Wedding Food Issue

[dakcp2001]

There is a trend in my circle to not serve dinner anymore, the last few weddings I went to were "cocktail" weddings with just apps. They could be fun, but I wish I would have known before I went I would have had some dinner. Trust me when I say a bunch of people with empty stomachs drinking doesn't end well. People were out of hand and the older guests seem to dislike this trend.

 

[tlbwriter]

My SIL is having an all vegetarian menu for her wedding and I'm ok with it but I do think it's a bit rude & here is why. SIL, is always going on about how vegetarians have nothing to eat and how insensitive the world is to them, their beliefs, they way of doing things. OK, point taken, most people, myself included, bend for them, when SIL is around I make sure there is pasta available, no bigge right, ok then. Well, how come she gets to be self centered in her choices? How is it not ok for the rest of us to ignore them and it's perfectly fine for them to ignore the rest of us? Just saying...

But that's different. Omnivores can eat vegetarian food - it doesn't conflict with our beliefs or way of doing things. It's not the same the other way around. A vegetarian isn't ignoring me if they provide me with a tasty vegetarian meal. They're simply providing something that accommodates both of us.

 

[JessicaR]

No breads, cheese, or pastas. Salads (3-bean, german potato made with tofu "bacon"), hummus, baba ghanoush, tabouleh, lots of veggies and tofu dishes!

And no wedding cake!! That was most disturbing to me as I love wedding cake!!! Dessert was fruit salad.

I would have been fine but my husband would have wanted to leave and eat. He wouldnt have touched a thing on that menu. A salad or pasta would have been nice. What kind of wedding has fruit salad with no cake? What a let down.

 

[CurlyGirl]

You need to remember that not everyone likes vegetables! I love 'em. Other people don't.

 

[tvguy]

My daughter is vegeterian and we live with the nightmare of finding something for her to eat at events.
Unless you don't eat vegetables, I can't even imagine it being an issue that there was no meat.

 

[tlbwriter]

If they chose not to have something available for everyone

But, again, they DID have something that everyone could eat. Was it everyone's favorite dish? No. But complaining and/or ducking out to get "something better" is horribly rude, just as it would be horribly rude if the couple served a meat dish that wasn't your favorite.

 

[Bungle]

I would have been okay with the food. When I'm a guest I try to make due with whatever they have. However I can't imagine why they didn't have a cake. There are some fabulous vegan cakes out there.

 

[Lucille1963]

I've never met a human carnivore, but I do know quite a lot of omnivores

I honestly don't see what the big deal is. The couple (and perhaps their parents) are hosting and providing a meal. Either love it or at least pretend. I'm not really a fan of chicken or fish but I'll gladly push it around my plate and thank the host for inviting me and how much I enjoyed their hospitality.

I've had wonderful vegan food, and I've had terrible vegan food. In general, I'm just a bit wary of banquet food in general, vegan or not.

Additionally, the best wedding cake I ever had (besides my own) was vegan. On the shuttle bus from the reception back to the hotel the ladies were giggling about the extra take home boxes of cake they took. It was soooooooo good!!

 

[ksjayhawks]

But, again, they DID have something that everyone could eat. Was it everyone's favorite dish? No. But complaining and/or ducking out to get "something better" is horribly rude, just as it would be horribly rude if the couple served a meat dish that wasn't your favorite.

Beg to differ. I know a lot of people who would have gone hungry with that menu. There might have been some fruits or veggies that they would have eaten, depending on what they were.

If I am someplace and it is dinnertime and I haven't eaten, and there is nothing I would eat ( I would have eaten a few things, my dh would have eaten nothing), I would most likely say my good byes and leave early.

The hc can have a vegan buffet, but I think they need to make sure that there are things that the "average" person would eat. They could have added some breads or green salad with veggie toppings. If they changed for health reasons, why not offer pasta, bread and cheese to your guests?

 

[rchristiansen]

And no wedding cake!! That was most disturbing to me as I love wedding cake!!! Dessert was fruit salad.

We went to a wedding with Vegan-only food and they did have cake. I have a wonderful recipe for that type of cake and it's probably the best tasting cake around.

The food was really good from what I remember. I agree with what others said - anyone can eat vegan, but the same is not true vice versa.

 

[goofy!]

Other:

Not eating meat is a lifestyle choice, and it's rude to not include vegetarian options.

Those that DO eat meat don't eat JUST meat. So providing vegan choices aren't ignoring their dietary restrictions. Unless, of course, someone has a problem with soy or nuts or something.

It would have been nice if they took into account their guests that do eat meat, but it's not a necessity.

I voted "their wedding, their choice."

I don't think it rude for meat-eaters to not include vegetarian options. I would always include at least one vegetarian dish, but I don't see it as being absolutely necessary. A good host will always provide a great variety, but it is their wedding, their food bill, thus their choice.

To quote you "It would have been nice if they took into account their guests that do eat meat, but it's not a necessity." What is good for the goose is good for the gander, so "It would have been nice if they took into account their guests that are vegetarian, but it's not a necessity."

It would also be nice to serve a low-fat dish and a low-sodium dish for heart compromised guests, a gluten-free dish, a low-carb dish for diabetics, etc, etc, etc. But, if you start taking everybody's dietary restrictions into account, it can get crazy.

Personally, I never go to a wedding for the food. I go there to have a blast celebrating with the couple. They just as easily could have perfectly appropriate food, but ones that I just don't like.

I always eat before a wedding and there have been times we have stopped for fast food afterwards. It is the couple's day and I do not feel entitled to be catered too, especially since I am not paying for it. And no, my gift does not count for an "admittance fee." I absolutely detest veggies, but I am a big girl and would have paced myself on alcohol and had a great time despite not getting exactly what I wanted.

Most people aren't going to suffer if they go without food for a few hours. Those who would suffer usually carry something with them for emergencies. If one is really that worried about food choices that may be available, then put something appropriate in your purse.

So, while it would be nice, I don't think it rude or necessary for a bride to choose not to provide a dish for every dietary need that exists, vegan being just one of them.

 

[luvmy3]

I would have sucked it up and ate what was offered, however I am in the camp that believes if you are inviting people to an event, you should serve a menu with all of your guests in mind, and serving vegan food only, does not do that.

 

[Poohforyou]

I can't believe some of your family left a wedding to go drive through burger king or whatever. Holy cow, they couldn't have picked at a few things and stopped on the way home?

I am not much of a meat eater (just don't like it). However if I went to a party that was like meatpalooza I'd find a way to enjoy myself and cope with what was available to eat. So I don't see why the meat eaters couldn't do the same.

I'm sorry but if I were a vegan the thought of serving meat at my wedding would be really repugnant to me.

 

[tlbwriter]

Beg to differ. I know a lot of people who would have gone hungry with that menu. There might have been some fruits or veggies that they would have eaten, depending on what they were.

If I am someplace and it is dinnertime and I haven't eaten, and there is nothing I would eat ( I would have eaten a few things, my dh would have eaten nothing), I would most likely say my good byes and leave early.

But that's not because you couldn't eat anything. It's because you dislike the foods offered. I'd feel the same way at, for example, a buffet of spicy Indian food. But I wouldn't say the hosts were rude to not consider my needs.

So, really? Your husband wouldn't eat a single vegetable? You don't think that's a little childish?

The hc can have a vegan buffet, but I think they need to make sure that there are things that the "average" person would eat. They could have added some breads or green salad with veggie toppings. If they changed for health reasons, why not offer pasta, bread and cheese to your guests?

Because not everybody considers pasta, bread, and cheese to be healthy.

I agree that it would have been nice to serve something that the majority of the guests loved. Because that would be nice at any wedding. I just don't think this couple was rude to miss the mark.

 

[Poohforyou]

No breads, cheese, or pastas. Salads (3-bean, german potato made with tofu "bacon"), hummus, baba ghanoush, tabouleh, lots of veggies and tofu dishes!

And no wedding cake!! That was most disturbing to me as I love wedding cake!!! Dessert was fruit salad.

That's weird. Whole Foods makes lots of vegan baked goods and I bet there are other places around that do as well. Especially if it were a custom order for a wedding. I don't like a lot of the fake meat stuff either. It would have been really easy to make a few pasta dishes or have a pasta station with vegan sauces.

 

[FireDancer]

I'm not vegan but have friends that are and they all make very good meals. Some of them are the best cooks I know. I would have no problem at a vegan only meal and I surely wouldn't leave to go buy some fast food. I've tried a lot of vegetables I hadn't before because of my vegan friends.

Of course considering a lot of Americans think potatoes and corn are the only vegetables in existence (despite one not even being a vegetable) I'm not all that surprised someone would leave to grab processed garbage instead of trying something new. I also can't believe there are people who won't eat any vegetables. A specific one, of course, not none? How can anyone have a healthy balanced diet that has not a single vegetable in it? Vitamin tablets are a good supplement but not a replacement.

 

[ksjayhawks]

Is it childish for my dh not to eat a single vegetable?

It would depend on the veggies offered. He eats the basics--green beans, corn, carrots, etc but nothing "out of the ordinary". Just the way he is.

And if I dislike the foods that are offered, how could I eat anything? There are certain foods that I can't even pretend to like, right or wrong that is the way it is, and certain foods that don't set right with me and I suffer for eating them.

So, I would be polite and stay awhile and then leave. I wouldn't complain about it openly to anyone else who was there and neither would dh. We would just say our goodbyes and go home or out to eat.

 

[Conservative Hippie]

But, again, they DID have something that everyone could eat. Was it everyone's favorite dish? No. But complaining and/or ducking out to get "something better" is horribly rude, just as it would be horribly rude if the couple served a meat dish that wasn't your favorite.

I agree.

We do not drink alcohol at all, and our wedding was "dry." There were guests that took offense to that, and left to go to a bar and drink, and that was fine with me. Other guests were able to go an afternoon without alcohol in order to enjoy our day with us. Priorities, I guess.

It is possible to make a vegan cake, so maybe they didn't have one because they just didn't want cake, or maybe something happened to the cake and other arrangements couldn't be made. Last year I went to a wedding with no cake - no dessert at all. I thought it was strange, but I also wondered if something happened to the cake. Either way, it didn't "ruin" the wedding for me. After the bride and groom left the reception, a few of us went to a nearby restaurant and had dessert!

ETA: BTW, I don't eat anything with bones in it (no reason, just a quirk), and more than once I have been to a function where the main dish was fried chicken or ribs, and the only thing I could eat were the side dishes. No biggie, it's my problem, not their's. I am polite about it, and get something afterwards if I'm still hungry.

 

[goofy!]

But that's not because you couldn't eat anything. It's because you dislike the foods offered. I'd feel the same way at, for example, a buffet of spicy Indian food. But I wouldn't say the hosts were rude to not consider my needs.

So, really? Your husband wouldn't eat a single vegetable? You don't think that's a little childish?.

That is as childish as saying "Really, your daughter wouldn't eat a single piece of meat?" Being vegan IS a choice to live that lifestyle, just like detesting vegetables is somewhat of a choice, although it also has more to do with very real physical response to certain foods. Your daughter chooses not to eat meat, just like the quoted person's choice is to not eat vegetables.

Doesn't make the non-meat eater any more special than the non-vegetable eater.

Personally, I would be more concerned about providing meals for those who have medical requirements than lifestyle choices.

Do I always provide a vegetarian dish? Absolutely. At least to the best of my knowledge. Would I expect a vegan to provide a meat dish because I choose to live an omnivore lifestyle, absolutely not!

Leaving to go get food because you don't like what the hosts have offered, whether meat or vegan, is the only thing that is extremely rude.

 

[SaraJayne]

I wouldn't eat a single thing the OP listed in a later post.

But, it is their wedding and they can serve what they wish.

They also shouldn't be upset when guests leave very early and choose to eat elsewhere (which we would).