WAGING PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE, U.S. DROPS VCR MANUALS ON IRAQ
Effort to Confuse the Enemy
The United States used drone aircraft yesterday to drop thousands of Samsung VCR manuals on Iraqi troops in the no-fly zone as part of an ongoing psychological warfare campaign, the Pentagon revealed today.
The VCR manuals were dropped in an effort to confuse the enemy, Pentagon officials said.
The decision to drop the perplexing, poorly written VCR manuals on Iraqi troops represents an upping of the ante in the U.S.s psychological warfare campaign, which had previously consisted of dropping intimidating pamphlets on the troops.
But the VCR manuals may have been more effective than the scary pamphlets, Pentagon officials said, as satellite photos showed Iraqi troops suddenly dispersing, presumably to go home and try to program their Samsung VCRS.
General Tommy Franks, the Commander-in-Chief of the US Central Command, came up with the idea of dropping the VCR manuals after spending Monday night attempting unsuccessfully to tape the latest episode of the CBS sitcom Yes, Dear.
If I couldnt make heads or tails of that darned instruction book, those poor Iraqis dont have a snowballs chance in hell, General Franks told reporters at a CENTCOM briefing in Qatar.
In other Iraq news, the editors of Architectural Digest have decided to cancel an upcoming photo spread of Saddam Husseins presidential palaces after the Iraqi strongman refused to give them unfettered access to the buildings.
The Iraqi dictator declared most of his spacious palaces off-limits, allowing the magazines photographer to take photos only of a hall closet and a breakfast nook.
****Borowitz Reports***
Effort to Confuse the Enemy
The United States used drone aircraft yesterday to drop thousands of Samsung VCR manuals on Iraqi troops in the no-fly zone as part of an ongoing psychological warfare campaign, the Pentagon revealed today.
The VCR manuals were dropped in an effort to confuse the enemy, Pentagon officials said.
The decision to drop the perplexing, poorly written VCR manuals on Iraqi troops represents an upping of the ante in the U.S.s psychological warfare campaign, which had previously consisted of dropping intimidating pamphlets on the troops.
But the VCR manuals may have been more effective than the scary pamphlets, Pentagon officials said, as satellite photos showed Iraqi troops suddenly dispersing, presumably to go home and try to program their Samsung VCRS.
General Tommy Franks, the Commander-in-Chief of the US Central Command, came up with the idea of dropping the VCR manuals after spending Monday night attempting unsuccessfully to tape the latest episode of the CBS sitcom Yes, Dear.
If I couldnt make heads or tails of that darned instruction book, those poor Iraqis dont have a snowballs chance in hell, General Franks told reporters at a CENTCOM briefing in Qatar.
In other Iraq news, the editors of Architectural Digest have decided to cancel an upcoming photo spread of Saddam Husseins presidential palaces after the Iraqi strongman refused to give them unfettered access to the buildings.
The Iraqi dictator declared most of his spacious palaces off-limits, allowing the magazines photographer to take photos only of a hall closet and a breakfast nook.
****Borowitz Reports***
