I did read your trip reports in one sitting. I can't imagine LIVING through it.
There were a few things that came to mind...
I thought about how much ACTUAL time alone did you have with your husband?
I can't imagine how your son must have felt; believe me, children DO pick up on their parent's feelings.
Quite a few times you had wished you were back at home; away from MIL. Clearly, that intention PURELY stated your TRUE feelings; ie; you DID NOT want her along.
You've shared with us how a lot of us feel inside: we feel guilty if we don't take our in-law's, brother, niece, etc.
And yet, deep in our hearts, we know we'll be miserable. In that one moment of decision, with guilt, your WHOLE vacation was dictated. Not just for you, but for your husband, your son, and yes, even your MIL. Can you truly say she was happy? Of course not. I don't have a clue what would make her happy.
What is clear is this: she manipulates your husband. THOROUGLY. And she does, to you to an extent. Your son is just an afterthought to her. That's bad, I know. You give her the power over you; you play catch with her. She controls your feelings, your intentions, and your reactions. We have all been there, we're all human.
I think it's safe to say that this trip is an indicator of some MAJOR character defects. I'd be more concerned about your husband, than your MIL. You DON'T have to live with her for the rest of your life. Your husband shows through his behavior the INABILITY to stand up to her. She loads so much guilt on this guy.
He needs to find it within himself to say: ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. Not for you, not for your son, but for him.
And good god, look out when he tells that to his mother. The world will end. (we can all theorize her reaction) and most likely, he will cave in.
Your MIL is your cross to bear, as well as your husband's. I would suggest writing EVERYTHING, and I mean, everything down about the way you feel about your MIL, what she's done, how you've reacted. Get it all out. Sit down with someone and see YOUR part in it. Be THOROUGH. And then, let it go.
Your husband? Well, he has to figure that one on his own.
Good luck
There were a few things that came to mind...
I thought about how much ACTUAL time alone did you have with your husband?
I can't imagine how your son must have felt; believe me, children DO pick up on their parent's feelings.
Quite a few times you had wished you were back at home; away from MIL. Clearly, that intention PURELY stated your TRUE feelings; ie; you DID NOT want her along.
You've shared with us how a lot of us feel inside: we feel guilty if we don't take our in-law's, brother, niece, etc.
And yet, deep in our hearts, we know we'll be miserable. In that one moment of decision, with guilt, your WHOLE vacation was dictated. Not just for you, but for your husband, your son, and yes, even your MIL. Can you truly say she was happy? Of course not. I don't have a clue what would make her happy.
What is clear is this: she manipulates your husband. THOROUGLY. And she does, to you to an extent. Your son is just an afterthought to her. That's bad, I know. You give her the power over you; you play catch with her. She controls your feelings, your intentions, and your reactions. We have all been there, we're all human.
I think it's safe to say that this trip is an indicator of some MAJOR character defects. I'd be more concerned about your husband, than your MIL. You DON'T have to live with her for the rest of your life. Your husband shows through his behavior the INABILITY to stand up to her. She loads so much guilt on this guy.
He needs to find it within himself to say: ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. Not for you, not for your son, but for him.
And good god, look out when he tells that to his mother. The world will end. (we can all theorize her reaction) and most likely, he will cave in.
Your MIL is your cross to bear, as well as your husband's. I would suggest writing EVERYTHING, and I mean, everything down about the way you feel about your MIL, what she's done, how you've reacted. Get it all out. Sit down with someone and see YOUR part in it. Be THOROUGH. And then, let it go.
Your husband? Well, he has to figure that one on his own.
Good luck
