Wedding/Travel Concerns - How far is too far to drive?

[barkley]

for me, part of the issue would be the time the event was held-(if it's a wedding i am considering attending in the first place).

i lived in the san francisco bay area, and traffic could be horrendous. there were some weddings i opted not to go to, because they were being held at night, on a weekend, when traffic was horrendous -and while i might do that 1 1/2 hour drive with regularity during the day, i just did'nt drive those same roads at night. and i certainly did'nt do them on a night when i had to go to work the next day. i attended on co-workers wedding which she choose to hold about the same distance away from her home-she was quite upset when about 60% of the guests no-showed or skipped out realy quick on the reception (the wedding ran 2 hours over and people had to get home or face a nightmare of traffic that time of night).

another issue you might face is if you have out of town guests-do they stay in close proximity to you or the wedding site. if they stay close to you do you provide them with transportation (lots of people do not want to do a long drive after flying someplace for a wedding), if they stay near the wedding site are they going to be expected to travel to visit with you/family?

we declined an invite that would have involved about a 6 hour drive each way for us (bride and groom liked location-noone they knew/family lived in less than a 3 hour drive to the place-and no close airports/public transportation).. normaly we would have attended and booked a hotel to facilitate attendance, but when we explored the situation we realized that given the location (california beach town) the rates/minimum stay were outrageous (3 nite minimum), given the time/date (a saturday afternoon-dh would have had to take friday off so we could arrive on time/let him get some sleep-as well as monday-or just lose the several hundreds of dollars of room cost), and the duration of the wedding (saturday afternoon-was planned to last, ceremony and wedding total-one hour). it just was'nt feasable or fiancialy prudent for us to attend (and apparantly allot of guests felt the same-VERY low attendance)

 

[Sandy V.]

I think your "friend" (and I really don't think she's much of one) is a potential thorn in your side regarding the wedding. I would be very leary of keeping her in the wedding party- just seems to me that her jealousy may overwhelm her and not make her a very supportive bridesmaid.

As for the wedding location, I can see pros and cons to it, but if you've looked long and hard and really feel that this is the best place for your budget/logistics, then go for it and have a wonderful day with whoever can attend.

Best wishes.

 

[supercarrie]

Thanks for all the opinions everyone!

To answer a few questions - my best friend is young (21), healthy, will be on summer vacation (she is still in school and her family - mom, dad, sister - are all teachers are well, and they won't be session in August.) So there are no concerns about having to work the next day - she works for my mom, who would obviously give her the day off.

For the out of town guests, we are going to block out rooms at several nearby hotels and provide a shuttle service to/from the hotels to the wedding site. We are doing these regardless of where we choose to have it - a lot of people will be flying in from the east coast and of course London, so they will need assistance whether its in OC or San Diego. It is very close to the San Diego airport as well. For the OC and LA based people, if there is enough interest we will arrange for transport (cabs or rent a van/bus of some kind) to make trips to and from the train station so they won't have to drive most of the trip. We are also going to arrange transport for those people who wish to spend time up in LA/OC before or after the wedding.

I do have friends scattered all over So CA - some in San Diego, some in OC, and some in LA. We are still considering options in OC because it is so centrally located, but most places we have liked have been way out of our price range. We are also considering doing a lunch ceremony/reception in San Diego as opposed to dinner, because obviously some of our guests need to work the next day.

I guess I feel like I am trying to make it as easy as possible for everyone who wants to be there to share in our day, and that doesn't make a difference to her...also I shouldn't mention this but her "dream" wedding location is in LA (not as far as San Diego, but definitely not OC, so she has no room to talk I suppose. )