Venting…dentist office stuff.

[DisneyHardin]

Was your husband a patient first? At our dentist's office, I am the Primary in the household, but I'm pretty sure it's because I was a patient first then DH started going there, so they added him to my account.

 

[ronandannette]

...The electric, heat, water bills all came in the husband's name. It may not seem like a big deal but I felt like I was still at my parent's home and my husband was in charge. The biggest problem as TVguy mom's mentioned, it's a pain if that husband died or divorced. When we divorced and I lived in the house with the kids, The utility companies wanted me to pay deposits because I was a new person on the account. Things have come a long way but there is still some that need to work on it.

None of our bills have both our names on them; it’s either one or the other. We’ve been married for 27 years and have moved 4 times. Here when you move you have to close the accounts at the old address and re-open them at the new one. I presume whichever one of us called to handle that particular account is the one whose name is on it. I’ve never given any thought to what would happen if one of us died. I guess the utility company wouldn’t care as long as the bill kept getting paid.

 

[slo]

I’m 51yrs old, have been married 27 years and I’m old school - husband’s name goes first (this is my personal thought).

In regards to this post…..
If the dental office has the whole family on one account and each person has it‘s own branch on this account with the insurance listed to each, it shouldn’t cause an insurance issue. Normally, each person has a number for insurance - holder #1, spouse #2 and children #3. If the office account has the husband as the main person on their account, but have a #2 for insurance, then there’s no insurance problem.

Personally…would I leave my dentist for this? I would not, but that’s just me. If my insurance starts denying claims due to the office doing something wrong, I would give them a chance to fix it and resubmit claims.

Good luck with your decision.

 

[AppleDumpling]

Some of the examples given remind me of the military ID where the military members name is on front and you are a spouse or a dependent. When I first got married in the 70's, Montgomery Wards issued us a credit card, both cards had my husband's name on it. (I'm assuming my signature was on file with the application). 3 years later, they came into this century and issued the cards with our individual name on them. The electric, heat, water bills all came in the husband's name. It may not seem like a big deal but I felt like I was still at my parent's home and my husband was in charge. The biggest problem as TVguy mom's mentioned, it's a pain if that husband died or divorced. When we divorced and I lived in the house with the kids, The utility companies wanted me to pay deposits because I was a new person on the account. Things have come a long way but there is still some that need to work on it.

Yep, I can remember my grandmother having credit cards, from the time credit cards were first used in the 1960’s, that had her name as MRS. John Smith (my grandfather’s name). Her first name was never on the account, and it stayed like that for decades, even after she became a widow.

 

[kymom99]

None of our bills have both our names on them; it’s either one or the other. We’ve been married for 27 years and have moved 4 times. Here when you move you have to close the accounts at the old address and re-open them at the new one. I presume whichever one of us called to handle that particular account is the one whose name is on it. I’ve never given any thought to what would happen if one of us died. I guess the utility company wouldn’t care as long as the bill kept getting paid.

When my dad died his name was on the electric bill. Mom received a notice that they wanted to install a new meter. I called to set that up and mentioned the account was in my dads name but he was deceased. The girl said we were “breaking the law”. I swear. So my brother tried to call to get it switched to moms name but they wanted to charge her $250. After some back and forth he got them to waive the fee.

 

[sam_gordon]

I agree with @slo. This seems a strange hill to die on with ANY company. Of course, OP (and anyone else) can choose to do business (or not) with anyone they choose for any reason.

 

[Turn the Page]

clht:
I TOTALLY understand. After being married for 57 years and have always done 100% of any and all financial or serious decisions, I got so sick and tired of having DH's name first on each and every thing. We both worked full time for years. He wanted me to handle all categories of financial, stocks, etc. etc. etc. He is extremely handy with everything else. It has worked for us.

When I bought DVC, he didn't even know what it was and said he would sign anything (as I said, he wants nothing to do with bills, savings, etc. etc. as "I trust you implicitly"). We bought 5 contracts/2 memberships. He simply signed his name and could care less what it said. Disney, of course, put his name first on every one. I called my Guide and said if these names aren't reversed, I will cancel the contracts. Done in 30 minutes.

At a new State Farm agency (old rep dropped dead suddenly after with him for 50 years), I wanted my new car covered due to someone running into us and totaling the car. Sure enough, DH name is first. I told new agent it is still Joint but I want MY name on MY car to be first. I realize at my age it's stupid and emotional but I just can't stand it anymore.

I would change dentists. Go on your Next Door App and get dentist recommendations in your area.

I don't really care whose name is listed first on any of our stuff but your comment made me chuckle as I also handle all the day to day of our financial lives. I check in with DH periodically to discuss where we're at and outline larger goals for the next several months/year or whatever but he generally says "whatever you want to do" and then I'm pretty sure promptly forgets what we talked about.

I also just hand him stuff and say "sign here" and actually sometimes now asks why I don't just forge his signature and I tell him because it's a legal document and if it ever comes down to it I'm not going to be put in a position of having to exaplain why I forged your signature to a judge. Though I could. His signature is ridiculous.

But generally he just says ok and signs whatever it is. I ask if he wants to know what it is and he shrugs and says he doesn't care. I ask if he is concerned I might be draining all his accounts an running off to Europe and he shrugs and says they're all join accounts anyway so whatever.

Silly boys.

 

[HopperFan]

For what it is worth, we are both on my insurance.

They got a new computer system recently. The receipt I got today clear listed DH as the account holder and our address in the header info.

i was merely listed as a patient. First name only. (DH and I have different last names.)


I asked then about having a separate account, and…that is harder for us to handle, since both of us are on the same insurance.

Might be time for a different dentist. I’m not overly happy about staying, but finding a new dentist is also frustrating.

thanks for listening to me vent!

How would they submit insurance claims for a person they don't even have their last name in the computer?

The more I think about this dentists are doctors addressing your adult medical needs. Why do dentist offices put the adults on the same account? When both my kids were adults but still on our insurance they had their own completely separate accounts with the medical doctor, was even the same doctor. Our insurance was loaded in to each account and insurance holder (Dad) was listed as financially responsible BUT we did not have access to their accounts or information unless they showed it to us. Why isn't a dentist the same way? It is not difficult at all, sounds just lazy.

My son's bf is his and my other son's dentist and I am looking to switch. I'm going to ask him about all this because in my mind there should be no "family" account as adults, only for minors.

 

[DVCjj]

I don't really care whose name is listed first on any of our stuff but your comment made me chuckle as I also handle all the day to day of our financial lives. I check in with DH periodically to discuss where we're at and outline larger goals for the next several months/year or whatever but he generally says "whatever you want to do" and then I'm pretty sure promptly forgets what we talked about.

I also just hand him stuff and say "sign here" and actually sometimes now asks why I don't just forge his signature and I tell him because it's a legal document and if it ever comes down to it I'm not going to be put in a position of having to exaplain why I forged your signature to a judge. Though I could. His signature is ridiculous.

But generally he just says ok and signs whatever it is. I ask if he wants to know what it is and he shrugs and says he doesn't care. I ask if he is concerned I might be draining all his accounts an running off to Europe and he shrugs and says they're all join accounts anyway so whatever.

Silly boys.

EXACTLY my life. He has no idea if we are total paupers or have a million dollars. We have a joke around here and it's "Sign by the Mickey Head". The Disney contracts (the ones that had to be redone) had a Mickey head (or a Palm Tree....can't remember which was for us to sign) so whenever he needs to sign anything, I just say "Sign by the Mickey Head". He asks no questions. I shake my head.

Let's meet in Paris.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I went to the dentist today for some work (as opposed to a cleaning). I’m not fond of this office, been a patient for ~2 years, since our previous dentist retired. DH also goes to this dentist. For what it is worth, we are both on my insurance.

They got a new computer system recently. The receipt I got today clear listed DH as the account holder and our address in the header info.

i was merely listed as a patient. First name only. (DH and I have different last names.)

They gave me two different reasons why…1st was-oh, you must be on your husband’s insurance. Umm No, we are on my insurance. The other explanation they gave me was my DH is considered by them to be the head of the household. This explanation did not fly with me either, as this is 2022, not 1952..

I asked then about having a separate account, and…that is harder for us to handle, since both of us are on the same insurance.

Might be time for a different dentist. I’m not overly happy about staying, but finding a new dentist is also frustrating.

thanks for listening to me vent!

I read your post to my husband while he was eating lunch. He choked on his food when I got to the bolded line, then said, “Oh ****, that’s how things started to go sideways in The Handmaid’s Tale.” Find a new dentist and try not to get shipped off to The Colonies.

 

[pweyl36]

The only thing that would concern me is that she said they have different last names and her last name is not in the system. If the insurance is in her full name as primary insured, there might be issues with delays matching up the insurance records and the patient records. I think they should include the full names of all patients in their system for that reason, especially since it is not unusual to even have a third last name for dependent children.

I was going to say the same thing, when the ins denies the bill they will change the names.

 

[ShirikiUtundu]

Because who is listed first/second has no bearing and doesn't matter, that's why.

it might not matter in your line of work but for insurance purposes it definitely matters that the full name of the policy holder is correct or else claims don't get billed properly.

 

[daisy2013]

Ok, sure. Should we also ask them what they prefer to report as income and/or deductions? C'mon, who is listed first is hardly an issue, anywhere. FWIW, we're on my wife's insurance, and she's listed first, and I couldn't care less. She also earns more than I do, therefore she's technically the "higher taxpayer" but guess what, I'm listed first on the tax return! Doesn't seem to bother her at all.

I can just imagine the looks I'd get asking a client, if they have a preference who is listed first and who is second

Oh please. Our law firm uses the name of which ever parent called us the set up the consultation as the first name on the file and any subsequent petitions we have to file. The other parent, if there is one, is secondary. No confusion. No issues. If we were asked to change it we would. And it has nothing to do with the legal advice I give them.

 

[DLgal]

I was going to say the same thing, when the ins denies the bill they will change the names.

Nah, they will just pass the bill along to the patient.

 

[Turn the Page]

EXACTLY my life. He has no idea if we are total paupers or have a million dollars. We have a joke around here and it's "Sign by the Mickey Head". The Disney contracts (the ones that had to be redone) had a Mickey head (or a Palm Tree....can't remember which was for us to sign) so whenever he needs to sign anything, I just say "Sign by the Mickey Head". He asks no questions. I shake my head.

Let's meet in Paris.

Je t'aime, Paris!!!! After that, London.

 

[daisy2013]

Oh also when my law school sent me a solicitation for a donation made out to Mrs Husband first name and last name. I email the dean and explained that I was the graduate not my husband and they only have his name because he was my guest at a reunion. He called me and personally apologized for it. It is something he thought was changed and I am. Not the only female graduate to complain. I sent them and extra donation that year after they sent me another solicitation in my name .

 

[HopperFan]

Oh also when my law school sent me a solicitation for a donation made out to Mrs Husband first name and last name. I email the dean and explained that I was the graduate not my husband and they only have his name because he was my guest at a reunion. He called me and personally apologized for it. It is something he thought was changed and I am. Not the only female graduate to complain. I sent them and extra donation that year after they sent me another solicitation in my name .

It comes down to RESPECT.

If I had gotten your solicitation, I'm afraid my email would have been "ugly" ... I graduated married but made sure my maiden name, MY NAME, my family name was on that diploma. Want to poke the bear, call me Mrs. XX XXX - hello none of that respects me as a person.

I LOVED LOVED my MIL. But my Mom would laugh so hard at me getting upset that she would send cards to us as "To a Son and his Wife" ............ I took it as a generational thing but I would never ...

 

[kymom99]

It comes down to RESPECT.

If I had gotten your solicitation, I'm afraid my email would have been "ugly" ... I graduated married but made sure my maiden name, MY NAME, my family name was on that diploma. Want to poke the bear, call me Mrs. XX XXX - hello none of that respects me as a person.

I LOVED LOVED my MIL. But my Mom would laugh so hard at me getting upset that she would send cards to us as "To a Son and his Wife" ............ I took it as a generational thing but I would never ...

My goofy SIL who is in her 60s insists on sending cards addressed to Mrs. John Doe. . And to my son it was Master Bob Doe. What the heck.

 

[TAX GUY]

Oh please. Our law firm uses the name of which ever parent called us the set up the consultation as the first name on the file and any subsequent petitions we have to file. The other parent, if there is one, is secondary. No confusion. No issues. If we were asked to change it we would. And it has nothing to do with the legal advice I give them.

Good for you and the firm you're at. I don't really care what your practices are for your clients or how you create your files.

If a client asks to change the way we list them, of course we would change it, because..... It doesn't matter. I'll say it again since you probably couldn't be bothered to read all the replies, if it's an existing female client that gets married, she stays as the first listed (taxpayer) and hubby is listed as the spouse. Why? Because it's easier that way since she's already in the system and adding a spouse is much easier. If they are new clients, our default is husband first, then wife. Just like your firm has a default putting who the caller is first, that's our default.

Sorry a few of the posters are so offended by that. It's really not that big of deal.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Is it the 2020s or the 1950s? Quite confused here