Ugh! This dog!!!!!!

[Jomrog]

Okay, I brought this poor little dog home from a rescue shelter. My "inner voice" kept telling me to save her. My DD liked her and she hates dogs. My DH is not ready for a dog because we just moved into our home 1 1/2 mos. ago.

This dog is sweet for the most part but she chews on our old furniture which we are getting rid of and eats the cat poop out of the litter box (eeeew).

I haven't quite paid the $$ to officially adopt her yet and althought I am sort of attached to her, she creates a lot of work for me that I don't need. My toddler does that well enough already. My DH is not interested in helping to take care of her and my 7 yo DD is losing interest which I expected.

Help! I want to take her back but I feel very guilty. I actually had her and her stuff loaded into the van on Sunday when low & behold my DH knocked on the van and told me that if I really wanted a dog that we should keep her. He's still not going to help with her, though.

What is a dog lover to do? I could sure use a little support!

Thanks for listening!

Joanne

 

[luvwinnie]

ifyou don't have the time and energy to care for him and train him properly, it isn't fair to either of you. Sometimes the best choices are the hardest ones. Let us know what happens.

 

[Jomrog]

Thanks Luvwinnie,

I just hate the idea of her going back to the shelter but she is really making it tough for me to get anything done and I don't want her to be an outside dog. That truly isn't fair.

I am leaning toward returning her this weekend. My DH said he would take her back to save me the heartache. I will let you know, though.

Joanne

 

[jamsmom]

What a tough decision. {{{HUGS}}}

 

[April76]

I am an huge animal lover -- I've owned everything from birds to horses and have always owned a dog..... but I agree with those who suggest that it would be most fair to both of you if you returned her.

1. You know that she will require your time (your family's been honest about not wanting to help you),

2. She's chewed your furniture (it might be old, but what will she do with the new home/furnishings or family member's belongings)

3. In 6 months, will there be resentment in your family toward her and will anyone have the time to make her feel like "part of the family"

It's very noble of you to go to a shelter and give her a home -- I love to hear stories like that!!!

But I believe that everyone must be happy, or you haven't really saved her from anything.

Whatever you decide -- good luck to all of you!!!! **hugs**

 

[Jomrog]

Thanks for the hugs & advice. I told my Dh last night that I think she needs to go back. He will do it for me this weekend to save me the grief.

I will let you know if I change my mind. I just feel like a failure because I couldn't handle a dog & 2 kids. I have seen people who could do it all with a job too!

Joanne

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Joanne,
Did you try any crate training? Is there a way to keep the litter box away from the dog? Did you know there is bitter or spicy stuff you can put on furniture so it won't want to chew it? Perhaps you could talk to a vet for some advice before making your final decision.

I agree that the dog should not be in a house where it will make family members unhappy.

No matter your decision, you're not a failure. Puppies are so much work.

 

[Jomrog]

Miss Jasmine,
The bitter spray seems to be working. I just got it a couple of days ago. I don't have a cat box w/a lid, so I might try that.

Really & truly, she is 85% good. She tries hard to please. I think she has some seperation issues from being a stray/shelter dog.

Today, she has been great so far. I was gone for a while this am and she stayed outside. She was happy to see me home & didn't jump on me or anything. She just loves to be with people.

I think the problem is with my DH. I am so afraid of what she might do to make him mad. Then, I'm afraid that he will be angry with me for the whole situation. I don't deal well when I think people are upset with me. I am ultra sensitive.



Thanks again. I love the DIS.

Joanne

 

[Miss Jasmine]

So the real issue here isn't even the dog, huh.

My DH doesn't like my cat, but he tolerates Kitty. Of course I came with Kitty so I don't know what will happen if I want another cat. But yes there are times he gets mad, like when the cat throws up (well that's what cats do, too bad for him). He pouts a little bit and gets over it. I ignore him when he's like that.

I would really give the crate training a try so you don't have to leave the dog outside when you leave, plus it will associate the crate as its den (don't use it as a punishment). It is also good for the times the dog is a little too spirited and needs to take a break.

A lid for the litter box will help a lot (but may not solve the problem 100%. Get a soda can or something like that. Fill it with coins. Whenever the dog gets near the litter box, shake it. The sound should scare her away from it. She will begin associating the noise with the box and will stay away (sort of how the bitter stuff works).

Also if you plan on keeping her, doggy obedience school is a must, in my opinion.

The fact that you haven't taken her back yet leads me to believe she has captured at least your heart. Pets have a way of making their way into other hearts as well. How about family walks with the dog?

Good luck. {{{{HUGS}}}}

P.S. How old is the dog? And what is her name?

 

[Jomrog]

We have a sun room with a doogy door. That's where the old furniture is that she chewed up. The furniture is headed out this weekend. Right now she is sleeping on the floor in that room. Would you still recommend the crate even though she has this room?

I'll do the soda can thing near the cat box. That's a good idea. I am considering the obedience thing because she isn't perfect on the leash. The last dog I had was much harder to tame than this one. I did take that dog to obedience and we failed miserably.

Okay, here is the ironic thing, the shelter name for this dog is the same as that old dog. Her name was Chelsea. We decided to change this dogs name to Kelsey. She is a medium sized white shepherd mix.

Joanne

 

[Beauty]

Awww! Things WILL get better! I am one of the biggest animal lovers in the world and have been through it all!! The kitty in my picture is my new Maine Coon who is 3 months old, believe me having him is like having another baby! He scratches the furniture, he goes up the stairs and scares me to death when he pokes his head out of the landing, he jumps on everything, he plays with the curtains.....I litterally have to keep my eyes on him all the time!

We also have a dog who would eat the litter all the time if we let her....my answer, we bought a very inexpensive child gate at Wal-Mart. The dog can't get over the gate but the cats can jump it. It solved that problem.

I just really think with patience and the crating is GREAT ADVICE that this dog could become your best friend.

Good Luck with whatever you decide....oh and if the bitters don't work, try hot sauce!!

 

[yoopermom]

PLEASE go to the forums at www.greatpets.com they have super answers on just these type of problems, both in the "dog" area and the "shelter" area. For the chewing, try all different sorts of chew toys, only given to her when she has to be by herself. If you have a pet store near you that allows you to bring the pet in, take her with to "pick out" her own toys. For health reasons, don't let her mouth them all, but you'll be able to tell from her interest level (head up, tail up, etc) which ones she'll like. They make what's called a Kong which is hard rubber but hollow inside that you can stuff with treats/cheese/peanut butter (and even freeze!) that the dog will have to work at to get the treats out, will keep her busy for hours. Being such a big dog, is she getting sufficient exercise? Lots of long walks, games of ball toss in the backyard, etc.? Do what is in your heart, but she sounds "redeemable" to me...
Terri the Yoopermom

 

[Dee & Greg]

please take my advice and return the dog. Since you labelled your topic "Ugh... this dog!" then you really don't care for the animal enough to make this work. It is very stressful on the dog to return it to the shelter, and even more so on the shelter staff who try very hard to make good matches. Animals are a huge responsbility and if you are having second thoughts in so short a time then you don't have the determination to work this out.
In addition, when you return the dog, do yourself, the dog, and the shelter a favor and don't go back in a few months and "try again". I've seen the pattern... folks will adopt; return the animal; and come back again over and over. Sorry to sound so strong, but I've seen the type too many times.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

I think Joanne was feeling overwhelmed. By just coming here she found some help. Sometimes we get into things we are not 100 percent sure about.

Joanne do what you feel is right in your heart. We are here if you need more advice.

More on the crate: If the room can be her own then I would probably just go with that. Again you can't use that room as a punishment.

Shepards and shepard mixes are so smart but also can be awful sensitive. They happen to be my favorite breed of dog. I used to help train search and rescue german shepards. They always amazed me.

I guess some things you need to consider at this time:

Are you willing to commit the time it takes for this dog? Shepards require a lot of exercise in the form of walks, play, etc. This will also help with "boredom" which can lead to chewing problems.

Are you willing to be the sole caretaker (at least at this time)?

Is having the dog going to cause family problems?

 

[poohbear1029]

DH and I have a springer/retriever mix....no one told me that springers are prone to separation anxiety....he was managable until we moved to OH.....then all heck broke loose......

Needless to say, after many tears (ME) and stern words with the dog, we got help from a wonderful vet and if you can believe it an animal behavioralisty (puppy shrink!). There are great training things that you can do to help if your pup has separation anxiety. There are also meds....Clomicalm. Its basically a doggy anti-anxiety med.....Puppy prozac so to speak. Our dog is on it and is wonderful. It helps with the training. We were even able to easily move him back to MA without any major breakdowns(from any of us!! )

Anyway, a good book to read is The Dog Who Loved Too Much by Dr. Doddman....he is a vet at Tufts University Veterinary school...a leader in the field, and he is the separation anxiety guru......

Some basic tips are NOT showering the dog with affection when you come or go (about 20 minutes both times)...this teaches the dog that your departure is not a bad thing and your arrival is not a good thing. Also, we give our dog a KONG (RED Rubber Football) filled with treats when we leave.....carrots, a few little bones. When we first started it was blended bread and chicken....anything tempting that basically will distract them from the stress of your departure...and fill their belly and make them tired so they sleep while you are out.

Also, our dog is an indoor/outdoor dog...stays out during day in fenced in yard and a doggy door access to the garage for shelter...when we are at home or at night he is in the house. Being outside he can watch the neighborhood kids, etc and it entertains him while we are gone.

I think I can received PM's....PM me if you want additional info. I am not a professional, but have had to educate myself inorder to train our dog to overcome his seperation anxiety.

 

[Jomrog]

Great advice everyone!

We went to eat pizza with some neighbors last night and while we were out, the dog chewed the old couch up even more. She didn't chew where I sprayed, she managed to get the cushion off and chew underneath.

I have come to the conclusion that this dog needs a lot more attention than I can give her by myself.

She gets jealous when I play w/my children and like I said before, the rest of the family just isn't interested in helping out.

My DH told me last night that he thinks the dog has to go and that this is not the right time to have one. That being established, I can't believe that we will ever had a dog again.

I honestly can't do it all by myself. This dog follows me everywhere and does everything she can to get my attention (chewing the kids toys, whining, chasing the baby, etc.)

My DH doesn't want me to spend the $$ on a crate and such.

Again, thanks to everyone and no I am not one of "those" people who establish patterns of adopting & returning animals. I visited this dog for 3 weeks in a row & thought long & hard before bringing her home. The problem is that her true colors didn't show until she was comfortable. I have had her for 3 weeks and she is just getting worse. I give her chews & she hides them. I give her toys & she gets tired of them....

I will stick w/my sweet cat of 14yrs. She is wonderful!

Joanne

 

[Serena]

Joanne, you do what you think is best. I think you are being very smart in returning her. Doing it now will enhance her chances on being adopted into another home. Someone with more time.

It is hard to know what to do. And heartbreaking sometimes. It'll be okay. But I wouldn't rule out dogs forever, just right now. In the future you may change your mind. You might try an older, more relaxed dog next time though.

I would do all kinds of research before you get another pet, and you may decide you don't want any. It's okay. We go to the pet store and humane society just to take out the dogs and cats and play with them. We don't go to buy them right now, just help socialize them.

{{{hugs}}}

 

[Jomrog]

Yes, it just boils down to needing the family support. My DH won't even pet the dog. My DD would rather watch TV.

She is very affectionate, rolls right over for belly rubs. I hope & pray that she gets adopted by a great family.

I just can't do it ALL myself. There are times when I need to do things w/my children and do housework & such.

Thanks for all the support!

Joanne

 

[Kallison]

We got our lab at the shelter at 11 mos. -- he drove me crazy!!! I spent many hours sitting in the van in our driveway (crying). Many times I wanted to return him that first year, but my best friend convinced me not too. She said the kids would never forgive me and she was probably right. He even flunked out of obedience school! He chewed everything that wasn't nailed down, but not furniture or anything imoveable. We kept him contained in the basement and I SWORE his hairy butt would never go past the kitchen. I used the bitter apple spray, I actually spray it directly on his lip line when he is bad. The bottle has been empty for about 2 years, all I have to do is show it to him and he takes off and puts himself in time out (the basement). After about a year things got better including putting in an invisible fence. It's wonderful I don't HAVE to walk him, although most days I do. He runs in and out with the kids. He stopped chewing so much (but I did find my favorite slippers with a hole in them yesterday!). I actually say that he trained us -- not to leave our valuables lying around or our food. Just yesterday he went into a grocery bag and ate TWELVE KRISPY CREME doughnuts. I laugh at him now, the crying is all over. And as for not going past the kitchen, he now sleeps on our bed. We love him, he is part of our family, bad traits and all.

Also want to mention that my youngest was in kindergarten when we got him. My rule was no pets until they all could tie their own shoes, cut their own meat, buckle their own seatbelts and wipe their own butts! Seeing that you have a toddler I remember those days of absolutely not a minute to yourself and don't blame you if this is not the time for a pet. I guess what my whole long story is saying is if you hang in there it may get better. Good luck with your decision. I don't think I could return any animal to a shelter that kills though, if that is the case I would keep tabs on him that he gets adopted. My son goes on petfinders all the time and it breaks my heart to see all the homeless pets out there.

 

[pajamommy]

Joanne, I just sent you a PM.