unchaperoned HS kids on spring break?

[Rock'n Robin]

I was just wondering if anyone is brave enough to let their high school students go anywhere on spring break without adult supervision. Every year I'm stunned by the number of my students who go to Florida or wherever and no parents are involved. Some of these kids aren't 18 yet so they can't use the "we're 18 and can do what we want" excuse. Personally I've heard too many horror stories to even consider it. And with the Natalie Holloway thing--that was a school trip, what was that school thinking letting their seniors go to a country where drinking is legal at 18? I wonder what they think seeing the photos and videos of their little darlings drinking and gambling.
Robin M.

 

[monarchsfan16]

My mom definitely would not have let me go on one of those trips if I had brought up the topic. Not that I would have wanted to though. Last year was my senior year of high school, and I turned 18 in November of that year. For April vacation we took a family trip to Disney, which is exactly what I wanted to do. I knew several people (classmates, not friends) who went on unchaperoned trips to Cancun and Mexico, and not all of the were 18 either. Some of them were actually put onto later flights home, because they were STILL drunk when they got to the airport, so the airlines wouldn't let them fly. From the stories they told in class, they didn't remember much of the trip at all. Yes, I am a rare teen who doesn't drink, so personally I find it a little pathetic.

 

[poohandwendy]

Um...no.

 

[beckmrk04]

NO WAY would my mom have even considered it! My senior trip was to France- and it was most definitely chaperoned!

 

[mudpuppy]

As the mother of 2 adult children, they would not have thought about asking to go anywhere for that length of time unchaperoned while they were still underage !!! Of course I never did tell them how I begged and whined to their grandparents when I wanted to hitchhike across country to go to the original Woodstock concert at the age of 14.

 

[DawnCt1]

"Brave" is not the word I would use to characterize the stupidity of parents who not only let their little darlings go but in all probability, pay for it. It wouldn't have occurred to pay for my college DSs to go on spring break. If they are old enough to go, they are old enough to foot the bill. No one ever thought it was that important to book the flight and spend their own money.

 

[popeyeohoh]

I would not pay for or allow my underage son to go away unsupervised. About 5 of his friends are going to South Carolina and I think their parents are nuts.

 

[DVCLiz]

I was just wondering if anyone is brave enough to let their high school students go anywhere on spring break without adult supervision. Every year I'm stunned by the number of my students who go to Florida or wherever and no parents are involved. Some of these kids aren't 18 yet so they can't use the "we're 18 and can do what we want" excuse. Personally I've heard too many horror stories to even consider it. And with the Natalie Holloway thing--that was a school trip, what was that school thinking letting their seniors go to a country where drinking is legal at 18? I wonder what they think seeing the photos and videos of their little darlings drinking and gambling.
Robin M.

According to the website I just checked, Natalee Holloway had graduated prior to going to Aruba, and the trip was an unofficial senior trip not tied to the school at all. I don't think that makes it any easier on any of those parents, but the school shouldn't be tied to the trip if it didn't happen until after graduation.

My daughter's school also has this tradition. DD wanted to go, and I discussed it with her, asking her to make an informed decision based on what she knew had happened before and the other kids who would be going on the trip. She decided not to go. I think I woudl have said no regardless, but I was glad to hear that she had really thought it through on her own.

I WAS "brave" enough to let her go on a spring break trip without a chaperone. She and three friends (2 girls, 1 boy (gay, not someone's boyfriend!) found a condo they wanted to rent. I spoke to the mom who owned the condo (she happened to live a few towns over) on the phone several times, my daughter spoke to her, and she discussed it with her husband. I had told the kids I wouldn't sign for anything but if they could find a place that would rent to them they could go. DD is 17 so I knew she would probably have trouble finding a condo, but she could go to a hotel with friends because all the others were 18. She did her reserach and found the condo.

I want to make several points here, but this is getting long!!! The trip was a success...and I'll continue in another post.

 

[jbthi]

I let my daughter drive to Siesta Key, FL from Indiana when she was a senior in high school in 1982. She took 4 girlfriends and I rented them the condo for them and paid for her share.

They had a wonderful time with no problems. This was a whole ownership condo with mainly older people living there. I had stressed to them no music at the pool without headphones, etc. They said the minute they hit the pool all the residents were around them, talking to them.

I had to pay a damage deposit and I stressed this to the girls. When they had an inspection before they left, they told the girls they had never seen anyone leave a place so clean. Carpet was white and there had been some dirt around the door. Girls didn't know if they did it, so they bought some cleaner and cleaned it.

Got a letter from the rental company later and they said they had been very leary about renting to the girls, but they were an absolute delight. Said everyone loved them.

So it all depends on the child. I would never have considered letting my son go. Heck, if I had my way, I wouldn't let him go now in his 40's.

 

[auntpolly]

Um...no.

What she said.

 

[DVCLiz]

OK, where was I? We live in central NC, and the condo was on the NC/SC coastal border. It was a week in March, before the Easter break that the public high schools have here, and also before any other private schools around here. So, less chance of hooking up with crowds of kids I don't know well.

Also, not a big drinking group. I know DD has experimented, but it's not a big drunk crowd with these four. They were as excited about shopping for their groceries as anything else. I think they just wanted to know they could do it.

They made menus, went shopping, and cooked most meals at the condo. They went to the beach, watched a lot of TV, slept late, and read. They met up with some friends from their school on one of the nights and went back to their condo one beach town over, which DID have some drinking going on. DD and her friends decided it was too risky to stay, so they left and went to play Putt Putt instead. They took good care of the condo while they were there, and drove there and back safely.

The RULES: DD knew that a lot was riding on this trip. I said, "Think about this. You are away from me, but the person who owns this condo has friends and neighbors who are going to be all around you. Don't think for a minute that they won't pick up the phone and rat you out the minute they see ANYTHING going on. Also, if you make poor choices now, you'll miss two other summer vacations and you'll have to work hard to regain my trust in the future."

I think this was a great experience for us both - her in making good choices and me in letting go and seeing how she did on her own. Obviously, I stacked the deck in her favor - no real temptations with big groups, no big party scene, lots of privileges lost if she misbehaved. And it worked out great for us.

Would I have let her go to Florida or some other drinking party scene? No way. And I hope she won't want to do that next year, either. I've offered a bribe in the form of a DVC stay if she and friends want to go to WDW!!!

Anyway, that's our experience. I know most of this thread will be just like all of the first posts, but it doesn't have to be all or nothing, either.

 

[salmoneous]

I went away both Junior and Senior years of high school. Not sure what the big deal is. If kids are going to to "bad" things, not letting them go on Spring Break isn't going to stop them.

To those folks who wouldn't dream of letting a HS senior go away unsupervised, what do you do a few months later when they go off to college?

 

[monarchsfan16]

I guess I should add...
My mom was willing to let my best friend and I use her RCI timeshare last summer (summer after senior year) for a few days or a week to go somewhere within driving distance last summer. Unfortunately RCI mandates that you have to be over 21 to use the points, so she went with us. We ended up having a great time though, even with her there. She knows both of us won't drink, and won't do anything else that we shouldn't be doing. And it would have been just the two of us, maybe one other person (approved by her), in areas of the country not exactly frequented by teens (we ended up going to Attitash in the White Mountains of NH)
So maybe she wouldn't have been deadset against *a* spring break trip, but she would have been deadset against the type of spring break trip that most people think of

And she has given her blessings for me to plan a college spring break trip, but she's not willing to foot the entire bill. She has said that she'd buy my plane ticket or a park hopper or something like that as a Christmas gift. She knows I wouldn't go on one of the stereotypical drinking spring breaks, so she's ok with it. Even now that I'm in college, she still has the power to put her foot down if she doesn't approve of the type of trip or the other kids. But she knows that ideally, what my friends and I have considered, is a trip to WDW, and she fully trusts everything about WDW, as well as the people I've tossed around the idea with. I have no idea whether the trip will ever happen, but as of now, I have her permission, and a (likely) bit of her money should I want it

 

[cardaway]

I take it these "no way" parents don't let their kids go away for the day during the summer either.

 

[poohandwendy]

I take it these "no way" parents don't let their kids go away for the day during the summer either.

Big difference in a week alone where there is zero accountability (and that is the mindset they tend to have) and a few hours.

 

[Planogirl]

I couldn't even stay out past midnight when I graduated! My parents were strict about things like this.

However, I admit that when I turned 18 I was outta there. I was so ready to do my own thing that I moved out right away. Actually, I really didn't do much of anything; I just wanted to be the one that decided that.

 

[auntpolly]

I take it these "no way" parents don't let their kids go away for the day during the summer either.

Hey, that's the argument DD and her friends used too! Yeah, didn't work, but it was worth a shot though, I guess. .

 

[cardaway]

Big difference in a week alone where there is zero accountability (and that is the mindset they tend to have) and a few hours.

Maybe with some kids, but IMO saying "no way" is all but admitting your parenting has failed at some level and your kids can't be trusted overnight in public alone.

 

[poohandwendy]

However, I admit that when I turned 18 I was outta there. I was so ready to do my own thing so I moved out right away. Actually, I really didn't do much of anything; I just wanted to be the one that decided that.

And that is how I think it should be, to be honest. I want my kids to want to leave and spread their wings. I want them to be the ones who make all of the decisions for themselves. When that happens, they need to be either in college or on their own. JMHO

(btw, I moved out for the same reason at 18...but my parents weren't ultra strict..I just needed to do it on my own.)

 

[auntpolly]

Maybe with some kids, but IMO saying "no way" is all but admitting your parenting has failed at some level and your kids can't be trusted overnight in public alone.

Wow, you should consider becoming a lawyer for teenagers, you know how to turn the screws to parents.

Saying no way is our job. Bad parenting is when you don't know that.