was I inconsiderate??

[ccgirl]

Yes- you were. I would think twice about asking you to any get togethers in the future.
I always tell my daughter that once she makes plans with a friend she can't change it just because something better comes along-its rude.

My DD7 tries to pull this all the time. Makes plans with a friend then when something better comes along she wants to change it. I do not allow her too. I think it is very mean. However, although still inconsiderate, I think the OP's situation was different. It's not like a great sale at her favorite store was introduced. She had the chance to spend some family time with her DH included. Inconsiderate, yes, unfortunately. However, I would not hesitate to invite her to something else.

 

[npmommie]

I would say "somewhat inconsiderate," because you knew she was cooking, changed your schedule, and didn't give her enough notice to adjust the amount of food. If I was the cook, I probably would have been annoyed, but not furious.

Did your DH only find out that morning that he could have the day off, or could you have given more notice? Sometimes being "somewhat inconsiderate" is unavoidable, but it still kind of stinks for your friend.

No he knew he had the day off. he had been working on a building project here for the past couple weeks, so we have had no "fun" time. originally he thought he would still be painting, but finished up monday evening.
so we thought he would still be knee deep in the project and when he finished early he wanted to spend time with us and do something fun, since he had been spending all his weekends on "house work"

It is a little rude to cancel last minute after you sent your RSVP. I can see her being a bit annoyed, but furious is really stretching it . '



I would have done the same thing though esp if DH getting time off mid week isnt something that happens often and made it up to friend ASAP.

I will make it up to her

i also think it was a little rude to cancel plans, but don't blame you for doing it. Of course spouses come first but it's not like he was sick. It can be a pain to get everyone's schedules lined up for a group gathering like that.

That said, it's very minor in the grand scheme of things and I don't think anyone should have gotten mad, let alone confronted you about it. You're just too popular!!

Its not a pain, we have a standing every Tuesday date with our group.
I will see them again next Tuesday for the same type of gathering.
We see them every week,
actually I am going to see her in about an hour as I am going to her house for something else we had planned.
we are renewing our CPR cards together this evening.

Yep! If it were me that got cancelled on honestly my thought process would be this:

Hrumph.

Well at least I know for sure we'll have enough food now

OHH extra mac n cheese.

I wonder if I can sneak out of bed tonight without DH knowing so I can eat the cold mac n cheese from the tupperwear right in front of the fridge and I don't have to share with anyone?

Stop day dreaming about cold mac n cheese and go clean the toilet before people call CPS on you for making your kids go in that thing!

LOL

 

[hentob]

I let the friends know first thing in the morning we wouldn't be there.

one of my homeschool mom friends is furious with me. said I was so inconsiderate and rude to not come, she made macaroni and cheese and made enough for my kids and it was rude of me not to show up after all that.\
It was going to be me and my kids, her and her kids and 3 other moms and their kids. so 5 adults and 11 kids total.

Furious? How unstable

If I were her, I would have said “Lucky you! I would love some time alone with hubby. I have some extra mac and cheese, so I will be sending it over”

I would make up any excuse in the world not to hang out with this person. She seems like the last person on earth that I would want to waste my time on.

As I get older, I am more and more intolerable of people that get “furious” with me over little things. You cancelled because of last minute plans. You informed her. You owe her nothing more.

 

[disneydreamersx4]

I don't think you were inconsiderate at all. You did call to cancel and it's not like this homeschool friend had to buy tickets.....it was just food that she could use as leftovers. Your DH had an unexpected day off and it was good for your family to spend that time together!

 

[hentob]

Yes- you were. I would think twice about asking you to any get togethers in the future.
I always tell my daughter that once she makes plans with a friend she can't change it just because something better comes along-its rude.

Yeah. That something "better" was her husband. Most people would understand

And, yes, I am sure he was better than hanging out with a lady that gets "furious" because not everyone gathered to eat her mac and cheese

 

[Dancemom03]

you gave them advance notice - life happens and things come up. could have been a sick kiddo, or family emergency or whatever. That would probably have been understood, but you had the audacity to have fun with your family on DH's unexpected day off. you did nothing wrong IMO. glad it was a great day!

To me, it was inconsiderate but completely understandable. You explained and apologized, I imagine after the mac & cheese is gone, and the dishes have been washed & forgotten, she'll understand it too!

I'd probably call Dominoes and surprise her with a pizza delivery guy at her door paid in advance one afternoon. I've been known to do that and have them tape a short message to the top of the pizza box. Beats flowers... and it's always worked well as a visible affirmation of my apology to a friend when we've missed an outing.

Of course... this is the CB, and one can't help but mention that if you'd only been raising a household of liars like some of us there'd be no hard feelings...

 

[mster425]

Knowing that they are weekly get-togethers, I change my vote- I wouldn't give it a second thought.

 

[SaraJayne]

Yep! If it were me that got cancelled on honestly my thought process would be this:

Hrumph.

Well at least I know for sure we'll have enough food now

OHH extra mac n cheese.

I wonder if I can sneak out of bed tonight without DH knowing so I can eat the cold mac n cheese from the tupperwear right in front of the fridge and I don't have to share with anyone?

Stop day dreaming about cold mac n cheese and go clean the toilet before people call CPS on you for making your kids go in that thing!

 

[MushyMushy]

Slightly rude, but not a big deal in the least and completely understandable! Nothing to get worked up over.

 

[AKL_Megs]

I wouldn't feel bad AT ALL.

How easy is it to make Mac and Cheese, I mean, c'mon, it's not like she was serving those little cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off... Besides, she was making it anyways! What "extra" was there for you? A cup or two of elbow noodles and some cheese?

With that said, my husband also comes first.

 

[DVCLiz]

Honestly, I don't put this in a "social" category at all and I'm surprised anyone else does. Getting together as a group of moms and kids is not the same as making social plans that normal social rules then apply to. Good grief, anybody who would ge the slightest bit upset, much less furious, over this kind of thing is being childish and ridiculous.

 

[Handbag Lady]

What is that saying, how does it go...


To friends that matter, they won't mind. To friends that mind, they don't matter.

Or something like that.

I'm sure this lady friend of yours knew your husband has been busy with a work porject. If she was a good friend, heck, she'd offer to watch the kids.

 

[wdwcoltsfan]

If she was really a good friend, I think she would be happy that you were able to spend some family time together, especially since you get together with her every Tuesday. It's not like she was a friend you hadn't seen in months and had a lunch date planned.

I hope you had a wonderful day!


Rachel

 

[nmmom95]

Seriously? You weren't sentenced to Tuesdays at her house. You spent a family day. That's great, I'm glad you enjoyed it. AKLMegs, is right, it's mac & cheese, nothing to be angry about.

I would have done the exact same thing.

 

[cm8]

I ditched a homeschool gathering to spend the day with hubby yesterday. he got the day off and we have not been able to do any family time for a couple weeks. It was a beautiful day so we jumped at the chance.

I let the friends know first thing in the morning we wouldn't be there.

one of my homeschool mom friends is furious with me. said I was so inconsiderate and rude to not come, she made macaroni and cheese and made enough for my kids and it was rude of me not to show up after all that.\
It was going to be me and my kids, her and her kids and 3 other moms and their kids. so 5 adults and 11 kids total.

I was not supposed to bring any food item for the gathering. she offered to make this big batch of mac and cheese and we orig said we would be coming.

so my feeling is I was not inconsiderate, I didn't just not show up, and if I make mac and cheese and there are going to be 11 kids or 9 kids wouldn't be that big of a deal.

if it was reversed and she had the opportunity to do something with her spouse, I would say go have fun! I wouldn't take it personally like she did.

she felt I should have said no to hubby and gone to her house.

tell me straight dis friends, am I rude and inconsiderate?

Tell her to get a grip, if she really wanted yall to have the mac and cheese, she would have packaged the left overs and sent them to your house. I would never choose anything else over my spouse

 

[mickeymedic]

Am I the only one who now wants home made mac and cheese for dinner tonight?

OP, I think you did the right thing. I'm sorry your friend is mad over making too much mac and cheese.

 

[Ceila]

Yes- you were. I would think twice about asking you to any get togethers in the future.
I always tell my daughter that once she makes plans with a friend she can't change it just because something better comes along-its rude.

Glad nobody in my circle of friends is like you. My friends and I put family first and we are always understanding when something unexpected comes up. We don't hold grudges are we aren't petty.

 

[Ceila]

Am I the only one who now wants home made mac and cheese for dinner tonight?

Nope!

 

[LuvLDM]

The things some people get upset about is astonishing to me


You enjoyed some unexpected time w/ your spouse, anyone who doesn't understand that & give you a pass on existing plans, well that person would no longer be a priority in my social life.

I wouldn't give this a second thought, the woman sounds weird.

 

[LuvLDM]

Am I the only one who now wants home made mac and cheese for dinner tonight?

I just bought Kraft "halloween" mac-n-cheese...I know my 6yr. old is going to be over the moon about it