Tweens and bathing suits

[NotUrsula]

Yes, exactly...
Grandma and Auntie (or anyone else) would not be welcome to take my child aside and impose their personal feelings. Not okay.. at all.

In my post on shopping with another adult, I originally included a caveat re modesty rules being up to parents, but I decided that went without saying --obviously I was wrong about that part.

However, if DD went shopping with a relative and chose things MORE modestly cut than her previous choices, then I wouldn't complain unless the styles were anachronistic and wildly unflattering. Modest is generally good on most people, though I did go against the tide when I advised DN to chose v-neck tees instead of crews if she preferred them snug. Tight crew tees overemphasize an ample bust in an unflattering way, but a regular vee (not plunging) provides a more vertical line that helps draw the eye upward to one's face instead.

 

[Debbie7452]

In my post on shopping with another adult, I originally included a caveat re modesty rules being up to parents, but I decided that went without saying --obviously I was wrong about that part.

However, if DD went shopping with a relative and chose things MORE modestly cut than her previous choices, then I wouldn't complain unless the styles were anachronistic and wildly unflattering. Modest is generally good on most people, though I did go against the tide when I advised DN to chose v-neck tees instead of crews if she preferred them snug. Tight crew tees overemphasize an ample bust in an unflattering way, but a regular vee (not plunging) provides a more vertical line that helps draw the eye upward to one's face instead.

Sorry if anyone got offended by my DD-19 taking her 12 y.o. cousin to buy a suit. Dd didn't impose her own rules on her cousin, but merely explained why it might be a good idea to cover things up more. She was falling out of her tiny bikini top (new, not because it was outgrown). Her Mom claimed that that was the only style available. DD offered to the Mom to take her to look some more and the Mom agreed. Cousin (my niece) picked out on her own a more modest, but adorable tankini. Grandma paid for it. Cousin was happy with it, but her Mom was not.

Personally, I have not gotten involved in the whole saga. 12 y.o. cousin looks up to DD so we thought this would be a win-win situation, but obviously things didn't go well and we are now staying out of their business.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Sorry if anyone got offended by my DD-19 taking her 12 y.o. cousin to buy a suit.

Personally, I have not gotten involved in the whole saga. 12 y.o. cousin looks up to DD so we thought this would be a win-win situation, but obviously things didn't go well and we are now staying out of their business.

Ohhh, I don't think we meant anything too personal against your DD!!!!

I can see that this was more like two girls/friends/cousins, shopping and hanging together, doing what young ladies do.
I think at first read, it may have come across a bit like you were promoting the involvement of relatives (while perhaps judging, with probably with good reason, the parents).

And, yes the intention was probably very good!!!
But just know that a lot of folks really do have problems with overinvolved grandparents, aunts, etc.. who think that their view is right and should be followed.
And, that it is their god given right and even duty to pass judgement.

But, I think we just wanted to point out an over-all truth and how the mother may have over-reacted and become offended. So, consider this a lesson learned!!!

 

[Wishing on a star]

Well, my DD was trying to smooth over the rift between Grandma and the Mom(her daughter) over the issue

To be honest, this does sound like overinvolvement, and again, I think I can reasonably see how the mother may have over-reacted.

Honestly, this teens choice of swim-wear should not be big matter of family debate, smoothing over, getting involved in any way.

Girls choice of swimwear is up to her and her mom.

Rift between Grandma and Mom is between them.

Again...
I think you need to step back, and take this as a lesson learned about when it is not appropriate to become involved.

When you step into the middle of a battle...
Don't be surprised or angry or offended or blame others, if you take a few hits.

 

[dissybroad]

J Crew now has an awesome selection of fashionable suits for any body style.

Seems they used to cater to 98 pound starvelings, but they're more realistic now.

 

[Poohforyou]

Sorry if anyone got offended by my DD-19 taking her 12 y.o. cousin to buy a suit. Dd didn't impose her own rules on her cousin, but merely explained why it might be a good idea to cover things up more. She was falling out of her tiny bikini top (new, not because it was outgrown). Her Mom claimed that that was the only style available. DD offered to the Mom to take her to look some more and the Mom agreed. Cousin (my niece) picked out on her own a more modest, but adorable tankini. Grandma paid for it. Cousin was happy with it, but her Mom was not.

Personally, I have not gotten involved in the whole saga. 12 y.o. cousin looks up to DD so we thought this would be a win-win situation, but obviously things didn't go well and we are now staying out of their business.

Well, I think what your DD did was great. My DD11 is an only child but we are very close with a family that has 2 teen daughters who look at DD as their little sister. If either ever wanted to take my DD shopping and DD wanted to go I'd welcome it.

 

[luvmy3]

J Crew now has an awesome selection of fashionable suits for any body style.

Seems they used to cater to 98 pound starvelings, but they're more realistic now.

Thats a pretty offensive comment.