Vent- Just have to get it all out! Sorry

[OceanAnnie]

That sounds so stressful. You were good to your parents. You helped them. Be good to yourself. Don't beat yourself up over your decision.

I agree w pps, don't say a word to family about the mess. Try to take bigger steps towards cleaning it out. Maybe a charity can send a truck to haul some of it away. I hope it all goes faster for you and that the repairs to the house won't be too costly.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I've seen a TV show that does this. - It's called "Clean House." They come in to really cluttered homes, hold a huge yard sale, and use the money to redecorate. If you google them, I bet you could get on.

 

[BelleWDW]

I have had these hoarding talks with lots of people when they went to clean out a parent's home after they died.


Hoarders-or eldery today-lived thru the Great Depression and see value in every thing they have.

My MIL wants to donate old, old 20 year old polyester outfits to Goodwill-I cant see anyone buying her junk-i say throw it. But you cant tell an old person that.


I agree with the others-throw it out without telling them

 

[NotUrsula]

My MIL wants to donate old, old 20 year old polyester outfits to Goodwill-I cant see anyone buying her junk-i say throw it. But you cant tell an old person that.

Not that I think that the OP should tell her parents she's cleaning out the house, but on the above issue, Goodwill CAN use those donations. Things that they cannot use for sale in the stores are baled and sold by the pound to go out for recycling. They still get SOME value for it, which you can't say for something that ends up in a landfill.

 

[Claudia1]

One person's junk is another's treasure. I can't tell you how many stage props or costumes I have made from Goodwill or charity purchases!

Yes, junk is junk but don't think that out of fashion clothes are worthless.

 

[metime]

Here is what I would do. First I would rent a dumpster to be picked up at the end of every week and fill it with all the crap until the house is empty.

As I am filling the dumpster I would save a box of stuff that you can cary like Christmas ornaments or photo albums.

Then when your parents aren't looking put the box somewhere in their house.

If they ever ask about their stuff that was at your house simply say, "I dropped that off a long time ago at your house." Then say, "I remember I put it in XYZ room becuase I couldn't find anyother place. oI remember that one box had _________ and ____________ in it."

Then your parents may eventually find said box and be convinced all the other stuff must be there too. Or you can brave a trip and say, "here is one box, but I guess the other stuff is buried."

I am betting that they will not really want to do the work of looking and will have to take your word.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Here is what I would do. First I would rent a dumpster to be picked up at the end of every week and fill it with all the crap until the house is empty.

As I am filling the dumpster I would save a box of stuff that you can cary like Christmas ornaments or photo albums.

Then when your parents aren't looking put the box somewhere in their house.

If they ever ask about their stuff that was at your house simply say, "I dropped that off a long time ago at your house." Then say, "I remember I put it in XYZ room becuase I couldn't find anyother place. oI remember that one box had _________ and ____________ in it."

Then your parents may eventually find said box and be convinced all the other stuff must be there too. Or you can brave a trip and say, "here is one box, but I guess the other stuff is buried."

I am betting that they will not really want to do the work of looking and will have to take your word.

Metime...that is pretty good. I like it. However OP this will only work if you give them the stuff at the end.

In fact I might make it one box.

 

[EthansMom]

You've been living with your parents' junk for 5 years? Get rid of it!

If I were you, I'd have a dumpster delivered, hire a few high school age kids, and have a tossing party. Start with one or two rooms... or even the garage. Save a few boxes of important stuff (photos, papers, etc..) to take to Mom and Dad's and junk the rest.

Once you've got the house dejunked, have the carpets replaced and the walls painted. You'll find yourself MUCH happier with the house once it belongs to YOU instead of to your parents' junk.

 

[shortbun]

You bought the house for full price. The junk is yours. Do with it what you want. They'll either get over it or they won't. I don't see that you need to even mention it to them. Will they even ever ask for it? 1-800-GOT-JUNK?

 

[hereyago]

First, you cannot help someone who doesn't want help. You could call the codes and compliance or health inspector and call about your parents new house.

Go through a room at a time as another poster suggested. Pick what is salvagable, have a yard sale, you might as well make some money to fix the repairs. Some stuff can be donated and other stuff can be trashed.
10 to 1 you will have to have carpets replaced, exterminator come in.
Don't tell them jack about the stuff or what you are going to do.
It is going to be shame when they pass away, because guess who is going to have to clean their new house up?
Let your sister take care of their mess.

 

[manning]

one word solution


DUMPSTER!!

We did that with my MIL house when she died. Had it cleaned up in one day.

Unfortunately we used half of our garage for things BIL wanted to keep. After two years he hasn't come for them. In mid sept our city is having an amnesty day. You pay for two bags of garbage and after that put anything you don't want out on the curb with it.

The BIL has been told he has until the weekend before amnesty day to get it out or it all goes to the curb.

 

[Rafiki31]

Wow everyone thank you so much for the support! I feel so much better having read all of your responses. I was so upset this morning I felt like a bad child. lol.


I should have mentioned, I have gone through EVERY room except the garage & basement. Oh and attic eeeeek. I cleared out all the rooms I live in when I bought the house, it took me about a month. I have since over the years ripped up carpets, put in hardwood and repainted all of the walls. I had to have the dumpster come twice already when clearing out the liveable space. The wallpaper took a LOT of time. So the part I live in is clean and looks nice. The bathroom needs a total overhaul, but due to the fact that the previous owners (AHEM, thanks mom & dad) used some sort of weird vinyl wall stuff and glued it to the tile, it now will cost a fortune to re do. Unless any of you know how to get that stuff off?


The only things left to be tackled are the "storage areas" the garage, basement, and attic. It is just going to be such a HUGE job, I was feeling very overwhelmed this morning. My parents do come by and look through the stuff from time to time, but I am getting it all OUT of here before the end of Sept. I just can't stand it any longer, I do not have anywhere to store MY STUFF> I do not have a lot though, I think seeing my parents way of life has made me a minimalist. I do believe in donating and trying to recycle, it is just an overwhelming task. ANd I need to move out of this house. I feel like it can never be MINE.


My best friend, her boyfriend and my boyfriend have all agreed to help me this long weekend, we are starting with the garage, and then going to try to get the basement done too. The attic will have to wait for another long weekend. I just have been embarrased to ask for help, its really bad if you see it you would be embarrased too!! Once we see what is in there, we will decide what to donate, what to toss, and what to send to my parents. I am going to try to send as little as possible to their home. I just feel like no matter how much cleaning and clearing i do, it is really an endless task. There is SO MUCH STUFF IN THEM!!! You would be amazed at how much people can stuff into a space.

It really scares me to think what will happen if anything happens to my parents or one of my parents. I know I am going to end up being the one to sort through all of that chaos at some point in my life. I just can't deal with it now, they do not want any help with it.

Once it is empty, I will try to deal with selling it. Those of you that said to wait, I think you are right!!!

Thanks again everyone, I will let you know how it goes this weekend!

 

[Hidden_Mickey]

I feel for you, I just watched a show on A&E called Hoarders... scary stuff ! We cleaned MIL's house after her death and after her BF moved out and took most of the stuff... It still took several days to rifle through the junk he left. I initially started sorting in earnest but eventually just got medieval and got rid of most of it. We had a yard sale where we sold stuff for a quarter or 50 cents, and I made over $150. At the end I was telling people to just take stuff. As long as it wasn't in my house I didn't care about the $! One lady filled her SUV to the rafters... All I could think of was what her DH would say! What was left stayed at the curb or was donated. Not one thing came back into the house. The worst was my kids who wanted to keep a bunch of stuff, lol. Her house was mostly empty so I cannot imagine cleaning up after a real hoarder. My DD takes after her grandma... When she "cleans" she dumps stuff in the closet and once in a while I open the door...Ugh. I occasionally have to show her how to sort into keep, toss or donate piles. I guess some people don't have the OCD organizational gene . Seriously, before we moved last year I donated or threw out SO much stuff. I just did it gradually, one closet or room per week. I also decided not to buy so much in the future. And if I do, I toss something else when I bring home the new stuff, so stuff won't accumulate. Good luck to you.

 

[luvmyfam444]

Anything that's left in the house after closing is yours to do whatever you wish with- both houses we've bought had stuff left - we got nice glassware @ one house & another junk -old boots & a birdcage.

I would continue to trash it or donate it - DON"T try to sell it - its too much work to get a yardsale together & you don't make anything - I know around here we have the rescue missions that will pickup things for free - you call & they'll bring a truck - usually just 1 time a week they['re in your area - you put it on the front porch& they'll get it...you don't even have to be home.

As far as your home - I'd go talk to another realator about how the house was sold to you without any updates being done - any violations that may be there - without having an inspection - you must not need one in your state? But isn't there some law about an agent selling you a house knowing there is a problem? Of course proving that may be an issue -

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would continue to trash it or donate it - DON"T try to sell it - its too much work to get a yardsale together & you don't make anything - -

I will have to disagree there. Even a little money to some of us is worth it. Esp. if she has repairs to cover.

 

[Disney Doll]

See bolded

I have had these hoarding talks with lots of people when they went to clean out a parent's home after they died.


Hoarders-or eldery today-lived thru the Great Depression and see value in every thing they have.

My MIL wants to donate old, old 20 year old polyester outfits to Goodwill-I cant see anyone buying her junk-i say throw it. But you cant tell an old person that.
With regard to old clothes...at my church we have a bin that is owned by a rag company. All the clothes that get put into this bin are turned into rags (like the box of rags you can buy at Home Depot), and the entity sponsoring the bin (in this case my church) gets paid a certain amount (I thinkit's by weight) for the contents of the bin every time it gets emptied. So, even old polyester clothes can be recycled. Most of those bin do that same sort of thing. I think the Salvation Army may go through their bins first & pick out some of the better clothes to keep and sell/give to those in need, but even they then sell the unusable stuff to rag companies. Our very close friends own a rag company out of NY...this is how I know this.
I agree with the others-throw it out without telling them

 

[EthansMom]

My best friend, her boyfriend and my boyfriend have all agreed to help me this long weekend, we are starting with the garage, and then going to try to get the basement done too. The attic will have to wait for another long weekend. I just have been embarrased to ask for help, its really bad if you see it you would be embarrased too!! Once we see what is in there, we will decide what to donate, what to toss, and what to send to my parents. I am going to try to send as little as possible to their home. I just feel like no matter how much cleaning and clearing i do, it is really an endless task. There is SO MUCH STUFF IN THEM!!! You would be amazed at how much people can stuff into a space.

Yay for friends! I recommend pizza, sodas, and beer to show everyone how much you appreciate the help.

Good Luck!

 

[HM]

I'm so glad you've got friends to come help you. I think having help is the key to your getting the last of it done. You've been overwhelmed with this for so long. It really isnt' your embarrassment....but your parents. You should not feel bad for what they left to you. Any good friend will understand and want to be there to help you out if they had the time. And I agree...have pizza or subs/beer and sodas for your and your friends when it's time for a break. You've gonna want them! Good luck with it all!

 

[disneyfav4ever]

I also think you'll feel differently about the house once it is cleaned out.

I say completely empty one room - two if you have the space which allows one to just be your sleeping area - but do not use the room you want for your final bedroom. Then put absolutely everything of yours that you want to keep in the room(s) and lock it/them. Hire a bonded junk company to clean out everything else out while you go vacation for a few days.

When you come back you can clean and repaint. Start with the kitchen and bathrooms. They should be the quickest and that way you can get your dishes, etc. put back. Then do your bedroom. Then the rest of the rooms in the order of most used.

I really like this idea. I would give them a date to come and get stuff by since it is your parents, and then do this.

 

[daisax]

Just wanted to lend my support and also tell the folks who say to pitch it all and not go through it... that can be really dangerous with hoarders. Because the deeds to property and their wills can be sitting in the middle of old copies of Good Housekeeping from the Carter administration.

Sadly, you can't take for granted that there won't be savings bonds mixed in with old utility bills or warranties for long-gone appliances.