Wedding/Travel Concerns - How far is too far to drive?

[supercarrie]

My fiance and I are planning a wedding tentatively scheduled for August, 2008. He lives in London and I am here in CA for the time being. (I will be moving over in September to join him permanently in London.) We are having a slight issue with the location at the moment.

We are planning on having our wedding in CA, mainly because the exchange rate will allow for a much nicer celebration over here! His family and closest friends are already planning on attending, so that isn't the issue at all. We are giving them over a year's notice and have offered to help with accomodation, etc if needed. We aren't "expecting" anyone to come, and are trying to be flexible in all ways about helping them pay for their travel if they need it.

The biggest issue about the location actually has been from my own best friend. The wedding venue that is our number one option right now is in San Diego - about 1.5 hours away from our homes in Orange County. (She lives about 5 minutes away from me.) She has complained that 1.5 hours is too far to drive for the wedding. I wonder if part of it is jealousy (a long story, but she has told me several times recently that I am "beating" her to the aisle and "stealing" her dream to live in London. She hasn't been the most supportive since the planning began.)

Anyways, I digress. I was wondering what your opinion is - would you drive 1.5 hours to attend a wedding? How far is "too far" for you to comfortably go? We are also planning on running transport to/from the San Diego train station so people could take the train rather than drive, if there is enough interest. The wedding venue is better than anything we have found in OC so far, both with the location and the price. I just don't want to upset all of our OC-based guests by having somewhere that is too far away!

 

[wowsmom]

I was in my best friend's wedding and it was a 5 hour drive, one way. I also went down for the bridal shower, also a 5 hour drive, one way.

 

[Beth76]

Oh for crying out loud! Do not chose your wedding location based on your friend's desires. Your friend is being petty and rude. I certainly hope she's not the Maid of Honor.

 

[Amlee]

It's YOUR wedding!! If the two of you are happy with the location then go for it. Twice my family (several generations of us) have drove 6 plus hours for 2 different wedding. I don't plan and have never planned or wanted a local wedding. I have several locations picked out that one day I hope to narrow down. Some even outside the states. I would hope my family would attend, but if not then it's their choice.

 

[Honu]

My only concern is that I have been caught in hellish traffic on the 5 in San Diego on the weekends. Where is San Diego is the event site?

 

[supercarrie]

My only concern is that I have been caught in hellish traffic on the 5 in San Diego on the weekends. Where is San Diego is the event site?

Its on Shelter Island. And I know that traffic can be terrible on weekends - it would be a Sunday if it makes any difference. (I was hoping most people would be going the other way - north on the 5 - than southbound on a Sunday afternoon!)

 

[dreamcometrue]

I live in SoCal too, and I know about the traffic. But traffic or not, if my best friend got married in San Diego (we live in the L.A. area), you bet I would be there. An hour and a half is nothing, IMO!

 

[JennaTX]

If it was family or a "best" friend, I would drive across country for the wedding.

 

[supercarrie]

I thought that was what most people would say, but wanted to make sure I wasn't being unreasonable! I drive 2 hours one way to work/school every day (up in LA, horrible traffic) so 1.5 hours to me for my own wedding is nothing.

I know she will attend, but I think she just wants to complain about everything...kind of sad since I was hoping she would be a bridesmaid (SIL to be my matron of honor) but if she whines about everything, I'm not sure I want her to be. If it was her wedding, I would go pretty much anywhere she asked me to.

 

[RangerPooh]

I am originally from Northern Ca (San Jose area) and DH and I got married at Disneyland. All of our friends and family (with the exception of a few in So Cal) drove or flew the 300 miles from the Bay Area. At first people complained becuase it wa snot local but we told them that they didn't have to attend if they didn't want to, this stopped the complaints and they attended. It was our wedding and we wanted it to be in a special place (location fo our first BIG date).

I once drove 16 hours for a wedding that I was in. I had to leave half way into the reception to return home to be in school the next day (bride was miffed at me for this...). Plus I am flying from Washington to NY for my best friends weding this summer, so I don't have any compalints about traveing to a wedding that I realy want to attend. Bottom line is that if your guess want to attend they will. If people are unsure of the drive you might suggest that they make a weekend of it.

 

[SandraVB79]

Even in Belgium, 1,5 hours is not too far to drive (mind you, in 1,5 hours, you're from one side of Belgium to the other, so we have a whole different view about distance, a 15-minute drive is already considered far )

I wouldn't base my choice on her jaleous reaction.
Really

 

[java]

Um I have driven "distance" for 2 weddings.
The first was a 5 hour drive for my friends wedding
The second was a trip from NJ to MIAMI!!! WITH 3 KIDS! so about 22 hours.(and we only stayed the weekend- turned around and came back)

I don't count 1.5 hours as a long trip. Heck we even attended a wedding of a distant cousin of my husband's that was 2 hours away.
She sounds like sour grapes. The next time she complains I would point out that it is a good thing that it is YOUR wedding then as it is the way YOU want it. and ...You hope she will be able to attend but if the drive is more important than your friendship so be it.
I was jut thinking that I would drive 1.5 hours to get to a good mall.

 

[meandtheguys2]

Driving 6 to go to my nephew's in a couple of weeks. Good luck!

 

[salmoneous]

For a good friend, no distance is too far. But I do think you owe some consideration your guests. If the travel can't be helped, it can't be helped. You've got people in London and people in California - somebody is going to have to travel far.

But if all your California friends are in Orange Country, you should try really hard to pick a place that is convenient for them. A wedding reception is a party you are throwing for your friends. Keep their needs in mind. I'd much rather go to a party close to home than travel to one far away, even if the far away place is nicer.

 

[Disney Doll]

I'd keep my wedding plans as is and find a new friend!

Seriously...keep an eye on this friend. She's no friend.

 

[Laura]

Don't change your plans for her. I've driven that long for a few weddings. It's really not a big deal. She's just being overly dramatic; ignore her.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I guess I am in the minority here. I think if you are planning an event like a wedding, while it is your day you need to be considerate of your guests as well. If everyone has to drive 1.5 hours, 6 hours etc. just so you can have some certain location I think that is a bit rude. Would I still go? Most likely, but you mentioned it is on a Sunday evening and people work on Monday. Others may have small children and getting a babysitter mught be a problem as well. When we got married we could have had a Friday night for alot cheaper but since we had people coming from a state away we knew it was alot to ask of everyone to take half a day off of work to attend so we opted for a Saturday night. Do what you feel is right in your heart, I would like to mention that I also would not say anything to my friend if she booked a wedding that far away. My sister? You bet I would- but a friend? Nope. Good luck and have a great day!

 

[mickeyboat]

It is definitely not too far unless she has small children who are hard to travel with, or some health condition which makes it hard to travel.

If she is young, healthy and otherwise unattached, 1.5 hours is nothing. Tell your friend to get over it.

DH and I lived in different parts of the country - he was in VT, I was in NC. We chose to have the wedding in VT because all of his family was there, and most of mine would have to travel no matter where it was. Yes, there were some people who could not make it because of the travel, but many people sacrificed because they loved me, and traveled hours and hours to get here. I will always remember what they did for me for the rest of my life.

Congratulations!

Denae

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

Hello-

DH and I got married at Disney on December 29, 2005. That was the date we met at Disney 5 years prior. So, we were awful people and made people come from all over the country during the busiest time of year.

- My MOH drove to Disney from Indianapolis.
- My aunt was our officiant and flew in from the UK.
- My sisters came in from New Mexico & Nevada.
- My dad came in from South Dakota.
- My grandparents drove up from the Keys
- The rest of our family is from Ohio and Pennsylvania. And we drove in from Maryland.

If she's complaining about 1.5 hours, she might need to reconsider her expectations. We have gone from Annapolis to Cleveland, Chicago, and Traverse City, Michigan (nearly impossible to get to from this coast!) for weddings DH has been in the bridal party for. For Traverse City, Michigan, it was 12 hours in transit with a 4-5 hour drive from the airport... Needless to say, I'm on your side with this whole deal.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Your friend is a PITA.