way OT - I think I have a drinking problem

[copwife92]

BTW, if you are not religious and its the religious aspects of AA that are turning you off, there is a group called secular sobriety that operates in some cities. They are web searchable.

Thank you, I looked into secular sobriety but there are no chapters near here. I ordered a couple books from Amazon, Sober for Good: New Solutions for Drinking Problems -- Advice from Those Who Have Succeeded, and How to Quit Drinking Without AA. I hope they help.

Thank you for every-one's support and good wishes. I would like to use this forum as a "crutch" if that's okay.

 

[PrincessAtta]

If you think there is a family pattern here, a good book to try is "It will never happen to me" which deals with children of alcoholics who become, of all things, alcoholics themselves. This book is very enlightening.

The AA Big Book is online here: http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_tableofcnt.cfm so you don't have to buy it, but maybe you can check out the tenets before you give up on AA.

I was going to recommend exercise, but you got there on your own. You might just end up replacing one addictive behavior with another, but at least it will be a healthy one.

For the sake of your child and your marriage, please find something, anything, that works.

Good luck.

 

[Sandy321]

Thank you, I looked into secular sobriety but there are no chapters near here. I ordered a couple books from Amazon, Sober for Good: New Solutions for Drinking Problems -- Advice from Those Who Have Succeeded, and How to Quit Drinking Without AA. I hope they help.

Thank you for every-one's support and good wishes. I would like to use this forum as a "crutch" if that's okay.

I dont mind - but do check out the WISH forum here on the DIS - esp since you want to get healthy (WISH = We're Inspired to STay Healthy) they have a forum for online journaling - so start a journal and post every day - I walked today... Its hard to get up today...

dont give up on YOU!

YOU ARE WORTHY!

 

[crisi]

Thank you, I looked into secular sobriety but there are no chapters near here. I ordered a couple books from Amazon, Sober for Good: New Solutions for Drinking Problems -- Advice from Those Who Have Succeeded, and How to Quit Drinking Without AA. I hope they help.

Thank you for every-one's support and good wishes. I would like to use this forum as a "crutch" if that's okay.

I wish those chapters were more common than they are. The religious aspect of AA scares a lot of people away (although all AA meetings are different and some are much less concerned about how you define 'higher power' than others.)

I'm about to send you a PM.

 

[stego]

but I went to an AA meeting and hated it
What EXACTLY about the meeting did you hate? Without more information, none of us can help you. Personally I can guess but I don't think that will help you.

I am tired of lying to my husband about my drinking
you are NOT the first to lie to someone about drinking.

and I want to stop.
it all begins with the desire. Try to remember not to get too far ahead of yourself. There is really a reason why they say "one day at a time". For many, many people it truly is one minute at a time, one hour, etc. You get the idea.

Any advice that doesn't involve going to meetings would be appreciated.
There is a reason why meetings work. It was explained to me that only another alcoholic can understand one another. That is not to say you won't run into personalities. I can honestly say I can't think of one other place that has more personalities. That would be a HUGE turn-off.

 

[brymolmom]

He knows, he found my hidden alcohol...again. I'm afraid this might be his breaking point, he has threatened to take our daughter and leave me. He is very angry, and not supportive right now and I don't blame him. I want to change and am hoping that it starts today. I will not drink today.

With a child involved - you need more than books online and 'trying'. Suck it up for your daughter and get to a meeting - EVERY DAY!!! Most of us would go through torture for our children if we had to do so - look at it that way - enduring the meeting for the well being of your daughter (and so dh doesn't take dd away).

 

[Kallista]

I went to AA when I was 24. I can't tell you what you should do. I don't know what is going to work for you. I can tell you what worked for me, and I can point you at some resources outside of AA that might help.

What I did: I went to AA. AA saved my life. I mean that literally. When I got to my bottom, I hated my life and I wanted to die. I prayed for a cross-town bus to kill me. I had no money so I didn't go to treatment. I just went to AA meetings. I found some friends in AA and hung out with them and took their advice and did the steps. I have 16 years sober in 4 days. (My "birthday" is June 6.)

I've been to lots of meetings all over the country. There are meetings that I love and plenty of meetings that I hated. I never found a meeting that I loved on one try, though -- it always takes me at least a few weeks to decide if a meeting is a keeper or not. It might help you if you hunt around and try some different meetings.

Other resources that could help you:

If you want no meetings at all, check out Rational Recovery.

If the whole AA thing turns you off, you might want to try a different support group. If you can find a Lifering meeting in your area, they can be helpful for the non-religious or atheists or agnostics out there. If you want a woman centered support group, Women for Sobriety is very helpful. If you're really Christian, Christians Victorious might help you.

You'll probably get better advice by asking on a different board than this one. Check out the forums at http://www.soberrecovery.com/

I recommend reading everything you find on recovery. There are several books that I recommend to people. Check out these:

The Recovery Book (very good for very early sobriety)
The Addiction Workbook
Rational Recovery: The New Cure for Substance Addiction
Nice Girls Don't Drink: Stories of Recovery
The Zen of Recovery

 

[Stasieki]

I so feel for you right now. My family went through this 15 years ago. My parents were married for 32 years. My mom didn't start drinking until she was in her 40's, hid the alcohol, etc. My dad was at his breaking point with it. The only think that worked for my mom was detox in a hospital, then a 30 day overnight program. I am happy to report that she has been sober for 15 years and has never relapsed. I am sad to report my parents didn't make it. My dad still divorced her. Now, he is happily remarried, and my mom wishes things would have been different - maybe if she would have gotten help sooner, etc.

I remember them trying to fix the problems without the children finding out, but it all came to a head. I am SOOOOOOO proud of my mom and know that first year was tough on her. Really, the hardest part was the 30 days. Then, it was lots of counseling. We did do some family counseling, but I don't think enough. I really think my parents would have made it if we would have gotten the whole family involved with her recovery. Of course, I'm not sure how old your DD is (I was the youngest at 15 at that time).

Be very proud of your self for reconizing the problem.

 

[RMulieri]

I went to AA when I was 24. I can't tell you what you should do. I don't know what is going to work for you. I can tell you what worked for me, and I can point you at some resources outside of AA that might help.

What I did: I went to AA. AA saved my life. I mean that literally. When I got to my bottom, I hated my life and I wanted to die. I prayed for a cross-town bus to kill me. I had no money so I didn't go to treatment. I just went to AA meetings. I found some friends in AA and hung out with them and took their advice and did the steps. I have 16 years sober in 4 days. (My "birthday" is June 6.)

I've been to lots of meetings all over the country. There are meetings that I love and plenty of meetings that I hated. I never found a meeting that I loved on one try, though -- it always takes me at least a few weeks to decide if a meeting is a keeper or not. It might help you if you hunt around and try some different meetings.

Other resources that could help you:

If you want no meetings at all, check out Rational Recovery.

If the whole AA thing turns you off, you might want to try a different support group. If you can find a Lifering meeting in your area, they can be helpful for the non-religious or atheists or agnostics out there. If you want a woman centered support group, Women for Sobriety is very helpful. If you're really Christian, Christians Victorious might help you.

You'll probably get better advice by asking on a different board than this one. Check out the forums at http://www.soberrecovery.com/

I recommend reading everything you find on recovery. There are several books that I recommend to people. Check out these:

The Recovery Book (very good for very early sobriety)
The Addiction Workbook
Rational Recovery: The New Cure for Substance Addiction
Nice Girls Don't Drink: Stories of Recovery
The Zen of Recovery

Quite and accomplishment and you should be proud.Way to go!!

 

[kacaju]

My Dad hit rock bottom when my Mom kicked him out of the house and changed the locks. He went into a clinic for a month and then had to get an appartment at first. I don't remember how long he was gone for, but he did end up coming home and never drank again.

You can do this... it will be hard, but you can do it!!

 

[LuvBaloo]

He knows, he found my hidden alcohol...again. I'm afraid this might be his breaking point, he has threatened to take our daughter and leave me. He is very angry, and not supportive right now and I don't blame him. I want to change and am hoping that it starts today. I will not drink today.

You are taking action and that's a great start! It sounds like your DH threatening to leave and take your DD away has got you motivated. This idea may not work, but I'll throw it out there anyway. Would putting a picture of DD in your wallet, and where you hide your alcohol help remind you not to buy/hide it?

 

[missmun52]

I would suggest talking to your doctor about this choice, you may be able to get help through an out patient clinic.

Alcohol is not something you can generally stop cold turkey depending on the level of your addiciton.

There is medication that can be given to you to help you. Sometimes it is better if we get help from others in order to make it. If your husband is still with you then you have to have faith that if you take the first steps in controling your addiction he will support you.

I am a student and just learned about addiciton and so I am by no means a professional but I think with the help of your doctor, and going to AA meetings you can overcome if you are serious.

I suggest you find another group and even if you dont like going to it for whatever reason, you keep going for your self.

edited to say:
I would suggest that you involve your husband because the support of loved ones can be just as important as anything.

 

[mdsouth]

Thank you, I looked into secular sobriety but there are no chapters near here. I ordered a couple books from Amazon, Sober for Good: New Solutions for Drinking Problems -- Advice from Those Who Have Succeeded, and How to Quit Drinking Without AA. I hope they help.

Thank you for every-one's support and good wishes. I would like to use this forum as a "crutch" if that's okay.

You are now on your way to recovery! Admitting your problem is the biggest step. My prayers are with you today and each day.

The people here are offering good advice. Please consider their suggestions. And please keep posting to let us know how you are doing.

Jogging with a friend sounds like a fantastic idea!

 

[RMulieri]

I would suggest talking to your doctor about this choice, you may be able to get help through an out patient clinic.

Alcohol is not something you can generally stop cold turkey depending on the level of your addiciton.

There is medication that can be given to you to help you. Sometimes it is better if we get help from others in order to make it. If your husband is still with you then you have to have faith that if you take the first steps in controling your addiction he will support you.

I am a student and just learned about addiciton and so I am by no means a professional but I think with the help of your doctor, and going to AA meetings you can overcome if you are serious.

I suggest you find another group and even if you dont like going to it for whatever reason, you keep going for your self.

edited to say:
I would suggest that you involve your husband because the support of loved ones can be just as important as anything.

I agree with speaking with a Dr. They can prescribe medication to get thru the withdrawal and antabuse for once you are thru it.You can not consume any alcohol on antabuse since you get violently ill doing so

 

[TracyMags]

Hi acopswife,
I am sorry that you are going through this and I applaude you for trying to get help. I am a nurse and I have had many patients trying to detox. I want to also refer you to your doctor. Please call him as soon as office hours begin in the am or sooner if you think it necessary.

It can take up to 72 hours sometimes before someone begins to feel the effects of withdrawl. Some of the beginnning things are a feeling of fullness in your head, sweating, increased heart rate, hearing or seeing things that aren't there, anxiety and hand tremors which are are very common. These can progress very quickly into DT's or seizure. In the hospital you are given ativan to help you through this and it is very common that people need this help. Please dont hesitate to get help if you need it. Go to the hospital tonight if you begin to feel like this, they can also help you get additional help. You will be treated with care and respect.
Finally, I would recommend that you begin to look into outpatinet clinics tomorrow if you do not need help with initial withdrawl. Most PCP's do not know of all of the programs and it is up to the person to do the leg work. Find the numbers for the clinics and call ALOT. If they say call at 9am, call at 8, 9, and 10. Keep calling until they let you in. Often these places have long lines and the weed people out by how hard they try to get in.

I also want to say that as an adult child of an alcoholic, Please stop for your child. If she isn't affected yet, she will be soon.

Goodluck to you,
Tracy

 

[Kae]

As others have said find another AA meeting talk to some about what you are liking/getting from that meeting. I am sure that someone will help you find a group & it could take going to a few. Check with your local Hosiptal for out patient services. Also check with your insurance you might have some aid for services.

I wish you well on your journey.

Kae

 

[copwife92]

I am not an everyday drinker, but I am a binger. I stopped drinking for 30 days and thought I could begin drinking more responsibly. Nope, I can't have just a couple of beers because 2 will quickly turn into 12.

 

[hopesmommy]

Based on your ID, I am assuming you are a wife of a police man. My DBIL is a police man and he had someone that he could talk to with the department. This may be another option for you.

You say you did not like the AA meeting you went to. Think of it this way...Which do you like least the meetings or what being a drunk is doing to your family. I don't mean to be rude, but you need to face facts.

I hope you find help soon. It will be hard work, but it is SO VERY worth it! Because you are worth it. If you need to start doing it for your family, great anything to get you started, but you must continue for yourself.

 

[Sandy321]

I am not an everyday drinker, but I am a binger. I stopped drinking for 30 days and thought I could begin drinking more responsibly. Nope, I can't have just a couple of beers because 2 will quickly turn into 12.

Again, you are very brave to post - you dont need to answer, or become defensive - its ok - you do need to be active in your health... you posted your dh found your hidden alcohol, dont try and lesson the problem, you are standing up and trying to change... we cant do it here - you have to do it there!

 

[drinkme]

You need to do this for your family. My dad was an alcoholic, and died an alcoholic. His drinking made my childhood a living hell. My dad has been dead for almost 20 years and I still don't know if I'll ever forgive him or my mother for how we lived.

I don't even like alcohol in my house. It does nothing but ruin lives.

You may not drink every day now, but if you don't get a handle on this soon, you will be one of "those" kind of drinkers.

I know it will be hard on you, but you can do this! Just keep on thinking of what your life will be like when you are no longer dependent on alcohol.

Good luck. We'll all be praying for you.