Wedding blues...

[Jules~Marie]

So, we meet again Disboards...

It's been months since I had my wonderful, amazing, dream wedding at WDW. It's been 231 days to be exact. And I still can't shake the feeling of sadness that I feel when I look back at our time planning and leading up to the wedding.

Now, I know what everyone is going to say. Be thankful that I am married to such an amazing man and that I was able to have such a wonderful wedding. I am thankful. I cherish that day like none other. BUT, it was such an amazing experience, from beginning to end, that when I look back and realize it came and went so quickly, it leaves me feeling a little blue.

I am not as bad as I was when the wedding and honeymoon was first finished. I was really in a funk. I couldn't shake it. I didn't want to go to Disney on the weekend like we normally do. I was too sad and I couldn't stand the thought of seeing the wedding pavilion. My husband was worried, it's not like me to turn down Disney!

Part of my problem is that our wedding day was so rainy, I get sad thinking that we didn't have the exact experience that we were hoping for. Yes, we did get great pictures, and we did have the most amazing time that day, but it still would've been nice to have everything turn out the way we had hoped. I'm tired of saying, "even though it rained, it was perfect.". That is not true. I spent tons and tons of money, and I think I have a right to be disappointed that it didn't turn out as expected.

So, all my rambling on and on is basically just to let you brides planning your dream wedding now, know that you should cherish each day of planning. Embrace it. My husband and I were engaged for 1 year. It was the best year of my life. We rarely stressed about the wedding. We were on the same page abut everything, each detail we planned and researched together. I miss the HOURS we spent working on our newsletter. I miss designing our cake in photoshop. I miss putting together our welcome bags. I really miss delivering our welcome bags. My husband really didn't enjoy delivering them, but now he talks about that night, reminiscing about all the fun we had.

Our DJ played the Black Eyed Peas song "Time of my Life". We had said we didn't want that song played at the wedding, but my sister requested it. It turned out to be a great idea. Everyone got up and danced. Everyone. It really got the party started. Now, every time that song plays on the radio, my husband and I tear up. It's crazy!


Please, please, if you read this entire, ridiculous post, please take away from it that I loved my wedding. It was worth every penny. But, I think what makes me miss it so much is the fact that my husband and I were a team while planning for it. Every step of the way, every decision that was made, was made together. I see posts where people are stressing all of the little details, I've been there, and I won't say don't stress, because that won't be possible, but I will say just remember, while you're stressing out, that this is the best time of your life. I feel alone in this weird feeling of sadness and joy. I don't really know how to put it. No one really talks about what happens after the wedding. Everyone goes off into wedded bliss I guess...I would just like to relive that time over and over. Nothing went as planned, and yet it was absolutely perfect. What do I have to look forward to now?

Maybe a vow renewal in 5 years...

 

[DisneyShamrock]

Awww, Jules!

I still have most of the photos from your wedding pasted inside my planning binder. I have seen other brides say the same thing after their weddings, even ones not at Disney. I'm not much help dealing with this, since I haven't gone through the planning and wedding yet.

But, you could always start 'helping' friends and relatives plan weddings . . .

Or, you can start 'crashing' other DIS bride's weddings. Or, helping us get through the planning process.

There is also nothing wrong with a vow renewal.

 

[sambycat]

so that must make us.... like 228 days past??

i feel you - and i haven't been able to shake the boards 100% myself... don't know if that helps or hurts!!! Disboards - i can't quit you!!!

i too think about things - it makes my stomach curl that our food area was moved onto the whitehall patio so that our not-open-during-"cocktail"/pre-brunch-hour bar was sitting there in front of all our guests NOT serving them any champagne when it was going to be in another room not mocking them with my apparent cheapness!!!! and we did so many stupid things! wedding should have been monday, we should have had a day to relax before the honeymoon, should have sprung for late lunch at park faire (we got 2G back we could have afforded it in the end...)... sigh

and yeah, it was a team effort with focus! now i have turned into the home nazi. i live with 2 men whom i wouldn't trade for the WORLD but who have extremely different ways of living than i and basically i am a huge cranky person and everyone else in the world wakes up with sunshine and roses flying out of their butts, but not me.

you are not alone! we were in WDW 2 weeks ago - it was good going back - if you go it might lift a little of that sadness, seriously! i felt way better after going and things were wedding like in a good way!

 

[geek+nerd]

Jules,

You are not alone! We are 74 days post wedding, and I definitely can empathize. I miss all the planning! Some of it was stressful, but most of it was very fun.

I, too, am still posting here on the boards and will probably continue to do so. I need my wedding fix somehow!

I am hoping for a vow renewal at some point, too. DH asked me on our wedding night when we get to do it all again. I told him just to let me know and the planning can start!

Hang in there!

 

[tinkerbell 766]

Aww my sweet girls, I know exactly how you feel!! I am lucky in that I have very few regrets (if any), about how my day panned out, and the weather was very kind to us, but I still miss all the planning and plotting!!! I get little twinges of disappointment that it is all over when I look at our photos.
I guess, Jules, you are right in looking for things to be grateful for!! At least you can have a VR in a few years!! I don't think that I will get DH to agree to another for us, well, certainly not one like our recent fairytale!! I am secretly hoping for a very small one for or 20 years, maybe DCL with just us and maybe the children. . You are also very lucky in that you live in Florida and can visit our beloved WDW frequently. I would kill to live in Florida, and would drop everything here tomorrow for a chance to live near WDW!!! We have to save and plan for months for our trips there.
It is extremely hard post wedding/VR, that is so true, but I don't see me ever giving up these boards. I really enjoy following the other gorgeous brides and helping as and when I can. How sad am I!!!
Hang in there, my sweet girls!!!

 

[Bippi]

Its like wedding post partum! My friends joke that I too will have this! All the DIS Brides on here, past, present and future, are inspiration! My fiancee is also very involved with the planning and we are truly planning it together. Searching to buy a house keeps me distracted now in the "down time" part of planning but I am hoping nesting after the wedding will help pass the post wedding blues!

 

[belle2211]

I totally feel you! I am little better now, we've been married for 85 days. But I still have the blues. It was really bad before. I'm local so we go to disney all the time and park at the WP to get to MK. And I sigh and tear up when we park now. Honestly, before the wedding, I didn't cry one single time. I cried tons of times AFTER the wedding..so backwards!

For me, it's not missing the planning. Since I'm one of those girls who knew exactly what they wanted, but didn't want anything DIY, I didn't really have too much planning right before the wedding. I think it was more "I waited 30 years for the day, and it was perfect and now its over." So sad! But luckily I've convince DH to do a 10 year VR (or at least he's saying it's okay now just to make me feel better!)

We should all do a post-wedding meet up sometime. Maybe that will help kick those blues!

 

[weedee]

Our wedding was over year ago and I STILL think about all the fun we had planning...my depressed "zomg my wedding is over" stage eventually faded away but I still love coming on the DIS to see how much fun future Disney brides are having in their own wedding planning. I figured I can at least impart some Disney wedding wisdom, which helps me remember all the fun we had planning our own wedding!

 

[Jilian]

I'm sorry to hear about the post-wedding blues. I'm dreading it. I have to say that I'm really happy that all of you still pop in from time to time to share your Disney wedding wisdom with those of us still in the planning stages. Thanks ladies!

 

[DisneyShamrock]

Ok, I'm not a scrapbooker, but I totally plan on scrapbooking the HECK out of our wedding. I've already bought almost all of the cute Disney wedding embellishments.

We could start a wedding scrapbooking thread. It would give you something to do to keep you busy, and it involves the amazing weddings you had. Plus, you could all share photos of what you come up with.

 

[Ember]

Aww, I'm sorry you are feeling blue. I never had those feelings, but I can sympathize, if not empathize.

My life went a topsy turvy after my wedding. My husband was accepted into his PhD within a week after we got got home, and a few short weeks later he was across the country. I still joke that things really are different when you get married - before the wedding I lived with him, then we got married and I lived with a room mate! Two years into his PhD my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer, my husband came home that day, and we moved in with my mom and cared for her for the next nine months. In coping with her death I took off to South Africa to volunteer for a month that summer. A year later we moved to Australia and now here I am. I'm hoping to take off volunteering again shortly, this time to China and we are planning our 5 year anniversary to be in Tokyo Disney. I haven't really had time to miss planning a wedding in all that's happened!

4 years later I still check these boards and enjoy seeing other people plan. I quit the other wedding board I was part of, but this one keeps my interest for some reason. These boards are welcoming, and no one makes me feel odd for hanging around, even though my wedding was over four years ago.

I loved every minute of my wedding day, but I don't really want to do it again. DH keeps talking about a vow renewal, and I may give in one day, but I don't feel the need for one. There's nothing wrong with wanting to re-live something happy, though, and to miss all that went into it. I think that's normal.

 

[BecBennett]

Just chiming in to agree

I think my issue is more that my holiday was full of wedding and guests and being sick and making sure everything all went to plan, and I didn't get to really sit back and enjoy any of my time there. So now it feels like I had all this planning, but I missed the holiday

So now I'm desparate for a holiday, and there's not one in the forseeable future

These weddings seem to cost a bit of money...

I'm never going to quit the Dis, where else would I get my Disney fix from?

 

[FloridaDreaming]

I don't post over here much. Your post is very touching.
I'm planning our DFTW for February 2012. I'm doing a lot of stuff myself. I just finished designing, printing and stuffing the wedding invitations. Silly but, I miss doing them so much. Each time I finish a product, I get really excited, and a little sad at the same time.
I am having very little stress or the problems some brides are having with their planners and such. My planner has been wonderful when I've needed her. I'm very lucky. So, this part has been great as well.
I know I'll be having the blues after the wedding. Without a doubt. I've learned how to do so many things during this experience that I'm considering a side business after the wedding. Hopefully that will continue to keep me busy.

Thank you for this post.

 

[AshleyM202]

I totally agree! My wedding was 9 months ago and I still have a little bit of the blues! Mine aren't necessarily from missing the planning but rather I was so wrapped up in the details and my expectations of the day that I didn't take a deep breath and just enjoy! I had a lot of family drama during my wedding and I didn't feel like the day was focused around me and my new hubby! And I admit that I am having a hard time letting go of that resentment! The entire day seemed like an out of body experience and it was just different than what I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong...it was a wonderful wedding but after all the planning and drama I wish it would have just been the two of us! I don't think I will ever be able to stop following the boards! I may even do a vow renewal in the future just to give me an excuse

 

[Handbag Lady]

Well, I'm no help. My wedding is almost 11 years old and I like to check in here from time to time just because I miss the planning so much. Disney weddings sure have changed in those 11 years.

 

[Deb loves Disney]

This thread hit home for me too!!! I was so excited during the planning process and really happy and kind of in a dream-like state on our wedding day. But then.....it's all over, it was a huge blur, you just realized that you have spent all of this money that you now have to pay back!

I just looked at my signature and it has been 277 days since our wedding, holy cow where did the time go! There were things that happened on my day that I am still wondering why I hadn't forseen or tried to change in advance or even tried to pre-plan for. One of the biggest dissapointments was that I didn't even get any pictures of my children with just the four of us. Why wasn't I more pro-active?? I can look back now and think, what was I thinking, but on the day I wasn't thinking, everything literally just flies by and happens so quickly.

The updates happening around the wedding pavilion are also making me sad because I know that I will never be able to go there again and see it like it was on our wedding day. I know this shouldn't bother me but it does, lol.

It does get better though. Life moves on and other things happen in life that make us forget about the "What if's". I also frequent this board on the dis because it was my obsession during the months of planning for our wedding and I just can't give it up. A few weeks ago I went hunting for my old wedding trip report and literally could not find it. It was buried into oblivion, lol...this made me sad too