Watching a (metaphorical) train wreck unfold

[Kathryn Merteuil]

To day 2025 has been a bit of a crazy year to say the least. Seems like this stuff runs in cycles.

Anyway, I found out that a family friend of ours is "dating" a celebrity.

A little background.... she is mid 50's, her brother passed within the last couple years, cancer survivor, her mother passed earlier this year, and in late 2024 she got divorced. I am not quite sure what happened with that, she said that they were having a quarrel and her husband told her it was over, and walked out (literally) in the middle of the night and called somebody to pick him up, and they haven't been together since. Literally the next communication they had was divorce papers. To say she has had a really rough go of it the past year is an understatement. She is anything but rich, however her 80 year old father is remarkably wealthy.

Friday morning, I found out that she is "dating" a B, or maybe C list celebrity. This "celebrity" is kind of what you would call a "has been" from like 1980's television. She said she met him ONCE when she was going to college in Tennessee back in the early 90's. NOW they have "reconnected".

Here is where the story seems to unravel, but she does not see it:

This "celebrity" is married. (however he tells her that they are getting divorced) In fact he was TRICKED into marrying her in the first place. Said something about he thought it was the plot for a TV show or movie, and they accidentally ended up being legally married. They are still making public appearances and stuff, and live in the same home, but they are getting divorced, and he is going to marry our friend.

He has asked our friend NOT to post on any of his social media accounts, because this relationship has to stay a SECRET.

He said do not believe a word that is posted on his own social media because his wife is the one who controls it. Of course do not believe anything you see on his wife's social media because she is a liar.

He has sent her a diamond necklace as a gift already (I am guessing it is something he got from Temu). He also orders pizza for her (and her father) for family dinner nights because he cannot be there in person as he is off doing these celebrity things.

Of course she will NOT answer the questions.... HAVE YOU ACTUALLY SEEN THIS GUY IN PERSON since you "met him once in college? and JUST EXACTLY HOW DID YOU RECONNECT?

*this also explains a situation that happened with her banking that got her account frozen due to "potential fraud" just recently. She did not tell us the whole story at the time, but she was so angry that she got her account frozen.... and advised to just leave the bank because of a mishap with a check. She said that she sold somebody an expensive item, deposited the check..... she SAID the check was good, and then turned around and bought another expensive item. Come to find out the check was not actually good, and her dad had to kick in the funds to straighten her account out.

Come to find out... she sold an item (which she would not name) to somebody in a far off state that was a "friend" of this "celebrity". She then turned around and bought this expensive autographed guitar as a gift for her "new celebrity boyfriend". We wondered why she would buy such a thing.... come to find out, this is why.

She insists this is REAL. We are trying to tell her that this is 100% a scammer. We are looking for a way to have some kind of "intervention" w/o it seeming like an intervention. To me she is a textbook victim here and all of this is textbook scam. Unfortunately, DH actually seemed to believe the story at the beginning. I was like NO this is painfully obvious.

 

[Disneefun]

I don't know how to help your friend, but it's 100% a scam. Someone in our local area ended up on the news with the same thing after she finally figured out she wasn't "dating" Morgan Wallen. But the texts of the scam were almost exactly what your friend is posting. Married, getting divorced, met him once, yada yada.

 

[OrangeBirdGirl]

Yeah 100% a scam. It didn't initially seem scam until you asked her if she's ever seen him in person since college and she couldn't won't answer you. It is interesting though to find out how did she reconnect with him. Because if she's in her 50's and assuming she went to college right from high school that was so many years ago for a scammer to make some sort of connection and reach out to her. Did some scammer already have some fake profile of his and she messaged him and said something like "hey do you remember me from college"?

it sucks seeing friends get sucked into this but at the end of the day, she is likely going to believe in this boyfriend vs a friend trying to tell her otherwise.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

Yeah 100% a scam. It didn't initially seem scam until you asked her if she's ever seen him in person since college and she couldn't won't answer you. It is interesting though to find out how did she reconnect with him. Because if she's in her 50's and assuming she went to college right from high school that was so many years ago for a scammer to make some sort of connection and reach out to her. Did some scammer already have some fake profile of his and she messaged him and said something like "hey do you remember me from college"?

it sucks seeing friends get sucked into this but at the end of the day, she is likely going to believe in this boyfriend vs a friend trying to tell her otherwise.

Yes... I literally cannot get an answer about how they "reconnected". I think meeting him in the college was just kind of a "meet and greet" kind of a thing. As far as my research indicates, he didn't attend college. She just happened to MEET him somewhere at the college. Meeting a celebrity at a big college like Tennessee, yea that's not unusual especially with the big sporting events. They did not date or anything back then, it was literally just meeting him.

Any details about that meeting, if he cannot answer questions, easily chalked up to being 30+ years ago and having done tons of appearances. Any question you could google about his life, well the scammer has the same google you have. Any posts on his or his wife's social media is, well she controls the accounts and she is a liar. That explains the pictures of him and his wife having pictures on social media looking like a "happy couple".

DH says he is feeling as if we should back off and not intervene on this because she is just going to get mad. I think a true friend would lay this out for her and if she never speaks to us again, well at least we TRIED to save her from this disaster in progress instead of just letting it happen. I am also starting to believe that DH low-key is starting to believe this nonsense.

 

[Pooh2]

My son was recently sitting in the waiting area at the bank for a customer service rep.
In a 20 minute span, TWO elderly men came into to make transfers because of their internet celebrity romances.
The CS rep gently convinced both to go home and talk to the police and their children.
The CS rep told my son that they are dealing with this on a daily basis.

The bank had flyers printed up at each teller station to warn about these types of scams.

Our neighbor's mom lost over $200,000 to one of these scams.
They got very little help from law enforcement and they had a huge mess with the IRS to clean up.

Offer to bring your friend to the police station to "check-up on" their "date" so the cops can help intervene before it becomes a huge mess.

 

[fly girl]

Complete scam. Obviously these scammers are so darn good that the banks are intervening. That is CRAZY!

She has had a traumatic last few years, which will wreak havoc on anyone physically and mentally. She was ripe for the scammers to pick! Vulnerable. So cruel.

As a friend, I would do anything I can to get her to see the truth. Not mincing words, it could ruin the friendship, but I would tell her it is a risk worth taking because you love and care for her too much to see her give all of her money away to scammers. See if you can find stories online about other scams like this, maybe even you can get lucky and find one with that celebrity. If she does cut you off, you will at least have peace in knowing you did the right thing.

I feel sorry for your friend. She is blinded by what she thinks is genuine, which is going to make it all the harder to get through. Keep trying. Hopefully in the end she will realize you were a true friend looking out for her well being.

Good luck.

 

[barkley]

she is mid 50's

She is anything but rich, however her 80 year old father is remarkably wealthy.

she is not old enough for an adult protective services (APS) referral BUT if she is in any way financially involved or reliant on her wealthy father HE is old enough (most jurisdictions 60 is the minimum age). an anonomous report can be made though APS that could benefit both of them.

maybe i'm just the suspicious type (or it's b/c I grew up around allot of sketchy types) but......i'm wondering if someone who is aware that she's likely now in line for a much larger chunk of her father's estate (mom passed/brother passed fairly recently) is involved.

do you know if she's the type to mention/brag about this college 'meeting' in the past? it just seems a little too convenient that dad has wealth and now that her brother and mother have passed this 'recconection' with such an obscure individual from decades ago in her past occured-sounds like inside information. if someone knows that her dad is the type to help her out financially now that she's a single woman they may be looking at that as a long game financial stream. if they know she's in line for an inheritance they may be playing it low-key and waiting for a BIG payoff.

 

[wifey]

To day 2025 has been a bit of a crazy year to say the least. Seems like this stuff runs in cycles.

Anyway, I found out that a family friend of ours is "dating" a celebrity.

A little background.... she is mid 50's, her brother passed within the last couple years, cancer survivor, her mother passed earlier this year, and in late 2024 she got divorced. I am not quite sure what happened with that, she said that they were having a quarrel and her husband told her it was over, and walked out (literally) in the middle of the night and called somebody to pick him up, and they haven't been together since. Literally the next communication they had was divorce papers. To say she has had a really rough go of it the past year is an understatement. She is anything but rich, however her 80 year old father is remarkably wealthy.

Friday morning, I found out that she is "dating" a B, or maybe C list celebrity. This "celebrity" is kind of what you would call a "has been" from like 1980's television. She said she met him ONCE when she was going to college in Tennessee back in the early 90's. NOW they have "reconnected".

Here is where the story seems to unravel, but she does not see it:

This "celebrity" is married. (however he tells her that they are getting divorced) In fact he was TRICKED into marrying her in the first place. Said something about he thought it was the plot for a TV show or movie, and they accidentally ended up being legally married. They are still making public appearances and stuff, and live in the same home, but they are getting divorced, and he is going to marry our friend.

He has asked our friend NOT to post on any of his social media accounts, because this relationship has to stay a SECRET.

He said do not believe a word that is posted on his own social media because his wife is the one who controls it. Of course do not believe anything you see on his wife's social media because she is a liar.

He has sent her a diamond necklace as a gift already (I am guessing it is something he got from Temu). He also orders pizza for her (and her father) for family dinner nights because he cannot be there in person as he is off doing these celebrity things.

Of course she will NOT answer the questions.... HAVE YOU ACTUALLY SEEN THIS GUY IN PERSON since you "met him once in college? and JUST EXACTLY HOW DID YOU RECONNECT?

*this also explains a situation that happened with her banking that got her account frozen due to "potential fraud" just recently. She did not tell us the whole story at the time, but she was so angry that she got her account frozen.... and advised to just leave the bank because of a mishap with a check. She said that she sold somebody an expensive item, deposited the check..... she SAID the check was good, and then turned around and bought another expensive item. Come to find out the check was not actually good, and her dad had to kick in the funds to straighten her account out.

Come to find out... she sold an item (which she would not name) to somebody in a far off state that was a "friend" of this "celebrity". She then turned around and bought this expensive autographed guitar as a gift for her "new celebrity boyfriend". We wondered why she would buy such a thing.... come to find out, this is why.

She insists this is REAL. We are trying to tell her that this is 100% a scammer. We are looking for a way to have some kind of "intervention" w/o it seeming like an intervention. To me she is a textbook victim here and all of this is textbook scam. Unfortunately, DH actually seemed to believe the story at the beginning. I was like NO this is painfully obvious.

Definitely a scam she need to watch Scam Interceptors on afternoon tv. They keep doing programs about this. Deep fake AI photo crap and asking for sympathy and cash .. they use voice changers and lie a lot . One I watched two weeks ago was a bloke in India pretending to be a celeb type from the USA. Gently sit her down and watch them together over a cuppa bad some biscuits see if she says anything..

 

[LuvOrlando]

Oh no, this is such a sad situation, this is probably someone she knows who she name dropped about meeting this celebrity in HS and is aware how desperate she is for love.

Best guess is "the friend" of the celebrity is the scammer, any chance you could show a lot of interest in the banking hiccup so she would let you see the canceled check to catch the name that signed the check so you could do some googling? The person who signed for the check must have a real account to cash the check so that is the first real starting point, and probably only real link.

Any chance you can reach out to the celebrity to say someone is pretending to be them to scam your friend?

 

[NotUrsula]

If her father is very wealthy, it's pretty much a guarantee that he has an attorney who vetts his financial matters. While the attorney cannot discuss their clients' situation with you, there is nothing stopping you from sending that attorney a letter informing them that a client is being targeted by a scammer. If you can find out who the father's legal advisor is, send an alert.

 

[Praying Colonel]

Sounds like a variation on the military romance scam, which sadly happens way too often.

https://consumer.ftc.gov/consumer-alerts/2023/07/military-consumers-and-romance-scams

 

[OrangeBirdGirl]

DH says he is feeling as if we should back off and not intervene on this because she is just going to get mad. I think a true friend would lay this out for her and if she never speaks to us again, well at least we TRIED to save her from this disaster in progress instead of just letting it happen. I am also starting to believe that DH low-key is starting to believe this nonsense.

That is really a tough one. I had doubts about my best-friends relationship with a man overseas. I didn't badger her about it, I just expressed to her my concern that he was a scammer and told her I just care about her and was looking out for her. She appreciated it but said it was not a scam. Since then they are going on 9 years of marriage and wonderfully happy (he's in the US). So maybe if you bring it up tactfully then she will still be your friend, even if she doesn't believe you.

But what is hard about it, is if she does't listen to you, do you really want to spend your time with her? I'm assuming she is going to spend your time together gushing over what a wonderful man he is and their relationship and you're not going to want to hear it. With my friend, I was just leery because he was 13 years younger than her. But she never gave him any money (and she brought that up the first time I said something to her about it being a scam). And, my friend has a very fulfilling life, meaning when we would get together and her and the boyfriend were just dating she'd mention him but she had so much other stuff in her life that we had alot to talk about that didn't revolve around him. If your friend's entire world now revolves around him, it's going to be hard to want to hang out with her and listen to this nonsense.

Good luck in whatever you decide. I hope she opens her eyes to this soon.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

she is not old enough for an adult protective services (APS) referral BUT if she is in any way financially involved or reliant on her wealthy father HE is old enough (most jurisdictions 60 is the minimum age). an anonomous report can be made though APS that could benefit both of them.

maybe i'm just the suspicious type (or it's b/c I grew up around allot of sketchy types) but......i'm wondering if someone who is aware that she's likely now in line for a much larger chunk of her father's estate (mom passed/brother passed fairly recently) is involved.

do you know if she's the type to mention/brag about this college 'meeting' in the past? it just seems a little too convenient that dad has wealth and now that her brother and mother have passed this 'recconection' with such an obscure individual from decades ago in her past occured-sounds like inside information. if someone knows that her dad is the type to help her out financially now that she's a single woman they may be looking at that as a long game financial stream. if they know she's in line for an inheritance they may be playing it low-key and waiting for a BIG payoff.

I found out a little bit more about how they "reconnected" after all these years.

She says she met him in a bar in Knoxville, TN back in the 90s when she was in college. She gave him her phone number at this bar.

NOW she expects us to believe that he sent her a text out of the blue after all these years???

I guess number porting is a thing, but this was back in the early 90's. She is from up here.... she has a local phone number. I highly doubt that she had a cellphone back in the early 90s, kept her same phone number when she moved to TN, came back... still has kept that same phone number for all these years. She somehow gave him a phone number 30+ years ago in a bar, and he has kept it for that long and just happened to text her wanting to reconnect??? There is SO much more to this story than what she is telling us.

Money has already been an issue in this... the "friend" from like Texas or something that she sold something to (that she will not say what it is), sent the check that had insufficient funds drove her account into the negative big time. Turns out the friend of hers in TX was actually a friend of this "celebrity". She sold whatever item it was... she won't commit to a dollar amount, but she is saying it was around $2500, but she said she deposited that check she received in the mail, then turned around and used those funds.....PLUS some more, to pay for this autographed guitar that she got as a gift for this "celebrity". I found out later this gift was for the "celebrity" originally she was telling us it was something she bought for herself. I do see the bank's error in not putting a hold on the check. THAT would have prevented it. I asked why in the world did the teller not talk to you about this check and put a hold on it. Her response was, "oh I just slipped it in the night deposit". I know myself that more often than not, the night deposits are not scrutinized very closely. They are just wanting to get them "done" and not really paying attention to what they are doing. YES, the teller SHOULD have called her and put a hold on the check, but it didn't happen. I do not find that surprising because of how busy they get up on the teller lines and trying to do night deposits between a flood of customers coming in doing transactions. Usually those are business deposits and they are trying to just rush through them. This is how mistakes happen, and it did. She was angry w/the bank because they then froze her accounts due to potential fraud. She wasn't telling us the whole story at first. Only later did we find out it was all connected to the "celebrity".

 

[OrangeBirdGirl]

I guess number porting is a thing, but this was back in the early 90's. She is from up here.... she has a local phone number. I highly doubt that she had a cellphone back in the early 90s, kept her same phone number when she moved to TN, came back... still has kept that same phone number for all these years. She somehow gave him a phone number 30+ years ago in a bar, and he has kept it for that long and just happened to text her wanting to reconnect??? There is SO much more to this story than what she is telling us.

She must've sure made an impact on this man. I mean he kept her phone number written on a napkin for 30+ years! Or, let's give him benefit that he had a cellphone since he was a celeb and could afford the huge per minute rate back then. He took the time to update each new phone he's gotten in the past 30 years with "random girl I met in Knox" phone number. Because back then I don't think you could just transfer numbers between phones like you do now. This story is getting crazier and crazier.

 

[lanejudy]

do you know if she's the type to mention/brag about this college 'meeting' in the past?

I question whether the actually did meet the celebrity back in college. I think that's all part of the scam. A made up long-ago "we bumped into each other at a bar" type of story... and it goes from there. The entire thing is scam.

OP - I don't have any particular suggestions that haven't already been mentioned. Unfortunately she is likely to fall victim. Maybe let the father know what's up -- that way he might be able to say "I'm not bailing you out again."

 

[irlandaise]

I question whether the actually did meet the celebrity back in college. I think that's all part of the scam. A made up long-ago "we bumped into each other at a bar" type of story... and it goes from there. The entire thing is scam.

That's a very good theory, because I'm still trying to figure out how a scammer would know that this woman had met Celebrity 30 years ago. If she never did and is now claiming a fake history with him, that would make more sense. (Not that any of this story makes much sense...)

 

[cabanafrau]

I question whether the actually did meet the celebrity back in college. I think that's all part of the scam. A made up long-ago "we bumped into each other at a bar" type of story... and it goes from there. The entire thing is scam.

OP - I don't have any particular suggestions that haven't already been mentioned. Unfortunately she is likely to fall victim. Maybe let the father know what's up -- that way he might be able to say "I'm not bailing you out again."

That's my thought, if you can speak to her dad without her knowing, and if he's both capable of managing the situation and likely to be prepared to act to shut things down.

I'm guessing reaching out to the actual celebrity is useless. Even if they bothered to make any statement warning of scammers, the story about the wife running the social media accounts will probably be used to explain that away.

 

[wifey]

Perhaps her mental capacity is not what it used to be. Are there any other friends or family you can speak to? Can you find out if others have concerns over her mental health? I’m wondering if it’s a form of dementia, only because both my parents have succumbed to this dreadful illness. Mom makes up all sorts of crazy stories for attention or to get reactions from folks because she’s so out of touch with normal life. Not saying it happened to the lady you know but might be a good idea so see what’s going on over the grand scheme of things.

 

[Imzadi]

Your friend is being "catfished." There is a cable TV show called Catfish - The TV show. It currently has 276 episodes. That tells you how prevalent this is. They might even have clips of episodes to show to your friend, in which she might recognize the same stuff is happening to her. Yes, it is a scam. Someone pretends to be someone else, uses someone else's identity, bio and photos, to bait and reel the catfish in. Yet they never meet in person. Or even Zooms/Skypes/Facetimes with the person, so she can know it's really him.

And giving money to the scammer is classic. I bet, if you confront her, she will actually say he never asked for money or the gifts she sends. SHE offered it and he turned her down. Yet she insisted.