was I inconsiderate??

[ksjayhawks]

To answer your question--To cancel the day of the get together was inconsiderate. If it had been an emergency or something unavoidable, that would be different. But, to cancel due to a "better offer" is inconsiderate.

 

[ilovejack02]

Am I the only one who now wants home made mac and cheese for dinner tonight?

OP, I think you did the right thing. I'm sorry your friend is mad over making too much mac and cheese.

I am not much interested in mac and cheese right now , but I am thinking maybe it is time for me to throw a little shindig , LOL I sure LOVE left over party food .

 

[ilovejack02]

I just bought Kraft "halloween" mac-n-cheese...I know my 6yr. old is going to be over the moon about it

I saw it today, and almost bought it ,but remembered my kid hates the kraft mac and cheese LOL. Maybe Ill just grab it tomorrow when I go back to return something. I can just serve the noodles with butter as a treat .

 

[hentob]

You enjoyed some unexpected time w/ your spouse, anyone who doesn't understand that & give you a pass on existing plans, well that person would no longer be a priority in my social life.

I like how you said that

 

[kelleyrn2000]

People cancel last minute for everything, so to me it's just part of life, nothing to get furious over.

Sometimes it may hurt the hostess's feelings, and maybe that's what happened. It is sometimes inconsiderate to cancel last minute, but life happens. If it were a friend of mine, I would have said "yes, definately take advantage of husband being off...have fun!" and left it at that, no hurt feelings.

And I can't figure out why she made too much mac and cheese if you let them know that morning you wouldn't make it...maybe I missed something?

 

[design_mom]

And I can't figure out why she made too much mac and cheese if you let them know that morning you wouldn't make it...maybe I missed something?

If the plan was for lunch, I probably would have put the mac and cheese together the night before, then just baked it in the morning. (So canceling the morning of would not allow time to adjust the amount.) Mac and cheese is a great make-ahead meal. That's the only reason I can think of to serve mac and cheese to a large group, rather than just have sandwiches or something.

 

[Kae]

I just bought Kraft "halloween" mac-n-cheese...I know my 6yr. old is going to be over the moon about it

I bought some too. Did you also see they have Toy Story Mac & Cheese now!! yeah.

To OP next time just say you were sick

Kae

 

[dzorn]

No he knew he had the day off. he had been working on a building project here for the past couple weeks, so we have had no "fun" time. originally he thought he would still be painting, but finished up monday evening.
so we thought he would still be knee deep in the project and when he finished early he wanted to spend time with us and do something fun, since he had been spending all his weekends on "house work"

LOL

Yes it was inconsiderate but understandable. Why if you knew Monday night did you not let her know then.

Why could DH have not just gone with you.

Denise in MI

 

[mjkacmom]

Yes it was inconsiderate but understandable. Why if you knew Monday night did you not let her know then.

Why could DH have not just gone with you.

Denise in MI

I was involved with scheduled weekly playgroup (which also included lunch - mac and cheese or hotdogs for the kids, a fancier dish or salad for the moms), and every now and then the hostest's DH would come home, and maybe pop in to say hello, and then scram - same with bunco! It's like they get hit with an estrogin stick or something!

 

[C.Ann]

Family first - always..

You called to let her know - didn't just "not show"..

How much "extra" mac & cheese could she have based on the numbers you gave? She could freeze the leftovers and save herself a night of cooking..

Again - "family first".. You had a rare opportunity to spend time with your DH and you did.. No flames from me..

 

[mdsoccermom]

If you had not bothered to call, then you would have been inconsiderate. Otherwise, no, you weren't. In my circle of friends, everyone would totally understand if someone cancelled out of a casual gathering for something like spending an unexpected day with their husband.

If someone is furious at you because they made extra mac and cheese, well, they they are the unstable one. It's mac and cheese. It's not as if they prepared a 5 course meal and calligraphed place holders. It's not as if this was a once in a lifetime event.

 

[mdsoccermom]

Yes it was inconsiderate but understandable. Why if you knew Monday night did you not let her know then.

Why could DH have not just gone with you.

Denise in MI

You're joking, right? That kind of defeats the purpose of spending time together.

 

[C.Ann]

If someone is furious at you because they made extra mac and cheese, well, they they are the unstable one.

 

[dzorn]

You're joking, right? That kind of defeats the purpose of spending time together.

Naw if you show up with DH in tow it gives you a good out to skip out soon then they cannot complain you did not show.

Either way why not call Monday night?

Inconsiderate but understandable. I also don't let DD change plans because she got a better offer. I consider it rude.

Denise in MI

 

[Robindianne]

am I rude and inconsiderate?

Not at all.

 

[Hannathy]

Naw if you show up with DH in tow it gives you a good out to skip out soon then they cannot complain you did not show.

Either way why not call Monday night?

Inconsiderate but understandable. I also don't let DD change plans because she got a better offer. I consider it rude.

Denise in MI

I agree with this.

Isn't this what we hammer our kids with? You can't change plans just because the next one is better? Once you say yes to one boy you can't cancel the date because the cute boy finally gets around to asking you.

I think it was inconsiderate if your DH lives at home and not stationed with the military or work hours away. Not even that understandable to me unless he had been away away for months.

couldn't you have gone for just lunch and not stayed?

 

[whatsup]

I ditched a homeschool gathering to spend the day with hubby yesterday. he got the day off and we have not been able to do any family time for a couple weeks. It was a beautiful day so we jumped at the chance.

I let the friends know first thing in the morning we wouldn't be there.

one of my homeschool mom friends is furious with me. said I was so inconsiderate and rude to not come, she made macaroni and cheese and made enough for my kids and it was rude of me not to show up after all that.\
It was going to be me and my kids, her and her kids and 3 other moms and their kids. so 5 adults and 11 kids total.

I was not supposed to bring any food item for the gathering. she offered to make this big batch of mac and cheese and we orig said we would be coming.

so my feeling is I was not inconsiderate, I didn't just not show up, and if I make mac and cheese and there are going to be 11 kids or 9 kids wouldn't be that big of a deal.

if it was reversed and she had the opportunity to do something with her spouse, I would say go have fun! I wouldn't take it personally like she did.

she felt I should have said no to hubby and gone to her house.

tell me straight dis friends, am I rude and inconsiderate?

SO basically you are saying that you (the teacher) and your kids (the students) ditched school?

 

[C.Ann]

SO basically you are saying that you (the teacher) and your kids (the students) ditched school?

Can you imagine?? Just like when parents take their kids out of school to go to Disney.. Oh my! The shock of it all!!

 

[LilyWDW]

I believe it was inconsiderate to call that morning to cancel, since according to one of your posts you would have known the night before. It was too short of notice to cancel without an emergency in my opinion.

If I had been your friend, I would have been upset at first because I would have been excited for the get together. So I guess I would have been disappointed that you canceled at the last minute. However, I would have gotten over it and hoped you had a wonderful day with you family. I would not have dwelt on it or been angry... just disappointed.

*I will also say this about me personally... I have OCD. Part of my aspect of it is that I am a planner. I need to know when things are going to happen and have a plan for everything. As such, when things mess those plans up, I have been known to react beyond what the situation called for. It's a part of who I am and I try SO hard to control it, but sometimes I just can't get past it. The only reason I am including this is for some of the other posters who couldn't understand why someone might be upset by a guest calling to cancel the morning of.*

 

[chabs]

We call that BBD in my house. I have a brother that does this constantly. We make plans and then he cancels at the last minute because he got a Bigger, Better Deal. Rude, yes. The end of the world, no.