Waiting to start kindergarten?

[FreshTressa]

Well, you will know when the time comes if he is ready! Most districts let you test them for early admittance. Does your school??

I do think it is hard for boys in high school to be a year younger than all the girls. Makes it harder to find dates and he'll be the last to drive.

 

[DD2Disney]

Originally posted by FreshTressa
Well, you will know when the time comes if he is ready! Most districts let you test them for early admittance. Does your school??

This is something I will have to look into. I guess it's time I start getting all this info Ive havent really learned anything yet. He is just growing up SO FAST. But better to know early I guess.

 

[shortbun]

If there is any question about readiness-especially social, give
them another year. School is especially tough in the social arena.
Kids are required to fend off bullies, make best friends and watch
them go off with others, get their own lunch, get dresssed to go
outside, tie their own shoes, put up with mean teachers, figure
out how and when to go to the bathroom, keep quiet, make good
choices and much more all by themselves. K teachers try(most of them do anyway) but needs are not always met. I forgot, blow
their noses, wash their hands, compete with other kids for
supplies-activities-attention-accolades. Just because a child knows how to read or identify an equilateral triangle doesn't
mean they are ready for school. I have a friend who's son is
15 now and has always been invited by Mensa to join their junior
program. In 2nd grade, his school ran out of computer math to
give him. He had mastered 4 instuments, won every competition.... yada yada. She held on to him for an extra year
so his social skills would be up to snuff. She tells me that for a
really smart kid, school is strictly social; the academics come naturally and a good parent makes sure the information is there.
So, I listened, we held DS until he was 6. We're at the library, on the internet doing research, seeking out professionals in many fields for conversations constantly. DS keeps a private journal,
is a national chess champion(4th) and is maybe a little bored in
class but gets pulled for several accellerated programs during the
week. Ask him and his favorite subject is recess - YES! We've
achieved nirvana, a socially and academically talented child.
There are several other late summer birthday kids in his class.
Almost all of them delayed entry. One other thing; I feel very strongly about allowing a child to be a child. Rushing children into
public school, which can be a brutal environment as evidenced by the frequent posts on this board about kids having trouble in school, is a mistake. Children are only children once. Let them
revel in their childish ways comfortably. Watching a child struggle in school is misery.

 

[powellrj]

I had to jump into this. I skipped a grade so I was a year younger than all the others in my class and I still remember how awful it was. I was the last to drive, date, physically mature. When my kids were born, I held my 1st son back because his birthday was 3 days before the cut off. It was one of the best things I ever did. He had some problems with school that would have been compounded by the age problems. My middle son is a March birthday so we just started him with his class and he is fine.

 

[mudnuri]

I have no experience with Boys, but my DD6 has a late birthday. Our school districts position is 5 years old by sept 1st or no kindergarten....DD7 was in kindergarten the year before DD6 and she spent many days in the class, while I was helping etc... DD6 knew DD7's teacher VERY well, she is a close family friend etc.... I had DD6 screened by the EEE educators in April. She passed all the screenings with flying colors, was mature enough for her age to be able to stay on task in kindergarten etc.. and she was allowed in September when she was 4.

The year she went was a year with VERY immature kids, if she had been kept back, she would have been SO BORED the next year.

She is currently in 1st grade, reading at early 3rd grade level, and is doing wonderfully well. I have seen this years kindergarten class, and she would have been mother henning them the entire day!

It's all in the child, and EACH child is different. Luckily for me, our School District saw this, of course it helps to have the backing of the teacher and the principal.

Brandy

 

[aprilgail2]

Originally posted by powellrj
I had to jump into this. I skipped a grade so I was a year younger than all the others in my class and I still remember how awful it was. I was the last to drive, date, physically mature.

I was 16 when I graduated from high school....I went in early and then took 11th and 12th together so I could get out of there...I was mature in school and just wanted to get out of there...I couldn't imagine being a senior in high school and having kids who were 19 years old in school...the only thing that bothered me was the fact that I was probably the only kid in college who didn't have a drivers license LOL!!

 

[Cindy B]

I have talk about this debate in three different areas. I have a December birthday, September birthday, and I actaully skipped a grade like aprilgail.

As for kindergarten nowadays, it is not your paste and nap time that we remember. Due to the No Child Left Behind Act, you will see more emphasis on literacy and numeracy. Children will be writing and reading by the end of kindergarten in my childs district. I also had my daughter doing addition and subtraction in kindergarten as well.

As for readiness, my son was more than ready, but with a December birthday, he was one of the oldest ones. My daughter turned 5 on the first day of kindergarten (talked with pediatrician and her preschool teachers), and after the first few weeks, she was fine. She is one of the younger ones, (but not the youngest), and she is reading, writing, and doing numeracy higher than what is considered developmentally "ready".

If given the chance, my son would have done fine. He was reading, writing, and understanding math concepts even before kindergarten. Kindgergarten was boring for him.. he wanted to go right to first grade! However, some boys can't handle early kindergarten!

Many districts offer a readiness program. My school district offers a "free" readiness program for 4-5 year olds. If we had lived there when she was 4 I would have done it.

As for working from home, I have used workbooks (bought a whole bunch of them at a goodwill store), read to them all the time, only watched Public TV for the first four years, and took them everywhere.. museums, festivals,e tc (and all the while talking about the exhibit, etc.)

And yes, I was 16 when I was a senior in high school. That was rough. It was also rough being a 17 year old college freshman.. but I survived. Looking back , it wasn't the roughest, hardsest thing that ever happened to me.... it gave me something to learn from.

 

[EdiePA]

In our school district, we went through a rash of this. Basically, parents were holding back their sons in an attempt to "red shirt" them for sports. (Yes, I know, it sounds crazy to be doing this in kindergarten!!) The thought was that being a year older, bigger, stronger in each grade would make them a stand-out for high school sports and then college scholarships. Well, we now have a rule that you must be 18 or under to be on a sports team.

I'd hate to have had my sons miss out of their senior year of soccer, football, track, whatever because they were too old. Might be something you'd want to check out.

Personally, I think Mom knows best and if you feel he isn't ready, then he isn't ready.

Edie

 

[CamColt]

I feel unless there are extreme circumstances, you should go with what the district says.
I made the cut off by 3 days, so I was always the youngest in my class and I had no problems.
No matter what there will always be about a year between some kids, someone has to be the youngest.

 

[*Fantasia*]

My son also took the "Gazelle" Test. This is to show where they need to place him, to see if he is ready for Kinder or not. He was placed in Pre-K. Then I put him in half day Kinder (he was already 5 Ocotber baby). Then the teacher and I felt that he was not ready yet to go to 1st grade so, I held him back one more year. I put him again in Kinder all day (turning 6). Then ahhhhh...he was doing great in school. He graduated from Kinder. Now he is in his 1st grade (turned 7) and WOW!! He is doing excellent in school. He feels great and he likes the fact that he is one of the oldest (there is one older than him by a month or 2). He is more mature and seems ready to take any task. He will definitely be ready for 2nd grade (he will then be turning 8 in Oct).

There is nothing wrong with holding back one year, especially for the boys. They will do better and already matured enough and I think they will feel more confident about themselves.

 

[disykat]

I was also the youngest in my class due to the cutoff date and went to college at 17. I didn't have any trouble with it - the only issue I can remember is having to postphone driver's ed a semester. My brother was also youngest in his class. No one in my family was still in high school when they turned 18. Maybe that's why I'm having such a hard time imagining 19 year olds in high school.

The only reason I would consider it would be if my boys were very close to the cutoff or if there were extenuating circumstances. Behavior and social adjustment can also become a problem if kids are more mature than their classmates. IMO, one of the problems for the immature kids is the age of the kids they're competing with.

 

[Disney Doll]

If the mother of the child thinks he should wait nother to go to Kindergarten, then he probably should. It's kind of an instinct mothers have, and they are usually right.

It's great of you to be willing to do a little work with him...probably doing it with you makes it fun, and he's learning and develoing and doesn't realize it.

My boss went through this with her son this school year. He was just 5, and a bit immature. He was in full-day Kindergarten for about two weeks and the teacher commented that she felt he'd do better in a half-day program for this year, as he was a little immature socially as well as developmentally. The teacher made a very good point to my boss...if his first experience with school is negative, if he feels angry and frustrated because he can't keep up, it will color his attitude about school for the rest of his life. My boss chose to take her advice and put him into a half-day program and she does some extra work with him at home trying to make it fun, and he is coming along.

Kids can be cruel. If the little guy isn't ready to handle that, then it's best to give him another year.

 

[scrappinMickey]

We are struggling right now with this issue too!! Our cut-off date is Sept. 1st. Ds#1 and #3 are Sept. babies and the oldest in their classes. They are having no problems. Ds#2 is younger in his class and has struggled with maturity issues thru elem. school. Now ds#4 is in Kindergarten and young in his class like ds#2, so we are trying to decide if we should keep him in Kindergarten next year too. Very hard decision to make!!! Know he would probably do better if did, but he will probably tower over all the other kids height wise if we kept him back. Though decision is not based on that issue.


So many things to consider.

 

[Pinnie]

Here is something I tell parents during our orientation/parent information meeting for the upcoming school year who are considering placing their children in Young 5s

"Childhood should be a journey not a race."


pin

 

[Princess Dot]

Thanks for all the input! It really seems that everyone has had different experiences.

I too have heard about boys being held back so they can stand out in sports. This is not an issue for my friend at all though. SHe is concerned about his height (he is already pretty tall, people have asked me if he's 7, when he's only 4 now!) She was worried that he will tower over all the kids if he waits another year. I said that I did not think that would be as much of an issue for boys as for girls. I think boys are more self concious about being too short than too tall!

But you have all given me different things to think about! Thanks for all the ideas. Any more thoughts? This is a really interesting discussion!

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

My son has a July bday and my daughter's bday is in Sept. Our cut off in NC is Oct. 16. I held both of my children back. I could not imagine sending a 17 year old to college.

My daughter was ready academically but not socially. So, we put her in a Spanish Immersion Magnet School. She was not bored because she was learning the same K curriculum but everything was spoken and written in Spanish. She has become a leader and has flourished. Now that she is near the end of first grade she is biligual with a beautiful, authentic accent (not Southern). We have no regrets about giving her "the gift of time."

My DS is another story. We held him back because he wasn't ready for K. After he did go to K we had him tested for learning differences. If we had know that he was LD we never would have held him back.

Lori

 

[my3kids]

I have two boys and went against the hold them back idea and I'm so glad we sent them when they were 5. I kind of figured the state set a date and I didn't have any compelling reason to not think they knew what age they wanted the children to start. I went against the pre schools advice and sent my late summer 5 year old son to kindergarten. He has excelled. I feel so much of early learning is developmental....yes the 6 year olds probably do learn to read in kindergarten, but the 6 year olds in first grade do too. They usually "get it" at 6, regardless of the class they are in. When they 7, the reading takes off. The 7 year olds in second grade are provided with an enriching and demanding curriculm. The 7 year olds in first grade are capable of the same challenge, yet the first grade curriculum is geared for the child learning to read. The text books are learning to read, not reading to learn.

A friend held her son back to start. He is now in his 20's. She said from the time he hit high school that holding him back was the biggest mistake she ever made. He was emotionally ready to be on his own, but was still in high school.

It is a gut wrenching decision for parents to make. Good luck in deciding which route to take.

 

[CEDmom]

Regarding the child the OP was asking about, is he being taught things at home like letter, numbers, shapes, colors etc.? If not and he is having trouble than it probably would make sense to hold him back but find a pre-school program for him. The expections even at the kindergarten level are quite high, at least in our area, because so many children have been in a daycare/school setting. It's almost unheard of around here for a child to enter kindergarten w/o already having attended some kind of preschool program.

ITA with however said childhood should be a journey not a race.

 

[sha_lyn]

Well I've experienced 2 sides of this issue. When I was little the cut off here was Dec 31. I missed it by 9 days, but was really ready for 1st (no PS K at that time). Mom sent me to a private K which was really at the level of what most young 4 preschool classes are now. I was bored and quit by Dec. I started 1st at 6 1/2. School came so easy in the beginning that I never learned good study habits, or really even how to study. I was among the first in the state to be in a gifted program (they started it when I was in 5th grade). It (not knowing how to study) wasn't apparent until HS when I started taking advanced classes. I was way over my head, and ended up leaving the gifted program at the end of 9 grade. 9 and 10 grade were spent learning how to study. by 12 I was an A student again, but it was too late for me to have a good GPA. Personally I think I just "matured" earlier and would have been much better off starting school a yr earlier. Sure I probably wouldn't have been in the gifted program if I started earlier, but I don't think I would have had the problems in HS that I did either.


DD is on the other side of the issue. Cut off here is now Aug 31. DD b-day is Aug 4. We started homeschooling DS for 7th grade,the same yr DD turned 4. We decided to send her to a private preschool so DS and I would have time together. We were planning to to PS K the following yr. Preschool went OK for her academically, but maturity wise she was behind. She was also much smaller than her classmates. By the end of the yr the teacher really felt DD was not ready for PS K, but that any preK program near us would be too easy for her. After my experience of being ahead in school, I really didn't want her to be in the same situation. I really tried to her her caught up during the summer. By the end of July is was very apparent she was not ready for K. We decided to homeschool DD for K and see what happened. She was not ready for K material in Aug so I used a preK curriculum. She took off with it and finished a yrs worth of material by Nov. By Dec we were using the K curriculum but at a slower pace.

This was 1 1/2 yrs ago. We are still homeschooling and I am very glad that we are. She is "officially" in 1st grade, but works at different grade levels. She is a yr ahead in math and about 1/2 yr behind in reading.

 

[BrerMom]

Originally posted by Pinnie
This is a topic near and dear to my heart. I am a teacher of our district's Young 5s program. It is state funded and offered at NO cost. It runs as an alternative K and the expectation of the district is that the children will attend K the following year. It runs 5 days a week, 3 hours a day on the regular K-12 calendar.

My classes consist primarily of boys who have late summer/fall birthdays, since our cut off date is Dec. 1. The parents opt to put them in our program for social as well as cognitve issues. I do get quite a few children who start the K program and the teacher recommends another year to grow and informs the parents about Young 5s.

Many districts in our state (as ours has) have switched to a LITERACY based K curriculum. Children are expected to already know the alphabet when they enter K. This past week, the Kindergarten teachers told me that they are doing "dictation" already. The teacher reads a 12 word sentence and the students have to write each word in a numbered box. In addition, they are expected to do a shared pen activity, be independant in journal activities and be able to be fluent in concepts of print.

There is little play time. That is why our program is so needed. Some of these children are NOT ready to be in a program that is that structured yet. Also, with No Child Left Behind, K is going to get even MORE academic!

PM me if you have any other questions and I would be happy to answer them

pin

This is absolutely true in our state. What middle schoolers are expected to learn now is incredible. Some of it I didn't see until college. What's to keep an immature kindergartener from being an immature middleschooler?

Originally posted by PoohGirl&Guy
We struggled with this issue with our oldest son (now 11). He has a May birthday. He did not seem socially ready for Kindergarten at age 5. A teacher gave us, what we felt was very wise advice: you can make a mistake by sending too early but you will never make a mistake by waiting. We ended up waiting to send him to Kindergarten until he was six and am very glad we did. Yes, he is almost a complete year older than some fellow classmates but yet has not had to struggle socially or academically like some others have. Athletics was never a motivating factor for us, but I have heard other parents mention this in regards to their own children.

Originally posted by RitaZ.
We did this with our middle child (DS). His birthday is in late July and I couldn't really see him sitting still and meeting the demands of today's K class. It was a tough decision to make, we went back and forth on it. DH felt that we should send DS, but in my gut I knew DS wasn't ready. I talked to our pediatrician about it, older DS's former K teacher, friends that worked at the school. They basically all agreed that I should go with my gut instinct.

We held DS back one year and allowed him another year of preschool. It was the best decision we ever made. We wanted DS to fit in socially and be mature enough to follow the class rules and expectations, NOT so that he'd be "ahead" of the class academically the following year. He is now in 2nd grade and is doing great. If we had to do it again, we would make the same decision.

Some more thoughts:
Ask around to find out what most people do in your area. If most wait, your friend’s intuition to wait is probably confirmed in yet another way.

Ask the elementary school for a list of things a kindergarten child will be expected to learn by the end of the year. For many people, especially if it’s their first child, will be absolutely amazed that things they learned in 1st, 2nd, and 3rd are now being learned in kindergarten.

The best advice I’ve heard is “If in doubt, wait.” I have only talked to one person who regretted holding their kid back a year.

In this day and age of moving for jobs, a child could easily end up in a state with a different cut-off. For example, my DD is in 7th grade. Our friend's DD is only two weeks younger, but missed the cut-off for their state, so she's in 6th grade this year.