Vent

[doxdogy]

I don't get another checking account because Thom could get access to it (since he's my power of attorney and still legally my husband-although we are legally separated and going through the process of divorcing.)

When I worked for a stock transfer agent and someone was using a power of attorney for stock transfer it had to be certified within 5 business days as being in full force and effect and that the maker was still living. Check with your bank and see if they also have a similar policy. I have an account in my name only, and the bank will not discuss specifics with my husband. If he makes a deposit for me, they blank out the amount in the account on the receipt they give him. I would also password protect the account.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

you do that, Becki. I opened up my own bank accoutn 3 days after I walked out on my now-ex husband. and a few days after that I realized I should have had a separate account even while we were married -- the SOB emptied our joint account and I had to borrow money so that I could buy subway tokens to get to work.

 

[Jenzebelle]

Seriously, go to another bank if you have to. There is no reason for him to know you even have another account.

I would get that POA revoked even sooner. I can't stress to you enough how essential it is to have a checking account and savings account to use. If you can't use the one you have, you need to open another ASAP.

 

[aprincessmom]

I had a separate checking account even when I was married. Because mine was the only name on it, my then husband couldn't transact business in it unless I were dead or granted him power of attorney. Otherwise he had no access to it.

But it is still considered a marital asset and he could lay claim to the money it (or half the money in it) if he so chose during the divorce. There's a big difference in having access to an account and laying claim to the money in the account. Maybe they were telling you he could still go after that money.

I can't believe any bank in the US would allow people without your permission to withdraw your money unless ordered by legal authorities.

 

[honeywolf7]

I have always dealt with Wachovia (and they're the ones who told me he could get to my account) so I'll have to find out what the best other bank around here is (I'll ask some of my friends what bank they use)....as soon as I find out, I'll go in and talk to them. I get worried about him being able to get into my bank account because of the fact that he's done it before and because when he's in a manic episode (from his bipolar disorder), one of the main symptoms is that he goes through money very quickly.
Aprincessmom, as I said he did it when we were married with a savings account that I opened in my name only.

 

[disneyjunkie]

How will he know you've opened an account at another bank?

 

[Chrissi Pooh]

Seems to me that if you don't tell him about the account then he wouldn't know you have one and the only way he can get your money since you say you are legally separated is if he finds out in court and trys to fight you for it. On the other side of that if you are legally separated then the court records should show that and you are not responsible for him and he's not responsible for you, at least that is the way it works here, I just went through a divorce and this is what the courts say.

So if it's legal separation get your account, don't tell him and live happily ever after....let me guess, that's not enough, right???

 

[ChiTownZee]

Hey has power of attorney over you, currently? Why? And can't you just revoke it if you gave it to him? (which I don't understand why you would unless you were SERISOULY sick.)

 

[honeywolf7]

Chrissi Pooh, no that would be perfect....there's no reason to tell him everything anymore. I would have to hope that it didn't come out in court but I don't know how it would. I know you can't find out about someone's bank account just from knowing their SSN.
ChiTownZee, I gave it to him while I was pregnant with Jessica and just never took it away. I also still have his. Does there have to be a person who has your power of attorney or can I take it away from him without giving it to someone else?

 

[ChiTownZee]

No one has POA over me, never did, nor I over my husband, even when I had my daughter. I didn't know people did that. And I've NEVER heard that people had to have someone with POA over them.

 

[honeywolf7]

Well, that's good....I would prefer nobody had power of attorney for me. I have another question for the legal experts....as it stands right now, if Thom and I were both to die before Jessi and Bobby were grown up his sister would get them....she is extremely self-centered and I don't want her to get the kids....is there any way for me to change who would get them if we were both to die (I know it's unlikely, but still....)?

 

[WillyJ]

Unless a person feels there is some reason they can't or may not be able to handle their own legal and monetary issues, there is absolutely no reason to let anyone else have power of attorney. .

I know when my mom went into major surgery a few years back she gave my father power of attorney so he could handle any decisons and sign anything that might require both of thier signatures while she was recovering and couldn't, or in case something went wrong and he had to make decisions about dealing with further treatment if she was unable to. . .

. . but as soon as she got through it and recovered, she revoked it, and just resumed her legal right to make her own decisions... as I recall it wasn't a complicated process at all and was handled with a phone call and 5 minute trip to the lawyers office to sign a piece of paper. .

 

[missymouse3367]

I hope this all works out well. I would always give money order or cashiers check, ayou just never reeally know someone.

 

[honeywolf7]

Willy, my mom had me give it to her when I was 18....obviously, once I was married I didn't want her to have it anymore so I just assumed I should let my husband have it (although, I did insist that if I gave it to him he would give it to me.) My mom and dad also have Power of Attorney for each other.

 

[NancyIL]

OK...I'm not a lawyer - but my husband and I each have wills that names the guardian of our children - in the event that both of us die. If Thom has custody of the kids, I imagine it is his will that will be followed. If you have joint custody - I imagine whoever is the surviving parent gets the last word. You need to update your will, now that you are divorcing.

 

[honeywolf7]

We're going to have/do have joint custody. I don't want to cause a bigger battle between our families in the case that we do both die, but I have very strong feelings on this issue.

 

[jipsy]

You need to be discussing all of this with your divorce attorney, not with the DIS.

 

[honeywolf7]

I know I need to discuss it with my attorney, but I would like to have some idea of what I'm talking about when I go to her.

 

[caitycaity]

i've never heard of people giving power of attorney unless there was some serious medical reason. no one has ever had poa over me, and i don't understand why your mom would want you to give her poa when you were 18?

 

[honeywolf7]

At the time, I was moving to Colorado and she thought there might be business matters that needed to be taken care of by me here in Virginia and by having my POA, she could do so. It's actually similar to the reason that she had my dad's POA before they even got married (he had a business here and was living in Florida while she was living here.)