Ugh, I need some Disney Magic...

[FayeW]

Do you work outside the home? Is there a possibility of picking up some extra hours or a part time job? Sounds like you will be back by the end of Nov so you might be able to pick up some work in retail during the holiday shopping season. If he sees you have a plan for helping to replace his lost income he might be more agreeable.

 

[Twoboysnmygirl]

Faye, I homeschool my children but I do have an income, I have my own petsitting business. It's one of the reasons I cannot reschedule easily. I gave my clients almost a year advance notice for this trip!

It's not full time, but I do bring in some money...in fact, you gave me an idea! My busiest time is the holiday season, I make a lot of money over Thanksgiving and Christmas. I wonder if he will let me pay part of the debt to his dad with that money.

I'm unsure, one of his biggest issues is that HE wants to provide for us and feels like a failure, so me contributing money doesn't usually help the situation, but makes it worse b/c he feels like I shouldn't have to. I know, I know, this is silly in this day-in-age, but it's how he feels.

 

[FayeW]

Faye, I homeschool my children but I do have an income, I have my own petsitting business. It's one of the reasons I cannot reschedule easily. I gave my clients almost a year advance notice for this trip!

It's not full time, but I do bring in some money...in fact, you gave me an idea! My busiest time is the holiday season, I make a lot of money over Thanksgiving and Christmas. I wonder if he will let me pay part of the debt to his dad with that money.

I'm unsure, one of his biggest issues is that HE wants to provide for us and feels like a failure, so me contributing money doesn't usually help the situation, but makes it worse b/c he feels like I shouldn't have to. I know, I know, this is silly in this day-in-age, but it's how he feels.

Sounds to me like you need to have a real heart to heart with him. If you only see him a few days a month, he needs to understand how important it is that he spend some quality time with the family removed from the pressures of everyday life. He cannot put his pride in being the only provider for your family ahead of the family itself!

In reference to your homeschooling activities...surely you are not "in school" 24 hours a day! Your boys are teenagers, can't they watch their sister if you needed to pick up some part time work temporarily? Perhaps you could present it to your husband as "you work really hard to provide the necessities...let me help provide some luxuries that we can all enjoy".

Of course another way to present it would be "We have been planning and looking forward to this trip for over a year. I am getting a part time job to pay for it so we can all enjoy it. It's my gift to the family. Merry Christmas, Dear!"

 

[Twoboysnmygirl]

UPDATE!

I think he will be going!

He had been talking about when I go to WDW and after talking to his mom and contemplating for a few days, I caught him saying that HIS feet/legs would be sore from all the walking on the trip! I know this doesn't seem that big, but it is, he didn't slip, he purposefully included himself in trip talk.

We are able to send a big chunk (1/3) of the money we owe his dad and I think he is ok with paying him 2 more payments in the next couple months to get him paid off. We won't have ANY money to spend on the trip, but who needs souvenirs when we have each other?!!

As for a PT job, I don't think I would be able to do it just b/c of my business's schedule, I need to be available for clients all the time (that is why I have to schedule trips a year in advance!) but I do bring in at least as much as a PT job would and hopefully my holiday business will help finish up paying his dad. We are pinching every penny, I sat down and talked to the kids about how we need to make sure we save everything right now and they are on board as well (by not asking for stuff all the time. LOL) so I'm hopeful that everything will turn out as planned!

The major things are paid for and like I said, I don't need any of the extra stuff if I have my whole family with me, that's priceless!

 

[mickimousemama]

Doing a happy dance for you and your family!! Enjoy your trip!!

 

[Eeyore's Wife]

I am thankful your husband has found a way to balance his very real financial obligations with family time. It is so important to show our kids a good work ethic, but it is just as important to take time for the relationships at the center of our lives.

 

[LauraAnn630]

If I planned and paid for a trip for my family and my adult son decided he wasnt going to go over money he dosent have to pay back right away I would be upset.

What about all the money that has been spent on the trip already?

What about the excitement of everyone going on this trip as a family?

People do not live forever. I never thought my mother would die at 59 yrs old. Kids grow up real fast. Bills will always be there and something is alway coming up!

I hope your DH will change his mind.

 

[Twoboysnmygirl]

If I planned and paid for a trip for my family and my adult son decided he wasnt going to go over money he dosent have to pay back right away I would be upset.

What about all the money that has been spent on the trip already?

What about the excitement of everyone going on this trip as a family?

People do not live forever. I never thought my mother would die at 59 yrs old. Kids grow up real fast. Bills will always be there and something is alway coming up!

I hope your DH will change his mind.

LauraAnn, part of the problem with this is that my FIL did NOT save up the money for and pay for this trip, my MIL did!! Yes, they are married, but for some reason they keep separate money (always have???)

In any case, I believe my husband got some of his thinking FROM his father and that is why his father didn't say "you can pay me a little less, I just want you to go on the trip". It aggravates me, but my MIL told my husband that if he didn't want his kids to see him how HE sees his father, maybe this was the time to start putting OTHER things other than just financial support as a priority. This is exactly how FIL was when DH was growing up...and he HATED IT. I think that talk with his mom is what really made the difference.

I'm just overjoyed that he will most likely come, it wouldn't have been the same without him.

 

[a1tinkfans]

I am thankful your husband has found a way to balance his very real financial obligations with family time. It is so important to show our kids a good work ethic, but it is just as important to take time for the relationships at the center of our lives.

 

[bankgirl05]

LauraAnn, part of the problem with this is that my FIL did NOT save up the money for and pay for this trip, my MIL did!! Yes, they are married, but for some reason they keep separate money (always have???)

In any case, I believe my husband got some of his thinking FROM his father and that is why his father didn't say "you can pay me a little less, I just want you to go on the trip". It aggravates me, but my MIL told my husband that if he didn't want his kids to see him how HE sees his father, maybe this was the time to start putting OTHER things other than just financial support as a priority. This is exactly how FIL was when DH was growing up...and he HATED IT. I think that talk with his mom is what really made the difference.

I'm just overjoyed that he will most likely come, it wouldn't have been the same without him.

You are just sooo right, as is your MIL, it is wonderful that your DH is a provider like his Dad was, it IS wonderful that that was a lesson he learned early on, but he also learned how it felt to not have his father there emotionally, and how it affected him. That is a very important lesson too. I also read recently about the early mortality ages for people in your husband's line of work, I certainly hope he takes that into consideration going forward, not just for this trip. Kids need thier Dad, you need your DH, nobody every says from thier deathbed "I wish I had spent less time with my family and more time working"

my heartfelt Hooray that things are turning around for you...

 

[dfchelbay]

LauraAnn, part of the problem with this is that my FIL did NOT save up the money for and pay for this trip, my MIL did!! Yes, they are married, but for some reason they keep separate money (always have???)

In any case, I believe my husband got some of his thinking FROM his father and that is why his father didn't say "you can pay me a little less, I just want you to go on the trip". It aggravates me, but my MIL told my husband that if he didn't want his kids to see him how HE sees his father, maybe this was the time to start putting OTHER things other than just financial support as a priority. This is exactly how FIL was when DH was growing up...and he HATED IT. I think that talk with his mom is what really made the difference.

I'm just overjoyed that he will most likely come, it wouldn't have been the same without him.

Yeah for MIL....Happy dance for her wise ways...

 

[bumbershoot]

I'm really glad it seems he's going!!!!! It's really the only logical thing, unless his father refuses to let him go until you guys have paid him back.

It's not full time, but I do bring in some money...in fact, you gave me an idea! .... I wonder if he will let me pay part of the debt to his dad with that money.

I'm unsure, one of his biggest issues is that HE wants to provide for us and feels like a failure, so me contributing money doesn't usually help the situation, but makes it worse b/c he feels like I shouldn't have to. I know, I know, this is silly in this day-in-age, but it's how he feels.

LauraAnn, part of the problem with this is that my FIL did NOT save up the money for and pay for this trip, my MIL did!! Yes, they are married, but for some reason they keep separate money (always have???)

You guys are keeping money separate too, if it might be an issue for you to contribute to paying FIL back...

Since it's obviously been a conversation between him and his mom, and probably you and hubby...it's worth a nudge that household money is household money...at least in times where there's a chunk of debt. I mean, when hubby and I got serious, he said "what's mine is ours and what's yours is...yours"...but if I had some money I made he wouldn't prevent me from using it towards a shared thing.


Have fun!

 

[luvsJack]

From a fellow truckers wife, here's hoping he will go.

Dh spends so much time on the road and misses so much of dd's life that family vacations are very important. In fact on our last visit to disney, about half way through the week we asked her what her favorite part of the trip was and she said "being with my daddy all week." (brought some big tears to his eyes!) So, I understand just how important this is to you and that it is important that he be there the whole time.

Maybe he needs to understand that, too; just as a gentle push to get him to go!

 

[bankgirl05]

I thought about you today and wondered how you were making out???** Still sending lot's of PIXIE DUST your way

 

[Twoboysnmygirl]

Thank you so much for thinking of me and sending pixie dust! It's working!!!

I think he will come unless anything else financially disastrous happens!

He is talking about the trip now and even had me order a custom cake for dd for her bday dinner at Chef Mickey! I said I was concerned about money and affording it (since it's really an extra and not necessary) and he said "This is once in a lifetime, how many times will she be turning 9 in her favorite place to be in the world?!!!"

Keep sending pixie dust, we still have to get through the next 27 days without the truck breaking again or anything else for that matter. I've been worried with all the bad luck we have had, but maybe now it will be smooth sailing. I'm SO EXCITED I can barely contain it!

 

[MousekaMaddi]

Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
so glad 2 hear it....we will be there too!!

 

[kellyg403]

Thank you so much for thinking of me and sending pixie dust! It's working!!!

I think he will come unless anything else financially disastrous happens!

He is talking about the trip now and even had me order a custom cake for dd for her bday dinner at Chef Mickey! I said I was concerned about money and affording it (since it's really an extra and not necessary) and he said "This is once in a lifetime, how many times will she be turning 9 in her favorite place to be in the world?!!!"

Keep sending pixie dust, we still have to get through the next 27 days without the truck breaking again or anything else for that matter. I've been worried with all the bad luck we have had, but maybe now it will be smooth sailing. I'm SO EXCITED I can barely contain it!

OP I just wanted to say I hope your family has the best time in WDW and many memories.

I always say to myself right before a family vacation..with all the drama that goes on, stuff breaking..car repairs (truck in your case), someone getting sick etc..means all the bad stuff is out of the way so I can begin my vacation on a positive note. Meaning, there is nothing bad left to happen so my vacation will be wonderful!

Kelly

 

[Twoboysnmygirl]

Just wanted to update this post and let everyone know we did go and had a magical trip! I have a trip report all written up about it if you are interested!

*~*~OFFFFFFFFFFF with their heads!!!!!! Oct. 19-27th 2009 TR~*~*

Thank you so much for all your well wishes!

 

[VirataMama4]

So Glad you had a Magical trip!