Vent- I was rude this morning-

[pigletgirl]

Wow I would be livid too! That is totally unacceptable. I always want fair warning if someone is going to drop by (except dbf...he tells me he's coming and i just make sure I'm dressed. he just plops on the couch and waits...) because I AM hosting them and I want to make myself presentable to people.

 

[Took]

It def caused me to wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Then I had to get a call from my mom asking why I was so rude, which put me over the edge.

I am better now.

Sorry, but Mom is wrong on this one. You are never obligated to "be at home" to anyone, just because they decide to show up uninvited, especially at 8:30am.

Feel free to ignore the visitors and you mother, this time.

 

[PaulaSB12]

I really understand where the OP is going with this. I work alternate day shift and night shifts (monday tuesday day shift friday saturday sunday night shift this week). When I was looking to buy a new car I told the dealer that I was on night shift that weekend and please do not call before 4pm. So he rings at 2.45!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The reply wasn't board friendly nor was it polite as he woke me up when I said that you just woke me up he replied but can we talk about the car at which point the phone went down. I know it wasn't polite but I had asked him not to call that early and if I am woken up like that politeness doesn't wake up at the same time.

 

[laurie31]

It def caused me to wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Then I had to get a call from my mom asking why I was so rude, which put me over the edge.

I am better now.

Holy cow - HOW were you rude?? You were trying to sleep and they woke you up. Who gets up, dressed, and out of the house by 8:30 on a Sunday anyway? We go to church, and our alarm is set for 8:30. I wouldn't want anyone showing up then, as I stumble out of bed. Sheesh.

You should go visit them when you get off work. Just say you thought it would be nice to drop by and spend some time with them. Don't forget to act very surprised that they aren't up at 1am.

 

[vroomagain]

It def caused me to wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Then I had to get a call from my mom asking why I was so rude, which put me over the edge.

I am better now.

Wow! I am in the midst of finals and papers too, I barely have time to entertain my own two little ones let alone company. I would have been livid!

Of course, maybe they just miss you. I suggest dropping by their houses after work, knocking on their doors and windows until they get up and tell them that this is the only time you are available.

 

[vroomagain]

You should go visit them when you get off work. Just say you thought it would be nice to drop by and spend some time with them. Don't forget to act very surprised that they aren't up at 1am.

Yes! I should really refresh before I reply!

 

[disykat]

My inlaws "dropped in" from 400 miles away (yes, apparently there was no point in the 8 hours trip or the days of planning it when it occurred to them to call and see if we'd be home), saw my car in the driveway, rang my broken doorbell on the door we never used, and turned around and left - without even trying knocking.

I didn't know they were there until the phone rang and it was my neighbor saying my inlaws had just dropped off gifts for the boys. I ran outside but they were already gone.

The story all the relative got was that they had driven all the way to visit us and I refused to let them in. No mention that I never even knew they were there.

 

[supercarrie]

At least your relatives don't have a spare key.

A couple months ago, my husband and I arrived home after a horrendous 24 hour journey back from the US with no sleep (delay after delay) on a Sunday morning, just wanting to shower and sleep, to find his parents and 21 year old brother in our house. They then had the nerve to complain about us keeping them waiting! Uh...they "surprised" us, our flight was delayed, we didn't exactly keep them waiting. They chose to sit there, not knowing when we'd arrive. Then, when he asked them to leave, explaining we were very tired having been up for well over 24 hours, they got angry and refused to leave!

It wasn't our finest moment but we said goodbye, went into our bedroom and locked the door, leaving them to show themselves out. (And he took the spare key back from them on our next visit.)

 

[Tiggerlover91]

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

Next time, call 911 and say you're all alone in your home and someone is walking around your property knocking on the windows and you're too afraid to look out and see who it is.

OK, maybe not, but it sure feels good to imagine it.

 

[chell]

Have to agree with everyone else here, you were not the rude one! I don't like for people to just stop by either. I need advanced notice.

 

[EthansMom]

It def caused me to wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Then I had to get a call from my mom asking why I was so rude, which put me over the edge.

I am better now.

I'd be tempted to call these people about 2 a.m. some night and start chatting. See how they like it when someone has unreasonable expectations.

 

[ols386]

I don't like it when people just stop by unannounced. I appreciate a call-ahead.

Although, I know some people who do not mind unannounced visitors. My parents loved it when people just stopped by. They enjoyed talking and visiting with people/relatives whenever possible, even when people just popped in, without calling ahead. But me, not so much. I like my privacy, and I'm not that great at making small talk either.

If someone is going to stop by my house, I at least like to be showered and dressed, and sometimes, on the week-ends, I may not shower and dress until noon or later. Most of my relatives live 250 miles away, so the popping-in unannounced doesn't happen, where we live now. But when we lived closer to relatives, it did happen sometimes.

 

[meloneyb21]

OMG! I soooooooooo know what you mean! Someone stopped my house before and I was NOT trying to answer the door because A. they did NOT call and B. I was getting the kids ready for bed and C. it was like 10pm....so I'm ignoring them and I hear my nosy #%* neighbor saying "I know they're in there, they just got home..." ARGGGGH! I STILL didn't answer, and to say my neighbor got an earful the next morning is an understatement. She is the nosiest person I know!

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

You weren't being rude. These people don't respect your boundaries. Good luck on all you school work.

 

[tink_lover]

That's it exactly! Some people have no boundaries and totally disregard your wishes. My story is not about people arriving unannounced, but dh and I were returning from a horrendous trip home after adopting the boys....really long story short - we got caught in Austria after the airlines went on strike. Stuck at the airport with no visa for the boys. Stuck at the international side of the airport for 24 hours before they took pity on us and brought us to a Holiday Inn. Needless to say, we were beyond exhausted and the boys didn't fly back to the U.S. very well. I spoke to my mom and told her Please, no family at the airport. We understand people want to greet us home, but we are EXHAUSTED and just want to pick up our daughter and get home. I asked her to call MIL and explain. Guess what? We land in MN and there is an enormous welcome party - not my side of the family, but dh's side. I can now look at the pictures and laugh, but I wasn't laughing then. I was pissed and tired and not very nice about it. Not my finest hour.

 

[mrsklamc]

Surely your mom didn't side with them after hearing the story?

I'm still steamed because last Saturday morning a co-worker called about something that was NOT urgent (he's salaried and I am hourly.) He has a habit of calling people inappropriately so I disregarded his call because I was sleeping. (and just as an aside, I have cancer and am usually asleep when not at work at this point.) When I didn't answer he CALLED MY HUSBANDS CELL PHONE-TWICE! My DH answers the second time because he assumes someone is dying- which of course they weren't. I was LIVID.
Sorry to hijack. Obviously, I am STILL livid.

 

[Katieinwonderland]

I live about 45 to an hour away from my family and there is a reason for that . It is not so far away they cant visit but it is far enough away so they call so they dont get all the way out here with no one home

My in-laws live a 3 hour PLANE RIDE away from my BIL AND SIL, and yet the biggest family fued ever was over them just 'showing up' on their doorstep! I mean, they booked a flight, flew up there, suitcases in hand and arrived on their doorstep...oh, and SIL was seven months pregnant at the time! They had come to 'help out'...SIL was working nights at a hopsital and she was mortified because the house was a mess. She asked that next time, they please call ahead so she could clean and MIL flipped out. This was four years ago, and things are still very strained between them.

 

[goofyernmost]

As a kid I remember that my father...a very friendly and outgoing guy, would take us out for "a ride" in the evening and almost always would end up stopping by some friend or relatives house to visit.

Even at an early age I felt uncomfortable about that. I couldn't help but thinking...what if they have some other plans or something.

I have a standing rule at my house now. I live alone and I have made it a point to tell my daughters that they are welcome anytime just call me first. I tell them that I habitually hang around my house in my underwear and unless they want to be shocked...call. It worked well cause they always call ahead and let me know they are thinking of coming out. I also keep a somewhat erratic schedule so they may drive 15 miles to find out that I am out.

The problem I have had in the past is people that come to the area and expect free lodging. I have never stayed at a relatives house, even my parents, when traveling. OK, once when my parents were renting a two bedroom condo in Myrtle Beach, but I had to be talked into it. I know that there is nothing wrong with staying with relatives and friends but I just do not feel comfortable doing so. I feel like I'm imposing and will gladly pay for a hotel room just so I can relax.

 

[DisneyLover83]

You are not the rude one, no way. My MIL is like that, she will knock on windows, the front door, the back door, looks in the windows, etc! Yes, I am home..... get the hint! I think its funny when she asks why she doesn't have a key.