Warning for parents: MySpace.com

[Kimberly]

I don't even use that site anymore because I was being harassed. Tell your daughter to get off of it and stay off of it, there are tons of creepy guys (40+ year olds) that just target girls like her.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

I don't even use that site anymore because I was being harassed. Tell your daughter to get off of it and stay off of it, there are tons of creepy guys (40+ year olds) that just target girls like her.

That's what I'm saying.

 

[jamzots]

How do you check to see if your child has a profile?

It took a little bit of investigating, First i typed in first and last name as a search on the site, nothing came up. Then I typed in first name and first letter of last name only and SURE ENOUGH. My baby was right there in black and white.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

and most kids will eventually learn to use a name that Mom and Dad can't find with an easy search.

Use parental control tracking software and keep an eye on your browser history, If you ever notice your kid cleaning out all the cache, history, and cookies every time they use the computer -- that is a huge warning sign that they are probably up to something they think you shouldn't be seeing.

 

[oobidoo]

My daugther is still a tween, but I think that parents are worrying way too much about letting their children (yes, they are still children in every since of the word) do what is "popular" with seemingly all other teens. Just because other kids are doing something in mass does not always make it okay. I hear this a lot from friends/parents, and it just makes me shiver to think that parents will allow their kids to do things just because other kids are doing it. Anyone that thinks that there are not mass quantities of predators on these teen websites is a fool. They are loaded with them, and if they want to get to your child without you knowing it, they will find a way. I think we should worry less about kids getting their way all the time and more about what is really best for them. After all, that is what we are here for.

 

[jajuan]

My DD10 did this as an 18 year old. She was trying to post a really pretty pic from a magazine as hers. That was this summer and she still isn't allowed on the computer unless it is for school and I am watching. I was completely shocked. No bad converstation yet...but who knows. I tried to explain all of the dangers, but she likes to ignore them (I think she just doesn't want to be scared by the facts of life). I understand the parents that think it is ok...but 1. My DD was trying to be older than she is and 2. I can't only imagine the kind of sick people lurking on that sight.

 

[Free4Life11]

Well what do you know, my sister's got one of these! Add it to the list of sites to I need to monitor...my parents are internet CLUELESS.

oobidoo - I do have to agree with you. I think these sites do pose problems. I've seen some harmless Myspace profiles and I've seem some that would make you cringe. I really think it's a bad idea. As someone previously said, you have no idea if you kid has a "secret" MySpace. After watching the Dateline special, I can't imagine any parent not being concerned about this type of thing.

For college students there is something similar called Facebook. Now, you can online join if you have a .edu email address. And you can set it up so that only people from your school can view your profile. But I've seen people who list their entire contact info -- address, dorm #, cell phone, etc. It's ridiclous!

What bothers me is that they are planning a Facebook for HIGH SCHOOL. I just think it's a bad idea. As if kids don't have enough opportunities to form cliques, badmouth others, etc. now they'll have this. I can't imagine all the "stalker" issues that could arise. I just don't see the need for it.

 

[oobidoo]

Okay, just went and looked at this site, and it looks like some kind of teen porno page!! I cant believe that anyone would not be having a fit that there under 18 was on this site!!! All I did was go the address and click on a couple of the pictures, and nearly had a stroke at what I saw and read!! I would throw the computer out on the lawn if I caught my kid looking at this crap. Luckily, she has enough real friends and activities that she does not feel the need to even be on the internet during her free time. I am just completely blown away....

 

[chrrycolalola]

Just browsing the post and thought that I should give my 2 cents. I am a 22 y/o female and have had a myspace account for about 3 years, since the site debuted. I would first like to say that this site really was not created for teens/young users, but more a a general blog space for anyone on the internet. Just about every musician, television show etc has a myspace account...and it can be a vital way to be informed on such matters. But, for a long time now I have been alarmed at the inappropriate ways that myspace has been used. I find A LOT of young girls obviously lying about there ages and posting very sexually explicit photos and information on their sex lives. They can be registered as being 21 while later on in their blog they clearly reveal that they are for example in the 8th grade. I would tell you to monitor the ways in which your children use this site, bc eventhough it my seem relatively harmless, once you probe a little deeper things a little sketchy. Anyone can create an account, and post very raunchy pictures (as long as it isn't clearly nudity..though some things still get through) and your children can access any of these photos and disturbing blogs without anything other than an account. HTH anyone, but like I said myspace is great for certain things, but like many other things it is also used for the wrong purposes.

 

[chrrycolalola]

The facebook isn't nearly as harmful. I and many other college students/alum have used this site to keep in contact and find others that we may have lost contact with along the way. The thing about this site is it's mostly about your school life, curriculum and acitivites. You can post one photo and you must have a valid university email to become a member, no personal emails. Anyone who is not a member cannot view any profiles unless they have a direct link. Also, unless a member has specifically accepted another member as a friend, no personal information is available. I guess the site still has a few loop holes, but it is much more exclusive than myspace. As far as extending the service to high schoolers, it may not be the best idea, but as long as the site keeps up the profile security it shouldn't be too much of a problem. Just tell your kids not to post extremely personal info like addresses and phone #s, these things are not mandatory for having an account.

 

[Free4Life11]

Okay, just went and looked at this site, and it looks like some kind of teen porno page!! I cant believe that anyone would not be having a fit that there under 18 was on this site!!! All I did was go the address and click on a couple of the pictures, and nearly had a stroke at what I saw and read!! I would throw the computer out on the lawn if I caught my kid looking at this crap. Luckily, she has enough real friends and activities that she does not feel the need to even be on the internet during her free time. I am just completely blown away....

Oh yeah, it's not a good idea to play "MySpace Six Degrees of Separation." I don't think I've ever done without finding something explicit.

I enjoy MySpace for keeping in touch with some friends (I'm 20), but I find it kind of pointless. I had a good friend who was hounded by some weird guy and she started feeling strange so she just shut the account down.

 

[MagicalMom]

I almost fainted when I found my DD 14's Xanga.com site. I managed to keep my mouth shut. I don't want her to know that I am aware of it. She has changed her site a couple of times to keep me off her tracks but I am now "Detective Mom!" and always manage to track her down. I think it's important for me to peek at it every now & then just to know exactly what is going on in her life.

I wanted to add that what realy upset me was the screen names her friends used. They used names like (not the actual names) "bullet to my head" "just cut me now" "see U in death" really weird names. Being a parent is so terrifying some times! Ugh, miss those toddler years.

 

[disykat]

I'm a bit confused. You seem more upset by the fact she is browsing myspace.com than the fact she registered as a 25 year old.

I think the upset is the same. The only way her dd could be on that site is to register as an older age. She's too young to register as her own age.

My son is turning 13 and we still strive to monitor ALL of his internet access. The computers are right next to the kitchen and we disconnect the cable when he is going to be home alone. To my knowledge he hasn't done any kind of message board activities. His group of friends don't even e-mail. We did catch him doing some interesting surfing once though and hopefully have squelched that for a while.

I know it's impossible to monitor every moment, but you can sure try!

 

[pattyT]

AUCK -
I just found my DD on myspace too!
Thanks for the 411
HERS lists her as 20
I don't THINk she would intentionally DO that -
I am thinking she just didn't put in a correct "year" when signing in (I signed it to check the process out!
Goo thing is that she never posted a picture, any blogs - and minimal information!
Just listed her friends names - thats how I KNEW it was her!

 

[True North]

Hmmm.... I guess I am just a little confussed why everyone is so upset. Do you wish they were giving their actual age? The site also asks location, would you be mad if they lied their too?

I tought internet to children for 3 years. Our group has always followed the guidelines that children should not give out all the correct personal information. For example, their is no reason for sites to need to know your age, birthdate, and postal code. I don't give this information to even the most secure sites.

If your child is lieing about their age, and no pictures are shown, then who is this hurting? If they only add their friends, they will not be seen by the people on the internet we (as parents) are scared of.

I'm not saying you shouldn't watch your childrens use of the internet, but it seems harsh to condem the entire site. Anything that is done on MySpace can be done by email, IM programs, or many other sites.

 

[luvflorida]

What bothers me is that they are planning a Facebook for HIGH SCHOOL. I just think it's a bad idea. As if kids don't have enough opportunities to form cliques, badmouth others, etc. now they'll have this. I can't imagine all the "stalker" issues that could arise. I just don't see the need for it.

There IS a Facebook for high schoolers. DD15 was on it the other day. So far, I'm okay with her using it. It has info on friends and peers at her high school, and not just anybody can log on. She knows I'm always checking her when she's on the computer and the first time I see something I don't like, she is off it. It's near impossible to catch everything that goes on, but she knows what I approve of and don't approve of.

I've posted this before and I'll say it again. I'm absolutely shocked by the things that kids are doing and saying on the computer and the fact that their parents have no clue it is going on.

In the latest edition of the high school newsletter that came in the mail last week, there was an article that told parents exactly how to go to several sites, (facebook, livejournal, myspace, just to name a few), and check to see what their child is up to on the computer. The school is viewing it as a safety issue and feels that parents need to know if their child is giving out identifying information that could end up harming them.

 

[Kimberly]

facebook.com is much safer than myspace.com, although with much less features. Only people that know you as a friend can see your profile with your information on it. The facebook is just a way of keeping in contact with people though, not an actual message board to be used... it's really targeted towards college kids, and I've never had a problem with it. I can't see why high schoolers would be interested in using it, because most of the time they don't know hundreds of people. In college, it's hard just to remember what someone's name is at times...

 

[Toby'sFriend]

Hmmm.... I guess I am just a little confussed why everyone is so upset. Do you wish they were giving their actual age? The site also asks location, would you be mad if they lied their too?

hmmm let me see if I can find a way to explain.
Did you ever read that Judy Blume book "Forever" where 13 year old Jessie puts on alot of blue eyeshadow and hikes her skirt up so the High School Band guy wouldn't just tell her to get lost?

That is what alot of these kids are like out there. They aren't saying they are 20 or so to protect themselves --- they want to talk sex, drugs, and rock and roll with the big people and they use really foul language to do it. They are trying on personas.

 

[VSL]

I have a MySpace account.

My bf is under the 'My Friends' section [Jaymie].

I don't see it as being created especially for any age at all. It's just like you can edit your profile on MSN for everyone to see.

I would imagine that most kids are using this kind of stuff in some way or another.

 

[oobidoo]

What it boils down to is that this site is NOT, NOT, NOT appropriate for ANY young child to be on. It is a filthy site with more information than any 10-13+ year old ever needs to know!! There were references on there, that by the way I did not even have to look for, to things that are morally, socially, and every other wrong that you can think of, and they were talked about as if it were just everyday life for these peope. This big freedom movement for children is very disturbing to me. How much privacy, freedom, and secrecy should a kid that age really be afforded? If a child that is 11 or 12 is getting on there saying that they are 18 are 20, they are up to no good no matter how you want to look at it, and they are putting themselves is a lot of danger. Children have parents for a reason; they are not capable at this age of making adult decisions about adult situations. Everything that I read was extremely dark, explicitly sexual, language like a drunken sailor, etc. Dont know why anyone with children would even want to defend such a thing.