. Then finally late last year, I dreamt of her alive and well and how I want to remember her. It has been a little over 4 years, and I also have intense feelings of loss at unexpected times, but I can also remember her without sadness.

 

[Lucky4me]

My Mom died of cancer in 1987. 24 years later I still have dreams about her, but not often.
Last night I had a dream my ex husband and I visited her in my childhood home. She was young and beautiful and cooked us a wonderful meal. My Father was a child in the dream, which is weird.

In the early years after her death, the dream would always be her sitting on the end of my bed, reassuring me that everything would be okay. I had that one all the time. I love dreaming about her, but now I'm lucky if it happens once a year.

 

[pixiefairy]

First off.....

Secondly, I remember having one dream like this. My uncle passed away in '07 when I was about 7 months pregnant with my youngest son. A few weeks after his funeral, I had a dream that he really wasn't dead, that he had to hide for awhile. We talked for a little bit, and then he said he had to leave. He gave me a hug, and I woke up. I was so happy...the feeling was so real...and I could still feel that hug. I always felt him around me, even though I didn't have any more dreams. We used his first name as our youngest son's middle name, and I think he may have been watching out for us. He didn't have kids of his own, but he loved his nieces and nephews like they were his own.

 

[zalansky]

My story is similar to the OP and to dreamin'disney. I am the youngest of four and my sisters all got to enjoy my mom dance at their weddings and see their babies grow up. i was a lot younger than my siblings, mom died when I was 29 from cancer and never even met my husband. Like you, OP, I was envious of the fact my siblings got to share the most imporant parts of their lives with my mom. I feel my kids are definitely cheated not ever getting to have mom spoil them and love them.

Where I differ, is I have only had a handful of dreams that I can recall about my mother. And its been almost 13 years.

However, and I hesitate to post it, I definitely feel her presence with me a lot. I'll just give one crazy example...back in 2003 I felt like I had a vision of someone walking in our house...this was before we went to bed. I made my husband check all the locks etc. The next morning we all went to work and were robbed in broad daylight. Because I'd had that vision I hid my jewelry that included some my mom left to me. I know it sounds insane, but I do believe she had a hand in it. Maybe its just my need to be connected to her. I could go on with a few more stories, but won't! No need for y'all to have me committed. LOL.

I don't think we ever "get over" losing loved one. It gets easier for sure, you just learn to live with missing them. I still cry some days...heck just because they're gone we never stop needing our moms. HUGS OP!

 

[dreamin_disney]

My story is similar to the OP and to dreamin'disney. I am the youngest of four and my sisters all got to enjoy my mom dance at their weddings and see their babies grow up. i was a lot younger than my siblings, mom died when I was 29 from cancer and never even met my husband. Like you, OP, I was envious of the fact my siblings got to share the most imporant parts of their lives with my mom. I feel my kids are definitely cheated not ever getting to have mom spoil them and love them.

Where I differ, is I have only had a handful of dreams that I can recall about my mother. And its been almost 13 years.

However, and I hesitate to post it, I definitely feel her presence with me a lot. I'll just give one crazy example...back in 2003 I felt like I had a vision of someone walking in our house...this was before we went to bed. I made my husband check all the locks etc. The next morning we all went to work and were robbed in broad daylight. Because I'd had that vision I hid my jewelry that included some my mom left to me. I know it sounds insane, but I do believe she had a hand in it. Maybe its just my need to be connected to her. I could go on with a few more stories, but won't! No need for y'all to have me committed. LOL.

I don't think we ever "get over" losing loved one. It gets easier for sure, you just learn to live with missing them. I still cry some days...heck just because they're gone we never stop needing our moms. HUGS OP!

We have lots of similarities-lol! My mom did meet by husband fiance at the time. SHe knew someday he and I would get married and she held out to meet our dd. We bought a house and she was able to see that her baby(ME) was goinf to be ok. Well she died one month after we moved into our house. We moved in and I kid you not our dd's toys would go off. DD was only 3-4 months so there was no way dd was crawling outta her crub and into her toy box in the closet-lol! Dh's air compresser would go off only when dd and I were home alone. When dd got older she was 2yrs old paying in the hall. I was washing the dishes and i could hear her talking away. My 1st thought was dh got home early. I check on dd and dh wasnt home. I go back and wash dishes and i hear her again like someon was in the house. I go check on her and no on so i ask her who are you talking to. She points up to the attic.

I didnt put any pictures of my mom up in our house and i didnt talk about her much but dd had a connection with her and would often talk about her. When dd was 3 she said my mom went to her daycare to visit her DD would ask if we could buy my mom a b-day gift and i'd realize my moms b-day was approaching-weird.

One time i was driving her home from the babysitter and she was talking away and i asked who she was talking to and this time she was able to talk and said grandma " "
so i say what did she say
dd says tell " "(my older sis ) that i love her


now dd is 12 and sometimes will say she wishes she got to know my mom. When dd was about 10 she would say it wasnt fair she didnt get to know grandma

some mediums on tv say to talk to our loved one because they can hear us and they know what goes on in our lives. 2 tears ago dh and I finally got married and I alsways told my mom she would be the one walking me down the asile and before i walked down I silently said ok mom it time to walk me To the guest I walked down by myself but only I knew my mom was by my side