UGH, here now DH says he'd rather be at work

[4littleones]

Been here for 2.5 days and my Dh said this is too hard and he can't wait to go back to work .

I am trying not to be comando mom but i'm thinking our 1st two days just should have been slower. We went to MK just for the fireworks & did a 9:30 ressie at CRT the 1st night. Then we did an 11:40am Chef Mickey the 2nd day & swimming in the pool followed by fireworks from the beach - no parks. Yesterday we did an 8 am EMH at AK and stayed until about 2:30. Then we napped and did a 6:40 BBB at DTD followed by dinner at T-REX for 8:30.

Am I totally ruining this by being comando or is this normal?

Today we are going to the MK for an 8:05 breakfast then back for naps by 1pm, pool & resort activities for the evening.

Our 1st trip, I really wanted it to be amazing!

 

[JoShan1719]

Honestly your schedule seems fine to me, pretty far from what I'd call "Commando" touring. I feel like commando touring is running around with the idea that you must do every single thing in every single park. I don't really know how you could possibly make it any more relaxing without shipping him to the Spa for the day.

It's possible that he just doesn't dig the Disney-thing scared1. I don't have any advice for you except to maybe talk to him and find out what exactly he's finding so tiring. Are the crowds too much? I was there last week and they were ridiculous. Is he not liking all the TS dining? Is he annoyed with the traveling back and forth? Good luck, try and keep positive

 

[ancestry]

Sorry you are feeling like this!

You are not being commando at all! I don't think your first few days could have been any slower.

As hard as it is to believe not everybody loves Disney. It is not a relaxing vacation. It can be very strenuous and can be physically demanding. If you husband prefers a relaxing vacation ala the beach then Disney is probably not the vacation destination for him. Same thing with crowds. Some people prefer a vacation where they don't have to deal with crowds or other people. Again if this is what your husband would prefer then Disney is not the best vacation destination for him.

I also think you are very brave for doing a Disney vacation with four very young children. That can't possibly be easy either. I have four kids as well but they aren't close in age. None of them went until they were at least 5.

 

[NYEmomma]

Honestly, it doesn't sound like a commando schedule AT ALL & your DH is just a big whiny butt.

 

[brymolmom]

Sounds good to me. However I will tell you that with so many small children, there is no way I'd do a 9:30 CRT reservation. Were they all happy and enjoying it? Or (similar to my kids would have been at that age) were they very tired and whiney during it?

Maybe for your kids and your dh if you kept closer to your usual schedule at home it might work out better?

Unless, of course, like others have said it really HAS been going well and your dh is just a sourpuss.

How have you thought it has been? A lot of work? Or a lot of fun?

It IS a lot of work with young kids - but usually a bunch of fun too.

I had to have my kids back to room and in bed by 8 or 9 when they were young like that or we were all miserable and it wasn't enough fun to outweigh it.

 

[DISNEYFOS]

He does sound a bit like a sour puss...but are you doing things that he wants to do as well? Its hard with all those kids to do more than what will keep them entertained..but ESPN zone in the Boardwalk area... there is a brewpub... Boardwalk games..

Maybe he's got an attitude because he's feeling a little "mickey'd out".

Germany Biergarten, England and the Brewer's collection (during food and wine) are a must for our family because my DH loves them. We all make sure we do our "favorites".

Not sure what your husband likes to do (besides work) but those are just some thoughts.

 

[RMulieri]

Sorry you are feeling like this!

You are not being commando at all! I don't think your first few days could have been any slower.

As hard as it is to believe not everybody loves Disney. It is not a relaxing vacation. It can be very strenuous and can be physically demanding. If you husband prefers a relaxing vacation ala the beach then Disney is probably not the vacation destination for him. Same thing with crowds. Some people prefer a vacation where they don't have to deal with crowds or other people. Again if this is what your husband would prefer then Disney is not the best vacation destination for him.

I also think you are very brave for doing a Disney vacation with four very young children. That can't possibly be easy either. I have four kids as well but they aren't close in age. None of them went until they were at least 5.

Agree with this..My DH is like the op's husband.He does not consider Disney a vacation and getting him to go is like pulling teeth.

 

[sk!mom]

Doesn't sound commando at all, to me. I notice that you have several small children, though. Vacation with small children is often not relaxing as you're trying to keep them entertained without their normal toys and routines. Pool time can actually be stressful with a lot of little ones. Does your DH spend a lot of time having to wrangle all the kids at home or is that mostly up to you while he works?

Your schedule does seem to have some pretty late dinners for such young kids.

It's possible that your DH just isn't a Disney person.

 

[jewels4488]

I feel you are doing great. You know your kids better than anyone.
My kids could not handle the late nights (at those ages), even with the naps, nor could my husband for that matter. My youngest is 10, and his bedtime is 8:30, school day. I know at Disney we are trying to get it all in. We stay up late and get up early. We are completly knocked out when we get home. But wow, four kids at such young ages...Kudos to you!! I hope the Disney spirit hits him and you have the trip you are hoping for. I'm sure the kids are having a blast. Pixie dust heading your way!

 

[dansamy]

Do your little ones usually stay up so late? A 9:30 CRT and an 8:30 T-rex are very late dinners for children that age. Bedtime should be about 8 for them. Did you change time zone coming to disney? Even a two hour difference is a big deal to toddlers their ages. I don't think your pace is bad, but your scheduling/timing isn't good for babies. Change those after 8 dinners to early dinners or even lunches.

Example: You kept those babies up for an 8:30 dinner. Best case scenario, you were back in the room and in bed at 10:30. Today, you expect them to be up at 6:30/7:00 to make transportation in time for an 8:05 breakfast. It's just not realistic with their ages.

 

[DISNEYFOS]

Do your little ones usually stay up so late? A 9:30 CRT and an 8:30 T-rex are very late dinners for children that age. Bedtime should be about 8 for them. Did you change time zone coming to disney? Even a two hour difference is a big deal to toddlers their ages. I don't think your pace is bad, but your scheduling/timing isn't good for babies. Change those after 8 dinners to early dinners or even lunches.

Example: You kept those babies up for an 8:30 dinner. Best case scenario, you were back in the room and in bed at 10:30. Today, you expect them to be up at 6:30/7:00 to make transportation in time for an 8:05 breakfast. It's just not realistic with their ages.

I do agree the dinners are a little later than what we do. They eat at 5 or so at home so I always tried to keep to the same schedule. We are just now able to go to 6/6:30 dinners and have everyone remain in good spirits.

as for the morning stuff. My kids were always up at 6AM on a good day..so early AM breakfast was a must since they were starving.

I always tell people lower your expectations if you can...some people put so much into their disney vacation they tend to get so disappointed when its not "magical". You are in a very crowded place with the same family you have at home with all their normal quirks...

 

[dansamy]

Oh and you have BOTH your mothers there. Your DH probably feels like he can't do anything right!

I don't think the early breakfast is bad in and of itself. It's just that it's following a pretty late night. I would have had another sleep-in after that late dinner.

 

[duffy]

Reminds me of when we went to a museum a few weekends ago, for our daughter's birthday.

She's an artist, so seeing Monets, Van Goghs, Mondrians, etc. was a big deal for her. Not so for my husband, who viewed each room as a "what's the quickest path out of here?"

I pulled him aside and told him to at least PRETEND he's having fun, for her sake. It's not going to be all that long! Let her enjoy herself, without feeling burdened by your boredom! He realized that, and we had a great rest of the day.

Maybe you need to have a similar talk w/ your husband.

 

[DisneyMomma81]

Well you have several little ones - your mom, his mom - if he's away from home *all of you* 40 + hours a week this all may be a bit much for him I do agree with the late dinners and early breakfasts - bad combo for young kids. Hopefully he cheers up - maybe next time he'll stay home....

My DH has never visited a Disney park, I'm taking him to Disneyland for Thanksgiving - I really hope he has a good time, but if he doesn't that's OK, I can go without him. However - my DH needs to go with a good attitude - not an attitude of "This is lame, awful, boring, miserable." If he goes in with that attitude he'll have a horrible time, anyone would.

 

[Colleen27]

It doesn't matter if it is "normal" by the standards of a Disney fan forum, it isn't working for your DH so you might want to look at why. Talk to him, get his input, and try changing up some of your days to better suit what he wants out of his vacation time rather than following "expert" advice that isn't working for your family.

Midday breaks aren't always restful for us parents - too much bus time, dealing with settling the kids down, and then just when you think you can kick back and relax yourself it is time to get everyone up and going for the evening fun. That's especially true for a parent who works every day and wants a little relaxation out of a vacation. He might prefer balancing early morning/rope drop with some time at the resort to unwind in the evenings, or sleeping in a bit and rolling into the parks around lunchtime to stay through the evening entertainment.

 

[dizneechic]

I agree with a lot of what the pp's have said. I just wanted to add in that we have done Disney "all out" with lots of ADR's, character meals, and things planned at certain times each day, and we have also done Disney "casual" which meant we knew where we were going but had no where to be at a certain time and my dh's preferred vacation is completely unscheduled. He of course didn't know that I had the plan pretty much down to the hour, I kept that to myself and always knew where we were heading, but him hearing about it and trying to stay on task was just overwhelming on top of everything else down there. My dh is scheduled in meetings at work every half hour of the day far beyond the normal workday and when he goes on vacation he just wants to feel like he can relax and do as he pleases. It doesn't necessarily mean we have to sit by a pool, we can relax and do parks too, but its knowing we're flexible and can do things at our own pace on our own time with no where to be and no one waiting for us to be there.

Maybe these next few days cancel the ADR's and just enjoy being at the parks. Hit them early since you seem to be up, stay till after lunch, and then head home before the little ones get tired. Rest back at the resort for a while and then ask, what do you feel like doing for the next few hours? Maybe you want to head back to a park, or maybe it's heading to DTD or enjoying the resorts. After you have dinner head back to the resort and have some downtime before bed. Skip the late nights. The kids are young, while you want vacation to be perfect, exhausting yourselves trying to get it all in wont make it better than relaxing and enjoying the moments you do get to enjoy.

 

[Kae]

My question is how was your DH while you were planning? and if you have 2 grandmas with you, can you have sometime just you & DH?

Kae

 

[4HppyCamprs]

We were had a similar attitude to your DH on our first trip. My mother, husband and I looked at each other on day 3 and said we would never never go to Disney again and we would be on the beach (any beach anywhere) for our next vacation. Once we got home we wondered what exactly was wrong as we had so many things we enjoyed. Well for us it was the wrong hotel choice (we are moderate type people and found the value we chose to be just as hectic as the park so there was no relaxation at all). Then somehow even without park hoppers all our dining reservations were not convenient so we were running (literally at some points!) all over to make the reservation times. So then once we figured out that the combo of the hotel and dining disorder were the cause of the tension (HATE) we booked another trip and went again. Things were BEAUTIFUL on our second trip since we planned much much better and the hotel was a much better fit for us. A place to relax and recoup after the parks. Maybe you just need to change something just a little bit to have a better time.

 

[4littleones]

Agree with this..My DH is like the op's husband.He does not consider Disney a vacation and getting him to go is like pulling teeth.

I think this is my Dh. He just doesn't like it. He is trying to remain positive for the kids.

So to sum it up, I think it is the crazy heat, the amount of walking, getting up early and not being inot Disney.

My Dh said he wishes that we just skipped all the parks and just did the resort pool and character breakfasts for the kids while we were here. Everyone in our party seems to find the character breakfasts very enjoyable. T-Rex was a hit too.

Do your little ones usually stay up so late? A 9:30 CRT and an 8:30 T-rex are very late dinners for children that age. Bedtime should be about 8 for them. Did you change time zone coming to disney? Even a two hour difference is a big deal to toddlers their ages. I don't think your pace is bad, but your scheduling/timing isn't good for babies. Change those after 8 dinners to early dinners or even lunches.

Example: You kept those babies up for an 8:30 dinner. Best case scenario, you were back in the room and in bed at 10:30. Today, you expect them to be up at 6:30/7:00 to make transportation in time for an 8:05 breakfast. It's just not realistic with their ages.

The 9:30 was a bit late since we didn't get seated until maybe 10 or so. I told everyone up front that it was late but it was a last minute CRT for a party of 8 and we would suck it up one night for the little girls. The kids held up really well and loved it!

T-Rex at 8:30 was perfect for the kids & they seated us right away. My kids usually go to bed at 10pm & sometimes fall asleep even later. They nap for at least 3 hours in the afternoon every day. They all wake up around 6 or 6:30am everyday. This may seem like an odd schedule but is actually pretty close to what we do at home.

Oh and you have BOTH your mothers there. Your DH probably feels like he can't do anything right!

I don't think the early breakfast is bad in and of itself. It's just that it's following a pretty late night. I would have had another sleep-in after that late dinner.

My question is how is how was your DH while you were planning? and if you have 2 grandmas with you, can you have sometime just you & DH?

Kae

My Dh really didn't want much to do with the planning. Left it up to me. I tried to clue him in on things but I feel like I am repeating myself all the time because I don't think he was ever really paying attention.

YES! We are doing the SOA tomorrow night while the grandma's watch the kids.

 

[budafam]

I also don't think you're pushing him too much... there's no way he would've survived our first trip! We were at every rope drop (one morning we were there 90 min. EARLY! )... we took mid-day breaks but usually for only 1-2 hours (neither one of us ever took a nap, just the kids) and then we went off to the night shows. Luckily, my husband had an idea of what he was in for... I would just try to ignore his whining and enjoy yourself. Next trip, plan it without him... he's obviously not a fan