Was the teacher wrong?

[SamFaniam]

I teach preschool.

Early Childhood Educators approach communication with children in non-threatening, warm demanding ways. We build relationships based on trust, caring, and mutual respect. Students tend to work harder for teachers who genuinely care about them and treat them with dignity and respect.

I guess I wouldn’t be cut out to teach adolescents if treating my students otherwise were required to be effective.

By the way, I cannot imagine any administrator would approve that letter.

I do think there is a big difference between the way you would deal with preschoolers, and the way you would deal with students in middle school. Although the tone of the letter is a little harsh, I think this is a teacher that does genuinely care about their students and wants them to be successful. A teacher who didn’t care wouldn’t take the time to write this, wouldn’t have high expectations for their students, wouldn’t try to help students accept responsibility for their choices. I think one way to look at the letter is to see a teacher who is saying to their students “I respect you as an independent person, someone who is making choices for themselves, and can choose to make better choices in the future.“

 

[brockash]

I teach preschool.

Early Childhood Educators approach communication with children in non-threatening, warm demanding ways. We build relationships based on trust, caring, and mutual respect. Students tend to work harder for teachers who genuinely care about them and treat them with dignity and respect.

I guess I wouldn’t be cut out to teach adolescents if treating my students otherwise were required to be effective.

By the way, I cannot imagine any administrator would approve that letter.

You're right; it sounds like pre-K is the best environment for you and you're correct VERY different than upper elementary, middle school and high school.

I'm a school counselor (have been in HS, MS and now elementary) and have 3 kids of my own and I see no problem with the letter.

We do our kids a huge disservice when we don't teach them about and hold them personally accountable for their choices. That doesn't mean this teacher doesn't care about his/her students; just the opposite actually. If he/she truly didn't care, they wouldn't go through the trouble of writing the note or the hassle of dealing with the issues that come up when you stand up and do what you feel is best for your students in the long run - not just take the path of least resistance.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

Yes it was wrong. It was demeaning and flat out nasty.
If you have a policy of no extra credit, say it nicely in the first day of the semester on the syllabus that goes home to be signed by parents.

To students and parents. There are no provisions other than clerical error for altering grades and no extra credit assignments are given to improve grades. I WILL give out extra work sheets upon request if someone needs the practice. If you are having trouble, the time to come see me is BEFORE the test, not after. Homework is due on the days indicated. If you have conflicts to scheduled completion dates of homework or tests the time to ask for an exception is before hand, not afterwards.

 

[Sandeep1]

I would never write something like this to my students. There are better ways to communicate about the consequences of their actions and choices. I believe that she crossed a line and went too far.

That's your choice. Different teachers employ different methods. You do you.

 

[Magical2017]

I have no problem with the letter--do the work or accept the consequences. I am a middle school parent and often say the same thing to my older son.

One thing that gives me pause is that the article states that the superintendent said the letter was not approved so it should not have been sent home. Many parents may agree with the message but clearly some did not like how it was conveyed. Too bad, perhaps, but parents and teachers working as allies can make a big impact on student success. The teacher has to consider the audience. Good for her for taking a stand, though.

 

[kimblebee]

Please tell me that was deliberate?

You’re not new. You know it wasn’t.

 

[CarolAnn856]

Again, having been there, it wouldn't surprise me in any way if the kid's parents had insisted (s)he ask for the extra-credit assignment. Not proud of this but that's certainly how it would have gone down in our situation.

But would you really have done that if your kid hadn't turned in all of his/her work? I sure would not.

 

[kaytieeldr]

The only part that *might* be considered a little demeaning & that she might have been better to have left out is the part where she says something like, "Even if I offered you extra credit, you probably wouldn't do it."

She stated her policy is based on experience.

Early Childhood Educators approach communication with children in non-threatening, warm demanding ways.

Then, not fifth-graders?

 

[PollyannaMom]

Part of the problem in our district is a pervasive laxness when it comes to grading in general. Teacher after teacher takes late work, allows test corrections, etc. So kids grow up expecting flexibility. It drives me crazy as a parent trying to teach good study habits and the importance of deadlines, only to have teachers take work late and revisions.

I work part-time as a sub, so I know a lot of teachers without having to deal with this part of the job myself. What I've heard, unfortunately, is that a lot of this "caving in" is forced on teachers by administration. Parents complain, and admin feels it's their job to "make the customers happy".

But the real "customer" of public education is society in general, and I don't think we're supporting that customer by always rescuing kids from consequences. So I support this teacher cracking down on the extra credit requests.

That said, we also need to get through to kids that they don't have to be perfect - that an occasional bad grade in middle school is not the end of their college dreams. I know kids who view Cs as Fs. They have no concept that you can make a mistake and recover from it.

...So kids grow up expecting flexibility...

Speaking specifically to this line, they definitely do - and it could probably be a whole thread on it's own! I think it's a pervasive expectation of society in general right now - we bend the world to our preferences, rather than bending to it. We're used to convenient options: business not open - check the website, don't have tome to shop - grocery delivery, and so on. I'm not saying those are bad things, but you're definitely right that kids (and all of us) are used to not having to plan ahead or do things "somebody else's way".

If you have a policy of no extra credit, say it nicely in the first day of the semester on the syllabus that goes home to be signed by parents.

But they do!! It's just that few people actually read them, and even fewer take them seriously. We are becoming a society of exceptions. Students (and parents) see all the accommodations we already make, and expect everything to be on an individual basis.

 

[mom2rtk]

You're right; it sounds like pre-K is the best environment for you and you're correct VERY different than upper elementary, middle school and high school.

I'm a school counselor (have been in HS, MS and now elementary) and have 3 kids of my own and I see no problem with the letter.

We do our kids a huge disservice when we don't teach them about and hold them personally accountable for their choices. That doesn't mean this teacher doesn't care about his/her students; just the opposite actually. If he/she truly didn't care, they wouldn't go through the trouble of writing the note or the hassle of dealing with the issues that come up when you stand up and do what you feel is best for your students in the long run - not just take the path of least resistance.

The teacher can care without "yelling" at students in writing, which is what that note does. Just say what you mean and mean what you say. No rant needed. That letter was the teacher throwing a fit.

 

[sam_gordon]

I see no problem with the note. This is middle school. At what point is it ok to let kids get their feelings hurt?

Complaints like this are one reason people cant take criticism when they get to "the real world".

If my kid brought this home, it would be "remember this when you decide to go out with friends instead of doing home work."

 

[mom2rtk]

I work part-time as a sub, so I know a lot of teachers without having to deal with this part of the job myself. What I've heard, unfortunately, is that a lot of this "caving in" is forced on teachers by administration. Parents complain, and admin feels it's their job to "make the customers happy".

I always assumed it was an admin policy. Probably a misguided attempt to bring up grades in the district.

Students don't care where the policy originated though, and honestly, neither did I. I just found it frustrating. Once my kids started in college prep classes in high school, I had a serious talk with them about how they needed to forget all that other nonsense because these teachers were serious about late work and revisions.

 

[DisneyOma]

I teach preschool.

Early Childhood Educators approach communication with children in non-threatening, warm demanding ways. We build relationships based on trust, caring, and mutual respect. Students tend to work harder for teachers who genuinely care about them and treat them with dignity and respect.

I guess I wouldn’t be cut out to teach adolescents if treating my students otherwise were required to be effective.

By the way, I cannot imagine any administrator would approve that letter.

No, you would be slaughtered the first day - they'd smell "easy mark" on you! But that's okay, as you sound like a wonderful, nurturing ECE. That's important too! But middle school is a different beast. I'm hoping I never get sent to work at our middle school. It would drive me insane!

Yes it was wrong. It was demeaning and flat out nasty.
If you have a policy of no extra credit, say it nicely in the first day of the semester on the syllabus that goes home to be signed by parents.

To students and parents. There are no provisions other than clerical error for altering grades and no extra credit assignments are given to improve grades. I WILL give out extra work sheets upon request if someone needs the practice. If you are having trouble, the time to come see me is BEFORE the test, not after. Homework is due on the days indicated. If you have conflicts to scheduled completion dates of homework or tests the time to ask for an exception is before hand, not afterwards.

Doesn't matter what the teacher says at the beginning of the year; there are those students (with the backing of their parents) that ask/demand for an out.

You’re not new. You know it wasn’t.

I'll PM you about this.

The teacher can care without "yelling" at students in writing, which is what that note does. Just say what you mean and mean what you say. No rant needed. That letter was the teacher throwing a fit.

Day 44 of the quarter (45 days in a quarter, BTW) - student has only 2/3 of the classroom assignments in, no homework, big project due. Asks for extra credit (to be done in one night) to bring up his grade. Teacher has been giving sticky notes to student with a list of what has been missing every week, since the second week of the quarter. Teacher is not throwing a fit, IMO. Teacher is giving kids a letter that can be sent home as an answer to why the little darling is failing.

 

[mom2rtk]

Day 44 of the quarter (45 days in a quarter, BTW) - student has only 2/3 of the classroom assignments in, no homework, big project due. Asks for extra credit (to be done in one night) to bring up his grade. Teacher has been giving sticky notes to student with a list of what has been missing every week, since the second week of the quarter. Teacher is not throwing a fit, IMO. Teacher is giving kids a letter that can be sent home as an answer to why the little darling is failing.

We'll have to agree to disagree on that. "Even if I did give you an assignment for "replacement credit" you probably wouldn't do it anyway" is the teacher throwing a fit. And it's unprofessional.

Say what you mean, mean what you say. Say no and move on. No letter even required.

 

[Minnesota!]

I love it! And, I would love to wave it in my kids face should he be the one this was directed at.

My oldest...ugh. He does ALL the work, but NEVER turns it in. His gradebooks are littered with 4/5, 24/30, 40/50, etc. All would be PERFECT grades, but he turns them in late. So, it is an automatic 20% drop in grade . Then, he is not a good test taker, so his grades falter there.

If he had the balls to ask for extra credit, because his grades were low due to his own negligence in getting the work in...I would laugh in his face, too.

There is only so much warmth, compassion, etc. you can devote to a kid before the frustration of them not listening/caring takes over. I am 100% sure that is where this teacher was.

Kids need tough love, too. Especially from teachers, since a lot of parents don't do it any more..

 

[Minniesgal]

The tone is very inappropriate.

As a teacher many things we think are not said or put into writing. Respect and inclusion is big in educationation the moment.

I think the letter is very inappropriate.

 

[mom2rtk]

I love it! And, I would love to wave it in my kids face should he be the one this was directed at.

My oldest...ugh. He does ALL the work, but NEVER turns it in. His gradebooks are littered with 4/5, 24/30, 40/50, etc. All would be PERFECT grades, but he turns them in late. So, it is an automatic 20% drop in grade . Then, he is not a good test taker, so his grades falter there.

If he had the balls to ask for extra credit, because his grades were low due to his own negligence in getting the work in...I would laugh in his face, too.

There is only so much warmth, compassion, etc. you can devote to a kid before the frustration of them not listening/caring takes over. I am 100% sure that is where this teacher was.

Kids need tough love, too. Especially from teachers, since a lot of parents don't do it any more..

I don't disagree with much of what you're saying. But tough love doesn't require a letter like that. Nor does it require laughing in his face. There are already consequences built into not accepting extra credit.

 

[indimom]

I always taught my kids not to "give up the easy points" in their courses. That means doing their homework and doing it well to get all those easy points which can make up for a bad test or quiz (which are harder to guarantee a good grade on). If they had been slacking on the easy points, I would have been telling them the same thing this teacher is and with the same amount of snark. By middle school, their grades are their responsibility, no one else's. If they are slacking all semester, don't expect someone else to put out extra effort to help you at the end. If something is difficult for you, you need to be asking for help early, not when it's simply too late.
That said, if I were the teacher, instead of giving that out as a letter at the end of the semester, I would have made it poster size and hung it on the wall of my classroom from day one... with an addenda that help would be given to students 'at the time of the assignment' if they ask for assistance. I would gladly help any student who asks for help and puts in the work to better their grade, their work habits, their understanding, but no - I wouldn't coddle people who do not put in any effort.

 

[dish rag]

I think it's excellent and have no problem with it. I have written letters similar to that to myself, so that I could read back and remember how bad I felt at a particular moment. I just cannot see how anyone should find fault with that letter. But I'm not surprised that in this day and age of coddling that many people would.

 

[Hook326]

When I find out my MS DS has missed an assignment/not turned it in, I always contact the teacher and ask her/him to let me know when it’s turned in because my DS has lost all privileges (phone, Xbox, etc) until it’s turned in. I tell them that I don’t expect him to get credit but he’s going to do the homework either way. He’s my first in MS and his first year so we are both navigating the change and what my involvement should be but so far his teachers have been great and I feel like we are helping each other to get him on track. I wouldn’t have a problem with this type of letter and I can understand the frustration.

Each time it’s a conversation with my son to emphasize if you’re going to have to do the work anyway you might as well get “paid” for it. It’s sinking in more than it did at the beginning of the year thankfully and it’s gotten better but not perfect.