Wedding/shower gifts for couple living together 20 yrs??

[sajetto]

Since she states she wants nothing, I would abide by that.

I guess I don't understand the need to get someone something when they clearly state "no gifts".

Same here.

 

[SplshMtn99]

All very good ideas. I've been out of the wedding / shower loop for some time, & I always think along the lines of small appliances & dishes. Things I'm sure she doesn't need. (Yes, her house is quite full already like most of us.)

And again, I always thought shower mean shower with gifts. I wasn't aware shower was just a party.

I've emailed my DSIL to see if she's going to shower & to see if perhaps she wants to split a small gift.

If not, I don't believe i'll attend.

Someone mentioned a minimum stay; yes the inn has a 2 night minimum. Going for just the day would be a LONG day with driving.

So, now, anyone on insight as to what casual dress means for an outdoor early fall wedding. This is not a traditional wedding by any means. Bride is free-spirited sort of & full of laughter. I think some of her wedding plans are making her mom nuts. ex: Pies instead of wedding cake. Its what she wants. She's older, she's had time to think about this.

I don't begrudge the bride having her day as some have thought. The surprise shower invite just kind of took me by surprise since she has stated over & over (at least to us anyway) that she's not looking for gifts. I think someone wasn't listening. I wouldn't imagine attending a shower without some kind of gift....as I've always thought that was the point of a point.

And some of you are right.....where the bride's "day" has turned into bride's "month" now-a-days. Glad i'm not having alot of weddings currently in life.

 

[pennst8r]

I always say that I could use a "wedding shower" more now than I did 15 years ago!

Not too many brides-to-be are living at home before they get married these days and need everything ....most couples are merging two homes/apts and still have a shower.

Even if they've been living together, you'd probably be surprised at what she might actually need. New spatulas, measuring cups/spoons, etc....all those little things that do need to be replaced. How about pretty dish towels? A new laundry basket with some padded hangers? Doesn't have to be expensive, but you could find some theme and put a few things together.

 

[maryliz]

I always say that I could use a "wedding shower" more now than I did 15 years ago!

Not too many brides-to-be are living at home before they get married these days and need everything ....most couples are merging two homes/apts and still have a shower.

Even if they've been living together, you'd probably be surprised at what she might actually need. New spatulas, measuring cups/spoons, etc....all those little things that do need to be replaced. How about pretty dish towels? A new laundry basket with some padded hangers? Doesn't have to be expensive, but you could find some theme and put a few things together.

ITA! I think that in this day and age, it's those who stay together for many years that deserve the showers every 10 or 15 years. I loved your ideas. I was going to suggest a nice new set of bath towels, as that's something you can always use. And sheets is a great idea too, but I think the OP said she doesn't know what size bed they have.

I would not go to a shower without a gift. But if the bride really doesn't want wedding gifts, I think the scrapbook or picture frames idea is great. It's something that they can treasure for years to come, as opposed to another blender. We went to a wedding that was a second marriage for both, and they had been living together, so we put together a lovely basket with wine, glasses, chocolates, bath stuff, and other stuff for a romantic evening.

MaryLiz

 

[SplshMtn99]

ohh, more good ideas...and ALOT easier than a scrapbook.

Casual dress ideas anyone? Early fall outdoors - daytime. (i live in jeans & jean capris. lol)

 

[froglady]

ohh, more good ideas...and ALOT easier than a scrapbook.

Casual dress ideas anyone? Early fall outdoors - daytime. (i live in jeans & jean capris. lol)

How about a pretty skirt and sweater set? I have a black print skirt from Chico's that is "gauzy" but not too "peasanty", if you know what I mean. It has some silver threads in it. I wear a black sweater set (tank and cardigan) with it, and then dress it up/down with jewelry. Pearls if it's dressy, chunky silver if not. Pumps for dressy, sandals or even...flip flops...if it's really casual. You could also wear a long sleeve knit top, if you prefer. The skirt is just below my knee, so I can wear a variety of footwear.

 

[twojo21]

why not stay only for the wedding night at the inn?

as for a gift i suggest a gift card or something different like camping gear or a side activity they enjoy doing.

 

[EthansMom]

Casual dress ideas anyone? Early fall outdoors - daytime. (i live in jeans & jean capris. lol)

I would probably go for a nice dress (something you might wear to church services, for instance) or even a nice slacks/blouse outfit. For men, I would go with slacks and a nice shirt, but probably not a jacket or tie.

 

[dcgrumpy]

I don't necessarily think that people who are living together don't need a shower. My sister and her husband lived together for a few years before getting married. But practically everything in their apartment was mix-matched hand me downs or cheap stuff that she bought when she was in her early 20's and first living on her own. She didn't have good pots or matching flatware etc...

 

[Crankyshank]

Oh I could so use a shower now. I'd go through the wedding hassle just for new bake and barware

How casual is the wedding facility? I'm thinking dress pants or a skirt and a nice twin set.

 

[SplshMtn99]

Nice dress ideas, but with this crowd, think even MORE casual. lol My DSIL who has a much better sense of this stuff was thinking that khakis & nice shirt with sandals (not flip flops) will be JUST fine. lol Very rural area.

Heck if you are all having showers for 10 to 15 yrs, then I want mine for 20 yrs in 2008.

Oh, and can't stay for 1 night. Inn has 2 night min...and other motels/cabins in area are booked. We are all still trying to figure out why.

I think with all your ideas, I'm good. I can surely come up with something now that won't cost too much....whether I decide its for shower or wedding gift. THANKS A BUNCH.

Feel free to discuss wedding / showers amongst yourselves if you like. This is interesting reading.

 

[barkley]

i've noticed that the "gauzy, peasanty" look (circa late 70's) seems to be popular again. i would think a skirt and blouse would be comfortable in this type of fabric (and would travel well). or just a blouse and comfortable pants.

i live in capri's too-and i've found some nice casual outfits i'de feel comfortable in at a wedding-usualy on the clearance rack once the winter stuff starts coming in. don't know what the weather's like there in the fall-here it can be anything from downright nippy to sweltering hot, so i'de likely pack something i could toss over my shoulders if the need presented itself.

one way you might save money on the hotel stay-see if they have any 2 bedroom suites and what the price difference is, it might be less for you and another couple to split a 2 b/r than to do 2 1 b/r's.

 

[PaulaSue]

Sorry but I wouldn't go. Sent a nice card and maybe a GC for somewhere.

After 20 years living together and then to cost so much If it were a real wedding it wouldn't cost the guests to attend but travel to and from and maybe one night reasonable lodging expenses. For it to caost more than a vacation to Disney is CRAZY!!!!!!

 

[SplshMtn99]

No, we aren't spending more than a vacation to Disney. IF THAT WERE CASE, NO WAY WOULD WE BE GOING!! Sorry if I implied that. I meant the hotel room is costing more than any Disney room we've stayed at. Yes, we are splitting the room with my DMIL & her boyfriend...and our 1/2 is STILL more per night than a WDW hotel room. times 2 for 2 nights.