Want to Send Someone Special To Disney World

[JB2K]

I say do it. Do it privately and in a way that your name is not attached to it whatsoever. There is absolutely no way they would be able to prove you had a hand in any of it. Disney Gift Cards are perfect. How would anyone know if you bought and used them yourself or gifted them? Tell her to say absolutely nothing to anyone.

Seriously???

It's safe to say if OP is on this website talking about gifting four-figure WDW vacations, she's most likely one of the "big time die-hard DISers" who thinks everyone should go to WDW at least once (and in this case, she's willing to go the distance to make it happen for this special person).

Also, Lizzzys, by saying "Tell her to say absolutely nothing to anyone", you are asking the speech therapist to withhold information and/or lie, if asked -- absolutely, positively amazing...

Sometimes some rules don't make sense and should allow for lieniency. If a teacher or anyone is more deserving than others because they have either gone above or beyond, or if they just have had a rough go of it.... and you feel like gifting them, then you should be able to. Period.

Good on ya, OP. You must have some fantastic karma with a personality like yours.

Obviously, you don't have people in your life who are in public service -- those rules are in place for a reason, whether it be the mail carrier, the speech therapist, or even a dog catcher, those people are employed by the taxpayers to perform a specific service. If this was a private instructor, this whole thing would be a non-issue and the sky would be the limit, but as it turns-out, the ST works for the local school district, which makes this whole thing an issue a lot of us hold close.

It's "encouragement" like that which will end-up landing the ST in really hot water (and NOT being disciplined and or canned in these economic times is worth more than any trip to WDW) -- have you ever said the old saying about a road to a certain place "being paved with good intentions"?

I understand some folks get giddy about WDW to the point where it sometimes clouds their better judgement -- don't let this happen to what seems to be a great person who was "just doing her job" (and did it well).

 

[jessica52877]

I would wait to gift the trip until after you have cut ties with her. Once she is no longer offering your son services you can give a friend whatever you choose. I would gift enough in gift cards to pay for a trip at a value resort, tickets, a bit for transportation (say $100 per family member) and a bit for food. I also would include some examples of how it could pay for the trip but ask her to book it herself and include a TA card. That way she knows it is enough to cover the resort, etc.

I find nothing in appropriate about it at all! The OP is obviously in a position to gift this type of $ and wants to. She is not doing this to gain anything for herself.

 

[Lizzzys]

And who exactly would this hurt if she received a gift like this? This is not a bribe. The working relationship will be over. Sorry, but I am not a "union person" or someone who thinks that everyone should be treated fairly. Recently in our province there was a teacher who was relieved of his duties because he gave a student a zero on a school paper. The school policy was not to give out zeros. So students could in effect, not do any of the work, and still should not ever receive the mark of a zero. He gave out a zero and was forced to retire early. I'm sick of our society and it's political correctness and fairness gone overboard. Not everyone is equal. Some go above and beyond and THEY are the ones who should be recognized for it. Teachers with seniority rise to the top regardless of the kind of teacher they really are.... but a good teacher that should be at the top is let go because he stood up for what was right and bucked the system.

I don't see this as dishonesty. I see it as deserving. Some rules are meant to be bent. This is not a bribe that the OP is wanting to give to get special treatment for her son. That would be another story entirely. That is where the rules fit in. I know it can be a fine line to discern and that's why the rules are in place... but in this instance i would not hesitate to bend the rule as it is clearly a thoughtful gift of recognition.

Obviously, you don't have people in your life who are in public service -- those rules are in place for a reason, whether it be the mail carrier, the speech therapist, or even a dog catcher, those people are employed by the taxpayers to perform a specific service. If this was a private instructor, this whole thing would be a non-issue and the sky would be the limit, but as it turns-out, the ST works for the local school district, which makes this whole thing an issue a lot of us hold close.

It's "encouragement" like that which will end-up landing the ST in really hot water (and NOT being disciplined and or canned in these economic times is worth more than any trip to WDW) -- have you ever said the old saying about a road to a certain place "being paved with good intentions"?

I understand some folks get giddy about WDW to the point where it sometimes clouds their better judgement -- don't let this happen to what seems to be a great person who was "just doing her job" (and did it well).

 

[WDWAurora]

I'm in a related field and would consider it an ethical violation to even consider accepting a gift of this magnitude. Ignoring that she works for the public, we still have ethical guidelines that would make this extremely inappropriate. All sorts of billing questions could arise, even if she is privately paid. I can assure you I don't say this out of jealousy, as I would be way too uncomfortable with the whole concept even if it were offered.

 

[peanutsmommy10]

I don't want anything from this. I don't need any recognition and I CERTAINLY don't want her fired or disciplined or worse. I would feel horrible. But yes I am in a position and when we went to disney last year she commented how she would've loved to have gone and would hopefully get there one day and then recently how she was going to get there by next summer. I understand where everyone is coming from and I would never want to cause any hard feelings and I don't want to put her in a position to refuse this either but I feel she does deserve recognition with no strings attached. But yes I agree, after my son's therapy ends Tuesday. Once that happens then what's there to say right? Yes I do believe that everyone should see Disney once in their lives. Sorry if that makes me selfish and yes I am in a position to help her do this. I think a disney gift card may be an excellent idea at this point. How much should I put on it? Should I do it anonymously but obviously she'll know it's from me but ask her please not to say anything? How should I do it? I've pretty much made up my mind I'm going to do it after Tuesday's ties are cut. Keeping it anonymous is fine. Ellen makes people's deams come true. Oprah and Kelly and Regis. Why can't I for someone special? I'm sorry if I've started a debate. That was seriously NOT my intention. I just wanted to recognize her and yes I will write that letter and give it to her supervisor. That's also and excellent idea to recognize her publicly but privately I feel she is owed this. And I want to make it happen.

 

[sissy_ib]

I don't want anything from this. I don't need any recognition and I CERTAINLY don't want her fired or disciplined or worse. I would feel horrible. But yes I am in a position and when we went to disney last year she commented how she would've loved to have gone and would hopefully get there one day and then recently how she was going to get there by next summer. I understand where everyone is coming from and I would never want to cause any hard feelings and I don't want to put her in a position to refuse this either but I feel she does deserve recognition with no strings attached. But yes I agree, after my son's therapy ends Tuesday. Once that happens then what's there to say right? Yes I do believe that everyone should see Disney once in their lives. Sorry if that makes me selfish and yes I am in a position to help her do this. I think a disney gift card may be an excellent idea at this point. How much should I put on it? Should I do it anonymously but obviously she'll know it's from me but ask her please not to say anything? How should I do it? I've pretty much made up my mind I'm going to do it after Tuesday's ties are cut. Keeping it anonymous is fine. Ellen makes people's deams come true. Oprah and Kelly and Regis. Why can't I for someone special? I'm sorry if I've started a debate. That was seriously NOT my intention. I just wanted to recognize her and yes I will write that letter and give it to her supervisor. That's also and excellent idea to recognize her publicly but privately I feel she is owed this. And I want to make it happen.

Please ask her supervisor if it is allowed first. I think most people here are only worried that this may cause more harm than good. And be prepared for her to refuse it.

 

[peacelover]

I don't want anything from this. I don't need any recognition and I CERTAINLY don't want her fired or disciplined or worse. I would feel horrible. But yes I am in a position and when we went to disney last year she commented how she would've loved to have gone and would hopefully get there one day and then recently how she was going to get there by next summer. I understand where everyone is coming from and I would never want to cause any hard feelings and I don't want to put her in a position to refuse this either but I feel she does deserve recognition with no strings attached. But yes I agree, after my son's therapy ends Tuesday. Once that happens then what's there to say right? Yes I do believe that everyone should see Disney once in their lives. Sorry if that makes me selfish and yes I am in a position to help her do this. I think a disney gift card may be an excellent idea at this point. How much should I put on it? Should I do it anonymously but obviously she'll know it's from me but ask her please not to say anything? How should I do it? I've pretty much made up my mind I'm going to do it after Tuesday's ties are cut. Keeping it anonymous is fine. Ellen makes people's deams come true. Oprah and Kelly and Regis. Why can't I for someone special? I'm sorry if I've started a debate. That was seriously NOT my intention. I just wanted to recognize her and yes I will write that letter and give it to her supervisor. That's also and excellent idea to recognize her publicly but privately I feel she is owed this. And I want to make it happen.

OP
anyone who is in the medical profession is bound by the same code of ethics.
This might be an extreme example, but follow me. Imagine your son needs a transplant and the person you are gifting the trip to is the one who decides who gets a transplant and who doesn't. do you see the conflict? same ethics for a nurse, doctor, pt, ot, st, any medicallly licensed position.
the thing is, you are not oprah or kelly and regis. ok? You WILL get her in trouble, she cannot ethically accept the gift, and all the money you have does not change this fact.

 

[elfbo]

Should I do it anonymously but obviously she'll know it's from me but ask her please not to say anything? How should I do it? I've pretty much made up my mind I'm going to do it after Tuesday's ties are cut. Keeping it anonymous is fine. Ellen makes people's deams come true. Oprah and Kelly and Regis. Why can't I for someone special? I'm sorry if I've started a debate.

Once again, i have to ask. As she is a public employee, and you acknowledge that you should tell her to keep it private, is it really worth risking her job by giving her such an expensive gift? I mean its great that you want to help her and all, but how would you feel if 5 years down the road, she gets fired for accepting this? And believe me, it can happen. With gifts that are no more than 100$, even!

(Not jealous, just seen too many people disciplined for not following gifting rules over the last several years)

Edited this to chime in also with: Ask her supervisor if you insist on doing this, so that you wont accidently get her fired through your generosity.

 

[JB2K]

Recently in our province...

OK, I get it, you're from Canada -- while I am not 100% sure how things work north of the border, I can say without a doubt that things could get really tough for the ST if OP follows-through (because of encouragement from you and like-minded others who don't have a full grasp of the rules at hand -- it appears to me that you just want to bask in the thought of someone getting such a "magnificent" gift, and those of us discouraging it are just a bunch of "meanies").

BTW, it's not a union thing -- it's a public servant thing -- unlike private industry, those who serve (to include teachers) are held to a different set of standards that ordinary folks don't have to follow...

Ellen makes people's deams come true. Oprah and Kelly and Regis. Why can't I for someone special?

Ellen, Oprah, and Kelly do these things for people who have a whole lot less going-on in their lives than your son's ST. And who is to say some of those folks on Daytime TV had similar codes of ethics they had to adhere to (in other words, they could go on TV and "accept" the gift, but later had to surrender it). As a PP said, you are not Ellen, Oprah, Kelly, or Regis.

I'm sorry if I've started a debate. That was seriously NOT my intention. I just wanted to recognize her and yes I will write that letter and give it to her supervisor. That's also and excellent idea to recognize her publicly but privately I feel she is owed this. And I want to make it happen.

Just be prepared for some big-time fallout -- you've heard arguments from sensible people who have knowledge of how the system works, and you've heard arguments from those who want to live vicariously through your generosity and have a virtual front row seat to something "a la Oprah". You're a grown-up who has obviously made-up their mind, and for that, I feel badly for the ST, because she has no knowledge of what's about to happen...

 

[jedijill]

OK, I get it, you're from Canada -- while I am not sure how things work north of the border, I can say without a doubt that things could get really tough for the ST if OP follows-through (because of encouragement from you and like-minded others who don't have a full grasp of the rules -- you just want to bask in the thought of someone getting such a "magnificent" gift).

BTW, it's not a union thing -- it's a public servant thing -- unlike private industry, those who serve (to include teachers) are held to a different set of standards...

I couldn't accept a gift like that in the private sector either. I have to certify the company policy on ethics (gifts, etc) yearly.

Jill in CO

 

[peanutsmommy10]

ok I hear and get what you guys are all saying but AFTER This week she is NO longer my son's speech therapist so if I give her the gift card next week say, then it's technically ok right? Because she's NOT his st anymore right? How can she get into trouble then? I'm afraid if I call her supervisor and "tip" them off or give them a head's up that will put something in their mind and she'd for sure get into trouble. If she's just a friend after next week per say, what's the harm then?

 

[WDWAurora]

ok I hear and get what you guys are all saying but AFTER This week she is NO longer my son's speech therapist so if I give her the gift card next week say, then it's technically ok right? Because she's NOT his st anymore right? How can she get into trouble then? I'm afraid if I call her supervisor and "tip" them off or give them a head's up that will put something in their mind and she'd for sure get into trouble. If she's just a friend after next week per say, what's the harm then?

I think it still would count as a dual relationship and be ethically wrong. My opinion of my own guidelines, but hers are very similar.

 

[sissy_ib]

ok I hear and get what you guys are all saying but AFTER This week she is NO longer my son's speech therapist so if I give her the gift card next week say, then it's technically ok right? Because she's NOT his st anymore right? How can she get into trouble then? I'm afraid if I call her supervisor and "tip" them off or give them a head's up that will put something in their mind and she'd for sure get into trouble. If she's just a friend after next week per say, what's the harm then?

It doesn't matter. Restrictions are generally such that she is prohibited to accept things like this from current or former students/clients.

 

[crashbb]

ok I hear and get what you guys are all saying but AFTER This week she is NO longer my son's speech therapist so if I give her the gift card next week say, then it's technically ok right? Because she's NOT his st anymore right? How can she get into trouble then? I'm afraid if I call her supervisor and "tip" them off or give them a head's up that will put something in their mind and she'd for sure get into trouble. If she's just a friend after next week per say, what's the harm then?

That should tell you all you need to know. If you are scared to tell her superiors because it will get her in trouble, then it is something that you know you should not be doing.

 

[deegack]

Here's the thing, health providers like this have professional ethic rules they must follow. One is to avoid even the appearance of impropriety.
I have a very similar situation with dd#1's physical therapist. She has been with us for 2 1/2 years. She has gone way beyond what she is paid for and I consider her a friend. I tried to give her a gift card for a couple hundred dollars at our last visit and she said she couldn't take it it was too much. I respected her wishes and we agreed she would use the money to purchase equipment she need to make her job easier (a second trampoline, some inflatable climbing blocks etc). That way she gets the benefit and we kind of pay it forward.
I think what you are proposing would put her in a very awkward position and she probably would not accept it.

 

[TDC Nala]

Once that happens then what's there to say right?

You need to check with HER. Before you buy or give her anything. Don't just be thinking you can spend thousands to buy her a gift, present her with the gift and she should just stay quiet about it. If it was given in consideration for her work, it doesn't matter when you give it to her. She is a public employee. She may be prohibited by law from accepting an expensive gift related to her work. Do not risk putting her in the position where she has to reject your gift after you have already spent thousands on it.

I don't work for a school system. But I am a public employee and I could not accept this gift under these circumstances. And they would catch me if I did.

AFTER This week she is NO longer my son's speech therapist so if I give her the gift card next week say, then it's technically ok right?

Because she is still employed by the school system and the gift is intended to thank her for her work with your son. Not saying that WILL be the case. But you should check first before you spend money on this gift card. I know you probably see yourself surprising her with the gift card but you really should ask her first. If you don't want to ask her supervisor, then ASK HER. If it's not kosher in your county or state, maybe she can help tell you what you CAN do to get her to WDW.

 

[clm10308]

I don't want anything from this. I don't need any recognition and I CERTAINLY don't want her fired or disciplined or worse. I would feel horrible. But yes I am in a position and when we went to disney last year she commented how she would've loved to have gone and would hopefully get there one day and then recently how she was going to get there by next summer. I understand where everyone is coming from and I would never want to cause any hard feelings and I don't want to put her in a position to refuse this either but I feel she does deserve recognition with no strings attached. But yes I agree, after my son's therapy ends Tuesday. Once that happens then what's there to say right? Yes I do believe that everyone should see Disney once in their lives. Sorry if that makes me selfish and yes I am in a position to help her do this. I think a disney gift card may be an excellent idea at this point. How much should I put on it? Should I do it anonymously but obviously she'll know it's from me but ask her please not to say anything? How should I do it? I've pretty much made up my mind I'm going to do it after Tuesday's ties are cut. Keeping it anonymous is fine. Ellen makes people's deams come true. Oprah and Kelly and Regis. Why can't I for someone special? I'm sorry if I've started a debate. That was seriously NOT my intention. I just wanted to recognize her and yes I will write that letter and give it to her supervisor. That's also and excellent idea to recognize her publicly but privately I feel she is owed this. And I want to make it happen.

I can tell that you really care about this person. I would suggest that you simply call the school district and ask their policy. If it is allowed by district policy then go for it. If it is not allowed, then she probably could not keep such a gift even if it was given to her anonymously.

 

[Bonniec]

I think it's amazing what you want to do.


I would suggest to call her boss. Ask her boss if you can do this and let her know it would be a surprise. If the boss approves it (plus she will be aware of what time off the employee has), then go for it.


How would she get here? Are you in state?

I'd love to hear how this turns out!

 

[bluesaturn]

I am in a similar field, and I could never accept something like this (or the $25 gift card). The ethical code for my profession states that we cannot accept gifts from clients. Doesn't matter if we're working public, private, or completely independently. It doesn't matter if I'm not currently working with the client. Any type of gift could make it seem like I treated the client differently than others, and would imply that our relationship was something more than strictly professional. Dual relationships are strongly discouraged in my field anyway, so I doubt I would ever form friendships with my clients. It's not about unions and completely about ethics. If I received this "anonymously" I would probably have to donate it or something because I wouldn't know who to give it back to. But it wouldn't be an excuse to keep it.

And I will add that I don't think the OP was a serious question at all. But just in case someone else gets the idea...

 

[littleelf]

I don't work in a school but for a non-profit in a professional position and I deal with the public on a daily basis. Sometimes people will "tip" me with a few dollars ranging up to $20 when I help them with a service, but I always give that money to my workplace. I don't think we have a strict policy about donations but I am being paid my my workplace and I am just doing my job. If someone tried to give me a large amount, I would turn it down or make it clear I was donating it. If they insisted on giving such a large amount I would actually be insulted. I may have to save my pennies to go to WDW, but I have a decent job and that's what I'll do, without anyone's help. It would be different if it were a family member or a VERY close friend trying to help me. Even then, I wouldn't accept such a large gift from a friend unless the friend planned to travel with me and was just helping out so we could make the trip together.

You need to make sure this is something she would really want. She may want to go in theory, but may be her husband doesn't, or maybe there are other things she would rather do but she just mentioned WDW when you went.

One time a person asked me if I was going to go on a dinner cruise my work was holding as a fundraiser. I said no, I'd have to pay for a babysitter, and it just wasn't worth it. I then received an "anonymous" donation with a note that it was "for babysitting." I gave the money to my work, of course, and felt awkward around that person whenever I saw him. I ended up going on the cruise for unrelated reasons, and spent the time avoiding him. One of my co-workers actually intercepted him so I could avoid him. It was actually kind of creepy.

Sometimes people who can't afford Disney could afford it if it was really their priority, but it's not, and that's fine for them. They'll go when they are willing and able to go. There may be many other factors here that are the reason she has not gone--do you know for sure that is crazy about Disney and wants to go there that bad?