I've never been to V&A, but you can't compare it to anything else at Disney. V&A is it's own special class of dining.
I personally would want V&A for my wedding, but I am a foodie and I love long, drawn-out, leisurely meals with 5 star quality and service.
However, I do not think you would be disappointed if you went with Citricos. It's my absolute favorite restaurant in all of Disney. I went there 3 times in 2009 and each time, the food, the chefs, and the service were amazing. Even when I wasn't celebrating anything in particular, they made it feel like a very special meal. The food was outstanding in taste and quality, and for the personalized service and how delicious everything was, I thought Citricos was a good value.
I would try to talk the DF in to V&A. What better occasion for such a special meal than your wedding? On the other hand, it is his special day too, and you want to do something he will enjoy as well. I would show him some menus for V&A and if he just can't be talked in to it, then be comfortable knowing Citricos will still be fantastic! I'm sure they will make sure your wedding dinner is perfect.
If you want to see a review of Citricos, I did one in one of DR's, and will be doing another soon. If you just do a search on the DR board, you'll probably find lots.
