Want to Send Someone Special To Disney World

[JB2K]

I am really surprised by the number of posters who are encouraging the OP to give such an inappropriate gift to the speech therapist, expecting her to ignore the rules of her employer and jeopardize her job, as well as disregarding the code of ethics for her profession.

What it seems to be (IMO, anyway) is that those cheering OP on to make this happen seem to like the "Oprah-esque" angle to the whole thing, and they want to share in the excitement (live vicariously through OP).

Posters are not angry or jealous, they are trying to convey very legitimate concerns but some people seem blinded because Disney is involved.

Exactly.

 

[DisneyMomma81]

I think it's sad that there are ethics boards, unions, higher ups who make decisions on things like this. A woman wants to give a *nice* gift to someone who helped her child, who's anyone to say yes or no *other than the giftee* to that??? I do think it'd be best to give this gift after the giftee no longer has professional dealings with the family. Seems very Big Brother ish to me.

 

[MineMail]

You wouldn't think it was okay if the gift recipient treated your child poorly because you didn't give the therapist a gift or weren't a friend of the OP.

There are many places around the world in which doing business relies on a system of "gifts" and "honors." As a result, the definition of "free market" becomes bribery and shakedowns. The rules and laws set forth here in the US try to prevent that overbearing system from taking root.

 

[bluesaturn]

You wouldn't think it was okay if the gift recipient treated your child poorly because you didn't give the therapist a gift or weren't a friend of the OP.

There are many places around the world in which doing business relies on a system of "gifts" and "honors." As a result, the definition of "free market" becomes bribery and shakedowns. The rules and laws set forth here in the US try to prevent that overbearing system from taking root.

Exactly! As much as we all want to believe that everyone is kind and fair, if giving large gifts became acceptable it would turn into bribery fast. Not everyone would engage in it, but even if I few professionals and clients did that would be enough. Most professionals in a position like speech therapy have made a vow to treat all clients equally and give them all the best possible care. Ethics guidelines are put in place to ensure this happens.

 

[lost*in*cyberspace]

I think it's sad that there are ethics boards, unions, higher ups who make decisions on things like this. A woman wants to give a *nice* gift to someone who helped her child, who's anyone to say yes or no *other than the giftee* to that??? I do think it'd be best to give this gift after the giftee no longer has professional dealings with the family. Seems very Big Brother ish to me.

I guess some people just don't get why violating the ethics of your profession (as well as your own personal moral code) is such a big deal. It IS! Do you seriously think that physicians, lawyers, teachers, librarians, law enforcement, social workers, etc. should not have a code of ethics they are expected to follow? There is no way anyone is going to change their minds; no point in posting further here.

 

[peacelover]

The fee's for a license defense attorney alone would far surpass the value of a couple of disney tickets. Not to mention the stress and sleepless nights. No professional in their right mind would accept a gift like that. OP , I saw that you are a single mother with 5 children from your previous posts, and that you are a daycare provider.
I don't know if you are licensed in your state? You surely would not want to loose your livelihood, so why put the ST in a similar position?

 

[crisi]

I think it's sad that there are ethics boards, unions, higher ups who make decisions on things like this. A woman wants to give a *nice* gift to someone who helped her child, who's anyone to say yes or no *other than the giftee* to that??? I do think it'd be best to give this gift after the giftee no longer has professional dealings with the family. Seems very Big Brother ish to me.

Ethics is a 2000 year old field. The ideas behind ethics policy are not originating with unions and higher ups. If anything, those organizations have frequently fought the implementations of professional ethics, higher ups have the most to gain when they can get gifts for simply doing their job.

For an interesting view of professional ethics and what it can mean to a career out of recent headlines, look up Brian Dunn.

 

[peanutsmommy10]

I did NOT want to turn this into a debate. But the newcomers post realy offended me. It was not for my benefit that I wanted to give the disney tickets. At this point I'm not going to give them to her however, so end of story.

 

[descovy]

Done pouting now?

I guess I'll say what I figure everyone else is thinking.

1)You sound like you are pouting. "I'm not going to give them to her, so end of story." I would respect you a lot more if you said something along the lines of, "thanks everyone. I've decided that this is not a good idea, so I'll give her a small gift instead." You just don't get it, do you? You have dozens of working professionals telling you what a horrible idea this is, and you repeatedly argued with people who told you what trouble you could get this poor woman in. And now you are going to be pouty? "I'm not going to give them to her, so end of story."

2)If you are a single mom of 5 kids, and you run a daycare...then how the heck would you even have that kind of money?

Sorry, your childishness annoyed me to the point I just could not keep my mouth shut. I expect to be flamed for it. Maybe banned from posting. I just cannot respect any adult who thinks that they must be right when DOZENS of people in the field of education have told them otherwise.

End of rant.

ITA!!!!

 

[momtosam]

Yep, this is pretty much why I don't visit these boards that much anymore. On a thread that started out with good intentions, people can be so mean. Isn't this website dedicated to "The Happiest Place On Earth"? Sheesh! Mods, close this thread already.

 

[Lizzzys]

Yep, this is pretty much why I don't visit these boards that much anymore. On a thread that started out with good intentions, people can be so mean. Isn't this website dedicated to "The Happiest Place On Earth"? Sheesh! Mods, close this thread already.

AGREED! Why is everyone so cranky on these boards these days? Some people are so determined to be "right" and won't stop until they feel their position will be taken. Crazy. It sure has changed!

(and I second the closing of the thread)

 

[peanutsmommy10]

First of all it's not your business how I have that kind of money. Secondly, thanks for destroying a dream of mine for someone else. Really appreciated that one. I just wanted to help someone else make their dream come true of going to Disney, not get ripped apart.

 

[Nayan]

Yep, this is pretty much why I don't visit these boards that much anymore. On a thread that started out with good intentions, people can be so mean. Isn't this website dedicated to "The Happiest Place On Earth"? Sheesh! Mods, close this thread already.

Not being mean at all, just being truthful. The OP called the school where the st worked and they told her no gift over $25. The OP wants to do it anyway (or she did). It could cost her the woman her job and her license and it doesn't matter if it's for Disney or Vegas or Hawaii. People thought it was awesome because it's Disney. It's not awesome and could cause a heap of trouble.

 

[crashbb]

First of all it's not your business how I have that kind of money. Secondly, thanks for destroying a dream of mine for someone else. Really appreciated that one. I just wanted to help someone else make their dream come true of going to Disney, not get ripped apart.

No one on here destroyed any dream. Rules, regulations, and ethics destroyed the dream.

 

[Plum85]

Wow people really need to chill out. I think you've all made your point.

It was a very thoughtful idea, and I'm sure your intentions were good. Don't let the horrible responses on here make you think you weren't trying to do a good thing.

Oh and by the way she wasn't trying to get anyone sacked she just wanted to show her appreciation. Get some perspective!

If the therapist didn't follow the rules and regulations of her employer then shed be responsible for the consequences.

Some of you should be ashamed of how you have responded.

 

[bluesaturn]

The really weird thing about this place, is that people who give solid sensible advice about how the world works are usually trashed for being "mean". I suppose I might be flogged for this comment, but I just don't get it because this is how life really is. People just tell you like it is, it's not personal.

 

[Scurvy]

First of all it's not your business how I have that kind of money. Secondly, thanks for destroying a dream of mine for someone else. Really appreciated that one. I just wanted to help someone else make their dream come true of going to Disney, not get ripped apart.

I think it is sweet that you wanted to do this for her, and of course most people don't realize the very strict rules that most school systems have about their employees accepting expensive gifts. I assume that you would not have even considered it had you initially known she could be fired over it, and now that you know and you've had time to realized what a truly bad idea it would be, of course you aren't going to do it. I agree with others that you and those who were encouraging you to do it anyway just didn't understand what a serious violation of the rules it would be for her to accept it. Everyone was caught up in what an exciting idea it was and they were not thinking about how tempting it might be for her to accept, or how painful it would be for her to decline the gift if going to Disney World really is her dream. You weren't thinking about how disastrous it would be for her to lose her job because of the gift, or how this would open her up to all sorts of complaints from other parents who might say she isn't treating their kids as well as yours because their parents didn't give her an almost $1000 gift. Now that you are aware of all that, of course you can't give her the tickets.

However, even though you can not give her the tickets, you can still help her to achieve her dream. Offer to help her to plan, or just give her tips for planning a good budget vacation. Give her links to the many great online planning resources there are, including the Disboards and specifically the budget board. There is not conflict of interest if you do that, and no rule that prohibits her from accepting that kind of help from you if she wants to. And if your dream really is to help someone else to achieve their own dream of visiting Disney World, then find someone else who isnt bound by these sorts of rules, who deserves a trip but can't afford it and give a trip to them someday.

 

[tinkluvr23]

To OP
I just wanted to let you know I love this idea! I am going to school to be a speech pathologist at the moment and even just hearing how much she has impacted your son's life I find inspiring. This post got out of hand and I think you should do what you feel is right in your heart. It sounds like buying the tickets is not a financial burden on you. If she cannot except them then you can give them to someone else or use them yourselves. I think the gesture is beautiful and even if she does not take them it will touch her that you thought so highly of her. Do what you feel is right. Only you know what the relationship is like between your family and hers. NOT random people on the internet. Good luck to you no matter what you decide. I know you already stated that you will not be gifting the tickets but I hope you made that decision not on this post.

I do not take the legal and ethics class until spring 2013 so I can't be of much help in that department heh.

Ok this is SO last minute but I really need Dis'ers help here. My son has the most awesome speech therapist and we've become very close and good friends and she has never been to Disney World. Her last session with my son is this coming week and I want to give her her dream trip to Disney world or at least help her to get there. I have no idea when she and her family would go or where she would want to stay so I don't think booking a package deal would work well. She's going back to work in a school setting verses going to parents homes so that's why she's leaving us after this week. I figured getting tickets would be good. It's for her, her husband, and her 7 year old son. Should I just flat out buy them for $900 at the disney store or is there a better solution? I was thinking 7 day tix also as opposed to 4 days because the savings is only $100. First timers I belive need 7 days. Thanks for all the help!.

 

[irishsharon]

If you mail the gift cards to her she does not need to know who its from.Just a fairy godmother sprinkling some pixe dust

 

[peanutsmommy10]

Ok to set the record straight. NO I did NOT know when I set out to do this she could in any way get fired for accepting such a gift. I didn't want to give her this to be selfish or whatever you want to call me. I simply wanted to thank her. I didn't expect this to turn into 10 pages of how selfish I was and hateful and how I was jeopardizing her job. I would NEVER EVER want to put her job in jeopardy. She's done too much good for my son. I would never hurt her that way. But I do believe she deserves some recognition. Something special. I haven't figured out what a simple $25 gc doesn't seem good enough. And just because I'm a single mom of 5 kids does not give anyone the right to judge what I can and cannot afford to spend on someone. I enjoy giving people gifts and seeing them happy.