Wedding Present Problem..

[rachel09985]

I know there is a lot of these going on right now but..

I am in my friends wedding next week. I live in Minneapolis, she lives in NYC but the wedding is in Cleveland Ohio.

Long story short I will be spending like $900 for everything involved in being in the wedding (Dress+Alterations, Flight back to Shower/Bachelorette Party, Gas to drive back to Wedding). Do you think it is appropriate for me to not give a big wedding gift?

I am thinking of a tangible gift around $20. I am sure she wouldn't be offended if I didn't give a lot because she understands that I have already spent a lot of money.

Does anyone have ideas on a sentimental gift that doesn't cost a lot?

 

[Shanna-like-Banana]

When I was a Bride, I expected nothing from my attendents.

I had 1 maid, and she was re-wearing a dress from another friends wedding. Perfect color match, and she looked great in it.

She did help out a lot and put in lots of hours helping with errands, driving here and there, planning, organizing, etc. She ended up taking several days off of work, so for that, I was super thankful

If you'd really like to still get them a gift, Perhaps purchase something that could be used for the wedding. Cake knife set, toasting glasses, garter, etc.

If I were you, I'd say something like " I'd love to get your cake knife set, as my wedding gift from me to you"

 

[Leigha]

I'd go with a photobook from Shutterfly or somewhere else with pictures of the two of you, then the showers, then the wedding etc. Paper Coterie also makes a nice memory box that I've made with wedding photos to keep wedding momentos in. Look for coupon codes for each!

 

[libinatorsmom]

You can do a lot for little money! A keepsake for them. Go to a store that will engrave a small silver or glass frame with there names and date of the wedding... or maybe classes or something... just something fun like that. and something meaningful... or do something thats special between you and her - like if you grew up together if there was a movie you guys liked or a food. a box of that is awesome just have fun with it... and no a large gift is never a MUST

 

[Elleshoodat]

I think it's generous of you to give even a small gift. DH and I got married here in Southwest Florida, where we live, a few years ago, and most of our family and friends had to travel from out of state - including all of our attendants.

Some of our guests who had to travel didn't give us gifts, which we were perfectly fine with. It meant more to us to have our loved ones there than it would have to receive a gift from them.

 

[Darcy03231]

Okay, I know this is going to sound weird, but here's my suggestion and why.

One of those rechargable flashlights that plugs into the wall so it's always charged. You can get them at Home Depot, Lowe's or any other hardware store.

I was married in 1990 and one of ex-DH's father's friends (who was on a very limited income) gave us one as a wedding gift. I thought it was kind of odd, but sent a very nice thank you note.

The marriage ended in 1997 and I still have that flashlight and bless that man every time the power goes out! I always know right where it is and its always fully charged.

Honestly, I really can't remember who gave what that day, other than that wonderful flashlight.

 

[tar heel]

Darcy - I'm going to file that away as a shower present gift.

When DH and I got married 30 years ago, we received a small cooler full of random stuff like paper plate holders and refrigerator magnets. The random stuff is long gone, but I'm sure we've used that cooler 1,000 times. On short trips, it holds the water and soft drinks. On longer trips, we take additional beverages and refill it, adding ice at the hotel. I can't imagine how much money it's saved us. The funny thing is that we didn't use it for several years and I almost sold it at a yard sale!

 

[v.t.]

My new favorite gift idea, (stolen from Pinterest) forks that are engraved with "I do" and "me to", for when they feed each other wedding cake. Or, you could go on to Pinterest and look for a wedding craft you could make for your friend.

 

[brymolmom]

How about buying a nice frame and matte and framing the invitation yourself?

Maybe even write in script on the back something mushy about being such a good friend and thanks for asking me to be a part of this special celebration of love. And sign and date it.

 

[SC Minnie]

One of our most used wedding gifts was a large Land's End tote. We have been married 20 years and still use this for a beach bag. It has held up extremely well over the years.

Another thoughtful one someone gave us was our wedding invitation framed. The person put some additional embelishments on it and I still treasure it.

 

[The Wise One]

.

Another thoughtful one someone gave us was our wedding invitation framed. The person put some additional embelishments on it and I still treasure it.

This! Ours also has a spot for one of our wedding pictures. So it's a wedding picture next to our invitation. It's been on our mantle for nearly 3 years now and I still love it!

 

[Soulsearching]

My new favorite gift idea, (stolen from Pinterest) forks that are engraved with "I do" and "me to", for when they feed each other wedding cake. Or, you could go on to Pinterest and look for a wedding craft you could make for your friend.

What a cute idea!!!! Love it!

 

[Fire14]

I love the beach tote bag idea. THings I've done are laundry or trash can and fill with various things for BR or kitchen. My parents stole idea from me and did it for our wedding gift. WE got laundry hamper filled with Laudry soap, towels, Toliet bowl cleaner, a toliet brush, rugs, shower curtain etc. Than they decided to do kitchen too so We got trash can full of trash bags, all purpose cleaner, sponges, serving/cooking utensils, set of steak knives.

 

[LJSquishy]

Even a small wedding gift will be much appreciated! I have been on both sides (the bride, a matron of honor, and a bridesmaid) so I know how those expenses rack up. When I was a bridesmaid, I gave a $30 wedding gift from their registry. When I was a matron of honor, it was my sister's wedding so I did buy an expensive gift, but she also paid for part of my dress, paid for my shoes, & paid for my hair to be done.

While a few of the sentimental gifts are thoughtful, I would stick to purchasing something from the bride and groom's registry. Surely they have items in the $20 range and you know it is something they want & will use. Most people wouldn't appreciate receiving their framed wedding invitation. I don't know anyone who would put something like that on their wall. If the couple is starting out from scratch, practical things can be grouped together to make a "themed" gift, but I would definitely stick to items on their registry.

 

[momof2twinboys]

I don't remember getting gifts from many of our attendants - maybe 2 out of 12

Everyone had to travel and take a day off because it wasn't in our hometown and we had the rehearsal on Friday evening at 6

 

[bearloch]

When i got married My bridesmaid got me a wedding album and in the front few pages she had put a few old pics of us together as kids, teens, etc and a nice note still have all of it and i too can remember who gave it to me!!

another person had given me a note saying my gift was " coming" in a few weeks it was a album of candids that she took at the wedding dressing, ceremony, reception and even the next day when we got together to open gifts! it was a neat idea too!

 

[stephbillalec]

What about something personalized from a place like personalcreations.com
They always have discount codes and/or free shipping if you google.
I have given the Heart in Sand Framed Print a few times (but it's about $40 before any discounts). It's always been a big hit. That site has a ton of nice wall hangings.

 

[horseshowmom]

I'd go with a photobook from Shutterfly or somewhere else with pictures of the two of you, then the showers, then the wedding etc. Look for coupon codes for each!

That's what I was going to suggest too. My daughter did these as Christmas gifts for her grandparents after the got married, and they turned out beautifully. She used codes and got them for very little money (they looked pretty expensive too). I think Groupon or Living Social has a deal on them right now.

 

[Honeybell]

The framed invitation is a great idea. That's what my college roommate did and 18 years later it's one of my favorite gifts. It really came in handy when in my sleep deprived, breast feeding haze I blanked on our anniversary and needed to check the date.

Boat and Tote canvas bags from L.L. Bean are another favorite.

 

[littlebit0863]

When I was a bride I don't think any of my bridesmaids got me anything, except a headache with them fighting with each other. You are a good friend to consider anything. Are you talking about a shower gift or wedding gift? For the shower, I would do something small from the registry, or maybe talk to the other bridesmaids about going in together for a larger gift? Maybe even make up a funny skit or song for the bride? For the wedding, I would do nothing. Honestly, transporting the gifts from my wedding to the car was a huge pain in the butt. I blessed the people who got me cards. Oddly enough my favorite wedding gift was a fire extinguisher that someone shipped to my house. It's the only gift that I remember who gave it to me, because at first I thought it was weird, but then I ended up using it with one of my "new bride" meals and it turned out to be a lifesaver, literally!