Want to Send Someone Special To Disney World

[sk!mom]

So now you know that she's prohibited from accepting a gift over $25, yet you are still going to offer her a trip to WDW? I see no purpose, except your own gratification, in going ahead with the gift.

You are putting her in a very uncomfortable position. She will jeopardize her career if she even considers accepting. Therefore, she'll probably refuse but very likely feel awkward with you from now on.

If you really are just grateful and generous then ask her what equipment you might donate to make her job easier. Then make the donation through the school.

 

[TDC Nala]

How will you feel if she turns you down? Seeing as, if she does turn you down, it's because she has to - she might risk her career by accepting. I would hope she isn't made to feel responsible for your reaction when she turns it down, if she has to.

Whether or not she gave your son gifts has no relevance, as there is no ethical prohibition against that.

As for the uncles and aunts who are teachers - if they teach their own relatives, that is - then they can't be given expensive gifts IN CONSIDERATION FOR THEIR TEACHING. If you want to give a teaching relative a birthday or Christmas present or pay their mortgage to help out your sister or whatever, that's not for teaching. I know you could say that you want to give your son's therapist a large gift solely because she is your friend - you yourself did say you wanted to give her a gift for what she did for your son.

It would be a good thing to ask her, then she can decide based on what she knows the ethical rules for her profession are.

 

[dhardawa]

I have one general question for the people replying here. If this lady technically doesn't work for the school system yet (since she is going to stop being the boy's therapist to take a new job) would the gift issue still be an issue if she accepted it between positions?

To the OP, if you are allowed to do this, I definitely think the gift card is your best bet. Just buying tickets limits what she can do. For example, for my family, free dining is always the best discount, but that requires me to buy park tickets and lodging from Disney. If someone gave me park tickets, I would be stuck unable to get the free dining or not using the park tickets. Cash or a gift card I could put toward any package I chose. I could also choose the length of time I wanted.

The idea is a very generous one and I think it is super sweet of you, but make absolutely sure she is okay with it and won't get in trouble. A $1,000 gift is anything but a gift if it costs her her new job.

 

[jedijill]

I have one general question for the people replying here. If this lady technically doesn't work for the school system yet (since she is going to stop being the boy's therapist to take a new job) would the gift issue still be an issue if she accepted it between positions?

To the OP, if you are allowed to do this, I definitely think the gift card is your best bet. Just buying tickets limits what she can do. For example, for my family, free dining is always the best discount, but that requires me to buy park tickets and lodging from Disney. If someone gave me park tickets, I would be stuck unable to get the free dining or not using the park tickets. Cash or a gift card I could put toward any package I chose. I could also choose the length of time I wanted.

The idea is a very generous one and I think it is super sweet of you, but make absolutely sure she is okay with it and won't get in trouble. A $1,000 gift is anything but a gift if it costs her her new job.

Its' not just a question of the school district's policy but also the code of ethics for her profession as a ST.

Jill in CO

 

[Allison]

So now you know that she's prohibited from accepting a gift over $25, yet you are still going to offer her a trip to WDW? I see no purpose, except your own gratification, in going ahead with the gift.

You are putting her in a very uncomfortable position. She will jeopardize her career if she even considers accepting. Therefore, she'll probably refuse but very likely feel awkward with you from now on.

If you really are just grateful and generous then ask her what equipment you might donate to make her job easier. Then make the donation through the school.

I have to agree with you.

 

[Blessed_wth_Triplets]

Wow...I really disagree with a lot of people here! What you are doing is WONDERFUL, GENERoUS, and a huge Blessing!!! Not many people can say they have received such a gift in their lives. I don believe you have to go by "school policy"...there is nothing wrong with giving a gift to someone who has become a good friend to your family. I would though ask her not to mention it as to not ruffle any feathers. Personally, I would decide what you think is a good amount/ how much of the trip you want to cover and get a Disney gift card....I really don't think she would spend hundred or thousands at the Disney store...especially if you say something like...can't wait to hear all about your trip and would love to help you plan it!

 

[Blessed_wth_Triplets]

And if she can't or doesn't accept it...you have a gift card to use for your next trip!

 

[Allison]

Wow...I really disagree with a lot of people here! What you are doing is WONDERFUL, GENERoUS, and a huge Blessing!!! Not many people can say they have received such a gift in their lives. I don believe you have to go by "school policy"...there is nothing wrong with giving a gift to someone who has become a good friend to your family. I would though ask her not to mention it as to not ruffle any feathers. Personally, I would decide what you think is a good amount/ how much of the trip you want to cover and get a Disney gift card....I really don't think she would spend hundred or thousands at the Disney store...especially if you say something like...can't wait to hear all about your trip and would love to help you plan it!

You don't believe she has to go by school policy yet then suggest putting the therapist in a position not to mention it. That is a recipe for disaster. If they value what the therapist did so much (and that is a great thing) putting them in a position like this seems really unfair.

 

[Nayan]

Wow...I really disagree with a lot of people here! What you are doing is WONDERFUL, GENERoUS, and a huge Blessing!!! Not many people can say they have received such a gift in their lives. I don believe you have to go by "school policy"...there is nothing wrong with giving a gift to someone who has become a good friend to your family. I would though ask her not to mention it as to not ruffle any feathers. Personally, I would decide what you think is a good amount/ how much of the trip you want to cover and get a Disney gift card....I really don't think she would spend hundred or thousands at the Disney store...especially if you say something like...can't wait to hear all about your trip and would love to help you plan it!

So it's okay to not follow policy and perhaps in doing so get this wonderful person fired? Really? So she would have a vacation but no job, not exactly something I'd risk my career over. OP, I'd forget the whole thing. I do like the idea of a personal book thanking her, but I would not even consider the vacation idea since she cannot accept anything over $25 and risk losing her job.

 

[DOREEN1779]

I have a couple of therapists for my son that I am very fond of. I have bought them expensive gifts around the hoildays. They always went above and beyond. However, I can see how the amount you want to give can be a problem. With that said, you can always present the gift from your child to her child.

 

[Allison]

I have a couple of therapists for my son that I am very fond of. I have bought them expensive gifts around the hoildays. They always went above and beyond. However, I can see how the amount you want to give can be a problem. With that said, you can always present the gift from your child to her child.

I hope that is sarcasm because wink and a nod kind of situations that you are suggesting get people fired.

All these "suggestions" people have for getting around policies do not change the nature of what the gift is and can have serious consequences when people start playing games like this.

Beyond policy, I would never be comfortable accepting something like that from someone. It's just too much even though the intentions are good.

 

[Chelley00]

I know how I will feel if she turns me down. I really would like to give this trip to her though.

I think it's a nice thought, really, but this struck me. It's a little selfish of you to be hinting you'll be offended if she turns you down. This isn't about you, it's about her, her ability to be able to accept a gift without losing her job and possibly her career. She's not your employee, she's "belongs" (for lack of a better word) to the school system. You seem so caught up in your desire to do something that you aren't willing to listen when people tell you it could cause horrendous consequences. If you really cared about her, you wouldn't even consider putting her in that position.

Now, if her school system doesn't care, go for it, but my opinion is the school is the first place you need to ask, and then the speech therapist. And if she turns you down, you can't pin it back on her because you are upset she didn't go your way. I'd be very uncomfortable accepting that large of a gift from anyone, even family.

 

[Blessed_wth_Triplets]

Just going to have to agree to disagree...I don't see why there I'd such a tone and anger with some...when they claim to not be jealous? I think the odds of her getting fired, or anyone even finding out are just not there. Just my opinion...one of the great things about the disboards and the differences between Disney lovers this woman would be so blessed with the most magical gift of a lifetime...I'm certainly not going to dissuade someone when I don't believe the risks are there.

 

[RitaE]

Just going to have to agree to disagree...I don't see why there I'd such a tone and anger with some...when they claim to not be jealous? I think the odds of her getting fired, or anyone even finding out are just not there. Just my opinion...one of the great things about the disboards and the differences between Disney lovers this woman would be so blessed with the most magical gift of a lifetime...I'm certainly not going to dissuade someone when I don't believe the risks are there.

I would disagree that. I've seen several school employees fired and/or denied tenure over ethics violations.

I'm a little confused as to who the Therapist supposedly works for currently however - is she employed by the School District or is she currently part of Birth to 3 Intervention?

 

[Nayan]

Just going to have to agree to disagree...I don't see why there I'd such a tone and anger with some...when they claim to not be jealous? I think the odds of her getting fired, or anyone even finding out are just not there. Just my opinion...one of the great things about the disboards and the differences between Disney lovers this woman would be so blessed with the most magical gift of a lifetime...I'm certainly not going to dissuade someone when I don't believe the risks are there.

The OP already stated that she called the board and they told her no gift over $25. So in your mind it's okay to break the rules because it's a Disney trip and if kept hush-hush it's fine and dandy?

 

[Nayan]

I would disagree that. I've seen several school employees fired and/or denied tenure over ethics violations.

I'm a little confused as to who the Therapist supposedly works for currently however - is she employed by the School District or is she currently part of Birth to 3 Intervention?

From the OP: First off, she's a school employed speech therapist

So if she's employed by the school then the OP has her answer. They said no gift over $25.

 

[Allison]

Just going to have to agree to disagree...I don't see why there I'd such a tone and anger with some...when they claim to not be jealous? I think the odds of her getting fired, or anyone even finding out are just not there. Just my opinion...one of the great things about the disboards and the differences between Disney lovers this woman would be so blessed with the most magical gift of a lifetime...I'm certainly not going to dissuade someone when I don't believe the risks are there.

Why do you not believe there is a risk?

I saw these kinds of things end badly more than once during my years of experience. Just the appearance of impropriety is enough to cause a problem.

Posters are not angry or jealous, they are trying to convey very legitimate concerns but some people seem blinded because Disney is involved.

 

[crisi]

Just going to have to agree to disagree...I don't see why there I'd such a tone and anger with some...when they claim to not be jealous? I think the odds of her getting fired, or anyone even finding out are just not there. Just my opinion...one of the great things about the disboards and the differences between Disney lovers this woman would be so blessed with the most magical gift of a lifetime...I'm certainly not going to dissuade someone when I don't believe the risks are there.

Because the downsides are huge. She could loose her job. She could loose her license to practice. Ethics violations are a big deal for professions in both private sector and public sector jobs.

I'm certainly not jealous, but what I don't get is why anyone would even risk someone else job. Not just potentially her job, but her entire career.

Perhaps because I've watched my husband have to fire someone after something like this. Someone who otherwise was a valuable employee. At my current employer, we walked a VP out the door a few weeks ago for accepting gifts. So I know people do get fired over this. And, you are right over one thing, they often get caught over jealousy, not from people on the disboards, but because it comes out in lunchroom conversation, or is confided to a friend who shares, and when a complaint is made, an ethics investigation must follow.

Unless you are casting yourself in the role of Satan, don't tempt her.

 

[wendow]

One of my sons has global delays and we have had many therapists. Many wonderful therapists who have gone above and beyond. I have thanked them with words, cards and small gifts. I would love to do more for them but it would simply be inappropriate and create an awkward relationship. And, as others have pointed out, put the therapist's job at risk. I also used to be a therapist so I have been on the other side of this. I would never, ever have even considered accepting a gift of this magnitude.

I think you must be incredibly generous OP and your gratefulness to this woman is obvious to me. I hope you can find a way to thank her appropriately and express how much you appreciate all she did for your child. After knowing the school board says the gift limit is $25, I hope you will respect that.

 

[disneymom2003]

I would say if you really want to do this invite her family to go with yours and then pay for the part you want to pay for.

That being said, I have a friend who has way more money than I do. She would buy me gifts every once in a while. Nothing over $50. I still felt uncomfortable. I guess because this was something I was not in a position to recipricate. I love her and the thought but I was still uncomfortable.