Wedding and Reception on a Military Base Question

[Mrs. Ciz]

My kids are in their 20s now. A lot of DH’s work and golfing buddies are just a couple years older than us. Many of them are in the middle of planning weddings for their children. DH and I are listening and taking mental notes when they talk about the planning and the costs and when we attend their children’s weddings because we’ll be there ourselves in a few short years. With college almost over, we figure we’d better start saving a little for the next phase in our kids’ lives.

DH’s dad was career Air Force (active duty and then reserves). He retired a few years ago with full military benefits. He loves staying in base housing when he travels and enjoys all the other benefits as well (like Shades of Green! He took DH’s sisters’ family there once). So my question is this: can he sponsor a grandchild's wedding at the local Army base, which has an outdoor pavilion, a gorgeous ballroom and full catering facilities? I know he’d do it in a heartbeat if allowed. If he can, it will go on our list of possibilities.

 

[brockash]

We're military and I'm not positive. I would assume so, however you'd want to think about the logistics of getting all your guests on base.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

My kids are in their 20s now. A lot of DH’s work and golfing buddies are just a couple years older than us. Many of them are in the middle of planning weddings for their children. DH and I are listening and taking mental notes when they talk about the planning and the costs and when we attend their children’s weddings because we’ll be there ourselves in a few short years. With college almost over, we figure we’d better start saving a little for the next phase in our kids’ lives.

DH’s dad was career Air Force (active duty and then reserves). He retired a few years ago with full military benefits. He loves staying in base housing when he travels and enjoys all the other benefits as well (like Shades of Green! He took DH’s sisters’ family there once). So my question is this: can he sponsor a grandchild's wedding at the local Army base, which has an outdoor pavilion, a gorgeous ballroom and full catering facilities? I know he’d do it in a heartbeat if allowed. If he can, it will go on our list of possibilities.

That would be a question to be directed to the specific base. I'm not sure, unless the grandchild has a more direct military connection, it would be allowed, but you never know until you ask.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

That would be a question to be directed to the specific base. I'm not sure, unless the grandchild has a more direct military connection, it would be allowed, but you never know until you ask.

The information on their website says the venue is available to military members (active and retired) and their families. I just don’t know how they define family.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

The information on their website says the venue is available to military members (active and retired) and their families. I just don’t know how they define family.

GENERALLY, it's immediate (spouse, children, parents) family. But it could vary.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

GENERALLY, it's immediate (spouse, children, parents) family. But it could vary.

Thanks. I might call and ask. I don’t want to mention it to my father-in-law because he’d get sooooo excited. And then if the kids picked other venues, he’d be very disappointed.

 

[gotomu212]

You should ask a lot of questions before booking. Specifically what is their procedure for access (I’ve been to several base weddings and at each every attendee was checked against a list at he gate and had to provide ID)? Are you in a state where Real ID is an issue and how do they handle that? Also ask what their procedure is if there’s an elevated security threat and the base is closed to visitors (this can vary by location but it is possible for a base to lockdown against visitors during elevated risks and it would be horrible if that happened the day or week of your wedding).

In my experience typically you don’t get married on a base unless one of the spouses are military (or a parent is higher up in the command) and typically most guests are military or spouses. It would be unusual to see a wedding where the majority of people (and those in the wedding party) weren’t military.

 

[DLgal]

If would be a huge logistical nightmare, if it would even be allowed. My husband is career military currently at 21 years. I have never heard of a wedding being held on base.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

I have never heard of a wedding being held on base.

Never? Both my sisters were married on military bases (dad was Army, retired, deceased). Two different ones.

 

[DLgal]

Never? Both my sisters were married on military bases (dad was Army, retired, deceased). Two different ones.

Post 9/11 or pre 9/11?

 

[PrincessShmoo]

Post 9/11 or pre 9/11?

Hmm... had to think about it - pre.

OK, did some looking around and found this:
Eligibility — All active-duty and retired service members, National Guard and reserve service members (while on active duty), and dependent children of active-duty or retired military service members are generally eligible to use the chapel for wedding ceremonies. Ask your local installation chaplain office for specific requirements.
https://www.militaryonesource.mil/f...itary/military-chaplains-and-wedding-services
So, depending on what military base, it might be possible, as long as one of the participants (bride or groom) qualifies..

 

[jen7233]

I've been to several on base/post military weddings both overseas and stateside. One or both of the people getting married in every case was active duty, though. Call the place you are considering a wedding and reception at. Contact the post chapel there to see what their requirements are (you didn't mention who they are considering officiating the ceremony-using the chapel, or do you just want to use the mentioned center?). Contact the other facility, likely what you describe as a ballroom/outdoor pavilion is a community center, depends on the post, which may be run by the Morale, Welfare, Recreation (MWR) they will probably be able to tell you the point of contact, if it's not run by MWR. They will also have particular rules on what sort of function/organization can use the facilities and the cost.

 

[Southernmiss]

I see a civilian family without an active duty close relative seeking a wedding on a military installation as presumptuous and entitled.

There's a lot of security time and personnel that would have to be used on those getting married and attending the wedding. Frankly, as a taxpayer, I would not want to see our resources go to that.

Many more non military installation places to get married that can be as meaningful to the couple.

We've got a dozen close family members who are military or retired military. Only my sister married her active Navy husband on post.

 

[Christine]

I see a civilian family without an active duty close relative seeking a wedding on a military installation as presumptuous and entitled.

There's a lot of security time and personnel that would have to be used on those getting married and attending the wedding. Frankly, as a taxpayer, I would not want to see our resources go to that.

Many more non military installation places to get married that can be as meaningful to the couple.

We've got a dozen close family members who are military or retired military. Only my sister married her active Navy husband on post.

Well, the grandfather of the potential bride/groom is retired military and has access to these facilities. I know my best friend got married at the Ft. Belvoir Officer's Club. Her soon-to-be father-in-law was the club member and he was able to sponsor the couple in the club. I believe in the 1980s, laws were passed that said these types of clubs had to be self-supporting so no tax dollars go to them. In that regard, whether it be an O club or NCO club, I wouldn't see an issue with using them and there's probably no problem in doing so. Rules change all the time, so it's best to check. As I said, these clubs are self-supporting so they would probably welcome the revenue from a wedding and if there's a member willing to sponsor, I don't think they get all that particular about it.

 

[Southernmiss]

Well, the grandfather of the potential bride/groom is retired military and has access to these facilities. I know my best friend got married at the Ft. Belvoir Officer's Club. Her soon-to-be father-in-law was the club member and he was able to sponsor the couple in the club. I believe in the 1980s, laws were passed that said these types of clubs had to be self-supporting so no tax dollars go to them. In that regard, whether it be an O club or NCO club, I wouldn't see an issue with using them and there's probably no problem in doing so. Rules change all the time, so it's best to check. As I said, these clubs are self-supporting so they would probably welcome the revenue from a wedding and if there's a member willing to sponsor, I don't think they get all that particular about it.

Yes, but as stated and quoted from a direct military site up-thread, grandfather is not a close enough relative.

There are many military bases located near my area and getting onto them is tough for non-military people, as it should be.

Husband's father was retired military and we did have a rehearsal dinner at the NCO club in 1990. I wouldn't presume that to still be an option for a grandparent to do for a grandchild. After 9/11 security has changed.

Does OP even have a child soon getting married? Usually, it's the bride and groom that seek out the venues and plan and coordinate things. Son got married 2 years ago. We discussed ideas on a rehearsal dinner venue and then visited them. Ultimately, it was my son's choice for the venue. We just paid for it. He and his wife decided on the place to get married and the place for the reception.

A quick Google search brought up this guide on weddings on base from Eglin AFB in Florida https://www.eglin.af.mil/Portals/56/documents/pdfs/Wedding Booklet Eglin.pdf?ver=2017-08-10-133806-377

And this...Army--
Fort Meade Maryland-https://www.ftmeade.army.mil/staff/chapel/wedding_docs/Wedding_SOP_Sept16.pdf
General Information: A wedding ceremony at Fort George G. Meade, Maryland is a sacred event and should be understood as a religious service of the worshipping community. The Historic Main Post Chapel is one of the finest chapels in the United States Army and the Argonne Hills Chapel Center is spacious for large crowds. It should be understood that military club systems and chapel weddings have no denominational affiliations. Weddings at Fort Meade chapels will not be scheduled to accommodate reception plans. Our goal is to make the chapels easily accessible to as many authorized users as possible. The procedures set out in this document must be followed fully, so please read them carefully. If you have any questions about scheduling your wedding, call (301) 677-6035. a. Persons Authorized to use the Chapel*: - Active Duty military personnel and their dependents with valid ID card - Retired military personnel and dependents with valid ID card - Reserve components personnel on Active Duty * EITHER THE BRIDE OR THE GROOM MUST BE A DOD ID CARD HOLDER
c. Post Access: Post Access is controlled and managed directly by the Visitor Control Center (VCC) and not Fort Meade Chapel Staff. This is a separate but required process and it requires a great deal of time, effort, and planning. All VCC guidance must be strictly followed for a wedding to be held at a Fort Meade Chapel. Moreover, all VCC requirements must be met for BOTH the wedding rehearsal and the actual wedding ceremony. An example VCC Event Request Form and Instructions are available on our website. A courtesy copy of these lists must also be delivered to the Chapel Scheduler. The VCC can be contacted at: Demps Visitor Control Center 902 Reece Road 7:30 a.m. to 6 p.m., Monday to Friday (301) 677-1064 or (301) 677-1065 http://www.ftmeade.army.mil/directorates/des/vcc/vcc.html

 

[smiths02]

I would "family" would only be for people who are eligible for a military ID:
Lawful spouse, un-remarried surviving spouse, unmarried children (including adopted or stepchildren) who are: under 21 years of age, over 21 but incapable of self-support (documentation is required), over 21 but under 23 who are attending an approved learning institution as a full time student (documentation is required).

ETA: Wouldn't planning be difficult? Your kids wouldn't really access to the base at all unless grandfather was there because they don't have military ID. Would grandpa go to all wedding planning events?

 

[ColoradoDisneyFreaks]

You really have 2 different questions. The first would be if a child would want to get married in the chapel rather than another facility like the Officers/NCO club. That looks like it's not possible, the second may be possible were your father to host as he's the member, but the logistics of getting all of the guests onto the base would be a LOT more trouble than it's worth.

Neither I nor my husband are military, but pre-9/11 we did get married at the Air Force Academy, but not in the chapel. That thing's HUGE and unless you have 500 guests, it looks empty for a wedding so we got married outside the officer's club. My father is retired Air Force. None of our guests were military, but at the time the Academy was an open base, it isn't one any longer.

 

[lorenae]

Getting on a military base without a military (or spouse/dependent) ID is tough. Getting on a list, etc, is cumbersome for everyone involved. IF it would even be possible, it would be a logistical nightmare. The base may have rules as to how many "friends" can be on a list, if they can even be allowed in. I'd forget this idea.

 

[disneyhand]

My Son and DIL had their wedding ceremony and reception on a local (and very scenic) military base in 2012 using my Father's military service. My father was 83 at the time with Alzheimer's/ Parkinson's/ Dementia and other than me providing them with his social, he was never involved with the planning. He was a proud guest though, all decked out in his uniform and medals. I made all this info clear from the start and they didn't seem to have any problems accommodating our situation.

Everything turned out wonderful and was much more affordable then other comparable locations/ catering. We had to turn in a guest list a couple days before to get our guests thru the secure gates.

Edited to say that the venue had indoor and outdoor space, including a grassy area where the ceremony was held. It was very doable to plan, I was the contact as my Son and DIL were not local, but I did need to be very organized and strategic with planning visits and guest lists.

 

[luvsJack]

Wouldn’t have a clue about most military bases. We were all way under marrying age when Dad retired and never even considered it.

But I live close to a training facility/base for the National Guard/Army. And people do have events out there all the time. Dil’s parents just had their vow renewal there. They have some really nice facilities out there.

For there, they have a guest list and everyone gets a badge to get on site beforehand. I don’t think they provide anything except the badges that are checked at the gate.

The only thing is dates have to be when there isn’t any out of state groups out there training.

It’s the same at a NASA site that Dd works at.