Warning for parents: MySpace.com

[VSL]

As for kids being educated about sex at this age, not a problem there. But being "educated" about anal sex, oral sex, orgies, etc. by some strange teenager from another state (if that is really even who it is) at the age of 11 or 12, I think not.

I'm suprised that there are kids that age who don't know about these things these days

I guess maybe it's a bit different in the US, but I knew about all that stuff by the time I was about 9yrs.

 

[oobidoo]

I really do not see the need for my 11 year old to know THAT much about sex. Again, though, I plan to preserve my child's childhood until I cannot anymore. She is fully enjoying being a kid, so why rush her? Hmm, did not know that we were being that overprotective. Oh well, I'm sure that I will be happy with my decisions later down the road.

 

[pattyT]

So I asked DD this morning if she has a MY space account
she said YAH
I asked how old it said she was
she said 20.
I asked her why - she shrugged - I told her I can understand NOT putting her real age - but that I would rather her not play on that site...
she said ok - no big - that her friend had one and linked her to it - she set hers up and never thought about it again (as I had expected.)

 

[VSL]

I really do not see the need for my 11 year old to know THAT much about sex. Again, though, I plan to preserve my child's childhood until I cannot anymore. She is fully enjoying being a kid, so why rush her? Hmm, did not know that we were being that overprotective. Oh well, I'm sure that I will be happy with my decisions later down the road.

I don't feel that it affected my childhood at all - but you're right, children don't need to know, but they find out from older siblings, friends, etc.

My parents didn't have a clue that I knew.
Maybe your child knows

I think it's great that parents care and want to keep their children safe, but I also think that many parents are quite naive about what their children do and do not know.

 

[oobidoo]

She does know to some extent, but not all of the filthy stuff. BUT, she does not PLAY on the internet (only plays games and does school research with a parent present), as she would rather play outside, with her pets, or with her real, live friends. Maybe when you become the parent of child of this age you will understand what it is like to be on the other side.

I now realize that, to my horror, my mother was right about a lot of things regarding my safety and wellbeing. Took me a while to get there, though.

 

[Maleficent13]

Us silly teens! Always being clever!

You bad, bad teens!

 

[VSL]

Maybe when you become the parent of child of this age you will understand what it is like to be on the other side.

What did I say to warrant this?

I said I thought it was great that parents were so concerned, but that some were naive... what, exactly, do I not understand WRT what it is like?

 

[DVCLiz]

What did I say to warrant this?

I said I thought it was great that parents were so concerned, but that some were naive... what, exactly, do I not understand WRT what it is like?

Not to worry, VSL - there are all sorts of parents on this board. Some quite permissive, some extremely restrictive, and a big bunch in between. You've just hit on one person who has different opinions than you do. I've discussed many of those "filthy" subjects with my DD11, although I agree that the internet isn't the place I'd want her to learn about them.

There are many other threads that have been devoted to the subject of what children learn at what age - do a search and you'll see!!!!

Another part of this issue has to do with birth order. There were hundreds of things my older daughter didn't see or know about until she was much older. Younger DD has picked all of those up at a far earlier age - it's just a function of having older siblings and being exposed, inadvertently or not, to an older child's culture.

 

[kasar]

Well, right now we're cautiously dipping our toes into the whole myspace craze and so far, it's pretty harmless. 12 y.o. DD has my permission to have a site (yes, she's not 14 but we're doing it together) as long as she has a private account and I have the ability to monitor what she's doing. No pictures or personal info are allowed.

Honestly, so far I've seen silly girls and flirty boys doing what silly girls and flirty boys do. Nothing crazy at all. But I know it's out there and we have an open dialogue about the limits and she knows that I have the ultimate decision about whether it stays or goes.

It's like most things in our tween world - firm limits with occasional compromises seem to be working well so far.

 

[allie&mattsmom]

I really do not see the need for my 11 year old to know THAT much about sex. Again, though, I plan to preserve my child's childhood until I cannot anymore. She is fully enjoying being a kid, so why rush her? Hmm, did not know that we were being that overprotective. Oh well, I'm sure that I will be happy with my decisions later down the road.

ITA with you. I have a 10 year old DD and at times I find myself complaining about her being somewhat immature for her age and then I remind myself that's not all bad. She's one of the few girls her age at her school who still likes to play with her American Girl dolls or her Polly Pockets, and believe it or not she has gotten called a baby for telling someone she still likes dolls. And she is definitely not into the boys yet, thank goodness. The years ahead scare the you know what out of me!

 

[True North]

After all that talking about children lieing it was in the newspaper today. Here's a link.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20051108.wxnetkids08/BNStory/National/

 

[nwdisgal]

Okay, just went and looked at this site, and it looks like some kind of teen porno page!! I cant believe that anyone would not be having a fit that there under 18 was on this site!!! All I did was go the address and click on a couple of the pictures, and nearly had a stroke at what I saw and read!! I would throw the computer out on the lawn if I caught my kid looking at this crap. Luckily, she has enough real friends and activities that she does not feel the need to even be on the internet during her free time. I am just completely blown away....

No offense. That is what you hope. Kids spend a lot of time on the internet when they are away from home including at school , at the library and with their friends. A while back I used to work with secondary aged students in the school system and the first opportunity they had, they were on the internet and this was not just in one class - anywhere there was a computer and free time available. The best thing you can do is arm your kids with the potential risks of the internet and keep tabs on them best that you can.

 

[WatchinCaptKangaroo]

Kids these days are often more tech savvy then their parents. Parents throw on a cyber sitter and think everything is a-ok when in reality the cyber sitter can be disabled in 2 minutes, history, cookies and temp files will be long gone by the time mom and dad get on the computer. IF mom and dad even know how to locate cookies, history and temp files. ALL of them.

They also will take any opportunity to get online if they aren't allowed to at home. For those of you who restrict access at home I can pretty much guarentee they are on at their freinds house, at school, the library, a coffee shop, anywhere. Do their friends have notebook computers? Chances are they can get online anywhere there is an open wireless connection.

So for those of you who think your child would never join MySpace, Friendster, Xanga, LiveJournal or another site like that you may want to actually check and see if they do have an account. Look up their name and their friends name. While your child may be *smart* enough to register under a fake name so you'll never find them their freinds may not be.

Remember, the tighter the spring the bigger the bounce. And remember how innocent your parents thought you were and how differnet the reality probably was.

 

[nwdisgal]

Kids these days are often more tech savvy then their parents. Parents throw on a cyber sitter and think everything is a-ok when in reality the cyber sitter can be disabled in 2 minutes, history, cookies and temp files will be long gone by the time mom and dad get on the computer. IF mom and dad even know how to locate cookies, history and temp files. ALL of them.

They also will take any opportunity to get online if they aren't allowed to at home. For those of you who restrict access at home I can pretty much guarentee they are on at their freinds house, at school, the library, a coffee shop, anywhere. Do their friends have notebook computers? Chances are they can get online anywhere there is an open wireless connection.

So for those of you who think your child would never join MySpace, Friendster, Xanga, LiveJournal or another site like that you may want to actually check and see if they do have an account. Look up their name and their friends name. While your child may be *smart* enough to register under a fake name so you'll never find them their freinds may not be.

Remember, the tighter the spring the bigger the bounce. And remember how innocent your parents thought you were and how differnet the reality probably was.

Exactly. I remember spending a lot of time in college babysitting, counseling and advising friends who had grown up in overprotective, sheltered homes. Then they arrived in college and reality hit them in the face. They also tended to be the wildest kids, as well, because they finally had free rein.

 

[IamTink]

There are tons of adults also on MySpace. Most of the people with whom I work have accounts there. Many young adults, twentish have accounts as do many rock, rap bands that send stuff around. There may even be a place that's called MySpaceMusic. Keep a very close eye on your kids. They'll get anywhere they want whether at home or school or a friends so monitor, monitor, monitor. MANY adults are on the site. Many college kids too but I don't think you want your 12 year olds interacting w/college kids.

 

[wilderness01]

I really do not see the need for my 11 year old to know THAT much about sex. Again, though, I plan to preserve my child's childhood until I cannot anymore. She is fully enjoying being a kid, so why rush her? Hmm, did not know that we were being that overprotective. Oh well, I'm sure that I will be happy with my decisions later down the road.

I totally agree with the above. My oldest is 12 and I can almost guarantee that this child does not know all there is to know about sex. We have a filthy mouthed/filthy minded girl down the street who thinks it is her job to educate the children around here about sex, bad language, etc. She is so aggressive it makes me sick. And she doesn't take no for an answer. She is a whopping 12 as well. I hate to see when she is 15 how she will be. I don't want my child being totally green but I don't want my child knowing everything an adult knows. There is just no reason at this point. The mother of this pig down the street feels otherwise and it shows. Why make them grow up so quickly? I just don't understand......

 

[va32h]

My oldest is 9, so internet use is not a problem for us - she doesn't use the computer at home, and the school computers do not have internet access.

I didn't declare "No internet for you!", she has just never expressed an interest, so I saw no need to push it on her. She and her friends communicate via an ancient device known as the "telephone".

 

[WatchinCaptKangaroo]

I'm not saying anyone trying to keep their kid a kid is being over protective. Kids do grow up way to fast now. I'm saying that while you *think* your child is very innocent they may not be. Kids are really good at fooling their parents (didn't you convince your parents you were one way when you were really another?).

One should never assume that just because they think their kid doesn't know about MySpace or any of the sites that they really don't. I challenge each and every one of you who think that your kid would never have a profile to actually look for your kids name and their freinds name. I hope that none of them have a site but I'm willing to bet that some of them do.

Living in denial in this age is extremely dangerous.

 

[IamTink]

I really do not see the need for my 11 year old to know THAT much about sex. Again, though, I plan to preserve my child's childhood until I cannot anymore. She is fully enjoying being a kid, so why rush her? Hmm, did not know that we were being that overprotective. Oh well, I'm sure that I will be happy with my decisions later down the road.

I totally agree with the above. My oldest is 12 and I can almost guarantee that this child does not know all there is to know about sex. We have a filthy mouthed/filthy minded girl down the street who thinks it is her job to educate the children around here about sex, bad language, etc. She is so aggressive it makes me sick. And she doesn't take no for an answer. She is a whopping 12 as well. I hate to see when she is 15 how she will be. I don't want my child being totally green but I don't want my child knowing everything an adult knows. There is just no reason at this point. The mother of this pig down the street feels otherwise and it shows. Why make them grow up so quickly? I just don't understand......

That 12 year old actually sounds like a kid screaming for parental attention. Where are her parents? By the way she's going she'll probably be pregnant by 15. It's sad. She's looking for attention. The wrong kind, but sometimes any attention is better than none. I don't blame you for feeling as you do.