VENT: Bad choices

[HookdonWDW]

This whole thread reminds me of something my mom used to tell me:

"Your rights end where someone else's rights begin."

In this case, it meant that my right to ignore my child ended at the point where it interfered with someone else's right to enjoy the show.

I wish people would stop using the excuse, "He/She is just a child, what do you expect?" as an excuse not to parent.

People told me I didn't understand because I didn't have kids.

I had kids. People asked me why they were so well-behaved (because we had CONSISTANT discipline... they didn't come out that way, lol).

Now people tell me that I don't understand because I have teens.

Yeah, I do. Lazy parenting is lazy parenting, and I still think you shouldn't expect others to deal with your lack of desire to discipline your children. If you want them to scream the roof off, it's your right to do it... as long as I don't have to hear it.

 

[LisaNJ25]

Are you serious, IT"S a kids program with kids there they are going to be loud and crazy anyway.

I wouldn't for one second give into my child. If they are throwing a fit OP said they child wanted to leave, so by leaving you are giving in to the child and REWARDING them by giving in.

Sure kids cheering and laughing.. not full blown temper tantrums for 30 minutes.

If I was alone with a 2yo I would of left..

I am actually suprised she has a stroller in the arena. I have been to approx 12 Disney on Ice shows and other kids shows and have never seen a stroller inside.

 

[frijolefrito]

This whole thread reminds me of something my mom used to tell me:

"Your rights end where someone else's rights begin."

In this case, it meant that my right to ignore my child ended at the point where it interfered with someone else's right to enjoy the show.

I wish people would stop using the excuse, "He/She is just a child, what do you expect?" as an excuse not to parent.

People told me I didn't understand because I didn't have kids.

I had kids. People asked me why they were so well-behaved (because we had CONSISTANT discipline... they didn't come out that way, lol).

Now people tell me that I don't understand because I have teens.

Yeah, I do. Lazy parenting is lazy parenting, and I still think you shouldn't expect others to deal with your lack of desire to discipline your children. If you want them to scream the roof off, it's your right to do it... as long as I don't have to hear it.

I've had people ALWAYS comment how good my kids are. You are right it's called constant discipline.

 

[bumbershoot]

Why is it bad advice not to take the child out> Why give into fits that only leads to worse problems down the road

This was a little 2 year old at an event where most 2 year olds probably shouldn't be. This is a 2 year old expressing his needs; something was wrong. Maybe it was too loud, maybe it was too late, maybe he was hungry maybe something was scaring him...the list goes on to explain why a hardly-older-than-a-baby child was crying and carrying on at this show. A show that requires watching one area for an extended period of time; if kids that age aren't supposed to be watching much TV if any, why should we expect that a kid that age is going to be able to watch the ice and figure out what's going on?

This child had needs that weren't being met. Now if it were my 6 year old that I knew had had appropriate and adequate food, was hydrated and rested, and all the rest, and he was carrying on like that....THAT is a tantrum based on wants. But a 2 year old? Nah. Those are needs. And it was her job to figure out what he needed AND to be polite to others by figuring it out AWAY from the action.

Would you also get mad at Kids who were screaming and yelling because they were excited at the event?

I don't like people getting out of control at any age for any reason. I've never allowed screaming from DS (he did have loud crying sessions as a baby when all of his needs were met, and I would just hold him...I'm not saying he never cried or I did weird things to him as a baby to keep him from crying...i'm talking about when he was older) and if he gets out of control I let him know he needs to pull the reaction back. That's the sort of household I grew up in...we had a cousin staying with us for awhile and she was the screaming type when having fun...drove my mom nuts, and she finally told the cousin that unless there was a tiger attacking her, she was not to scream anymore. I have a hard time going to concerts b/c the adults around me tend to lose control and ruin my enjoyment of the show...

So yeah, I'd have been annoyed at the same level of noise from a happy child...wouldn't have said anything, but I would have been annoyed.

Like I said, she was alone and with her son. which is the other thing, how many little boys can sit through a princess show.

What does a 2 year old know of gender differences? My son has always enjoyed princesses as well as knights and pirates and the rest of it. He finally figured out, on his own, that pink generally goes along with girls, so he doesn't really *want* pink things (though his dad is part Korean, and they DO use all sorts of bright colors like pinks, so when the Korean relatives send traditional clothes, he has to deal with it AND get a perspective from another culture without the western hangups over pink and pastels), but he's still happy to see princesses as well as other things.

I would be more concerned by a 2 year old who had been so immersed in "this is for boys" and "this is for girls" that he would object to princesses, frankly.

 

[HannaBelle]

I also wanted to add that I was a young mom, I had my DS when I was 21. He will be 18 this month and is a wonderful young man. (I pray that I am not a grandmother in 3 years...I would just die! I still have former classmates that are trying to get pregnant with the first child.)

It was just common sense to remove him from a situation where his problem was disrupting others. It is the right thing to do and it does not require age or learning to understand that your rights or the rights of your child DO NOT take precedence over other peoples rights.

 

[scrapquitler]

Did she perhaps have other children with her and felt it wasn't fair to make them leave?

This is what I was thinking. Sometimes if you have more than one child, you have to let one suffer to make the other one happy. I've been in that situation where my DD really really wanted to do something, and I've had to drag an uncooperative little brother along. No fun, but sometimes you just can't avoid it. If she had a bigger sister there watching the show, the Mom couldn't very well leave (thus 'punishing' the big sister). Sometimes as a Mom you are just stuck between a rock and a hard place.

 

[jrmasm]

This whole thread reminds me of something my mom used to tell me:

"Your rights end where someone else's rights begin."

In this case, it meant that my right to ignore my child ended at the point where it interfered with someone else's right to enjoy the show.

I agree 100%. And that also includes the library, the grocery store, Walmart etc. If your kid is pitching a fit, take them to the car/outside until they settle down. Ignoring tantrums should be reserved for your own house.

 

[jrmasm]

This is what I was thinking. Sometimes if you have more than one child, you have to let one suffer to make the other one happy. I've been in that situation where my DD really really wanted to do something, and I've had to drag an uncooperative little brother along. No fun, but sometimes you just can't avoid it. If she had a bigger sister there watching the show, the Mom couldn't very well leave (thus 'punishing' the big sister). Sometimes as a Mom you are just stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Not really. Leave the younger one at home with a babysitter. And if you're already there, you still need to leave with the screamer. It stinks but it's the polite thing to do.

 

[Shmily1]

Were you at the one in Jacksonville? We went there Saturday and when we got to our seats, there was a female and her child there. She said "Oh am I in your seats?" Well, if you're not in yours, then there's a good chance you are in mine!! Then, when Tinkerbell came out, she said to her daughter "Look! It's Tinker!" Then the daughter screamed "Hi Tinker!" as loud as possible until she finally got off the ice. They didn't come back after intermission. Maybe she found a few closer seats to go sit in!

 

[descovy]

No, you would be adhering to the norms of social etiquette, by removing the offending noise. Removing crying kids from situations like this is only good manners. Nothing more or less.

Not only that... but letting them scream at an event tells them that is acceptable behavior... because you don't do anything about it. It is not acceptable to yell, scream, pitch a fit everytime you don't get your way. Part of growing up, and seeing a show (and yes even as a child) is learning how to sit still, wait for it to start, be considerate of people around you. Yes, those are lessons you can begin to learn in toddlerhood!

So if you can yell, scream at a show when you aren't 100% fully entertained, what are you teaching your child? Why is that appropriate behavior?

Pull them out doesn't reward them (unless you are taking them for ice cream) You pull them out, help them calm down, let them know the behavior you expect before you go back in. Maybe they aren't yet at a stage where they can handle a show. That's one of those things you have to deal with as a parent. So you go home and try next time.

That poor kid did not enjoy the show if he was crying or screaming. What did he get out of it? Just a lesson that you can yell and scream and tantrum wherever you are just because you aren't happy.

 

[Hannathy]

This is what I was thinking. Sometimes if you have more than one child, you have to let one suffer to make the other one happy. I've been in that situation where my DD really really wanted to do something, and I've had to drag an uncooperative little brother along. No fun, but sometimes you just can't avoid it. If she had a bigger sister there watching the show, the Mom couldn't very well leave (thus 'punishing' the big sister). Sometimes as a Mom you are just stuck between a rock and a hard place.

True, but like you said you let them suffer not everyone else. That is what you are missing. THEY suffer we don't.

 

[EMom]

This is what I was thinking. Sometimes if you have more than one child, you have to let one suffer to make the other one happy. I've been in that situation where my DD really really wanted to do something, and I've had to drag an uncooperative little brother along. No fun, but sometimes you just can't avoid it. If she had a bigger sister there watching the show, the Mom couldn't very well leave (thus 'punishing' the big sister). Sometimes as a Mom you are just stuck between a rock and a hard place.

No! No! No!

Let's say you have 5 y.o. Jill, who is well-behaved and knows how to act in public, and Jack, who is 2 y.o. and can't quite control himself yet because......well, he's TWO. He sometimes screams and screams and just won't be quiet. You've bought tickets to take your two angels to Disney on Ice and it wasn't cheap. And sweet Jill has been looking forward to it for weeks. You arrive and before you know it, Jack is pitching a Class A fit.

But if you take him out into the hall or bathroom, you'll have to take Jill too because you can't leave a 5 y.o. alone. And Jill will miss the show she's been dreaming about for ages. Poor, poor Jill. It's not HER fault Jack is a pain in the rear. Why should precious Jill suffer because of her fit-throwing brother? No, maybe you should just ignore him so she can continue to enjoy the show.........

STOP!!!!!!!!!

You're worried that poor, little, well-behaved Jill will miss out on a show she's wanted to see for weeks and I get that. But what about the 50-100 or more other people who are having their evening RUINED by the screaming of YOUR kid? They didn't sign up for that. He's your kid, not theirs. If you think it's unfair that Jill "suffer," how is is okay for all those people to suffer for a kid they don't even know?

Nope, sorry, if anyone gets diddled in this equation, it should be Mommy and Jill because Jack is their cross to bear. Get a sitter and leave him home or face the fact that such outings may be impossible until Jack can behave properly in such a venue. If you choose to bring a kid who then chooses to throw a fit, IT'S ON YOU! Not the entire section you're seated in. Maybe your other kid will get stiffed out of the show, but simple math says that's preferable to ruining the night for dozens and dozens of others.

I don't care if you opt for the rock or the hard place.....Just take the screaming kid away.

 

[scrapquitler]

Not really. Leave the younger one at home with a babysitter. And if you're already there, you still need to leave with the screamer. It stinks but it's the polite thing to do.

So my well behaved child should be punished (by leaving a show) because her younger sibling is acting up? Or I should just always leave the younger one home with a babysitter 'just in case' he might act up.

 

[tlbwriter]

So my well behaved child should be punished (by leaving a show) because her younger sibling is acting up?

Should everyone else's well behaved children (and their parents), who aren't even related to your and your kids, be punished because your younger child is acting up? You must pick the lesser of two evils.

 

[jrmasm]

So my well behaved child should be punished (by leaving a show) because her younger sibling is acting up? Or I should just always leave the younger one home with a babysitter 'just in case' he might act up.

When you and your children are not the only ones there, YES!!!!!!!

 

[NMAmy]

So my well behaved child should be punished (by leaving a show) because her younger sibling is acting up? Or I should just always leave the younger one home with a babysitter 'just in case' he might act up.

Yes.

 

[EMom]

Should everyone else's well behaved children (and their parents), who aren't even related to your and your kids, be punished because your younger child is acting up? You must pick the lesser of two evils.

Again....It's SIMPLE MATH. Your one "good" child suffers as opposed to perhaps hundreds of "good" kids suffering. Really, the concept isn't that hard to grasp.

 

[JLTraveling]

The logical other possibility, if you don't want the "good" kid to suffer, is to pay for another adult to come along. I don't care if it's your spouse, sibling or a paid caregiver. If you don't want sweet Jill to miss the performance but you know Jack might be a problem, invest another 50 bucks to make sure ONE adult can take Jack out while the other remains with Jill.

 

[Jedana]

The logical other possibility, if you don't want the "good" kid to suffer, is to pay for another adult to come along. I don't care if it's your spouse, sibling or a paid caregiver. If you don't want sweet Jill to miss the performance but you know Jack might be a problem, invest another 50 bucks to make sure ONE adult can take Jack out while the other remains with Jill.

Or find a sitter for Jack.

DH and I split going to to DD's fun things; one would stay home with DS and the other would go with her. Same with her flag performances, etc. you do what ya gotta do to make it right for other people.

We've had to leave restaurants/stores due to bad behavior by the kids, but that's what parents have to do sometimes.

Now that he's older, we don't do that; he is expected to sit and behave properly, sometimes it means he reads a book instead of watching her flip a flag, but that is fine--it is entertaining him. If he can't, well, we can sit in the car until everyone is done. And then, at home, he can sit on his bed and think about what behaving properly means.

 

[Hannathy]

So my well behaved child should be punished (by leaving a show) because her younger sibling is acting up? Or I should just always leave the younger one home with a babysitter 'just in case' he might act up.

Whichever one you prefer! They both work.