wedding

[Mrsdisneyb2b]

Can i message you back on here with what you just wrote or do u want a PM? (because you said you were taking that message down, and my reply is about what you just wrote)

you can post, its fine

 

[HeatherNJNC]

Oh Jenny I am so sorry! I just wish I knew what went through people's minds when they treat their FAMILY like this! I understand what you're going through...it is happening with my dad, and it's ridiculous! As hard as it is, you just have to remember that this is your time to be excited and enjoy every second of the planning and process! Keep your head up girl!

 

[malibustacey]

I cant belive its like 2 months away and you have nearly everything sorted that should be the stressy part (all the bits YOU made for your wedding) and you would think it would be plain sailing from here on now but no. There will always be something that will create a problem, and in this case its Vins ma. Its hard because, they always say that the grooms mum always gets left out and that can cause problems but you have given her stuff to do and you have let her get a quite (**well a bit hah) involved and thats great because many brides do not include the MIL in any wedding planning. It seems like she thinks this is her wedding, and maybe she is having this controlling streak because she may have had things done differently at her wedding? I dont know, but im guessing that, and sometimes people like to 'take over' other peoples weddings when they think they are being helpful when they are not.

Its not on with her telling you not to expect people not to turn up to the rehersal, and to tell you its not important - again, this could be her deep feelings about her wedding? But even so, she should not be saying this to you- she should be supporting you like hell because your her DIL to be! Surely she should know that if she upsets you, she upsets her son too - youre gonna be husband and wife soon and ya know, youre kinda 'one person' so if you upset one, you will upset the other!

I feel where you are coming from when you was afraid to tell Vin because you would think he would freak on you-but he didnt because this is pretty serious, and its great he actually feels the same way as you. I think Vin understands that his mum may have taken it too far in causing problems.

I dont know what advice to give you for when you come home, I wish i could come home with you and sort everyone out for you! I suppose you could sit down with Vins mother - alone, and just let out your feelings and tell her you love that she is interested and into the wedding but you and Vinny want to sort everything out yourselves from now on because you only have 2 months left and dont want to stress anyone else out. Just dont stress yourself out too much, I know its hard not to, but you need to think of yourself (and Vin) and you do not need the added stress so if it means putting people in their place then its what you have to do. Ill be leaving work soon so i will be back on here in an hour. Hugs

 

[Mrsdisneyb2b]

thank you girls, I really needed to know I am not crazy....

On a lighter note:

my Maid of Honor Vanessa (the second one) was on the tele today!!!!

http://www.foxnews.com/search-results/m/22298384/get-married-on-the-cheap.htm#q=WEDDING

 

[Bolanette87]

I wish there was more I could do than I just can't believe she'd say all that to you!

Bob xoxoxoxo

 

[Shyvioletisme]

I dont know what advice to give you for when you come home, I wish i could come home with you and sort everyone out for you! I suppose you could sit down with Vins mother - alone, and just let out your feelings and tell her you love that she is interested and into the wedding but you and Vinny want to sort everything out yourselves from now on because you only have 2 months left and dont want to stress anyone else out. Just dont stress yourself out too much, I know its hard not to, but you need to think of yourself (and Vin) and you do not need the added stress so if it means putting people in their place then its what you have to do. Ill be leaving work soon so i will be back on here in an hour. Hugs

I agree here...Maybe you and Vin need to sit down with her together and nicely explain that you are glad she is so into being involved but that you feel like she is making decisions about the wedding without consulting with you or Vin and it is causing a lot of confusion for everyone involved. and that while you appreciate it, the two of you would like handle everything from now on and that she can just sit back and wait for the wedding and enjoy it. There is no reason for all this stress this close to the wedding and not to mention all the confusion she is causing. Good luck!

 

[Bolanette87]

I agree with Stacey and Shyvioletisme.... That might be a good way to approach things...

Bob xoxoxox

 

[Mrsdisneyb2b]

Can i message you back on here with what you just wrote or do u want a PM? (because you said you were taking that message down, and my reply is about what you just wrote)

I agree here...Maybe you and Vin need to sit down with her together and nicely explain that you are glad she is so into being involved but that you feel like she is making decisions about the wedding without consulting with you or Vin and it is causing a lot of confusion for everyone involved. and that while you appreciate it, the two of you would like handle everything from now on and that she can just sit back and wait for the wedding and enjoy it. There is no reason for all this stress this close to the wedding and not to mention all the confusion she is causing. Good luck!

I agree with Stacey and Shyvioletisme.... That might be a good way to approach things...

Bob xoxoxox

I spoke to vinnie.
He said this morning he did just that and she changed the story around...

said that she just doesnt want us to worry and that she would have bought the food for that night...

Wonderful... I love stories that have two endings

 

[DISNEYMAGIC2005]

Awwww.... Jenny I am so sorry that you are going through another dilemna. I know that you haven't had it easy and you need to remember that you... and Vin control your day or day before or day after. She needs to understand that. I don't know what you could say to her to make her get that so I just wouldn't say much at all. That is how I deal with DFs family. I have more to say but I'm on my posting this from my phone. Stay strong.

 

[torsie24]

Oh Jen, I'm so sorry this all happened. I can only imagine how bad it must have made you feel.

I promise it will all blow over, and she'll realise she has been an insensitive fool, until then make sure you stand your ground, and don't let her see her words have made you reconsider anything, as then she'll be getting her way.

It's yours and Vinnie's day, and I think families often get jealous over that fact, which causes moments like these.

Once the wedding is here all of this carp will seem a world away and everything will be beautiful and perfect.

Hope you have a nice relaxing weekend.

 

[Mrsdisneyb2b]

You girls have already made me feelbetter. At least I know Iam not over reacting. Ive decided after work I will go shopping around for a place to have the RD for only the bridal party...

YAY?

maybe ill treat myself to a new pair of sunglasses?

 

[tiggersam00]

Oh Jenny! I am so sorry you are dealing with a difficult (mildly put) FMIL! No fun at all! I agree with the girls, she is trying to control everything wayyyy too much, I was so glad to hear that Vinnie told her off. Maybe that was the push she needed to back off and relax. She has no right to tell people they don't have to come to your rehersal! I would let her know that she does not have to come if she doesn't want to, but the rest of the wedding party will be attending. She is totally unreasonable here! Go buy some new shades girl, retail therapy always helps!

She obviously knows she was in the wrong by her actions after the fact, so maybe this will be the wakeup call for her to relax. I think you and Vin presented a unified front is very important and it sounds like your wonderful DF knows that , he is standing up for his future wife like a good man. Love that part, so sweet!

It also sounds like she is munipulating you to do whatever she thinks "is appropriate" for the wedding. Since you are a kind awesome person she sees you as an easy target, and it is very disrespectful. I hope you have a good weekend with no tension... and if not hop on the train and you can come visit me lol!

 

[LLLBelle]

I am sorry to hear about your FMIL and no you are not overreactting. Some mother's are just afraid of letting go of their sons (especially if they are the only one). The best thing I can say is stand up for what you want, let her know, she has to respect that (hopefully) and enjoy the fact that you are getting married in two months YAY!!!

Plus, shopping is always good therapy

 

[msGAJeepgurl]

ok i've been a lurker, but I cannot lurk anymore. Jenny - you are talented, creative, smart, beautiful and obviously quite funny. Vin loves you for a reason....your FMIL is always gonna be his mamma. But it sounds like Vin is definately understanding your point of view. So maybe sit down with Vin & FMIL and say "i feel that lately there has been some miscommunication, so lets spell out everything Vin and I are 100% planning, what we need your help with, and what you would like to help with..." As my momma calls it, have a "come to jesus meeting." I totally understand where you are coming from, my FBIL (AND his grandma who raised my DF) who is also the BM informed me that to support my DF i should quit my job and be barefoot and preggers.

Ok sorry for the hijacking - you are so not alone and i totally support you.

 

[spacerangerqueen]

I'm so sorry! That's just crazy. Of course the wedding party needs to be at the rehearsal! That's the whole point of it. When I was in my MOH's wedding we spent a ton of time figuring out how the ceremony was going to proceed. Afterwards we went to the groom's parents and the had a huge cookout for everyone including our the out of town guests who were not in the bridal party.
How rude is it to serve a meal that the bride can't eat?! And who has she been discussing the food with anyway?

I hope your day gets better!

 

[figmentfan814]

Jenny, I'm sorry to hear about all the problems with your MIL. I agree that you should include your bridal party no matter what and find your own location if you need to by yourself. We had a lot of problems with my MIL too and DH and I ended up hosting the rehearsal dinner on our own. After our planning session trip I tried to sit her down to show her pictures of the possible restaurants for the dinner and she said, "So, what!" then walked away from me and never looked at the pictures. Kris ended up speaking to her, but that attitude continued throughout the wedding planning process.

By the time our wedding rolled around I decided that her opinion shouldn't hurt my feelings and the important thing was that the wedding was everything I dreamed it to be for DH and I. Once I decided not to let her opinions impact my feelings I felt lightyears better. Retail therapy also helps out a lot too

 

[Mrsdisneyb2b]

Oh Jenny! I am so sorry you are dealing with a difficult (mildly put) FMIL! No fun at all! I agree with the girls, she is trying to control everything wayyyy too much, I was so glad to hear that Vinnie told her off. Maybe that was the push she needed to back off and relax. She has no right to tell people they don't have to come to your rehersal! I would let her know that she does not have to come if she doesn't want to, but the rest of the wedding party will be attending. She is totally unreasonable here! Go buy some new shades girl, retail therapy always helps!

She obviously knows she was in the wrong by her actions after the fact, so maybe this will be the wakeup call for her to relax. I think you and Vin presented a unified front is very important and it sounds like your wonderful DF knows that , he is standing up for his future wife like a good man. Love that part, so sweet!

It also sounds like she is munipulating you to do whatever she thinks "is appropriate" for the wedding. Since you are a kind awesome person she sees you as an easy target, and it is very disrespectful. I hope you have a good weekend with no tension... and if not hop on the train and you can come visit me lol!

I do love him. He really sees how she is so it is a good thing. I am a easy target. I always have been... In the past I really lost myself to a few friends with doing whatever they wanted and realized they were using me as their chaperone because I was the only one with a car... so, this is hard to see I am falling in to the same pattern...

And I would love to hop on a train to see you. How long does it take??

I am sorry to hear about your FMIL and no you are not overreactting. Some mother's are just afraid of letting go of their sons (especially if they are the only one). The best thing I can say is stand up for what you want, let her know, she has to respect that (hopefully) and enjoy the fact that you are getting married in two months YAY!!!

Plus, shopping is always good therapy

She is very terrible in that aspect. When her last son (33 yo) moved out she was sick crying all the time. She still made his breakfast, lunch dinner and fixedhis bed...

ok i've been a lurker, but I cannot lurk anymore. Jenny - you are talented, creative, smart, beautiful and obviously quite funny. Vin loves you for a reason....your FMIL is always gonna be his mamma. But it sounds like Vin is definately understanding your point of view. So maybe sit down with Vin & FMIL and say "i feel that lately there has been some miscommunication, so lets spell out everything Vin and I are 100% planning, what we need your help with, and what you would like to help with..." As my momma calls it, have a "come to jesus meeting." I totally understand where you are coming from, my FBIL (AND his grandma who raised my DF) who is also the BM informed me that to support my DF i should quit my job and be barefoot and preggers.

Ok sorry for the hijacking - you are so not alone and i totally support you.

Oh lord... barefoot and oreggo?!?!?! And I am glad to hear from you, made me smile!!

I'm so sorry! That's just crazy. Of course the wedding party needs to be at the rehearsal! That's the whole point of it. When I was in my MOH's wedding we spent a ton of time figuring out how the ceremony was going to proceed. Afterwards we went to the groom's parents and the had a huge cookout for everyone including our the out of town guests who were not in the bridal party.
How rude is it to serve a meal that the bride can't eat?! And who has she been discussing the food with anyway?

I hope your day gets better!

I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jenny, I'm sorry to hear about all the problems with your MIL. I agree that you should include your bridal party no matter what and find your own location if you need to by yourself. We had a lot of problems with my MIL too and DH and I ended up hosting the rehearsal dinner on our own. After our planning session trip I tried to sit her down to show her pictures of the possible restaurants for the dinner and she said, "So, what!" then walked away from me and never looked at the pictures. Kris ended up speaking to her, but that attitude continued throughout the wedding planning process.

By the time our wedding rolled around I decided that her opinion shouldn't hurt my feelings and the important thing was that the wedding was everything I dreamed it to be for DH and I. Once I decided not to let her opinions impact my feelings I felt lightyears better. Retail therapy also helps out a lot too

THakn you for that. I really am trying...
I bought myself a pair of jeans...but with a gift card so im not sure if that counts

 

[Mrsdisneyb2b]

Hi girls,
Sorry i didnt get to update this weekend. IT was rather long and we had so much to do.

Today, I am feeling very very sick. I took a sudafed because I thought it would help my sinus infection and all it has done is made me very naucious. And, I lost my free and dont have lunch today so there goes being able to get some bread to coat the stomach...

Vin spoke to hismom but she doesnt know that I know he did.So, she has been on best behavior. Saturday I got to meet up with two of my girl friends, and one of them told me that she and her boyfriend will be vacationing at akl the same week as our honeymoon!
I was so excited and Vin was so excited, and then, the family begins to tell us that its so strange, that were supposed to spend our honeymoon with just us etc...

And I turned around and said "Last year we hung out with a newlywed couple staying at the same resort, whats the difference if its a couple we would rather hang out with?''

Why must there be problems with everything?

Vin surprised me and finished the bathroom this weekend! we have a door, a toilet, sinkn and tub! Exciting! He got the door too for our closet in the bathroom. I cant wait till its done andI can post pictures... he is so talented...

Please PLEASE please keep him in your prayers. He is taking the electrical union test today. He got very blessed, as he is one of 100 people who were chosen from thousands of applicants. He needs this pick me up...

Other than that, I headed out to Michaels yesterday and got some disney scrapbooking paper so that I can make the journal book for me and vinnie for our disneymoon. I cant wait to begin it!!!

Okay, so enough rants. My fitting is next friday (changed again) and tonight is the church rehearsal for confirmation (the 31st) I stilll have to pick a dress to wear that day... I am sure I will be posting pictures here because I will be beyond confused... and need my Dis girls help as always!!!!

Hope you are all well!!

 

[tiggersam00]

Glad to hear FMIL is behaving! And it is not weird at all to see people on your honeymoon, geez check out these boards lol! I don't think I have seen a disney TR without a Dis Meet in it! Totally normal

Yay for a bathroom! I know how exciting it is, I am actually waiting for mine to be finished being painted... it's only been 6 months lol! I am paying my brother when he gets home from college this week to do it though (gotta put him to work lol)

Sounds like you have a busy week Jenny! But lots of fun stuff, so it's all good

 

[Mrsdisneyb2b]

Glad to hear FMIL is behaving! And it is not weird at all to see people on your honeymoon, geez check out these boards lol! I don't think I have seen a disney TR without a Dis Meet in it! Totally normal

Yay for a bathroom! I know how exciting it is, I am actually waiting for mine to be finished being painted... it's only been 6 months lol! I am paying my brother when he gets home from college this week to do it though (gotta put him to work lol)

Sounds like you have a busy week Jenny! But lots of fun stuff, so it's all good

Yes, busy as a bee but I am going to take in every minute of it!!

YAY for your bathroom! It feels so nice to have a door though, before I was facing my stove