Vent. When someone buys the gift you've been saving to buy for them...

[GoldieSaysMeep2]

Edit to add: I know he didn't actually *buy it* but still..

I can't access the email I use to reset my real password and I'm bummed out enough over this that I made a new user id. I just need to vent.

I've spent the last 2 1/2 month working my butt off to save up enough to get my boyfriend a Wii for our anniversary in a few weeks. He's always talking about how he wishes he had one, and all the games he wanted to play on it, one in particular. So I decided to make it happen for our anniversary. It's our first year and his first year (ever, with anyone).

No, we aren't kids. We are in our mid 30's. So I feel stupid for being so upset over this.

I get Target cards as merit rewards from work and I've been taking on extra work, etc. to earn as many as I can. They are $20 cards. As of today I was so proud of myself because I saved up $160 worth. I'd easily be able to earn enough before the day to buy the Wii and the game he wanted.

So what happens? Last week, he comes over all excited because his brother (who he owns a house with) bought them a Wii for the house & that game. (and every other game my boyfriend wanted).

Now, I realize it's his brothers. When/If they ever move, the brother will take it with him. But that won't be for years.

Now he no longer wants one of his own.

And the worst is, he knows I'm upset about something but I haven't told him why because I know he'll feel awful even though he did nothing wrong. I just told him I had a rough day.

Now, I haven't been saving up cash to get him a gift, because I counted on this. And now I'm stuck with $160 in Target cards. There is nothing else at Target he'd want for an anniversary and I don't shop there that often. I chose them for my merit specifically because I know they always stock Wii.

I honestly don't even know what else I could get him. I was so very proud of this. I thought it would make his year.

And it did, when his brother got them one.

No, I'm not close to his brother. His brother had no idea I was planning this either.

I don't think my backup user id can post a poll yet... so:

Should I just get him the Wii as planned so he can put it away in case they ever sell the house and he moves?

Or should I just scrap the idea and try to come up with something else? The only other thing I know he really wanted as bad as he wanted the Wii is a tv I can't afford.

 

[HighClass]

Do you have a super Target? I'd use the cards for groceries, or makeup, toiletries etc for yourself.

Anniversaries-I like to go out to eat=esp since yours is just a "dating" one and not a wedding anniversary.

I think buying a gift for a dating anniversary sounds (sorry) sort of "high-school-ish"-YKWIM???

 

[stsomewhere]

BUy the Wii and keep it at your house for both of you to enjoy there.

 

[GoldieSaysMeep2]

Do you have a super Target? I'd use the cards for groceries, or makeup, toiletries etc for yourself.

Anniversaries-I like to go out to eat=esp since yours is just a "dating" one and not a wedding anniversary.

I think buying a gift for a dating anniversary sounds (sorry) sort of "high-school-ish"-YKWIM???

This is a huge deal to him because he's never had a gf for more than a few months, let alone a year. And I consider myself fortunate to have a guy who remembers the date.

We're not really "go out to eat" people. Well, we are sometimes but he'd insist on paying.

I know, I was thinking go away somewhere, have an amazing meal, get massages or something like that. Only problem is now close to $160 of the $250 I was allotting for an anniversary gift is wasted in Target cards.

I think I am just going to tell him why I'm upset. I hate keeping things from him.

Does anyone know if Target sells Amex cards or Visa gift cards?

 

[donald&daisy]

I think its nice to get a gift for dating anniversaries. I'm 25 and I have been dating my Dbf for 3 years and we get each other gifts every year. One year I got a picture box at Things Remembered, one year I got him a watch, and one year I got him (us) Jimmy Buffett tickets. Maybe you could find him a nice watch at Target? Otherwise, I guess you could give him like $100 in Target giftcards and label them like a Wii game fund...there's always new, fun games coming out!

 

[suejai]

I hate it when that happens, especially when it's something good that you know they really wanted. We have a rule that no one is allowed to go get themselves anything before Christmas starting in October, to avoid this situation.

If I were in your shoes I probably wouldn't get it for him anymore.

 

[etoiles]

You could sell the cards on Ebay. I wouldn't sell the entire amount at once but sell it in smaller amounts like 20-60 dollars. The gift cards I have seen sell only 1-2 dollars below the actual value and then you would have cash to do with whatever you want. Or, buy presents for birthdays or Christmas for other people at Target.

 

[Handbag Lady]

Tell him, it is the thought that counts. He'll appreicate that you tried so hard to work and save up for the gift.

I think it is always best to tell the men in our lives why we are upset. First, they can't read minds. Second, they need to know if they've done something wrong so that they can repair whatever it is, or at least explain what or why they did something. (This is for this situation, but also for future issues. What if you are at a party and he pours soda for another gal and doesn't see that your glass is also empty? Things like that would tick me off but my husband would never notice.)

Is there not maybe a digital camera at Target that he may want? Or perhaps a new Wii game coming out that he and his brother hasn't purchased yet? Maybe he needs a new thing for the Wii, like the driving wheel or any of the other things one can buy with a new video system.

 

[GoldieSaysMeep2]

Thanks all.

Yeah, I tell him everything & vice versa. That's our rule. Since day 1. Open & honest. That's one of the reasons he is excited about the "year" because he's never date anyone who would just talk to him about stuff before. He's a great guy. He deserves the best.

Good suggestion about keeping it at my house. I didn't think of that, but he is here 3-4 nights out of the week.

I also like the game fund too.

He is a pretty avid gamer. Between him and his brother, they have pretty much every system from the Atari on forward.

I knew I could count on you guy (and gals) to come up with some good ideas..

 

[diznygirl]

I definitely like the idea of buying the Wii for your house. It is an anniversary gift for your both, and an investment in the future (if you want to look at it that way) for when you guys are living together and/or married.

Happy Anniversary!

 

[skuttle]

Aw, what a bummer. Similar thing happened to me for Christmas. DH and I bought his mom a digital picture frame. She LOVES pictures so we knew she would just love the frame. She cried the Christmas before when we gave her a calendar full of pictures of her grandkids. In preparation of the tears, we even wrapped a box of Kleenex for her to open first. Well, DH's parents arrive at our house for Christmas, and she starts raving about the digital picture frame DH's step dad gave her. I was SO bummed. We still gave it to her and she liked it, it just lost that "wow" factor.

I would get the Wii like you planned, give it to him and then explain that that's the reason why you were upset. Then say he can keep it at your house to play when he stays over.

 

[DisneyBlonde]

Well, they will need games for the Wii, right? You can take him on a shopping spree for games. Or you can get the Wii to keep at your house, so he can play there.

 

[DMickey28]

I would tell him why you were so upset and then suggest that maybe you guys get it together and keep it at your house. Then you would have it too. An anniversary gift for both of you and a growing/loving experience together as well ...

 

[torinsmom]

There are lots of new games coming out in the next few months. Maybe find out which ones he is interested(let the brother in on your plan and he can find out for you) Those new games are usually $50, and some, like Guitar Hero and Rock Band, are even more. It was a very sweet thought you had, and I'm sorry it got ruined!

Marsha

 

[GoldieSaysMeep2]

Thanks everyone.

Skuttle, that's too bad about the frame. That's exactly what I mean though. It's lost the "wow" factor.

I'm liking the idea of getting him one for here. I cook a lot so when I'm cooking, I usually have him just go surf the net or watch sports or something else I wouldn't be doing.

I know we'd play it together and I know it would make him happy to share the games with me. We have a PS3 hooked up here, and we play a lot of 2 player games together. I know the Wii is a bit more active, so maybe that is the best way to go.

But then again, I like the game spree idea too.

 

[onelilspark]

So I wanted a Wii, but my boyfriend talked me out of it because he said that a lot of people tend to buy one and then it loses it's shine. (I still want one...don't tell! ) BUT hold off on buying one for the both of you. Tell him why you're upset, a PP mentioned men aren't mind readers (as much as we think they are!) He'll most likely think you're being ridiculous for being upset, but be touched that you are upset because you cared so much.

I wouldn't let him know how much you saved so far. Hang onto it. If you've still got some time to go, you might come up with something else he wants. (Or new games, etc.)

 

[GoldieSaysMeep2]

a guy friend and I were just chatting about this and he thinks it would be fun if I just totally shocked bf and took him to Target and pretend I have to pick up some small thing, like socks or a utensil or something.

And then wander towards the electronics aisle where they keep the Wii, games & the tv he wants. While he's standing there, just kind of smile at him, take the cards out of my purse, and hand them to him and say something like "bunch of games, your own Wii, or almost enough to buy that TV if you wanted to....either way, we're not leaving til you have yourself a shopping spree"

Thoughts? My friend said if his gf did that, he'd be in man heaven lol.

 

[GoldieSaysMeep]

subscribing with my real id.

 

[MushyMushy]

I really like the idea there at the end! I think he'll be thrilled.

I can totally related to what you just went through though. A couple of years ago, I'd been saving up to buy my husband a guitar for Christmas... well, I saved up the money, but I was going to take him shopping for it the day after Christmas. I really wanted him to have a nice guitar since the one he had was starting to warp for some reason.

November came along, and he came home with a new guitar. I was TICKED! Our rule always had been not to shop for ourselves in the months leading up to Christmas, as well as not spending over a certain amount of money without consulting the other. Jerkwad. I still remind him that he could have had a nicer guitar if he'd held out for Christmas.

 

[GoldieSaysMeep]

MushyMushy, that has to be sooo frustrating.


So I just talked to BF's best friend. He thinks I should still get him the Wii and he also pointed out that BF will appreciate the effort etc so much & also, will be happy to have his own so he can get Wii points and download stuff etc.

I feel a lot better hearing it from someone who he's known his whole life. I think I will probably end up just getting the Wii.

I will have to be sure to post an update once this is all over...