Waitress Not Asking if You Want Dessert

[sbtrfly74]

I never order desert unless my youngest is at TGI and she likes the oreo madness. I usually tell them when we order our meal that she would like it after. I always ask for my check halfway through our meal if I know Im done ordering drinks or whatever so I can pay when Im ready.

My biggest pet peeve is when me and my DM go to lunch and they bring us our lunch before getting our drinks... I do get a little snippy. It only happened once that I can remember but nothing ticks me off more than waiting 20 mins reminding our waitress that we are waiting for drinks then she brought out our plates. We did order mixed drinks but she didnt even bring out water first.

 

[Lynne M]

That's been common practice around here for years, I wouldn't have batted an eye. In fact, I like it. If I don't want dessert, I don't have to wait around for the check. If I do, I just order dessert. It takes a minute to change the bill, even if they don't have a computerized ordering system.

And it's likely the restaurant's policy, I certainly wouldn't punish the server by reducing her tip.

 

[leebee]

I also don't like to have the bill dropped off at our table before we are genuinely finished with our meal, and the possibility of ordering dessert is part of a meal. It feels like "Here's your hat, what's your hurry?" It's one thing if a waitress's shift is ending and they explain that, and that they have to close out their user-number on the computer, but another thing if they just say "here's your bill". (it used to be that waitstaff stayed until their tables cleared, but these days it seems about 50/50; some places don't want to pay the overtime, I guess). It just feels as if you are being dismissed, whether you are finished or not. Adding on dessert or whatever makes it feel like you are creating "extra" work for the waitperson, whether it's really much more work or not.

It seems different when you have finished with everything, including dessert, and are lingering over coffee (don't start, we've had the "lingering" thread already). I don't mind if the waitperson refills coffee, drops off the bill saying, "Take your time, I can take this whenever you are ready." At this point, we've obviously ordered/eaten all courses and are just finishing up. I think that there are a lot of areas of customer service that have started to slip in our "hurry-hurry-I'm-so-busy" society, and dropping off the bill before the meal is completed is just one of them.

 

[Deb in IA]

Your DH is nicer than I would have been. I would have had no problem telling her that we wanted to order dessert and making her re-do the ticket. And as long as she didn't cop an attitude or anything, it wouldn't have any effect on her tip. We're all human and she may have just forgotten. I dunno. I waitressed for a couple years in my late teens and always asked about dessert but I also made a few mistakes. The worst was when a couple ordered an appetizer which I completely forgot about until I brought their entrees and they said "Umm, what about our appetizer?" DOH! I wanted to die right there I was so ashamed. They must have taken pity on me, said I saved them some calories and tipped me well.

This.

If your DH wanted dessert, he should have said so.
Mine always does, and when this happens, he has no hesitation in speaking up.

ETA: And yes, I would not have docked her tip for giving you the bill early.

 

[FireDancer]

As you can tell from this thread some people would be annoyed by it and some would appreciate it. I think though that if you are going to do something that is out of the ordinary in the area (and this would be out of the ordinary here) that you ask if they'd like their bill with the meal instead of just assume and risk someone reducing your tip because of it.

When you are working with the public and they are directly paying you via tip you have to be cautious of the person who will look at any slight or inconvenience as a justification for lowering your tip. While it would be out of the ordinary here I wouldn't see it as a big deal or reduce the tip because of it.

 

[khertz]

It wasn't a restaurant where they have computerized billing.

I used to wait tables, and I just feel it's rude and "rushing" the customers to present the bill way before they're finished (unless they ask for it early) and I would always, always ask them if they wanted dessert before giving them their bill.

It just makes sense, to a waitress, to offer dessert since the bill will be larger then, and therefore your tip will probably be larger as well.

Who cares if it wasn't computerized? If your DH wanted dessert, he should have ordered it instead of worrying about the waitress having to reconfigure the bill. Let her worry about that. After all, she even told you if you wanted anything else that she could add it. I will never understand the attitude of expecting service people to be mind readers and then going home to pout over it when they aren't.

As a nurse, I always say I must have missed the mind reading course in nursing school, and apparently they are no longer teaching it to servers.

 

[Bob NC]

Many restaurants do this. Can't imagine reducing the servers tip for it.

REALLY!!

I don't get it, are people now just looking for reasons to reduce a tip?

I love it when a server leaves the check before I'm trying to wave her down and asking for it.

Never have I had a situation like this where after the server has left the check they then ignored me.

Every time this has happened the server has still inquired about dessert at the same time they would have if they had not left the check.

Sheeesh....Sometimes I have a hard time believing the things that offend people.

 

[MineMail]

Staff was pleasant, server was pleasant and attentive, food was great.

Then. We were only about half through our meal when she stopped at the table and said "I'm going to leave this (bill) here, but if you need anything else we can add it." That annoys me to no end. I feel she should have waited until we were finished, or nearly finished and then asked us if anyone wanted dessert before she presented the bill.

I did ask right away if anyone at the table wanted dessert. I know DH was planning on ordering dessert and coffee and I think his Dad would have too. But they both said no. DH didn't want her to have to refigure the bill.

We did end up tipping a bit less since she did that.

So, does it bother you if the server doesn't ask if you want dessert before they give you the bill?

I think you are overreacting, especially in docking her tip for the early check, but also in polling the public about it. It's really not worth ruining the celebration, IMO.

May e ahe was going on break and didn't want you to have to wait for her. since it was a slow night, maybe she just wanted an excuse to come to the table and be attentive. Lots of places instruct their staff to deliver the check with the food; perhaps that's this restaurant's policy or the waitress was trained that way. All you had to say was "We will order dessert since we're celebrating. May we have a dessert menu, please?" End of drama.

Adding something to an existing check isn't a big deal, manually or electronically. She offered to do it, so why would your family be worried about putting her to extra trouble? Seems silly to me, but ymmv.

I'd rather remember the occasion happily, rather than dwelling on some perceived slight. *shrugs* at least you saved some money on the meal and the tip.

When I first read the thread title, I thought you were going to say the waitress insulted you by implying your party didn't "need" dessert, lol. Gad that wasn't the case.

 

[Hrhpd]

Last night we took DH's Dad and step-Mom out to dinner for a celebration.

Staff was pleasant, server was pleasant and attentive, food was great.

Then. We were only about half through our meal when she stopped at the table and said "I'm going to leave this (bill) here, but if you need anything else we can add it." That annoys me to no end. I feel she should have waited until we were finished, or nearly finished and then asked us if anyone wanted dessert before she presented the bill.

I did ask right away if anyone at the table wanted dessert. I know DH was planning on ordering dessert and coffee and I think his Dad would have too. But they both said no. DH didn't want her to have to refigure the bill.

It was Monday night, the restaurant wasn't busy and there were lots of empty tables so it wasn't like she was trying to "hurry us along" so another group could be seated at our table so I just don't understand why she would present the bill so quickly like she did.

We did end up tipping a bit less since she did that.

So, does it bother you if the server doesn't ask if you want dessert before they give you the bill?

Nope, wouldn't have bothered me at all.

I am an adult. I have a voice. I know how to use it. If I want dessert, I order it. Doesn't matter if the bill is there or not. If the waitress has to re-figure the bill, so be it.

Since the waitress specifically told you she could refigure the bill, I don't see what the problem was.

 

[MagicallyDelicious]

Actually this happened not that long ago when we went out to eat with a large group of family. The server brought out the check, and DH told her we would like to order dessert. She added it to the bill no problem and brought us out our dessert.

It would never occur to me to tip less for something like that, unless the server was rude when doing so. She probably thought she was providing better service by not making you wait for the check since the majority of diners probably don't order dessert.

I have only tipped less once in my life, and it was because the server was totally rude to us when it came to carding my DH for a beer.

This.

The only time I have ever reduced a tip, was when I was splattered with grease when the waitress set down my plate (sizzling fajita meat) and instead of apologizing, she walks off, comes back with a small glass of club soda and a napkin, plops it down in front of me, and walked off again.

 

[Bob NC]

This.

The only time I have ever reduced a tip, was when I was splattered with grease when the waitress set down my plate (sizzling fajita meat) and instead of apologizing, she walks off, comes back with a small glass of club soda and a napkin, plops it down in front of me, and walked off again.

LOL

I would have probably called her back to the table and ask if I could have a lemon wedge with my club soda.

 

[Pakey]

It would not bother me.

It's common practice here in casual dining restaurants.

I like that I don't have to wait for my check when I'm done.

If I wanted dessert, I would ask for it.

If it bothered me that she left the ticket early, I would ask why that was now the practice before assuming that the waitress was rude.

I can't imagine leaving a smaller gratuity especially since she did state that she was willing to bring anything else you wanted.

 

[usnuzuloose]

I would rather have had my bill right away than what happened to us once. We had a rather large group and an 1 1/2 hours passed and we were watching people getting their food. My husband doesn't like to say anything. But one of the women at our table said I am saying something, upon her return the waitress we had was new , but our order never made it to the computer.

We did not get an apology from her and then all we got was a free dessert.

 

[MagicallyDelicious]

LOL

I would have probably called her back to the table and ask if I could have a lemon wedge with my club soda.

She's lucky I was sitting there in disbelief, and didn't say something to her.

 

[Acklander]

Wouldn't bother me a bit since I rarely order dessert, and if it was one of those days when I was in the mood for something sweet, I would just let the waitress know. I've had that happen before, mainly at family type restaurants vs the high end restaurants. Definitely not worth reducing a tip over, actually I'd be embarrassed to reduce a tip over something that trivial.

 

[Allison]

No, wouldn't bother me at all.

 

[Scornelius]

It wasn't a restaurant where they have computerized billing.

Really? I eat out regularly, and I've not seen hand written bills in many years. Regardless, it would have zero effect on what I ordered. I'm sorry your evening was tainted by this.

 

[powellrj]

Really? I eat out regularly, and I've not seen hand written bills in many years. Regardless, it would have zero effect on what I ordered. I'm sorry your evening was tainted by this.

We have lots of smaller locally owned places that still hand write tickets. My DD works at a pizza place and they still write out tickets and I know most of the coffee/diner places do. We go to Waffle House often and they still hand write their tickets too!

 

[phorsenuf]

And all this coming from a former waitress.

Wouldn't bother me a bit. If I wanted something more I'd ask. Pretty crappy to reduce her tip because of it!

 

[Spriesty]

I responded in another "Tipping Thread" with my own personal opinion of how hard it can be to cater to the general public, just for reasons like this.

As you see by this thread, some people are thankful to have the check delivered early. Others feel rushed by it. As your server, we don't know which type of person you are. It's one of those darned if I do, darned if I don't scenarios.

I'd also like to point out about this specific incident, that some restaurant owners/managers have a policy to do this. So even if your server doesn't want to "rush" you, they have to. Yes, they work for your tip, but if they go against the rules of the establishment, they won't have a job at all.

Secondly, since the bill is handwritten, it's obvious that this isn't a fine dining establishment. As someone else pointed out, the only places left that don't computerize things are greasy spoons (Waffle Houses, etc), pizza places, and other fast table service places. You can't expect fine dining service at a place like this.

And since I've also worked at a place in the past that hand wrote the bills, it's still extremely easy to alter. Take the circled total on the bill, add $3.50 for the Key Lime Pie, and bam -- new total. It's only 5 seconds of work to add dessert to an existing bill.

Just in case you have time and want to understand what a server has to go through in determining what type of service to give you, here's a link to what I posted in another thread: http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=3133416&page=7