Waiting in line

[tacomaranch]

I had just read another post and it got me wondering. What happen to good manners?

I have taught my DS to wait. It was hard but he knows wait. Unfortunately he doesn't move forward enough or he goes too much. Invariably he ends up last in line because kids jump que or push him aside.

Why don't kids just wait their turn? Is it just that I am old and this is the new generation?

 

[nessz79]

I don't think we can blame the generation itself. I think it's mostly parenting.

However, that being said, I have 2 boys. One is naturally quiet, shy, and will inevitably end up last in line. My other is more naturally assertive and outgoing...however, he will not push his way to the front of a line in his preschool. He's only 3 so it's a constant effort to get him to not be pushy with his older brother (who's 4) at our home. At his preschool, however, he minds his manners. Typical kids behave better in public than at home. I think when we have it wrong is when it's the other way around.

I think it comes from a lack of training MOSTLY. However, I know from my son, that no matter how much manner training you do, some are just naturally assertive. A constant battle.

 

[badblackpug]

I have to agree that is is parenting. I have a friend whose son is exactly like this. At home is is never told "no" or "wait." He is basicaly given whatever he wants when he wants it. His mother has good intentions at heart, she wants her chid to be happy, she doesn't want him to be without, but she doesn't realize that, in the long run, she is crippling him. The chid is totally unprepared for any environment that does not cater immediately to his wants. He has had multiple problems in school and camp, and WDW was a DISASTER.

What I usually do with the kids in line is I have them stand in front of us, that way if anyone is trying to push in front of us, they have to go through the adults 1st!

 

[LilGMom]

What I usually do with the kids in line is I have them stand in front of us, that way if anyone is trying to push in front of us, they have to go through the adults 1st!

This is what we do. That way we can gently nudge them forward when needed and the pushier types in line as well.

 

[PEANUT1]

I worry a little bit about the lines when we go next week. It is hard to teach a 3 year old about waiting her turn. That being said, I will not allow her to be rude to others and would never allow her to cut in front of someone else. Hopefully we will just use fast pass and have shorter wait times for most of the rides.

We live near Sesame Place in PA and have some practice with waiting your turn. I see some kids who push past others and their parents do nothing. It makes me sad. These kids are not taught boundaries and limits. They will have real issues later on in life.

Look at my ticker...i'm so excited I can hardly stand it.

 

[Sonar]

I would have to agree with nessz79 and point the finger towards parenting. At an amusement park in VA I was assaulted once for not letting a kid cut in line. Seeing him with his mother in court, I got an idea about how he was raised, and could easily see it was different than how I was.

I have a 3 year old daughter who is definitely in the “I have to be first” phase. As much as we prompt her to be assertive, we also have to reel her in when she goes too far. At times it isn’t easy, and I think that might contribute to why some parents don’t step in when they should. We’ve taken her to Hershey park a few times, and she has been good about waiting her turn, and next summer will be her first WDW trip (yay!).

 

[Luv Bunnies]

We also put our kids in front of us in lines so we can prompt them to move forward and always watch what they're doing. Sometimes they get distracted by something or they're deep in conversation with each other and they don't pay attention to how the line is moving. And my guys are 12 & 9 so it's not just a problem limited to little kids!

In my preschool class, lining up and walking in a line are skills we teach our kids. When they get to kindergarten, staying in line becomes very important both behavior-wise and socially (no one wants to stand in front of the kid who's always pushing and can't hold his own space).

I applaud everyone who watches their kids carefully while in lines and other enclosed spaces. It's so annoying and sometimes dangerous when kids are swinging on posts and chains. Once in line for Test Track, two boys were sliding along the tops of the poles and getting way ahead of their group. When they're group caught up they would continue sliding along, passing everyone in line again. My husband and I finally got sick of them sliding past us and kicking us in the process so we leaned on the posts and refused to move when they tried to get by. They finally gave up and stood with their group, but not after giving us nasty looks. Their parents obviously thought it was fine because they didn't tell them to stop.

 

[TheDizMom]

It's called parenting, or rather the lack there of . Some parents are so concerned with telling their children how wonderful and special they are to boost their self confidence, it sends the signal to their children that they are better then everyone else. Because they think so they automatically think they are more important then their peers, and therefore should get what they want, when they want it, no matter who they need to step on (or bypass) to do it. The sad part is their parents probably think their child is just asserting themselves, not butting in line . I fortunately or unfortunately have no problem telling someone's child who is butting in line to step back and wait their turn. Perhaps it's not my business to tell someone else's child what to do, but it is my job to protect my child and their spot in line.

 

[sharkmad]

these are the ME ME ME times.

 

[FamilyMcCord]

And that is the reason why we are having so much problem with our youth today because the parents are only thinking of themselves and not caring what their children are doing. They are going to do whatever they can to make the child happy so that they can have their Me Me Me time. So this is enforcing this behavior on their child and the cycle continues. When parents stop to think what they are doing is actually not good for the child then maybe then things will change. As I see it, it is only going to get worse and we are going to end up with more rude children who think they should have everything their hearts desire or they are going to throw a fit over it until they get it.

I know for me, I am teaching my DD(12) and DD(almost 2) that they don't get everything that they want and a little bit of giving on their end goes a long way. I have to tell you that I am doing something right because my DD12 did something extremely kind that it brought me to tears the other day. My DD12 saved up all of her allowance money from the year for our disney trip but she had been hearing the adults talking about paying it forward and such and what we are doing as a family to bring some cheer to some families t his year. So we were sitting down for dinner at Chilis the other night, and she had brought a card with her and all of her money with her and I asked her what that was for, and she said that she is going to pay for a couples dinner tonight because she wanted to show that there is still goodness. So we had her choose a couple in the resteraunt and she filled her card out. She then told the waiter that she was going to pay for their meal, and if he could please deliver this card to that table and that is was to be anymous. He did as she requested, the couple was an older couple, the lady almost began to cry when she opened the card to read what my daughter had wrote. Them not knowing who it was made it that much more special. After we had finished eating, we walked by their table and wished them a very Happy Holiday, and their eyes were twinkeling, so it made my daughter feel so much more special.

Anyways, my point is, if you teach your kids to not always expect things for themselves and give to others then in the long run our kids are going to be more respectful adults.

BTW...I kept all of my daughters money, and paid for it with my credit card so she will still have money for Disney. And we are going to be doing it again in Disney while we are there for another couple, going to be looking for a young couple this time. It is a nice way to give back.

 

[solfan68]

Major props to the OP and all of you who are teaching your kids good manners. DS5 is pretty good and we have never been hesitant to take him out in public. We have one couple we enjoy spending time with, and their kid is pretty good 80% of the time. But when he has a melt down he screams at his parents. Its really kind of an uncomfortable situation.

It's not easy getting the message through. Especially when they see other people who do push and shove 'get their way'. At the end of the day, the reward is knowing that we are doing the right thing and that our children will be better adults for it.

 

[SmallWorld71]

I had just read another post and it got me wondering. What happen to good manners?

I have taught my DS to wait. It was hard but he knows wait. Unfortunately he doesn't move forward enough or he goes too much. Invariably he ends up last in line because kids jump que or push him aside.

Why don't kids just wait their turn? Is it just that I am old and this is the new generation?

My 8 year old is very shy and would never be assertive in a group. Anyway, about a year and a half ago he was with his great-grandpa watching the Red Sox practice before spring training. When it was time for autographs, so many kids and adults shoved him out of the way that he was unable to get to David Ortiz who he was in line for. Anyway, the settled for a new pitcher who was completely unknown at the time. Now he has a much sought after baseball signed by the now well known, then rookie, John Lester.
Moral of my long rambling story: my son learned that it was O.K. that he was shy and sometimes the patient people win.

 

[brymolmom]

I agree - it is annoying to have people that upset about the lines. It is a great opportunity to teach your child to wait. If they don't wait or get 'in trouble' by you too many times (up to the parent) - they get out of line and don't go on that ride (OK, it's a vacation - so let them go on it tomorrow). I bet most kids won't let that happen again!

That being said, I also can't stand the people (adults mostly) who need to be right on top of you in line. You move up 2 inches and they need to fill in that 2 inches. I have a son who is very squirmy and needs to move around a little instead of staying dead still. So I intentionally give a little wiggle room between us and the people around us, but the people in back of us sometimes make that very difficult. I'm not letting anyone in - you'll still get on in the same amount of time and my son won't be bumping into others so stop crowding me!