Wedding - DH won't get suit

[DizBelle]

It is because some people put far too much emphasis on clothing. I don't think what one wears has anything to do with the kind of person they are. In the workplace there are rules and sometimes people have to conform, in the regular world (which includes all events that I am not being paid to be at) I don't care one tiny bit what anyone is wearing and I don't let what others wear effect my choice. What someone wears has nothing to do with respect or how much you value the event you are at. It is just something that keeps you from being naked. Not wearing a suit doesn't say you don't care any more then wearing a suit says you do care.

Ok, so when cousin Luanne shows up at the next wedding, funeral, baptism, or graduation wearing a bikini and $1 flip flops from the drug store, you will have absolutely no problem with that whatsoever, right?

 

[C.Ann]

I don't think there's any one "right" answer for this.. It depends on the region; the venue; the expectations of the bride and groom; etc..

DD and her DH have a wedding to attend in July.. It will be a backyard wedding (a second wedding for both parties) and everyone has been advised that they are to wear shorts; tee shirts; sandals; or whatever else they feel comfortable in..

On the flip side of that, they also once attended a wedding (in Manhattan) where they weren't even allowed inside the hotel - during non-wedding hours - in anything less than a dress for my DD and DGD and dress pants, dress shirt, and a sports jacket for DD's DH..

They have also attended many weddings where the men wear a dress shirt and tie - along with a nice pair of pants - and no one sticks out like a sore thumb..

If I were the OP, I would call and ask the bride and groom what they prefer, relay the message to her DH, and then let him live with the consequences of his choice..

Good luck!

 

[luvmy3]

I realized that. The OP seemed to be asking what was appropriate dress for a wedding in my neck of the woods. A dress shirt and tie might make the cut for other areas of the northeast, or the country, but usually not here (where the wedding is).

But my comment was not to the OP, it was directed at a pp who stated that people outside of the NY or Northeast didn't understand that people dress up for weddings here. I was pointing out, that although dressing up very nice for weddings around NYC is the norm, its not always the norm for other places in NY State and the Northeast which is why people may not "seem to understand it"

 

[FireDancer]

Ok, so when cousin Luanne shows up at the next wedding, funeral, baptism, or graduation wearing a bikini and $1 flip flops from the drug store, you will have absolutely no problem with that whatsoever, right?

Nope. I care only about what I wear and no one else. If I am at an expensive restaurant and someone comes in to eat with a tank top and flip flops I am not one of those people who have just had their meal ruined by the attire of the people at the next table. The food will taste the exact same, good or bad.

Too many people worry about what other people do.

 

[DizBelle]

Nope. I care only about what I wear and no one else. If I am at an expensive restaurant and someone comes in to eat with a tank top and flip flops I am not one of those people who have just had their meal ruined but the attire of the people at the next table. The food will taste the exact same, good or bad.

Too many people worry about what other people do.

Geez, FireDancer. I either really agree with you or really don't... Makes for a fun discussion!

ETA: does it "ruin" my experience? No, not really. But it really disappoints me when I feel that people are not respectful of others. Lack of appropriate attire is a demonstration of that lack of respect.

 

[FireDancer]

Geez, FireDancer. I either really agree with you or really don't... Makes for a fun discussion!

ETA: does it "ruin" my experience? No, not really. But it really disappoints me when I feel that people are not respectful of others. Lack of appropriate attire is a demonstration of that lack of respect.

Nothing wrong with agreeing to disagree.

To be clear though, I wouldn't wear a tank top into a fancy restaurant and while I won't wear a suit to a wedding or funeral I also wouldn't wear a bathing suit or torn jeans, I wear a shirt and tie. I don't think people that wear a suit to these events are wrong, it just isn't for me in the same way that the torn jeans wouldn't be for me.

I just don't care what others do, provided it is legal, and I do think people attach way too much value to clothing. I don't look into the closet and think this shirt says I care for you and value your friendship while that shirt says I'm just here for the free booze.

 

[C.Ann]

I don't look into the closet and think this shirt says I care for you and value your friendship while that shirt says I'm just here for the free booze.

Love it!

 

[JessicaR]

I think in your situation I would go out and get a sports jacket. Bring it and I bet he wears it when the formal pictures are taken. You are family and will be in those photos so he needs a jacket at a minimum.

Is this an option? BTW - is it a daytime or evening wedding? Also wondering where the reception will be held - if you don't mind sharing!

 

[suzannen]

But my comment was not to the OP, it was directed at a pp who stated that people outside of the NY or Northeast didn't understand that people dress up for weddings here. I was pointing out, that although dressing up very nice for weddings around NYC is the norm, its not always the norm for other places in NY State and the Northeast which is why people may not "seem to understand it"

Nowhere did I ever imply that people in upstate NY dress the same as those in the Long Island, NYC regions., but all of my friends that live upstate have either attended NYC/LI/Jersey weddings or seen photos from them to better understand the elaborate wedding style that this area tends to have. I have 14 family members traveling from North Carolina, Tennessee, and Vermont to attend DD's wedding who will be astonished, even with all of my advance descriptions, because it's something none of them have seen firsthand. They are all excited about it and are buying new dresses and tuxedos. We all grew up on the one hour reception held in the church hall with ham biscuits, pimento cheese straws, cake and lime sherbert punch. Nothing wrong with that either - you just wouldn't see it here.

 

[luvmy3]

Nothing wrong with agreeing to disagree.

To be clear though, I wouldn't wear a tank top into a fancy restaurant and while I won't wear a suit to a wedding or funeral I also wouldn't wear a bathing suit or torn jeans, I wear a shirt and tie. I don't think people that wear a suit to these events are wrong, it just isn't for me in the same way that the torn jeans wouldn't be for me.

I just don't care what others do, provided it is legal, and I do think people attach way too much value to clothing. I don't look into the closet and think this shirt says I care for you and value your friendship while that shirt says I'm just here for the free booze.

Hey, I'm going to a wedding this fall and I'm thinking thats exactly what my dress says

 

[suzannen]

Hey, I'm going to a wedding this fall and I'm thinking thats exactly what my dress says

Okay, I think this thread needs photos!

 

[Missy1961]

I'm from LI, and I agree, suits are common for men. That doesn't mean that the guys are wearing the jackets all day--most guys wear the suit to the ceremony, then for any formal pictures & maybe during the cocktail hour. But once the dancing starts, most jackets are off.

That being said, it really wouldn't bother me if a guest at my wedding didn't wear a suit. As long as he's there, that's what matters to me. I probably wouldn't be happy if a guest showed up in a Yankee shirt & shorts because I'd be having a church ceremony & a party in a nice restaurant or catering hall.

 

[JaneBanks]

Sorry, answered my own question! lol

 

[LilyWDW]

I don't look into the closet and think this shirt says I care for you and value your friendship while that shirt says I'm just here for the free booze.

If your clothes are talking to you... then you need to skip the booze LMAO.

 

[KAMLEM]

wow.

Wow what? Geez.

Nope. I care only about what I wear and no one else. If I am at an expensive restaurant and someone comes in to eat with a tank top and flip flops I am not one of those people who have just had their meal ruined but the attire of the people at the next table. The food will taste the exact same, good or bad.

Too many people worry about what other people do.

I completely agree.

 

[Bob NC]

I probably wouldn't be happy if a guest showed up in a Yankee shirt & shorts

Totally agree. If they can't wear a Red Sox shirt, they should not leave the house.

 

[Missy1961]

Totally agree. If they can't wear a Red Sox shirt, they should not leave the house.

I would have said Mets shirt.

 

[Northstar]

Totally agree. If they can't wear a Red Sox shirt, they should not leave the house.

OP, have you tried telling your man how sexy guys in suits look to you? Or better yet, how totally sexy you find HIM in a suit?

Works with my hates-to-dress-up DH...

 

[Disney Doll]

I am in southwestern CT, so similar to the greater NYC/Long island area. Here, for a "traditional" wedding....church ceremony/banquet hall reception or ceremony/reception in a banquet hall...usually men wears suits or jacket and tie.

For a less "formal" setting...ie- a beach wedding, a backyard wedding which is more picnic-like, a barbeque style wedding...the dress will be less "formal".

 

[antmaril]

I think a grown man needs to own a suit.