My first cousin Shlomo called me today. All of my family is in NY, except for my sister who is in Texas.
He started the conversation by telling me that he didn't go to our first cousin Judy's unveiling today. "Unveiling?" I said. "I didn't know that she died."
He said, "She had lung cancer."
I said, "Nobody told me she had cancer."
It was quite a surprise. She contracted cancer 4 years ago and no one told me. She must have died at least 8 months ago (if the unveiling was today, the soonest it can be is about 8-months) and no one told me.
I know I'm not the most familial person, but I would have thought that someone would have told me that my first cousin died.
I called my sister to tell her. Nobody had told her either. Judy was either 8-months older or younger than my sister. I think 8-months older.
I'm not offended at not being told. After all, everyone had more on their minds than me, and I am pretty distant from the family. But as I told Shlomo, even though I'm distant, blood is blood. I do care.
It's so sad. In the age order, Judy was near the top of the age range for the first cousins. I'm second from the bottom.
You know, I just realized that my parents fated me to be different from the rest of the family, espcially when I think of the names:
Manny, Judy, Sherman, Leah, Shlomo, Helene ...... What kind of name is Ian for a Jewish boy from Brooklyn?
Any hoo, it does sadden me, that the first of the first cousins has passed away. Judy was terribly sweet in her way.
I do have a very nice story about Judy. As you may or may not know, Jews name babies after the deceased (never the living).
When I was born, there was no one to name me after. Everyone who had passed away had been named.
My mother always liked my aunt Esther's father, Judy's grandfather. She thought he was a sweet, gentle and kind man. He died right before I was born. My mother thought that it was a shame that he was unnamed, and so, my parents gave me the Hebrew name of Yitzchak or Isaac in English. My mother thought that Esther's father, Judy's grandfather was too sweet a man to go unnamed. I was named after a very nice man, even though he was not a blood relative.
A couple days before my mother died gave birth to a little girl. My mother died and would be unnamed because there would be no children from either my sister or I to name them after her. Judy's daughter named their little girl after my mother, and carries her Hebrew name, Rachel. It was really a kindness and completed a circle in that I was named after Judy's grandfather, and Judy's grand daughter was named after my mother.
Kindness has a habit of coming full circle, doesn't it?
We actually have a pray to say when one hears that someone has died:
"Baruch dayan ha'emet"
Which translated into English means, "Blessed is the Judge of truth."
Unfortunately Ian's for Thanksgiving is a no-go
Hate it! My car is dying a slow death, so I need to decide whether to invest in repairs or bite the bullet and buy a new one. My car is a 1997 and has been a great car...but I think the time has come...
Will you "fix" my Oct dates please
I will actually be arriving on Oct 15th and returning home on Oct 25th . Thanks
It must be firmly embedded in your subconscious.
I always wished I had been Melanie, but really it is such a dainty name it would never have suited!
