Wednesday's Redneck Riddle

[lovetoscrap]

What if the parties in question were already at a family reunion?

REDNECK FAMILY TREE



Many, many years ago
When I was twenty-three,
I got married to a widow
Who was pretty as could be.

This widow had a daughter
Who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her,
And soon the two were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.

To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.

For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up daughter
Who, of course was my step-mother.

Father's wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter's son.

My wife is now my mother's mom.
And it surely makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She is my grandma too.

If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.

For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa!

 

[lewdyan1]

But if she is just going to make us go to her appointment with her and sit in the waiting room with a bunch of year old copies of big print Readers Digests and Family Circle and Neurology Today, with just that annoying baby toy with the wires and the beads to play with, then the 1st Runner up will have to take her place:

Donna

Great so we get to play in Girl Scout hell! Thanks I think I'll go to the dentist instead!

That is because you don't have quality, content-rich posts like I do!

is vern alans brother?

 

[lovetoscrap]

monymony

 

[monymony3471]

Did you try Payless Shoes? I have always had good luck finding them there. Walmart used to carry them but the last time I looked about 2 years ago they stopped. I can't remember if Target and Kmart have them.

What size do you need? I may have a pair or 2 still in the dress up box that are still useable.

Her shoe size is 8-9, she's only 3.

Payless? I'll have to try that thanks

The rest don't have/or carry any.

 

[sumrmist]

were not even gonna make a wooooo much less a hooty

 

[lovetoscrap]

Her shoe size is 8-9, she's only 3.

Payless? I'll have to try that thanks

The rest don't have/or carry any.

I will have my kids look for ours when they get home, but call Payless if you have one around you. They always have ballet shoes at the ones I have been to, and in lots of small sizes.

Oooooooo. Forgot about this!!!

LOOK!http://www.payless.com/Catalog/productdetail.aspx?ItemCode=55753&ProductColor=Pink&Width=Regular&TLC=Girls&SLC=GirlsDance&BLC=GirlsDanceDance

You can order online and pick them up in the store and I think you don't have to pay shipping fees. Call and if they don't have the size you need in the store just order and pick up, or have them shipped to you. Much easier for a mom with 4 kids, especially 2 small ones!

 

[trappednabox]

Hello all!! School is out for the day!!

No school for me till MONDAY!

 

[trappednabox]

I think I'm in....I am, however, a city girl and neither speak nor understand redneck (we're just going to forget that my family comes from West Virginia )

I'm a city mouse too, so I'm lost here

 

[monymony3471]

I will have my kids look for ours when they get home, but call Payless if you have one around you. They always have ballet shoes at the ones I have been to, and in lots of small sizes.

Oooooooo. Forgot about this!!!

LOOK!http://www.payless.com/Catalog/productdetail.aspx?ItemCode=55753&ProductColor=Pink&Width=Regular&TLC=Girls&SLC=GirlsDance&BLC=GirlsDanceDance

You can order online and pick them up in the store and I think you don't have to pay shipping fees. Call and if they don't have the size you need in the store just order and pick up, or have them shipped to you. Much easier for a mom with 4 kids, especially 2 small ones!

So, how's the weather?

Kids wore long pants, sweat shirts and spring jackets to the bus stop this morning.

 

[trappednabox]

If I read this right I have a 50/50 chance, so pm sent.

I had to abandon the thread yesterday due to trying to find pink ballet slippers, toddler size, and no such luck.

Someone asked how old the kids are: 11, 8, 3, and 1 month.

Thanks for all the nice comments on my kids. Who would like to babysit?

I would, but that would be kinda a long way to drive to babysit

I'm the one the family always calls to babysit I have the most patience

 

[monymony3471]

I will have my kids look for ours when they get home, but call Payless if you have one around you. They always have ballet shoes at the ones I have been to, and in lots of small sizes.

Oooooooo. Forgot about this!!!

LOOK!http://www.payless.com/Catalog/productdetail.aspx?ItemCode=55753&ProductColor=Pink&Width=Regular&TLC=Girls&SLC=GirlsDance&BLC=GirlsDanceDance

You can order online and pick them up in the store and I think you don't have to pay shipping fees. Call and if they don't have the size you need in the store just order and pick up, or have them shipped to you. Much easier for a mom with 4 kids, especially 2 small ones!

Of course, they don't have the size I need instock on line! DOH!

I'll call, wish me luck!

 

[trappednabox]

Morning all!

I am IN.

But the real question is when Vernon asked his sister in law if she wanted to see his new truck, does that constitute a proposal of common law marriage?

Absolutely, and if she sits in it, they have done the deed and are now hitched!

Uh oh!! that means I'm hitched to a few guys!

 

[trappednabox]

let me just say...Im having fun on the riddle threads Can I do tomorrows?

grrrrrrrrrrr even here
This forum requires that you wait 40 seconds between posts. Please try again in 14 seconds.

If you want to I'll let you wear my Thursday Riddle Goddes tiara for the day

 

[trappednabox]

Okay, so Twinks and I have been discussing Vernon's family life behind y'alls backs and figured we should bring it out here in the open:


Here is what we know so far about Vern.

TM: Well he can be the legal father of his widow's sister's baby

LTS: Well, of course, that was never in doubt! Chances are good he may also be their cousin and their uncle!

TM: He is most certainly their cousin.... on both sides. I am not sure if he is their uncle. What color are his eyes again?

LTS: One is brown, but the other one was shot out one night when he was out gigging frogs with Skeeter, and ole' Skeeter thought he was a deer and cause they were both drunk and Vern went to pee in the woods and . . .


We figured it was time to let y'all help fill in the rest. Remember--going for a 3 day in a row HOOTY!

OMG!

and I'm trying to help us hooty but not using the multi quote today

 

[trappednabox]

BREAKING NEWS!


This just in:

and Vern just loves his motorcycle

 

[lovetoscrap]

You are doing a much better job today Boxy!

Weather here is hot, hot, hot.

Speaking of which where is Conch? Does he not like my riddles?

And where is Duck?

I think they don't like me

 

[trappednabox]

My dear, what is it that you are trying to say? Please enunciate. I most certainly have difficulty with your rustic speech.






Now I done told you that that there is foreplay, not proposing marriage.

Where have you been Mister!!!

 

[trappednabox]

You are doing a much better job today Boxy!

Weather here is hot, hot, hot.

Speaking of which where is Conch? Does he not like my riddles?

And where is Duck?

I think they don't like me

it's not so hot here today, but that's b/c it's been raining and cloudy all day. even with my umbrella I got soaked on my way to school, then my binder got wet so some of my papers are smeared now

 

[trappednabox]

is vern alans brother?

Of course that is what you are going to say....
Not even common law marriage?

What if the parties in question were already at a family reunion?

 

[trappednabox]

I thought thats how all of them met their spouses?

REDNECK FAMILY TREE



Many, many years ago
When I was twenty-three,
I got married to a widow
Who was pretty as could be.

This widow had a daughter
Who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her,
And soon the two were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.

To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.

For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up daughter
Who, of course was my step-mother.

Father's wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter's son.

My wife is now my mother's mom.
And it surely makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She is my grandma too.

If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.

For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa!

poor grandpa