Very OT, maybe a lawyer in CT can help

[Mickey527]

I dated a guy way back in 1998. After 4 months he moved into my house. The mortgage is in my name only and I have been living here for 28 years. The house is not paid off because I had to refinance when my youngest turned 21 and i bought my ex out.
We were sharing the same room when he moved in. After a few months he claimed disability and lost his business, and all his money. I didn't toss him then because I still loved him. I found out over the past few years that this gong on SS is a family trait, they claim disability and collect usually before the age of 50. His daughter is trying to do it right now saying her new epilepsy is disabling her and she is only 21. He moved her in here for a few weeks but I told her to move out last week and she did.
He went on SS and collects less than $1,100 a month. Not enough to live on. Slowly our love chanced to friendship and he moved down to my basement where he has been since 2000. Everyone knows there is nothing between us but friendship. He gives me $500 a month to live here. I sometimes invite him to eat with us but on the average of 4 times a month.
Things have changed with him. He drinks way too much and I don't like it. He doesn't fight ro get rowdy, just falls asleep in the basement. Sometimes he does fight with my sons who are 22 and 26 but verbal, not physical. He also loves to tell me whenever they do something wrong, maybe thinkig I will take his side over theirs.
I told him last month that it is time he moves out and gets on with his life. He said I had better get a lawyer because it is going to cost me when he moves out because he has been paying my mortgage for the past 7 years. He has done some repairs on my house but he did the physical, I paid for everything we needed from Home Depot.
He did help me out when I was going through chemo by taking me to the treatments every week and visiting me when I was in the hospital. More than my boys did for me, but not enough to earn half of my house and everything in it.
What do I have to do to get him out? I did call a lawyer and they want $500 retainer just to talk to me. I am now on disability myself and very angry about it, I want to work but the chemo caused some major problems. Living in Ct is very expensive ad I can't afford anything extra like a lawyer.
I am going to FL in May and plan on looking at some houses there because I think it will be cheaper to live there than CT. But I want him out before I make the move, or even before I put this house on the market.
Anyone have any ideas? I was thinking of giving him a lump sum of maybe $10,000 when I sell the house and move just to get him. What do you think? Peggie

 

[mzzzh]

If you didn't put his name on the title...I think you got no problem.

I'm not a lawyer in CT though.

My opinion....kick the bum out and call his bluff on hiring an attorney. If you can't afford one, he won't be able to even more so.

Good luck.

 

[ducklite]

I'm not a lawyer, but I'd suggest you call legal aid or a local law school where they have free law clinics. My guess is that he's what's known as a "tenant at sufference".

Serve him with eviction papers. He is entitled to nothing, he's been a tenant, and only a tenant, and it's no different than if he was renting a house that you owned, but were still paying a mortgage on.

You can usually file eviction papers with the court clerk for a small fee without a lawyer. There will be an eviction proceeding and you'll both have to go to court. Unless he can show a document that was properly signed giving him any ownership capacity of the home, he's out. Once you've got an order of eviction from a judge, he'll have a determined number of days to vacate, and if he doesn't you can get the sheriff to come over and put him out.

Good luck--let us know how this one works out for you.

Anne

 

[Saffron]

I'm not a lawyer, but I watch Judge Judy a lot. LOL!

It seems to me, since he is not on the mortgage, he has no rights to your house. Did you have an agreement that he would pay the mortgage for you at any time? If so, maybe you would owe him those payments, but nothing else.

People who rent homes from a stranger are doing just that, renting a stranger's home. They have no legal rights to the proceeds from the sale of the house if the stranger/owner should decide to sell, you know what I mean? I don't see why it would be any different with the two of you, unless your state has some sort of "common law marriage" laws. You can find out if you do by looking it up on the Interent.

I do know that you would have to follow legal eviction procedures if you decide to kick him out. Again, something you can look up on the Internet, but you should really speak to someone who knows the laws in your state.

Anyway, I wouldn't give him a dime of your money until you were contacted by HIS lawyer. Then I would spend the money to retain a lawyer. Hopefully there is some sort of Legal Aid that could help you get a lawyer, IF he were to follow through with his threats, which I doubt. Some people think they are owed the moon because they did something nice for someone during a relationship. Not true.

Again, not a lawyer, not even close to one, just a Judge Judy watcher , so take my advise with a grain of salt please.



Good luck to you.

 

[AllyandJack]

Please don't offer him $10,000. I'm a lawyer, but not in CT. Don't offer him anything. If he's not on the Deed and he's not on the Note and, as you said, he's not on the mortgage, he has no claim to your home. CT doesn't allow the formation of common law marriage and, as long as you didn't live in a state that does and form one there, he's not entitled to half of everything you have.

You have a landlord/tenant dispute. Call the state bar and get the numbers of the legal aid places near you. Since you're disabled, you should qualify for the free assistance, but they can tell you that when you call. If not, call the court and see what you need to do to evict a tenant.

Whatever you do, make him no offers. The last thing you need is this guy claiming you had an agreement for him to move out and you to pay him to do it.

 

[Boo'sMom]

You definitely need to talk to Legal Aid. I can tell you from my own family's experience, this sort of thing happened to us last year, but in our case, my grandfather had let his housekeeper live with him for 5 years as she was in the same sort of prediciment your houseguest is in, only he passed away before he could get her to move out. My family had to have her evicted, and we cannot settle the will because she has filed a claim against the estate.
It's crazy, but even if your house is only in your name, he may claim some rights to it.

Good Luck

 

[joshsmom]

I'm not a lawyer--I don't even play one on TV. I have no advice because I don't know anything about these situations. But I wanted to give you my support and let you know that I'm hoping everything works out for you.

 

[AllyandJack]

I agree with the pp. Let him get a lawyer and sue you....for what....possibly the cost of his labor to make the repairs? That has to be less than $10,000.

That would be separate than the eviction proceedings, in a way. Whether he has to leave the home is a different issue than whether you owe him the reasonable cost of his labor. But, that's his issue to claim against you. Get the eviction going and, if he has the inclination, he can file a claim for his labor.

Most renters/tenants pay their landlord's mortgage. That's why people become landlords. If tenants could lay claim to their landlord's property.....well, let's just imagine that for a second. It wouldn't be feasible.

 

[daisyduck123]

I'm not a lawyer, so I don't really have any good advice about this, but...you mentioned going to Florida in May.....I don't think I would go out of town & leave him still living in the house, now that he knows you want him out. You never know what he might do.

I wish you luck in all of this.

 

[DVC Sadie]

Why not call the police and have him escorted out of YOUR house? Even if you allowed him to live in your house for awhile I don't see how he could possibly have any claim.

 

[MeanLaureen]

I'm sorry he's doing this to you Peggie

Don't let him strongarm you. He doesn't have a leg to stand on except for his attempt to manipulate and scare you.

Next time he has a bit too much to drink and gets in a shouting match with your sons, call the cops and have him taken out. Does he ever do anything that can even remotely scare you or your kids when he is drunk? If so, get a restraining order on him and he won't be able to come back.

If that doesn't work, Me and Matt and Jeff and Ed can come up there and knock some sense into him for you

 

[MorganLeFey]

I agree with Ally. What you have is a landlord tenant dispute, his claim that it's anything else notwithstanding.

You need him out before you put the house on the market in order to give clear title to the buyer.

You need to serve him with eviction papers. You can probably do that for yourself, without retaining a lawyer, but be prepared to spend the $$ for the lawyer if he refuses to leave. you may have to go to court and get an order eviciting him, and you may have to have the sheriff (or your local govenrment equivalent) forcibly remove him.

if you're going to pay for him to leave, I'd rathe rpay the lawyer and the sheriff than put even one cent in his pocket,

 

[EthansMom]

I'm not a lawyer, but my understanding is that, without a written lease, this man is your tenant on a month-to-month basis. You will need to start the eviction process to get him out. Here is a website I found that looks like it could help: http://www.jud.state.ct.us/faq/landlord.html

Also, once this man is out, pay to have your locks changed so that he can't use an old or copied key to get back in your house.

As long as this man isn't on your deed and he doesn't have anything in writing where you've promised him some part of the house, then he doesn't have any rights toward your home. Also, unless you agreed to pay for his labor around the house, then he was just doing it to be neighborly the same as when you cooked him dinner.

Don't cave to his extortion. Start the eviction process. If he becomes violent or threatens you after you've started the eviction process, file a restraining order.

Good Luck!

 

[Mandy_in_NC]

I work as a 911 dispatcher and I deal with this kind of stuff all the time. You need to call the magistrate and find out what you need to do to get eviction papers. You should be able to get the papers without having to have a lawyer. Usually with these papers he will have 30 days to be out. He has no claim to your house. THe house is not in his name and you guys do not live in a common law state. In a common law state after living together this long you would be considered common law married and he would then have a claim to the house I think. I am not a lawyer by no means. The next time he gets to drinking call the police and have him removed from your home. Also get a 50B (A restraining order) against him and he will not be allowed to come back to your home. Also once he is out please change all the locks. Also do not go to FL with him still in your house. He may decide to tear the place apart as revenge for you wanting him out. I hope this helps you.

 

[sha_lyn]

In a common law state after living together this long you would be considered common law married and he would then have a claim to the house I think.

I know it is a moot point since they are not in a common law state, however....
They haven't been a couple since 2000. He's been her tenant for 5 yrs. I highly doubt tenants would qualify as a common law spouse.

He said I had better get a lawyer because it is going to cost me when he moves out because he has been paying my mortgage for the past 7 years.

Has he been paying the mortgage company directly? Is the mortage equal to the amount that he has been paying? If not, I wonder how does he think he can claim he has been paying your mortgage? He has been paying you rent, nothing more, nohting less.