UGH! ANOTHER Birthday Party RSVP vent!

[Becky2005]

Schools requiring parents to invite everyone in their kids' class to a birthday party? I have never heard of that before. I guess the times they are a changin', but wow I would not have agreed with that at all when my kids were growing up.

How can schools enforce that? What is the penalty?

I haven't the foggiest idea. I think the rule mostly applies if you are handing the invitations out at school. It used to be it was OK if you did all the girls or all the boys but this year in Kindergarten, we were told it had to be everyone -- so my DS just celebrated his birthday late & waited for the school directory to come out, so we could mail the invites.

I've never invited the entire class -- I really didn't think the boys would want to do a Cinderella themed party my DD did one year, etc... I always just did all girls/all boys & always mailed invites. Luckily, I'm on my last little boy -- my older 2 boys phased out pretty quickly of big birthday parties and pretty much just like to do things with just a couple of friends.

 

[minniebeth]

There is no excuse for not RSVPing. But there is also no excuse for sitting around waiting for people to do the right thing when you already know they won't.

Ok, so I called or emailed three, but not one since I did not have the phone number and I still got no responses. I guess these are the 'no response' parents no matter what you try. I'm ok for the party, I'll order a little extra pizza and have enough of the other stuff to cover them either way. However, one child is gluten free and if she does show up, THAT will be oh well, out of luck. I always accomodate the child with a separate snack for Girl Scouts as the leader at meetings, but if you are not going to rsvp, I can't know to accomodate her.

I get what you're saying but I'm not going to track down these people to beg them to tell me if their kids are coming to my DD's party.

 

[angelmav]

We have dealt with military schools overseas and schools in 3 different states and in each of them if you handed out invitations on school grounds the rule was you had to invite the entire class.

I think there is a combination of children not informing their parents of an invite and of parents who hedge against committing and maybe cant or are unsure they can afford the gift.


I dont really have a solution unless you have phone/email numbers and your inviting the children through the parents.

 

[Becky2005]

Ok, so I called or emailed three, but not one since I did not have the phone number and I still got no responses.

At that point, there isn't anything else you can do. I don't chase people down. I call them once/maybe twice depending and that's it. If I don't hear after that, I assume you are a no.

 

[laurie31]

I guess I'm too old to appreciate how kids' birthday parties have evolved over the years. Whatever happened to throwing a party for your kid, inviting who the kid wanted, not putting RSVP on the invite, and just serving cake, ice cream and punch, play a few games like pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey, and musical chairs and have prizes for the winners and let the birthday child open their gifts and then let the kids just...play? Low cost, low stress and no RSVP's to worry about.

It just amazes me that some parents feel the need to "go all out" for a birthday party, having it at a venue (bowling alley, restaurant, etc.) and having treat bags, etc. I guess I just don't get it.

The goody bag thing is really expected around here. Neither of my girls has ever been to a party where there wasn't a goody bag, and I would never dare to give a party and not have them. My name would be mud! LOL!

However, I do tend to do either smaller bags or more useful stuff than a lot of people. I hate when they come home with a bag full of $10 worth of dollar store junk, that I'm going to have to toss when no one's looking. I think what a waste for the party mom (how much did she spend on all that junk!) and the last thing I need is all that clutter. I like to give t-shirts, picture frames, pillow cases, etc. something that can actually be useful plus be a fun memory of the party.

I like home parties, but they are SO much work. You have to clean up before the party, decorate, then deal with the noise and entertainment all on your own, (plus the stressed pets angle - the cats make themselves scarce, but you always have one kid that's scared of dogs and another kid who loves them and wants to hold our poodle for the whole party, and it can be overwhelming). Also, DD13 has a friend who's allergic to cats, so I have to have the carpet professionally cleaned before she comes over. That can really rack up the cost of the party! Then you have to clean up again afterwards, and it always looks like a tornado came through. It takes me over a week to get things back in order. Sometimes longer.


I usually end up spending about the same whether I have the party at home or out (even without the carpet cleaning). For home parties, I end up at Party City for plates, cups, napkins, tablecloths, balloons, crepe paper, invitations, thank you cards (yes, I do make my kids write them!), and the dreaded goody bags. Plus the stuff to fill them with. Plus a pinata, because my girls think they HAVE to have one - lol. Mine are also bad to go on sites like "Birthday in a Box" to pick out the plates and stuff they want, but I can usually find something similar at Party City or Oriental Trading for less.

 

[EMom]

A home birthday party? No way, no how. Cleaning up ahead of time would not be a ton of fun, but it's the clean up after the party (aka "the storm") that I'd fear most. We have an 18 y.o. cat, so any kid with cat allergies would be in trouble, and it seems there are always one or two. Even if that's not the case, she's a gorgeous Maine Coon and they ALWAYS want to see and pet her. She is not so enthusiastic about them. It stresses her out. And between the food, cake, games, goody bags, decorations, etc., it isn't cheap anyway. Let me say, I'd fork over a pretty penny to pay for a venue and avoid the mess that would await me after a home party.

As far as inviting the entire class, the rule here is, if you send the invitations via the school (home in a backpack) you must invite either the whole class or all the boys or all the girls. And since only a precious few families put their phone number and address in the school directory and local phone book, you can't mail the invitation or call them, so the backpack it is. When DD was younger, we invited the entire class, but later she chose to invite only the girls.

 

[hedgehog2owl]

Schools requiring parents to invite everyone in their kids' class to a birthday party? I have never heard of that before. I guess the times they are a changin', but wow I would not have agreed with that at all when my kids were growing up.

How can schools enforce that? What is the penalty?

that's IF you bring the invites to school. you can invite whom you want if you mail them or hand them outside of school.

However the way some schools are (not all schools are neighborhood schools anymore) you don't know the parents. you don't see the kids outside of school. The student directory has many people listing their number or address as 'private'. there isn't many other options than to send them to school.

(we are lucky! There is only 12 in dd's class )

 

[amberg@eastlink.ca]

we had the same issue as well and it was only for a four year olds bday party!!! dd's in preschool, and altho all the rents are on friendly basis, i dont think any of us hang out nor have each others number. so for us calling wasnt an option. dd was also transitioning from one class to the next class and all of her friends were divied up. so i sent home to former classmates who moved already, plus the current class. i heard from maybe 8.

i figured i had no choice and sucked it up and planned for all i invited. i made treat bags for all and planned food for all. we had 7 pizzas left- sent 4 home with moms and i still have junk from the treat bags here! i actually had one mom rsvp the morning of. the way i see it is this- i'd rather be prepared(yep girl guide mom here!) and have the kids get the treats than not. it's not their fault their parents are morons and can't respond in either a timely manner nor at all.

plus if these are moms you will deal with in regards to scouting in any way, id suck it up and prepare. the last thing you want is getting grief from those moms over a small minute thing like this. and if the parents you have are anything like the complainer parents ive dealth with, its better to be nice than offend them by excluding their kid in anyway. even if it was the parents fault. hmmmm, maybe i should give up guiding before dd starts big school! lol

 

[minniebeth]

Today's the day! Thanks for the well wishes everyone, DD is so excited!
It makes all the hassle worth it (Not necessarily repeatable, but worth it today!)

 

[minniebeth]

Just a quick update, my DD's party was great, a lot of fun and she absolutely loved it! It ended up being out of 23 invited, 15 showed up, 2 cancelled at the last minute, and 3 did rsvp that they couldn't come. The remaining 4 never RSVPd and never showed up either. That was ok at that point. We had enough either way, and 15 was a great number that they could have a lot of fun together without there being too many, too crazy.

Phew! I'm done, until next year when DD's celebration will be small and managable, I promised myself!

 

[aprilgail2]

Schools requiring parents to invite everyone in their kids' class to a birthday party? I have never heard of that before. I guess the times they are a changin', but wow I would not have agreed with that at all when my kids were growing up.

How can schools enforce that? What is the penalty?

There is no "penalty"- you just can not hand them out in class unless there is an invitation for each child. You could invite just the girls or just the boys but not pick and choose which girls or boys to invite- if you want to hand them out on school property you play by the schools rules. Otherwise you can mail them to the kids homes and just invite who you want that way.