WBRepo-Ship of Thieves-Remember the Magic Pt 20

[HollyTyler]

I cannot believe that he is so dense. What a huge PUTZ!!! Why doesn't his wife tell him that's not a good idea for Tyler. What is wrong with the both of them. Good thing you have documentation and doctors records to prove your side. He should have to pay your legal fees if he loses his position. I would request that from the court....considering you are a single parent with a single income and he makes more than you. Tuff! That's only right.

His wife fully agrees with him, of course. She told me, before Tyler started kindergarten, "Well, you'll never convince me that's a good school district and I don't think he should go there." I told her "Thanks for your opinion, but you have no say in it. It's between me and his dad." She's never mentioned it to me again, LOL! Good point about requesting that he pay my legal fees. Thanks! Especially since his income is 3 times mine.

 

[HollyTyler]

Anyway.....on a happier note, Tyler called me tonight to talk and he's so excited about me taking him out to try to sell more popcorn next week! He talked to his scoutmaster last night and learned he's earned a $60 gift card so far for what he's sold so far and wants to sell MORE! LOL! Part of me says "UGGGHH!!!" I'm tired of it and it's exhausting, etc., but I'm happy to do it because that's what parents do. He's already picked out what he's going to buy with his gift card, LOL! And I told him I convinced a friend tonight to take an order form to work with her next week and she thinks a few people will buy. Working every angle I can!

 

[EllaEnchanted]

He's had his sights set on this other district because it's a high income district. No offense to anybody who is well off, but he's a snob. I know plenty of people with higher incomes who are not, but he IS. His whole family is. His employers and his whole family live in the district where he wants to move. I have nothing against higher income families or with schools that have more money coming in, but I don't agree with schools whose demographics offer no diversity. We live in Lansing, which is a very diverse area. White people are the minority. I grew up going to a school with NO minorities, all white, but I feel that if Tyler is growing up in a city where we are the minority, he should be exposed to greater diverisity. The school district where Chuck wants him to go is about 98% white.

Maybe I'm backwards, but I want him to grow up with multiple cultures around him because that's what our world is. In fact, because of our neighbor Loie, and Tyler learning a lot about Egyptian (Loie's mom) and Saudi cultures (Loie and his dad), and also a bit of education about the Muslim religion, he was able to befriend a Muslim child over summer break who wasn't eating much lunch because he was fasting during Ramadan. Tyler was able to tell him, "Oh yeah, I learned about that from my neighbor" and be friends with him when other kids were teasing the boy. We need to learn diversity in today's world.

OK.....off my soapbox now. I sincerely hope I didn't offend anybody.

I couldn't agree more. I'm embarrased to live in a neighborhood that's all white without any diversity. I lived in NYC and John works in Newark. We are used to mixed cultures. I think that's an important lesson for Tyler. My mom raised me and my brother that way and I think that it's important for everyone to be aware of.

I find it impossible to think that you could possibly keep up with putz. You are a single mother with one income. If putz is not careful the judge will give you full custody and he will have to pay child support with visitation rights on weekends. That's what putz deserves because he's not putting Tyler's needs first.

 

[HollyTyler]

I couldn't agree more. I'm embarrased to live in a neighborhood that's all white without any diversity. I lived in NYC and John works in Newark. We are used to mixed cultures. I think that's an important lesson for Tyler. My mom raised me and my brother that way and I think that it's important for everyone to be aware of.

I find it impossible to think that you could possibly keep up with putz. You are a single mother with one income. If putz is not careful the judge will give you full custody and he will have to pay child support with visitation rights on weekends. That's what putz deserves because he's not putting Tyler's needs first.

I would love having full custody, but wouldn't want Tyler to lose time with his dad permanently. He loves his dad just as much as me. There's just no easy answer.

 

[EllaEnchanted]

Yup, PUTZ is right! All I can do is just let Tyler know that he has a right to let both of us know how he feels and we will do our best to work it out. I do have to say his dad honestly does think he's thinking of Tyler's best interests. And I'm grateful that he is still civil about everything so far. Neither of us ever says anything disrespectful about each other to Tyler and neither of us ever tries to put Tyler in a tug of war, so he's a lucky kid in that regard. I'm doing the best I can to counteract all the stupid stuff Chuck does and I KNOW Tyler realizes that from comments he makes, such as "My dad always says he will do____________ but never does, but you always do it with me." That's just one example, but you get the point. I just hug him and tell him being a parent is hard, nobody really has the right to say who's a better parent, and that we both just try to do what we each think is right.

You are a great mom and his dad is just a putz and the older Tyler gets the more he's going to realize that. His dad is a fool if he thinks he can get away with the same stuff that he did when Tyler was too small to know better. Tyler should talk to him and tell him how he feels.

Also, Tyler is old enough for the judge to ask him directly how he feels about things. Let the putz beware.

 

[EllaEnchanted]

His wife fully agrees with him, of course. She told me, before Tyler started kindergarten, "Well, you'll never convince me that's a good school district and I don't think he should go there." I told her "Thanks for your opinion, but you have no say in it. It's between me and his dad." She's never mentioned it to me again, LOL! Good point about requesting that he pay my legal fees. Thanks! Especially since his income is 3 times mine.

OMG she's more of a snob than he is. They deserve each other but they are not thinking about Tyler. There's no room for snobbiness and bias when you're trying to teach a kid. Those are things you don't want him to learn.

 

[EllaEnchanted]

Anyway.....on a happier note, Tyler called me tonight to talk and he's so excited about me taking him out to try to sell more popcorn next week! He talked to his scoutmaster last night and learned he's earned a $60 gift card so far for what he's sold so far and wants to sell MORE! LOL! Part of me says "UGGGHH!!!" I'm tired of it and it's exhausting, etc., but I'm happy to do it because that's what parents do. He's already picked out what he's going to buy with his gift card, LOL! And I told him I convinced a friend tonight to take an order form to work with her next week and she thinks a few people will buy. Working every angle I can!

He's working so hard and he's doing so well. I'm so glad he knows he has to earn it and he does. AND you are a great mom to give him every opportunity to do so.

 

[HollyTyler]

Jan, I submitted the request form for more information on the Visiting Angels employment website. Thanks so much for the suggestion!

 

[EllaEnchanted]

I would love having full custody, but wouldn't want Tyler to lose time with his dad permanently. He loves his dad just as much as me. There's just no easy answer.

I understand, his dad will always be there....but he just may not want to spend as much time with him. The judge may ask him and he may answer that. You can't tell him how to feel. Let it be. I know you're trying to be fair for Tyler, but maybe that's not what Tyler wants. It doesn't mean he loves his dad any less, it just means that he doesn't want to live his lifestyle.

So if it becomes an option, don't fight it. Tyler can see his dad still, but he may want to spend most of his time living with you.

 

[HollyTyler]

You are a great mom and his dad is just a putz and the older Tyler gets the more he's going to realize that. His dad is a fool if he thinks he can get away with the same stuff that he did when Tyler was too small to know better. Tyler should talk to him and tell him how he feels.

Also, Tyler is old enough for the judge to ask him directly how he feels about things. Let the putz beware.

Thanks Deb! The only thing is Tyler is such a sensitive kid, he never wants to hurt anybody's feelings, so he will never tell his dad how he feels. Even though I mentioned it to his dad, when he dad talks to him, Tyler will probably not admit it because he doesn't want to make him feel bad.

OMG she's more of a snob than he is. They deserve each other but they are not thinking about Tyler. There's no room for snobbiness and bias when you're trying to teach a kid. Those are things you don't want him to learn.

Yup, but they think their way is right. Tyler will have to come to his own conclusions. I've noticed though, that he tends to lean more towards my opinions on most things. Not everything, but most. And I'm always careful to tell him that my opinions aren't "right", just as nobody's are really "right", because we all have the option to feel the way we each think is right, and I try to explain to him why one person might feel a particular way and why another person might feel the opposite, so he can learn that differenct circumstances and life experiences can mold a person's beliefs. Trying so hard to give him the ability to form his own beliefs. He's such a smart and logical kid, he's doing just that. I have to be careful though.....don't want to turn him into a politician, LOL!

He's working so hard and he's doing so well. I'm so glad he knows he has to earn it and he does. AND you are a great mom to give him every opportunity to do so.

Aw, thanks Deb, but I'm just trying to give him every chance to do whatever he deserves/needs to do.

 

[EllaEnchanted]

Jan, I submitted the request form for more information on the Visiting Angels employment website. Thanks so much for the suggestion!

Fingers crossed for you....hope it works out.

 

[HollyTyler]

I understand, his dad will always be there....but he just may not want to spend as much time with him. The judge may ask him and he may answer that. You can't tell him how to feel. Let it be. I know you're trying to be fair for Tyler, but maybe that's not what Tyler wants. It doesn't mean he loves his dad any less, it just means that he doesn't want to live his lifestyle.

So if it becomes an option, don't fight it. Tyler can see his dad still, but he may want to spend most of his time living with you.

Oh, I wouldn't fight it. I'd be happy to give up my "free days". Sure, I love the break when he's gone, but I hate losing half his life even more. I'd love, love, love it if he wanted to be with me more! So maybe a court battle will be the best thing to happen. Time will tell.

 

[HollyTyler]

I have to apologize for filling up the pages here! I disappear for long periods and then.....WHAM!!! Heeeeeere's Holly! Went out with Jan and a former co-worker Lori tonight after work and Lori bought me beer, so I'm a bit....um......wordy tonight!

 

[EllaEnchanted]

Thanks Deb! The only thing is Tyler is such a sensitive kid, he never wants to hurt anybody's feelings, so he will never tell his dad how he feels. Even though I mentioned it to his dad, when he dad talks to him, Tyler will probably not admit it because he doesn't want to make him feel bad.

I can understand that. It's a shame though because Tyler has needs and they are not being met by his dad and unless he tells his dad, he will never get those needs fulfilled. He is a sweet boy for caring though.

Yup, but they think their way is right. Tyler will have to come to his own conclusions. I've noticed though, that he tends to lean more towards my opinions on most things. Not everything, but most. And I'm always careful to tell him that my opinions aren't "right", just as nobody's are really "right", because we all have the option to feel the way we each think is right, and I try to explain to him why one person might feel a particular way and why another person might feel the opposite, so he can learn that differenct circumstances and life experiences can mold a person's beliefs. Trying so hard to give him the ability to form his own beliefs. He's such a smart and logical kid, he's doing just that. I have to be careful though.....don't want to turn him into a politician, LOL!

He is a brilliant child and with you teaching him to draw his own conclusions.....he will do just fine. BEWARE, no politicans allowed!!! hahaha!!!



Aw, thanks Deb, but I'm just trying to give him every chance to do whatever he deserves/needs to do.

You're making up for what he's not getting from his dad. He will turn out to be a fully balanced and fair person who cares about others. That's not too shaby.

 

[EllaEnchanted]

Oh, I wouldn't fight it. I'd be happy to give up my "free days". Sure, I love the break when he's gone, but I hate losing half his life even more. I'd love, love, love it if he wanted to be with me more! So maybe a court battle will be the best thing to happen. Time will tell.

Everything happens for a reason and if his dad does not want to work it out with you then the judge will decide for him. Whether he likes the outcome or not, he will have to live with it. Good Luck!

 

[EllaEnchanted]

I have to apologize for filling up the pages here! I disappear for long periods and then.....WHAM!!! Heeeeeere's Holly! Went out with Jan and a former co-worker Lori tonight after work and Lori bought me beer, so I'm a bit....um......wordy tonight!

I don't think anyone on here is going to accuse you of that. We just want to keep the thread going and our friends to keep coming here to express themselves and talk about things that cannot be posted on FB.

 

[HollyTyler]

You're making up for what he's not getting from his dad. He will turn out to be a fully balanced and fair person who cares about others. That's not too shaby.

That's my goal! He's an awesome kid. I've been trying to tell him that although it's great that he doesn't want to hurt anybody's feelings, he does need to speak up regarding his own feelings because his needs are important. He's learning and is stronger than he used to be, in that regard.

Funny story regarding the politician comment: I bought this house when he was 3 and we moved in 3 months before he turned 4. While he was still 3, we went for a walk through the neighborhood and he wanted us to introduce ourselves to everybody who happened to be outside on our street because he said "It's important to know our neighbors". Yes, that's right, he was only 3 when he said that, LOL! So we did. We met tons of neighbors that day on our walk. 2 houses down was an older man named Mel, he was in his late 80s back then. Mel was sweeping his front porch and Tyler walked up his sidewalk (with me following), stuck out his hand to shake and said "Hi, my name is Tyler, we just moved into the yellow house right down ther." Mel was tickled pink and told me "You have a future politican on your hands!" Yup, that was 3 year old Tyler!

 

[HollyTyler]

Everything happens for a reason and if his dad does not want to work it out with you then the judge will decide for him. Whether he likes the outcome or not, he will have to live with it. Good Luck!

Thanks! Chuck is dumb enough where he has no clue about this.

 

[EllaEnchanted]

That's my goal! He's an awesome kid. I've been trying to tell him that although it's great that he doesn't want to hurt anybody's feelings, he does need to speak up regarding his own feelings because his needs are important. He's learning and is stronger than he used to be, in that regard.

Funny story regarding the politician comment: I bought this house when he was 3 and we moved in 3 months before he turned 4. While he was still 3, we went for a walk through the neighborhood and he wanted us to introduce ourselves to everybody who happened to be outside on our street because he said "It's important to know our neighbors". Yes, that's right, he was only 3 when he said that, LOL! So we did. We met tons of neighbors that day on our walk. 2 houses down was an older man named Mel, he was in his late 80s back then. Mel was sweeping his front porch and Tyler walked up his sidewalk (with me following), stuck out his hand to shake and said "Hi, my name is Tyler, we just moved into the yellow house right down ther." Mel was tickled pink and told me "You have a future politican on your hands!" Yup, that was 3 year old Tyler!

YES he is!!!!! Only 3 years old. WOW!!!! What an awesome kid. I can't wait to see what he grows up to be. He can do anything he wants. He will succeed. Awesome kid!!!!

 

[EllaEnchanted]

Thanks! Chuck is dumb enough where he has no clue about this.

My cousin always told me that half the time he didn't agree with his ex, but he didn't want to rock the boat so he compromised and let her have her way. There were times when he needed it and she compromised for him and let him have his way. They both just helped each other.

Putz is dumb enough not to do that for Tyler's sake, then let the chips fall where they may. Everything for a reason.