Tweens and bathing suits

[elizke]

So glad to see these Justice suits! DD is 12 and fairly small, but far too "mature" of course for all the kiddie suits I can find in her size. I do like Land's end but their choices are either too young looking for her this year or just boring!

We'll be going to Justice for sure.

As for short shorts, I don't get it either. I do see every single teen around here wearing them. I've let her buy one pair but I won't let her wear them without leggings under so now that it's hot they stay in the drawer.

I remember when my stepkids (now in their early 30's) were teens, how ugly I thought the grunge look was with all it's big t-shirts and flannel and messiness. How I long for those days now that my daughter is getting older!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[goofy!]

I also think that the bikini is something that very young girls shouldn't have-at least the new padded-cup ones!

I was 5 going on 6 before I even owned a bathing suit top and my parents succumbed to American modesty (although they called it prudish). Little blue and white polka dotted ruffled bikini bottom for me. Only.

So, for my "experience" with myself and all my cousins, the bikinis with actual tops cover way more than we were covered as kids. I think bikinis on kids are fine, although, I do agree that the padded ones are ridiculous. Those are blatantly sexualizing little kids. Skin is skin - not a big deal, but when you are purposely trying to make a little girls breasts appear larger - that is just crazy.

Funny story though: I work in a kindergarten. One day a child showed up in a loose t-shirt and we kept looking at her and looking at her. Something just wasn't right. Come to find out, she had snuck into her 18 year old sister's room and taken a padded bra. She snuck out of the house with the bra on under her loose t-shirt. I don't think she was wearing a padded bra for the padding, she just wanted to be a 'big girl" like her sister and wear a bra, so she took the first one she found. Her mom was not a happy camper when she found out

 

[princesshannahsmom]

I guess my DD is a terrible thing according to what some say on here. Shorts, you can't find decent ones, so yep she wears the short ones. They cover her butt and she looks terrible in long shorts and she hates them.

As far as the bathing suits listed, my DD wouldn't wear them and I wouldn't either at her age, but if you have a daughter and she will wear them, more power to you. My DD would be laughed at, all her friends, with very conservative parents, wear this type of thing. They wear these shorts with flats, not hooker heels and they wear shirts that cover. AS far as I am concerned, it body parts are covered then they are find. To each his own, but I never liked one pieces as a child and I don't like them now. DD has a crop top cheer uniform and I don't want her tummy white while the rest of her is tan adn this is what would happen with a tankini, I personally don't get the whole covering up the stomach thing, I mean really the stomach is sexual. I never understood that about churches and requiring them to wear a one piece. I don't care what others wear, but I won't force mine to wear something that she doesn't like either.

I agree wholeheartedly. I don't let DD wear anything that shows something that should not be shown, but for goodness sake, not every girl wants to be like the Duggar girls, nor should they be. She doesn't look like a hooker when she goes out, her butt cheeks aren't hanging out and her upper and lower lady parts aren't showing, so I don't have a problem with it.

We live in Florida and although I have found some bermuda type shorts for myself (I don't care much for shorts to begin with (for myself)), in between shorts are hard to come by. I don't wear juniors clothes and I wouldn't expect DD to wear misses clothes.

My DD is 11 and she has the body of a 16 year old. She can't help it she is built the way she is built and she can't help it that she can't wear little girls' clothes. She doesn't want to look frumpy and like a grandma and I don't expect her to.

DH is pretty strict (he is the dad of a little girl) and he agrees with everything we have bought DD. He is almost always with us when we go shopping and gives either a thumbs up or a thumbs down when she steps out of the dressing room. The thumbs down is mostly because the outfit isn't flattering or the color or pattern is wrong though, not because of how much is showing.

My grandparents are VERY modest folks and DD goes camping with them every summer and they have never commented on her clothes (and trust me, if grandma has something to say, she will say it whether you like it or not).

Back on topic, you were probably witnessing a typical teenage angst situation and someone probably made a comment about her upper body and it pi**ed her off, hence the arms crossed in front of her chest. No biggie, the suit may have been fine when she left the house and all of a sudden she hated it. You just can't tell with teenage girls.

Sorry so long, but this is a pretty sore subject for me.

 

[golfgal]

I remember making halter tops out of bandanas. Folded the bandanas in half to make a triangle. Then we used those Home Ec classes to sew one corner down and put a leather string through it for the neck. Then we tied two corners around our back. Pair it with the hip huggers that were in style and we were good to go.

This was in NJ in case anyone wants to know geographic cultural location.

Oh, the days.....

(Oh, and for the record, my daughter does not wear anything showing her belly. Although I am ok with short shorts, as long as the butt cheeks aren't hanging out. And it has nothing to do with reliving my own youth, that is a ridiculous assumption )

Now back to a more modest time......

For a fun place to get funky, fun and modest one piece and two piece swimsuits, try www.splish.com.

You can even design your own suit.

The one pieces are technically racing suits, but not as aerodynamic as the skin tight speedos and tyr suits. Many of them are double lined, which is good for a regular suit, just not for racing.

However, the patterns are so fun that many kids on our team use them as regular suits or drag suits. And if you design one, it is unique to you.

That is exactly the halter tops we had!!! I remember my cousin and her friends (they were in high school) making them and I wanted one SO badly so my cousin made me one. I was 8 or so at the time.

 

[princessmom29]

I agree wholeheartedly. I don't let DD wear anything that shows something that should not be shown, but for goodness sake, not every girl wants to be like the Duggar girls, nor should they be. She doesn't look like a hooker when she goes out, her butt cheeks aren't hanging out and her upper and lower lady parts aren't showing, so I don't have a problem with it.

We live in Florida and although I have found some bermuda type shorts for myself (I don't care much for shorts to begin with (for myself)), in between shorts are hard to come by. I don't wear juniors clothes and I wouldn't expect DD to wear misses clothes.

My DD is 11 and she has the body of a 16 year old. She can't help it she is built the way she is built and she can't help it that she can't wear little girls' clothes. She doesn't want to look frumpy and like a grandma and I don't expect her to.

DH is pretty strict (he is the dad of a little girl) and he agrees with everything we have bought DD. He is almost always with us when we go shopping and gives either a thumbs up or a thumbs down when she steps out of the dressing room. The thumbs down is mostly because the outfit isn't flattering or the color or pattern is wrong though, not because of how much is showing.

My grandparents are VERY modest folks and DD goes camping with them every summer and they have never commented on her clothes (and trust me, if grandma has something to say, she will say it whether you like it or not).

Back on topic, you were probably witnessing a typical teenage angst situation and someone probably made a comment about her upper body and it pi**ed her off, hence the arms crossed in front of her chest. No biggie, the suit may have been fine when she left the house and all of a sudden she hated it. You just can't tell with teenage girls.

Sorry so long, but this is a pretty sore subject for me.

ITA. DD7 has hips and developed legs from dance, but a pretty thin uper body. She wears "Short shorts" mostly because the bermudas are cut so straight that they won't go over her upper legs comfortably. If I buy them so they are not supe tight on her thighs, they are huge in the waist and falling off. Shorts for out of uniform days at school are really hard to find. She also wears a lot of soffe shorts and tank tops because she can also wear those to dance during the summer. He swimsuits are always 2 piece because she needs a size larger bottom than top. We like Lands End swim seperates because they stay in place. She doesn't end up pulling on them. DD likes the skirted bottoms with a shorter(not tankini) top.

 

[goofy!]

I guess my DD is a terrible thing according to what some say on here. Shorts, you can't find decent ones, so yep she wears the short ones. They cover her butt and she looks terrible in long shorts and she hates them.

As far as the bathing suits listed, my DD wouldn't wear them and I wouldn't either at her age, but if you have a daughter and she will wear them, more power to you. My DD would be laughed at, all her friends, with very conservative parents, wear this type of thing. They wear these shorts with flats, not hooker heels and they wear shirts that cover. AS far as I am concerned, it body parts are covered then they are find. To each his own, but I never liked one pieces as a child and I don't like them now. DD has a crop top cheer uniform and I don't want her tummy white while the rest of her is tan adn this is what would happen with a tankini, I personally don't get the whole covering up the stomach thing, I mean really the stomach is sexual. I never understood that about churches and requiring them to wear a one piece. I don't care what others wear, but I won't force mine to wear something that she doesn't like either.

Our gym competes in crop top uniforms too. Although they are technically the half inch longer midriff tops. But by the time you are done competing, they are definitely crop tops

DD's uniform is exactly the same, although has a full top as you do NOT want to see the special needs team in crop tops!! Way too much low tone in those abs.

I agree. We have some very conservative parents here and even their daughters wear bikinis.

 

[herdtoDisney]

In our family, us ladies (me and my dd's) cover our stomachs. I love the Lands Ends tankinis suits for the girls!!! This year, I ordered them online, since they had a MUCH better selection than at the local Sears. My tween got a nice lined one that is a more 'mature' look than the little girl ones (the top is a v-cut, but not an overly revealing one. little girl ones are a scoop neck). The bottoms are a skirted bikini, just long enough to cover but not long enough to be frumpy. They're great-I also was able to get a plus size for my younger sweetie, so her suit fits great with no tugging.

I had started looking for suits all over before our Disney trip in Feb, and just found nothing acceptle for us. Thank goodness for Lands End.

 

[Pigeon]

My dd is 13. She's slender, leggy and gorgeous, if I say so myself. Fortunately for her, she doesn't share my genes.

She, like the vast majority of women, tugs on her swimsuit. She'd be doing that no matter what she wears. I do, and I wear old lady suits.

I normally make her dress a bit more conservatively than her peers. I actually make her buy school clothes that conform to the dress code, though I'm the only mother in the universe to do that, at least according to her.

But for a bathing suit, I let her pick out what she wants. They are bathing suits, and if she wants a bikini, she's welcome to it. It's situationally appropriate. I try to steer her to the non-microscopic ones, but 95% of the junior bathing suits are bikinis, and I'm not forcing my kid into a racing suit or a tankini if she doesn't want one.

She would no more wear board shorts or those rash guard shirts than she would wear a burlap feed sack or a burqa. None of her friends wear shorts to swim. I never see any teen at the pool wearing them. If she wanted them, I'd buy them, but it's her choice.

The OP sounds like she's projecting her own issues. Some girls are self-conscious in swim suits, but that does not mean their parents are making them wear certain suits. Teens are self conscious no matter what they are wearing. It's part of the territory.

 

[mjkacmom]

ITA. DD7 has hips and developed legs from dance, but a pretty thin uper body. She wears "Short shorts" mostly because the bermudas are cut so straight that they won't go over her upper legs comfortably. If I buy them so they are not supe tight on her thighs, they are huge in the waist and falling off. Shorts for out of uniform days at school are really hard to find. She also wears a lot of soffe shorts and tank tops because she can also wear those to dance during the summer. He swimsuits are always 2 piece because she needs a size larger bottom than top. We like Lands End swim seperates because they stay in place. She doesn't end up pulling on them. DD likes the skirted bottoms with a shorter(not tankini) top.

My girls live in the soffe shorts and tanks because they go to dance everyday. Although their thighs have doubled in size due to dance (irish step), they started out with very skinny legs, so they're just solid muscle, but not oversized.

 

[ccgirl]

I'm the last person to give fashion advice, but I have to say this based on what I saw today at the water park at Six Flags: Mothers, teach your tween daughters that not all swimsuits are flattering for all body types, Help her find a suit that looks good on her and fits properly. All those girls I saw walking around tugging at their rear ends, folding their arms over their chests or hiking up the top to cover their ****s obviously needed a different size or style suit for comfort and coverage. Why let her wear a suit that makes her feel uncomfortable or look ridiculous when there's a better choice somewhere else in the store??

End of public service announcement. Thank you, carry on.

I totally agree with you. And, it's not just bathing suits. My DD is 8. Wanted to go out to buy a bikini to wear to a wave pool. I told her I didn't think it was appropriate. I realize others may not agree but as I said to her, I am the mom and it's my rules she has to follow. She wears 1 piece bathing suits, period. I don't care what everyone else is doing or what the latest fashion is. Some of the girls walking to the bus stop just appaul me. One girl, 13, has so much make up on she must have had to use a paint brush. She is accomanying that with her daisy dukes. Gee, I wonder what kind of attention she is going to get.

 

[mdsoccermom]

DD started wearing a bikini this year. She wears running shorts with it when she is at a water park or running around outside the pool, because she doesn't like to have to tug at the bottoms. She is 11 (12 next month). She is too long waisted for one peice suits and couldn't find a tankini she liked so we found a cute bilkini at Justice. Normally she won't shop there, but their bathing suits are great. Not too skimpy, but not too babyish either. Very age appropriate.

I'm wondering if some of the girls covering their chest were doing it because things were showing through if you know what I mean. Not all suits come with the cup liner.

Love the Justice bikinis! DD is 12, but very thin and has to wear a size 10 in the suits or else the bottoms will fall right off. She really wanted a bikini this year because all her friends have them.

As far as shorts go, she has legs up to her armpits, so most of her shorts are short. As long as nothing is hanging out, I'm good with that.

 

[tiff211]

My DD is only 7 years old and wears either a 6x or a 7 in shorts and I can't find her any regular length shorts this summer.....it's driving me crazy. I can find bermuda length or what they call shorty-shorts. And I refuse to have her behind hanging out.

I did find a couple of pair of regular shorts (just a bit longer) at Kohls way back the end of March when shopping for a spring break vacation. Had I known what the issue would be, I would have purchased more!

I plan to hit the resale shops in the next couple of days, hoping to find some from previous, saner, years.

I have the same problem, they are all SUPERSHORT. Target and JCP have bermuda denim shorts. What I do is buy jeans on clearance and cut them to a decent length.

 

[NotUrsula]

The thing about teen girls is that most of them are very hung up on fashion, even if what is in fashion doesn't flatter their own bodies in the least. Heck, I know some grown women who still don't get that when what is fashionable makes you look like crap, then it isn't a good look for you personally. Perspective will tell you that you can stick to fashion in part of your look and ignore it elsewhere; for example, wearing plain tailored shorts with a top that is right out of Elle, or vice-versa.

I suspect that what the OP saw were mostly cases of "it looks different wet." That's a really common issue with swimsuits, especially if you are self-conscious about certain anatomy becoming conspicuous through clothing when you are wet or cold.

FWIW, stores and catalogs that cater to outdoor types will usually describe their shorts by the inseam length. I personally wear 7" even though I'm plus-sized, because I have short legs and REALLY short thighs. Short-shorts normally have a 1" inseam length; just enough to hold a hem. For most girls, 3-5" will work and be modest. (Adult-sized bermudas normally are hemmed to 10", btw -- on me that is the bottom of my kneecaps.) FTR, Land's End Canvas sells several colors of tailored twill 3" inseam shorts with a dropped waist, and they are on sale right now. (Canvas is LE's new younger-cut line.)

I was an early-70's girl, too, and I wore lots of scarf tops. No one ever thought anything of halters when I was that age, and I still don't -- kids in halters are just compensating for hot weather. Back then we all knew how to sew, and adjusted everything we wore to fit the way we wanted it to; which was normally a bit shorter and tighter than the way that it came out of the store -- IF it came out of a store. Half the time it came out of a trunk in the attic and got cut down. (I remember that one summer almost every top I wore was really an old piece of lingerie -- an elderly relative had died and I found tons of 1890's white cotton chemises in her attic. I hemmed them up to shirt length and dyed them lots of interesting colors.)

 

[princessmom29]

My girls live in the soffe shorts and tanks because they go to dance everyday. Although their thighs have doubled in size due to dance (irish step), they started out with very skinny legs, so they're just solid muscle, but not oversized.

Solid muscule would describle DD's legs as well. She has been dancing since she was 3 and dances 3 days a week during the school year. She does one day all day 9-4 during the summer. We may go to 4 days a week this year because we are adding classes. I have seen an increase in muscle in her legs over the last year becuase they have started doing real bar work in ballet and it is quite the workout for them.

 

[FredinFL]

well that wasn't very nice was it?

I have a tween and kids grow really fast in all different spots, even in bursts sometimes and if I didn't have the free time to bring her to the store and told her to re-use last years suit instead my kid could be one of those kids. Easy does it on the parents & the kids ok

PS, my DD has one of those girl board shorts suits from PAC SUN, modesty is harder to find than you might realize.

It's not very nice to let your daughter go out in an ill fitting suit either. We have suits for pools and then there are suits for going to a water park. Once pieces are a must for water parks.

I agree with the OP, there are lots of girls over exposing parts and wearing inappropriate bathing suits. If you want to let them wear something ill fitting in their own pool, fine. But why would you want your daughter risking possible overexposure while out and about?

By "your" I mean in general, not particuarly your child.

 

[scrapquitler]

The thing about teen girls is that most of them are very hung up on fashion, even if what is in fashion doesn't flatter their own bodies in the least. Heck, I know some grown women who still don't get that when what is fashionable makes you look like crap, then it isn't a good look for you personally. Perspective will tell you that you can stick to fashion in part of your look and ignore it elsewhere; for example, wearing plain tailored shorts with a top that is right out of Elle, or vice-versa.

Honestly THIS was more the point of my original post than 'they look like hoochie mamas', which I NEVER said. My point was that some suits are not suited to some body types, and there seemed to be a lot of children who were wearing suits that did NOT fit. That was the point.

And in spite of tweens wanting to wear what they want to wear, I do think it is the parents job to teach them that not everything looks right on your or fits you the way you think it does, and that you should consider that when making your clothing choices. I remember my Mom teaching me " Vertical strips will make you look taller. horizontal stripes will make you look wider" Unfortunately, a lot of designers even don't realize this (thus the overabundance of plus size clothes with horizontal stripes...why??)

 

[FredinFL]

Honestly THIS was more the point of my original post than 'they look like hoochie mamas', which I NEVER said. My point was that some suits are not suited to some body types, and there seemed to be a lot of children who were wearing suits that did NOT fit. That was the point.

And in spite of tweens wanting to wear what they want to wear, I do think it is the parents job to teach them that not everything looks right on your or fits you the way you think it does, and that you should consider that when making your clothing choices. I remember my Mom teaching me " Vertical strips will make you look taller. horizontal stripes will make you look wider" Unfortunately, a lot of designers even don't realize this (thus the overabundance of plus size clothes with horizontal stripes...why??)

LMBO...oh honey do NOT call them hoochie mammas! I'm not discussing hoochie looks either, just basically ill fitting or ill suited suits. It really doesn't help that the people making bathing suits have for the last several years decided that my girls need a low cut bathing suit. Um, no thankyou. They are under teens and really have nothing to show, nor do I WANT them to show that they don't have it, kwim?

I've spent time stitching up the fronts of suits for the last 4 years. WTH?

 

[MattsPrincess]

FWIW, I walk around with my arms crossed a lot...has nothing to do with my chest, or being uncomfortable/self concious about myself, and I do it no matter what i'm wearing. Could be a teeny bikini, could be a turtleneck sweater. It's just a comfortable way to walk for me. Maybe the girl you saw also walks like that a lot.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I get what the OP was saying. I do think that kids want to be stylish and they should be able to. I just think that as a parent you have to at the very least buy the right size for your kid. Nothing worse than 10lbs of flour in a 5lb sack. It is the same for adults. I know sometimes clothing costs more money because it is the only brand etc. that fits but that is the cost of being a parent. It stinks sometimes but what can you do? I wouldn't want my child to look ridiculous in ill fitting clothing just to save a buck. I will do without instead.
Of course tween/teen girls can be very self conscious etc. but I have seen what the OP is talking about. It is not just basic bathing suit tugging. It is the whole body language.

 

[NewCrew42]

FYI - In case this helps anyone -

DD13 needed a one piece suit for summer camp. We found this suit in a size 16 at Kohls:

We found it in the store. I do not believe they showed a size 16 on-line.