Wedding Gift Amount Question for Nebraska Dis'ers

[mjbaby]

These kinds of questions always bring out the madness, but I'm afraid that I really need the help and am hoping that some of our Nebraska and/or Midwest friends can weigh in.

My husband and I are attending a family wedding in late spring in Omaha. The couple themselves are not really known to us, although we are quite close to the groom's mother. The service is Roman Catholic and the reception is a dinner dance-type.

Where we live in the mid-Atlantic region we would typically give $250-300 in this kind of scenario. How does that stack up for Nebraska?* I've never been to the Midwest and know that these kinds of things have different approaches in different parts of the country. I don't want to "undergive" for obvious reasons but also do want to "overgive" for particular family reasons.

What do you think? The Wedding Envelope website was not really helpful (wah!).

* Standard Disclaimer: Yes, it's the thought that counts. Yes, the amount you give should be based on what we can afford. Yes, the wedding is about the marriage. Nevertheless, for a variety of reasons, I wish to know more about the particular cultural approach in the part of the world to which I have never been. Your mileage may vary, penalty for early withdrawal, bake 20 minutes longer at high altitude.

 

[hffmnheidi]

I'm in Illinois and I gave my brother and sister in law $100 when they got married.

 

[SILLYANDI]

I have no input but your disclaimer made my day!

 

[merekc]

In Kansas middle class, I would think $100 for close family. If I attend a friend's wedding it is typically a $20-30 gift. This seems to be the norm that I have seen.

ETA: I should also point out that I'm always amazed at the expensive items that young kids are selecting for their wedding registry. I always think they are not living in the real world, but now I'm thinking maybe it is me! But in my defense, the high dollar items never seem to have been purchased.

 

[akcire]

The service is Roman Catholic and the reception is a dinner dance-type.

Okay. We live in IL in a high cost of living area, but I went to college in Iowa and also lived in NYC. So I have a good understanding of your issues. Near me $250-300 a couple is pretty normal, in Iowa you can buy a $20 toaster at JCPenny's and people are happy.

That said, I use the reception location as a deciding factor. If the reception is at a hotel or a banquet hall even in Iowa I just assume $200. If the reception is held at a VFW, K of C, Moose Lodge, etc--I generally give in the $100 range. Sort of a "cover your plate" midwest reality check. I am also more likely to include a trinket for a midwestern wedding along with the check. A personalized Christmas ornament for example.

Omaha is a strange-bird. There is a fair amount of money in Omaha, but think of it more like New England old money, and not flashy at all. The really great part about the midwest is if you give $100 or you give $300, most people won't care.


**As an aside Warren Buffet's favorite restaurant is Gorat's. If you have investor fan's like my husband, it is a must do while in town. It is cheap, and has ok food, but my husband was thrilled to eat there.

 

[MomRN]

Indiana- $50 for a cousin. Small ceremony, buffet type dinner.

$50-$75 is about right for friends/not close family, whereas $100-$200 on closer family.

Or at least that's what we give.

 

[weezyree]

Hello fellow Dis'er,

Omaha is entirely different than the rest of Nebraska. There is a lot of money in Omaha and the cost of living is not that much different than the mid-Atlantic. I was born and raised in Nebraska and am now an Army wife. Been and lived in both areas. While I think your amount of money is too high for many reasons, it sounds like your heart is in the right place.

One: You don't know the bride and groom but only through the mother, so to me that warrants less money given.

Two: The cost of living is a factor and as another Dis'er said, it should be determined on where the reception is being held. Sure, they can have a nice wedding at their church but then serve sandwiches at a KofC Hall they paid $200 to rent.

Three: You aren't paying for the wedding and if you were my guest and gave me that money I would be ecstatic, but it's unrealistic. Again, it's your heart that's speaking volumes.

Maybe find where they are registered if you haven't already and find a nice gift that's practical, considering the economy today and think of your fam as well.

If you are traveling there, consider the time and money you are spending in getting there.

Ultimately it's up to you, but your heart is in the right place! Good luck!

 

[mjbaby]

You are all such dears! Thank you for the info and advice. I appreciate the time you took to respond.

 

[ZachnElli]

Omahan weighing in, $100 is good, if you were real close to them I' d say $150. I disagree that cost of living here is comparable to the mid-Atlantic region. There are a lot more poor and middle class here than wealthy.