Unemployed and moving!! Advice needed!

[Lilacs4Me]

Sorry in advance....this is going to be long!

I still can't believe it! I am officially unemployed, and we are moving!
So, what happened, you ask??!! DH got a promotion! I need some advice!

First, location. His new job is near Washington DC. We have a few areas that we are looking at - the Franconia Va area tops our list just from what we've heard about it from people we know, but if anyone knows of good areas, I'd love some inside info! We would like to be moved and settled by Feb so the kids can at least get a decent amount of time in their new schools before the years over. We will be renting until we sell our house here.

2, I will need to find a new job. My last day is technically Dec. 31st, but it was mutually decided this morning with me and my boss that due to a few extra vacation days I didn't use, plus my work is project based and I pretty much finished my last project on the 22nd, it just makes sense to stop now instead of getting involved in another one and having to leave before it's over. I'll turn in all my stuff and say goodbye tomorrow!

I'll take any leads! My current (well, OLD now!!! lol) company merged with a competitor (paper and office superstore retailer/manufacturer) a couple years back and our headquarters is now in Florida, with stores/local offices all over the US, but the work that I do can't really be done without a lot of travel back "home" or to Florida so I'd like to find something in DC with no travel, if anyone knows of any companies hiring. Most recently I was a display planner for paper/file folders and before that was the planogram manager for all kinds of writing utensils). It doesn't have to be just office stuff...the products don't matter so much. I could work in one of our stores, but I don't really want to.

Alternatively, I'm even thinking about maybe going back to get my masters in psychology....I'm kind of sick of worrying about printer paper, paper clips and file folders! Lol WWYD? Just find a new job, or change careers?

3rd, and this is the big one. DS doesn't really want to go. He will be a senior this coming year and wants to finish up his last year in his current high school. I totally get that this is crappy timing. Would you let your high schooler stay while you moved out of state? Any advice if you did? We would obviously make sure all legal and guardianship necessities are taken care of. He thinks he has a better chance of getting recruited for his sport if he stays. But it could happen there too, so I told him that he should keep all of his options open, plus he is just coming back from a big injury, so academics are the most important thing. But you know how 16 year boys can be....they think they know everything!! Haha

Anyway, sorry this got so long....it's been a whirlwind lately and we JUST told our families officially over the holiday. We didn't want to say anything until we were sure. I didn't even make an official announcement at work, outside of my boss and a few very close workmates, until the 22nd. But now it's real and we have so many decisions to make really quickly. Thanks for reading and I appreciate any advice!

 

[ronandannette]

Sorry in advance....this is going to be long!

I still can't believe it! I am officially unemployed, and we are moving!
So, what happened, you ask??!! DH got a promotion! I need some advice!

First, location. His new job is near Washington DC. We have a few areas that we are looking at - the Franconia Va area tops our list just from what we've heard about it from people we know, but if anyone knows of good areas, I'd love some inside info! We would like to be moved and settled by Feb so the kids can at least get a decent amount of time in their new schools before the years over. We will be renting until we sell our house here.

2, I will need to find a new job. My last day is technically Dec. 31st, but it was mutually decided this morning with me and my boss that due to a few extra vacation days I didn't use, plus my work is project based and I pretty much finished my last project on the 22nd, it just makes sense to stop now instead of getting involved in another one and having to leave before it's over. I'll turn in all my stuff and say goodbye tomorrow!

I'll take any leads! My current (well, OLD now!!! lol) company merged with a competitor (paper and office superstore retailer/manufacturer) a couple years back and our headquarters is now in Florida, with stores/local offices all over the US, but the work that I do can't really be done without a lot of travel back "home" or to Florida so I'd like to find something in DC with no travel, if anyone knows of any companies hiring. Most recently I was a display planner for paper/file folders and before that was the planogram manager for all kinds of writing utensils). It doesn't have to be just office stuff...the products don't matter so much. I could work in one of our stores, but I don't really want to.

Alternatively, I'm even thinking about maybe going back to get my masters in psychology....I'm kind of sick of worrying about printer paper, paper clips and file folders! Lol WWYD? Just find a new job, or change careers?

3rd, and this is the big one. DS doesn't really want to go. He will be a senior this coming year and wants to finish up his last year in his current high school. I totally get that this is crappy timing. Would you let your high schooler stay while you moved out of state? Any advice if you did? We would obviously make sure all legal and guardianship necessities are taken care of. He thinks he has a better chance of getting recruited for his sport if he stays. But it could happen there too, so I told him that he should keep all of his options open, plus he is just coming back from a big injury, so academics are the most important thing. But you know how 16 year boys can be....they think they know everything!! Haha

Anyway, sorry this got so long....it's been a whirlwind lately and we JUST told our families officially over the holiday. We didn't want to say anything until we were sure. I didn't even make an official announcement at work, outside of my boss and a few very close workmates, until the 22nd. But now it's real and we have so many decisions to make really quickly. Thanks for reading and I appreciate any advice!

More info please:

• Will your DH's income sustain your family so you don't have to get a job? If so, then now is the right time to look at getting your Masters and making a career transition.
• Where would your DS stay if he doesn't move with the family?

Big changes and I hope you've all had some time to process them. Best of luck, however it ends up going. Happy New Year!

 

[longboard55]

If your goal is making money, its hard to find a worse major than psychology

 

[Eeyore's My Favorite]

The only part I can comment on is the high schooler. My folks moved the start of my jr year & my folks wouldn't let me stay behind even with my grandparents. Looking back I really had a broader education those last 2 years in a different school system than I would have if I had stayed behind. I'd say bring him with you. He will make new friends & have new life experiences. JMHO.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

More info please:

• Will your DH's income sustain your family so you don't have to get a job? If so, then now is the right time to look at getting your Masters and making a career transition.
• Where would your DS stay if he doesn't move with the family?

Big changes and I hope you've all had some time to process them. Best of luck, however it ends up going. Happy New Year!

Sorry! I was trying to keep it a little shorter than it was!

Depending on how much housing is in DC, I think I'd have to work at least part time, just to cover the costs of the masters program. But I worked full time and finished my bachelors degree and the kids were little (9,5, and 3) so I know I could do it. Although the other consideration is cost of living....we live in a high cost of living area now, but I hear DC Is pretty high too.

DS would stay here with my BIL and his fiance - they are having a baby in April. We actually talked about renting our house to them (MIL lives with him right now, but the fiance has two of her own boys and there won't be room at their current house for everyone with the baby). Our house is already "kid friendly" and bigger and would be perfect for them. DS wouldn't even have to move bedrooms, much less anywhere else!

It's a hard decision, but I have to keep remembering that DS will be away at college in 18 months anyway, so I can see why he doesn't want to be uprooted right now.

And happy new year to you too! Thanks!

 

[Lilacs4Me]

If your goal is making money, its hard to find a worse major than psychology

Haha, thats what I've been told too.

My undergrad minor is in psychology, with a concentration in adolescent behavioral health. I've always wanted to be a school psychologist for middle school kids. It's such a hard time for kids at that age, and early on in my studies one of my professors said that the perception one has about themselves at the age of 12 is the perception that stays with them the rest of their life.

Not saying that is 100% accurate or true, just that it made an impression on me and I would love to help kids through those hard tween years.

 

[PlutoPony]

Where is your husband physically working and how much do you want to spend on housing? What draws you to Springfield-Franconia? (not saying it's bad just trying to understand what you're looking for)

As for your son, what level football is he likely to be recruited for? Is he under active consideration for any schools at this time?
Aside from football, which state do you think he'll end up going to college in? Old state or VA? If you think he will ultimately be more interested in being in VA or nearer you for university, I'd seriously consider bringing him along (not considering the football implications for this though). That does mean you will need to figure out the best HS for him here and rent there. What size high school is he in now?

 

[EveDallas]

My 2 cents - I would never uproot my high schooler away from his school and friends with one year to go if there were any way to avoid it.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I might be able to help you with the recruitment issues if you PM me the details.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

Where is your husband physically working and how much do you want to spend on housing? What draws you to Springfield-Franconia? (not saying it's bad just trying to understand what you're looking for)

As for your son, what level football is he likely to be recruited for? Is he under active consideration for any schools at this time?
Aside from football, which state do you think he'll end up going to college in? Old state or VA? If you think he will ultimately be more interested in being in VA or nearer you for university, I'd seriously consider bringing him along (not considering the football implications for this though). That does mean you will need to figure out the best HS for him here and rent there. What size high school is he in now?

My uncle lives in that area and they love it. However, I know it is pricey. Im not close enough to them to be comfortable talking finances, but in general, just knowing what they do for a living, they make a lot more money than we do! I'd like to stay in the $2500/mo range if we rented, and the equivalent mortgage payment if we bought in a few years, esp if I end up going back to school. I'm not sure of the exact city his office is in, but I do know it's between Dulles and DC. Reston, maybe? Does that sound right? I'd have to ask DH again. He works from home a lot now, but will have to be in the office there at least a few times a week. He said it's closer to the airport than to DC.

Football level....to be real, D3. He had shoulder surgery last feb and missed his whole sophomore year and most of his junior year (played the last five games of the season, but beat out the starting senior the 2nd game back for his spot) Before his injury, it was as promising as any decent HS player, now he just wants to play college level so he can add it to his resume because he wants to coach as a career. His backup plan is physical therapy -his PT staff made quite an impression on him this year! We have had a few D3 coaches call in the past couple months. DS has decent grades and a college-track courseload so any scholarships would be for academics, not sports, for D3 since D3 doesn't give out sports scholarships, of course.

Dream college if hes not recruited is in the midwest - U of Mich - out of our current state. If he goes there, he won't be playing football - there is no way he will make it. He's ok with that and will just follow plan B, which is go for PT and coach on local high school football staffs.

His current HS has about 1,600 kids. Not huge, but not tiny. They are a class 6A out of 8 classes in our state...8 being the biggest.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My uncle lives in that area and they love it. However, I know it is pricey. Im not close enough to them to be comfortable talking finances, but in general, just knowing what they do for a living, they make a lot more money than we do! I'd like to stay in the $2500/mo range if we rented, and the equivalent mortgage payment if we bought in a few years, esp if I end up going back to school. I'm not sure of the exact city his office is in, but I do know it's between Dulles and DC. Reston, maybe? Does that sound right? I'd have to ask DH again. He works from home a lot now, but will have to be in the office there at least a few times a week. He said it's closer to the airport than to DC.

Football level....to be real, D3. He had shoulder surgery last feb and missed his whole sophomore year and most of his junior year (played the last five games of the season, but beat out the starting senior the 2nd game back for his spot) Before his injury, it was as promising as any decent HS player, now he just wants to play college level so he can add it to his resume because he wants to coach as a career. His backup plan is physical therapy -his PT staff made quite an impression on him this year! We have had a few D3 coaches call in the past couple months.

Dream college if hes not recruited is in the midwest - U of Mich - out of our current state. If he goes there, he won't be playing football - there is no way he will make it. He's ok with that and will just follow plan B, which is go for PT and coach on local high school football staffs.

His current HS has about 1,600 kids. Not huge, but not tiny. They are a class 6A out of 8 classes in our state...8 being the biggest.

Becoming a PT is a serious medical track. Has he looked into it?

Basically you get your Bachelor Degree and then essentially 3 yrs of med school or the new DPT degree. Very, very competitive to get into.

We moved my dd's senior yr (TX to MO). It was a PITA. She "lost" her PE waivers and had to take PE and Missouri history classes her senior yr. (required to graduate in MO)

She only did 1 semester which allowed her to graduate early however she knew no one and did not have a "senior year".





Physical Therapist Degree
Professional (entry-level) physical therapist education programs in the United States only offer the Doctor of Physical Therapy (DPT) degree to all new students who enroll. The Master of Physical Therapy (MPT) and Master of Science in Physical Therapy (MSPT) degrees are no longer offered to any new students in the United States. To practice as a physical therapist in the US, you must earn a physical therapist degree from a CAPTE- accredited physical therapist education program and pass a state licensure exam.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

Becoming a PT is a serious medical track. Has he looked into it?

Basically you get your Bachelor Degree and then essentially 3 yrs of med school or the new DPT degree. Very, very competitive to get into.

We moved my dd's senior yr. It was a PITA. She "lost" her PE waivers and had to take PE and Missouri history classes her senior yr. (required to graduate in MO)

She only did 1 semester which allowed her to graduate early however she knew no one and did not have a "senior year".





Physical Therapist Degree
Professional (entry-level) physical therapist education programs in the United States only offer the Doctor of Physical Therapy (DPT) degree to all new students who enroll. The Master of Physical Therapy (MPT) and Master of Science in Physical Therapy (MSPT) degrees are no longer offered to any new students in the United States. To practice as a physical therapist in the US, you must earn a physical therapist degree from a CAPTE- accredited physical therapist education program and pass a state licensure exam.

Yes, he has looked into it and talked to all of his PT's about what kind of schooling he will need. He can do it - he's been on the AP/honors track all through high school so far (and he's always had a high aptitude in math and science) and had to balance academics with football, which is a year round commitment at this level. But yes, very competitive - he will definitely have to stay focused.

And as for moving senior year, yes, that is what I am worried about for DS...not having a "senior year" after working so hard for everything he has accomplished so far. To start over having to prove himself again and not have the emotional connection to a new school/team/peers would be hard.

 

[PlutoPony]

My uncle lives in that area and they love it. However, I know it is pricey. Im not close enough to them to be comfortable talking finances, but in general, just knowing what they do for a living, they make a lot more money than we do! I'd like to stay in the $2500/mo range if we rented, and the equivalent mortgage payment if we bought in a few years, esp if I end up going back to school. I'm not sure of the exact city his office is in, but I do know it's between Dulles and DC. Reston, maybe? Does that sound right? I'd have to ask DH again. He works from home a lot now, but will have to be in the office there at least a few times a week. He said it's closer to the airport than to DC.

If your husband has to be out by Dulles a couple times a week for work, I'd seriously rethink Franconia - that would be the commute from @#$*&. It's probably 45 minutes w/o traffic - like at 2am lol. If it were me, I'd look in central/northern Fairfax County, Loudon County, or Prince William. Those are along the I-66 and/or route 28 corridor. Prices go down as you go further away from DC/Beltway. Realize you're still talking traffic even there, so be careful he ends ups with a commute you all are comfortable with. Schools good but crowded in Fairfax + Loudon, good in Prince William with a few exceptions (my son went thru school there and is in college doing fine in a STEM field). Housing prices are approx $400-600k+ for SF, a little less for TH - unless you go out further and go with longer commute.

If he's looking at going to college at a state U, it would appear on the surface that he'd be considered in-state for VA schools even if he graduated from HS in MI but worth checking. Also might want to understand residency requirements for in-state MI schools. VA has a lot of good colleges but they're competitive, especially if you're coming out of the NoVa area which is considered very good prep academically.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Have you thought about just waiting until your son finishes high school? I realize it would mean your husband would have to wait on the promotion, and you would have to stay on your job another year, but it would also give you time to think things through a little better, as well, such as where you want to live, which schools your son might like to attend, thoughts about many things that wouldn't be as rushed or jumbled.

 

[NHdisneylover]

My opinion on the son, as a parent whose kids moved MANY times through the years (oldest lived in 5 US states as well as Germany before graduating and attended 7 different schools):

In general moving is not a bad thing--but I would totally respect a highschool junior or senior wanting to finish where they are at and would do everything in my power to find a way to make that possible---it sounds like you can do that fairly easily. If it were my kid, in the situation you describe, I would let him stay put.

 

[CarolAnn856]

As the mother of a current senior, I would let him stay and finish where he is. It would be difficult, mostly for you , but since it sounds like he would have a very loving and stable family to stay with, I would go for that option.

What would be your goal in receiving your master's in psych? Will the master's itself get you there? How is the job market for what you want to do? Are there certifications you would need, which can be costly and time consuming as well? I'm not really asking you to answer these, just throwing them out for you to consider. I made a career change that necessitated grad school when my kids were young. I was able to do all of my courses online, which was nice. Unfortunately, the career outlook changed in my area dramatically as I was finishing up my courses, since our governor cut school funding drastically. Some districts are still working on recovering.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

As the mother of a current senior, I would let him stay and finish where he is. It would be difficult, mostly for you , but since it sounds like he would have a very loving and stable family to stay with, I would go for that option.

What would be your goal in receiving your master's in psych? Will the master's itself get you there? How is the job market for what you want to do? Are there certifications you would need, which can be costly and time consuming as well? I'm not really asking you to answer these, just throwing them out for you to consider. I made a career change that necessitated grad school when my kids were young. I was able to do all of my courses online, which was nice. Unfortunately, the career outlook changed in my area dramatically as I was finishing up my courses, since our governor cut school funding drastically. Some districts are still working on recovering.

Yes, I would definitely have a hard te adjusting to him not being with us...
I've been emotionally preparing myself for the past few months that he only has one more football season....one more first day of school....one more christmas a a "kid"...etc, and this would speed it up by a year.

As for the career change, All of your questions are exactly why I haven't taken the leap yet!

What I do know is that I was totally burned out working 50-60 hours and still being "on call" in the job I just left - I don't really want to go back to a corporate America job if I can help it. I mean, I'll do what I've got to do, of course, but working in supply planning for a office supply store chain isn't exactly ones dream job lol

 

[Skippy918]

Is it possible for you to stay behind with your son until he finishes high school? Is your dh's new job flexible where they would let him come home on weekends or telecommute for a little while? A friend of mine was in a similar situation where her dh got a new job offer and moved halfway across the country to take the job, while she remained behind with the kids so they could finish out the school year and get the house ready to sell. Good luck to you!

 

[dollarmite]

I would not move your son to a different school at this time, under any circumstances. It would be selfish on your and DH's part to make him do that now, especially seeing as you have the option of having him live with your BIL Or, your DH moves to the new area for now and the rest of the family moves there once DS graduates.

I had to change school AND countries just after starting grade 11. I vowed that no matter what, I'd never do that to my (future) kids, and have stuck with that. DH and I had a situation come up that meant that our boys would have to have moved high schools part way through. DS1 in particular would've been been negatively impacted considering the stage he was at, not to mention the hard work he'd put in. But DH and I refused to allow a situation that the kids had no say in impact them any more than it should have. We juggled things and the boys stayed in their school, and I'm so glad we did.

 

[tcufrog]

Your BIL and his fiance will have their hands full with their kids and the new baby. Will they have time and emotional bandwidth to also parent your son? He's still young enough to need some hands on parenting.