Wedding Protocol.....

[SRUAlmn]

I just watched the WONDERFUL show on the Food Network about Disney Weddings. This is something I have always wanted to do, but here is my dilemma.... how do you invite people to your wedding with the expectation that they will have to pay for a flight (or drive) down there and a hotel stay? It's something my family is expecting for me as I have been talking about a WDW Wedding since I could talk, but my family and DBF's families are fairly small (ish) and I don't want to spend money on a beautiful perfect WDW wedding to only have 10 people there. So what would you think if you received an invitation from a friend or family member to a wedding that was 850 miles away or further? Are the bride and groom expected to pay part of travel expenses? How does this work? I thought about having the wedding down there just for whomever could get there and then a reception for everyone else when we get back, but I don't think we could afford to do both, plus, it would feel weird to have a reception a week after the wedding and after the honeymoon. Any thoughts???

 

[Aimeedyan]

You would treat it like any other destination wedding... you send invites to people, and usually include information about the trip itself, in it. Often, you can put together discounted packages with a travel agent in order to save them some money and headache, and keep everyone together.

I have a friend that married in Cancun. She sent out invites to everyone, which included total cost est and her travel agent's information. About 25 people were actually able to go down for it, though we were not. When they returned, they had a huge open house at their home for those that weren't able to attend. She said she wouldn't have done it any other way...

We have some other friend's doing a destination wedding iwth limited guests... they are having a big traditional reception once they return for everyone back home. We will attend it =) The reception is the fun part, anyways!

It's fairly common now to do these, and they always work out. *I* was not willing to do a destination wedding because it was too important to have ALL of my loved ones there, but many are quite content just with close family and friends - or even just their sweetie!

I don't think your potential guests will be surprised in the least about the expectation to pay their own way, and many may decide it's a perfect reason to get to WDW themselves! I know that Disney weddings get more and more expensive the more people are there, so keeping it small may be the best thing you can do... and have a huge party when you return, show the video, bring the pics, etc =)

Good luck in your planning!

 

[shortbun]

You could send out "save this date" cards 6 months in advance
so people knew it was coming and could make plans for a
vacation for themselves. Just a thought.

 

[Aurora63]

I agree with all of what the other posters have said.

Just ask yourself what is more important, having it at Disney, or having most of your friends and family their. Many people decline Destination wedding invite simply because of the distance, but then, people also don't go to weddings right around the corner for whatever reason.

Do whatever you feel is right! And if you only have ten people, Disney can do a beautiful job accomidating them as well!

 

[aprilgail2]

I've been to weddings where they paid our travel expenses and hotel stays and I've been to weddings where we were expected to pay our own. You should really let them know way far in advance so people could save money or plan their vacations around it...at my job we pick our vacations in Sept 2004 for the year 2005...you can't change the dates once you pick them and I know a lot of other jobbs are the same way.

 

[CBRorBust]

You are not obligated to pay for anyone's expenses except yours and your FH.

What you could do is prepare "out of town" bags for your guests. Fill them with little Disney things like parks of the maps, a list of your favorite rides/restaurants, Mickey candy, etc.

I second the Save the Date recommendation. If you are going to have a destination wedding or a wedding over a holiday, they are VIP! Send them out 12-6 months in advanced!

 

[ducklite]

I agree with all the others. You are not obligated to pay for anyone's travel expenses. One thing to keep in mind though--if you are having attendants, that in addition to their travel expenses they will also have gown/tux rentals, etc. If you have an attendant that this will be a major financial burden on, and you have the means, you might want to quietly offer to help with the travel expense.

Anne

 

[Kristi1357]

We had a Disney fairytale wedding in 1999. We also worried about our guests paying their way. Basically, we just invited close family and said right up front that we could not afford to pay their way, but would love for them to be there if they could do so. We did ask our parents and sisters if they would be able to come before booking our date. If they had said no, the wedding would have been at home. Once that was set, we invited grandparents, aunts and uncles. We also insisted that their presence was their gift to us. We ended up with about 30 guests and it was above and beyond what we dreamed for our day.

Kristi

 

[tastelikecandy]

We are getting married out of state as well. The way we have it planned is all of our closest friends are going to serve in the wedding and all of our family is going to stay at the same hotel. If we reserve a block of rooms they will give a discount. We are also letting the family come along on the honeymoon if they like, only it another resort of course. I have heard a lot of people who have destination weddings and then have the reception a week later. They get all dressed up in their clothes again and make their entrance just like any other reception. It is really up to you what is more important to you.

 

[Shannon G]

No additional input, except to say that I wish someone I know would have a WDW wedding - it'd give me the perfect excuse to go!

 

[s&k'smom]

I hope you have a wonderful day. When my friend got married at WDW none of us assumed she would pay for our trip. She had a wedding fund to have about a 25 person wedding party. It's funny her mother charged her brother rent for many years because he was in his 30's living at home and had a fantastic job. So when she decided to get married her mom was able to pay for it. Her mom did treat everyone to the HDD. And that winter she had a formal reception for all the friends and family who were not invited to Florida. I don't remember anyone saying anything, her mom was such a Disney fanatic actually no one was surprised!

 

[s&k'smom]

I hope you have a wonderful day. When my friend got married at WDW none of us assumed she would pay for our trip. She had a wedding fund to have about a 25 person wedding party. It's funny her mother charged her brother rent for many years because he was in his 30's living at home and had a fantastic job. So when she decided to get married her mom was able to pay for it. Her mom did treat everyone to the HDD. And that winter she had a formal reception for all the friends and family who were not invited to Florida. I don't remember anyone saying anything, her mom was such a Disney fanatic actually no one was surprised!

 

[s&k'smom]

I hope you have a wonderful day. When my friend got married at WDW none of us assumed she would pay for our trip. She had a wedding fund to have about a 25 person wedding party. It's funny her mother charged her brother rent for many years because he was in his 30's living at home and had a fantastic job. So when she decided to get married her mom was able to pay for it. Her mom did treat everyone to the HDD. And that winter she had a formal reception for all the friends and family who were not invited to Florida. I don't remember anyone saying anything, her mom was such a Disney fanatic actually no one was surprised!

 

[s&k'smom]

I hope you have a wonderful day. When my friend got married at WDW none of us assumed she would pay for our trip. She had a wedding fund to have about a 25 person wedding party. It's funny her mother charged her brother rent for many years because he was in his 30's living at home and had a fantastic job. So when she decided to get married her mom was able to pay for it. Her mom did treat everyone to the HDD. And that winter she had a formal reception for all the friends and family who were not invited to Florida. I don't remember anyone saying anything, her mom was such a Disney fanatic actually no one was surprised!

 

[SRUAlmn]

You can come to mine!
I'm such a dork, I don't even have my ring yet and I'm planning already. I know it's coming and I want to be prepared when it does Thanks for all the great tips. I knew we would have to plan way in advance, and I know we will probably have to get married in the summer since there are a lot of teachers in my family. I think maybe a reception when we get back wouldn't be so bad if we can still afford it. I also really like the idea of saying that coming was the gift. That way people won't feel over burdened with expenses. Lots to think about. I'll keep you updated, hoping I'm getting the ring on our Sept trip

Thanks

 

[DisneyDmbNut]

I'll be a seat warmer at your wedding!! LOL!

on a side subject - I watched the Food Network special too...I was FLOORED at how much that could cost..$2,500 for the coach ride from the GF to the WP!!! WOW!! and they said it was 75k for the one girls wedding, but that didn't include room, tickets, food not part of the wedding...wow! That is a GREAT downpayment for a house! As much as I would love to have a Disney Wedding, I think a small ceremony on the Poly beach "Poly" style would be nice and go home to my new house!

 

[EsmeraldaX]

My best friend recently got married on the beach in St. Thomas. I could not go, but I was invited. She went in knowing few people would be able to afford to go/get the time off.

But it was the wedding of her dreams. And though I wish I could have gone, I wanted her to have it and I would have thought it very rude if anyone said the bride was being selfish for having her wedding in a far away place.

She was sad I could not have gone, but she understood that money is very tight and I have no more time off from work to use.

Her mother & other relatives could not go either for medical and other reasons. His parents are both deceased although a few aunts and cousins went. Some of her other friends went.

A wedding day is primarily about the bride and groom. What THEY want is what matters. Whether it's a gala party or a small ceremony with a few close friends.

If you want a Disney wedding, then go for it. Just don't be angry at your friends and family if they can't afford to go or get time off to go.

 

[Shelle&Dave]

I also want to have a Disney wedding. Neither one of our families are well off, but I think if we gave them a year's notice they could save the money to pay their own way and hopefully turn it into a nice family vacation. I'm sure it would only be immediate family since neither one of us are very close to our extended families.

It is a hard decision to make. On one hand you want all of your family and friends to be there and on the other hand you want to have the wedding of your dreams. DFiance and I are still debating about this but in the end he always says to do whatever will make me happy.

I think if you gave people ample time to prepare and save then you should not feel bad if they are unable to make it to the wedding. This is YOUR day, not theirs. Always do what will make you happy. They can still share in the celebration if you have a big reception at home when you return.

 

[luvdisney81]

I missed the special!!! Does anyone know if and when it will re-air? I'm soooo jealous! As far as what to do. If you opt to not do the wedding, I saw on their romance package you can still do the carriage ride. Who says you can't show up to the park in your dress anyways and have pictures done? Just a thought.

 

[SRUAlmn]

It re-aired at 2am this morning. The website also says that a Food Network show about Disney Weddings will aire on June 26 at 5:00pm and June 27 at 4:00pm. Not sure if these will be the same episode, or not. I would assume it will be, but if not, who cares! I am sure it will be great whatever it is