Was I naive to be surprised by this?

[LindaG4458]

DH and I are helping to care for his aunt, aged 90. He has her power of attorney and will be the executor of her estate. She can no longer care for herself or handle her affairs. We were trying to handle it from NH but we cannot do anything about her falling when we are 1700 miles away. Until we could get to FL we hired a service of home health aids to provide 24-hour care. In addition, her assisted living residence supplies cleaning and laundry services, and nursing for administering medications and checking on here welfare every two hours. This went on for two months.

We have been here for the second month and were trying to place her in a nursing home. The hard part was finding an available bed. She finally moved on Monday and we have been working in her old apartment cleaning up and getting her belongings ready to ship to designees. We discovered that someone stole her credit card information and has been shopping and charging to them since November 21! They did not take the cards themselves, just the information from them including the security codes needed for online shopping. They made one charge on the 21, then charged over $1000 on each last Friday.

We are surprised, disappointed, and disillusioned. Luckily both Discover and the Merrill Lynch VISA will not hold her responsible for the charges. We contacted both the nursing agency and the assisted living management to be aware if other complaints come along and to look for personnel in common. I hope they catch the bum!

 

[mickeyboat]

That really stinks. I am sorry. I hope you find out who did it and they are prosecuted.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

As if you needed anything else to deal with, right? I hope that they catch whoever it was that did that. I wish you the best of luck with everything. It's hard going through what you are doing but it's worth it.

 

[NotUrsula]

Yes, actually you were a bit naive. Agency employees have to be bonded for a reason. Theft by in-home caregivers is a HUGE problem.

PS: What others have said about theft in nursing homes is also true. My mother was a devout Catholic who lived in a nursing home for 9 years; after a while my sisters and I started keeping count of the rosaries that we had to replace for her. When she died, she had had a total of 43 disappear. (And she didn't misplace them; she wore her rosary around her neck during the day and only took it off to put it in the nightstand drawer when she went to sleep.) Books, clothing, knickknacks -- all of it will walk, even silver photo frames with the grandchildren still in them. If your mother wants a phone and it has to be a cell phone, invest in a small safe that can be screwed into the inside of her nightstand; because otherwise a cell phone isn't likely to last 48 hours without someone messing with it.

 

[koolaidmoms]

Unfortunately it happens quite often. As my grandmother was deteriorating some one ingratiated themself into her life and convinced her that she needed to help them by taking out a car loan. We did not know until it went into default. My grandmother was 88 and had never driven a car nor ever even had a drivers license in her life.

It was a horrible mess and so sad to see how some people can and will take advantage of others in such a vulnerable point.

Good luck to you with your MIL. It is such a tough thing to go through but you are doing the right things for her.

 

[lovin diz]

my great uncle had an in home caregiver. Mom and dad were not able to be there durning the day (they had to work). She was extremely nice to him, and talked him into buying her a new car....(he had the cash in the checkbook...) I had never heard of anything like that before...It is so sad....

 

[bumbershoot]

My MIL is moving into a senior living place this weekend. In the meantime, she had somehow let her renter's insurance lapse (she still doesn't read much English and bills can confuse her then she doesn't show them to us until it's too late). I called our shared insurance agent, and got it reinstated.

He said it was vital to get it reinstated now, BEFORE she moves into the place (even though it's not assisted living, though it's next door to such a place), because to start it up after she moved, it would be MUCH higher.

Theft is high in such places! Maybe not naive of you though; you just hadn't talked to the right people about the safety of her stuff yet.

 

[C.Ann]

I can't even tell you how many families I know who have been ripped off - in one way or another - by "in-home" care providers.. It's disgusting the way they prey on the elderly and/or invalid..

I'm just glad your aunt doesn't have to be held responsible for those bills and she has been moved.. Unfortunatley, bonded or not, you will also have to keep a close eye on the employees where she has been moved to as well.. Theft also occurs in nursing homes quite regularly..

 

[Rafiki31]

Just from working from a public utility company, I can tell you that people who work in nursing homes can be very dangerous as well, be sure to put a fraud alert on her social sec number, it will mean extra steps if she does need to apply for credit, but worth it to stop those that have her info.

If someone has her card info they may also have her ss nmbr so be sure to run a report and check!

 

[vroomagain]

My mother has been a home health aid for 20 years. The only time she ever quit a job was when a client misplaced something and accused my mom of stealing it. The police happened to see the item (a phone) on a different table as they were taking a report. The woman had called the agency and everything.

I guess it was naive of you, but not all home health aids are dishonest.

 

[luv2sew]

These things don't only happen as a result of home aides that come into the home.......The next of kin and their spouses, kids and whoever also need to be carefully watched.....my dad lost thousands to his grandchild who was living with him and had him believing he was forgetting where he put his money and losing it....and the elderly do not like to be told they are being ripped off by a family member that is making them look stupid. It's a shame, can't trust too many people anymore.

 

[RadioNate]

Unfortunately I think you were a bit naive even though theft like this should surprise you.

One of my Grandfather's home health aids stole thousands of dollars. My Grandfather liked to have a little cash on him even if he couldn't do anything with it and my Grandmother thought he just kept losing it. Turns out the girl was stealing it.

On the day he died she stole my Grandmother's diamond earrings and the Opal pendent that my Grandfather gave her on their wedding day. Both were pawned before the theft was discovered. The opal was HUGE and it was cut into smaller pieces and sold to jewelers before it could be recovered.

This is such a huge problem in Florida that pawn shops are required to turn in daily lists of items they 'buy' to the police so they can compare them to items reported stolen.

 

[LindaG4458]

Just from working from a public utility company, I can tell you that people who work in nursing homes can be very dangerous as well, be sure to put a fraud alert on her social sec number, it will mean extra steps if she does need to apply for credit, but worth it to stop those that have her info.

If someone has her card info they may also have her ss nmbr so be sure to run a report and check!

Thanks for the alert on the SS number. We didn't even think of that. Aunt spent a lot of time asleep in her bedroom and her purse was in the TV room. Her SS card was in the same wallet as the credit cards.

 

[LindaG4458]

These things don't only happen as a result of home aides that come into the home.......The next of kin and their spouses, kids and whoever also need to be carefully watched.....my dad lost thousands to his grandchild who was living with him and had him believing he was forgetting where he put his money and losing it....and the elderly do not like to be told they are being ripped off by a family member that is making them look stupid. It's a shame, can't trust too many people anymore.

Isn't that the truth! Another of DH's relatives was executor for her parents' estate. There was a large trust for the care of the disabled youngest child. The executor spent all of it on herself and her family! The children are split as to letting it go versus going after her assets to replace the funds. Very messy! (We are of the go-after-her school.)

 

[daisax]

Isn't that the truth! Another of DH's relatives was executor for her parents' estate. There was a large trust for the care of the disabled youngest child. The executor spent all of it on herself and her family! The children are split as to letting it go versus going after her assets to replace the funds. Very messy! (We are of the go-after-her school.)

That's a criminal offense, not just a civil one, isn't it? Ripping off an estate when you're the executor? That's not just a case of one kid helping himself -- that's a serious crime.

 

[HM]

The worst thing I ever heard was the murders that occured in a elderly apartment place near here a couple years ago. A housekeeper/caregiver had stolen from an elderly lady. She asked two friends to come sit with her when she met with and accused the housekeeper. The housekeeper lashed out at the ladies, killing two and nearly killing the other.

 

[PaulaSue]

TG, you found out now and not in a few months.

 

[m&m's mom]

I have had experience with In house medical providers.
13 years ago DD was born a "micro-preemie" at 1 pound. She stayed in the hospital until her due date for a total of 4 months.
When she came home our insurance provided 24 hour Pediatric RN's. We felt so incredibly lucky when others much worse off had to go home on their own.
We had the same group of 5 nurses that covered her 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. In retrospect, she probably did not need the nurses since she just needed to "feed and grow" and was not medically fragile.
In other words, the nurses had a lot of free time on their hands.
Well, after 2 months we realized it was too intrusive to have them here and DD and us did not need them anymore so we called the agancy to cancel them.
2 weeks after the nurses left my DH came from picking up his mail and asked me "Do you know what I would have written a check for $35,000 for?" Uh - NO!! He got it returned NSF.
To make a very long story short....The night nurses went through my DH's home office at night and found a deposit to the business account for the exact amount as this check.
They had been snooping, found the check and deposit slip and wrote a check for the exact same amount. Only savings grace was they wrote it on the personal checking acct and not the business. Whew!
We also found out over the next few months they stole his CC #'s and had cards made up and used them everywhere. A complete nightmare.
Even though we knew it could only have been 3 people they could never pin anything on them and besides a lot of hassle we were not out any $$.
It just puts a suspicion on everyone that was in our house. I am sure in our minds we are thinking poorly of an innocent person but even looking back we have NO idea which nurse it could have been .
Very disheartening!

 

[bumbershoot]

Thanks for the alert on the SS number. We didn't even think of that. Aunt spent a lot of time asleep in her bedroom and her purse was in the TV room. Her SS card was in the same wallet as the credit cards.

Be sure to get her card OUT of her wallet. Unless going in to do your paperwork first day on a new job or going to the SS office perhaps, there's no reason to have that card with you all the time. Get her a safe or safety deposit box and put it there.

 

[2binak]

Can you husband be put on her credit cards & bank accounts so that he can set up online accounts to watch for any activity?