Tweens' Allowance question

[momx2]

DD (will be 12 in 2 weeks) has gotten a $5 per week allowance now for several years. I buy everything she needs and most of what she wants, within reason. In the past when we took her and a friend to a movie or out to eat we paid.

For the past couple of months she and her friends now "go" much more than they did. There is always some poor parent willing to take them to the mall (parent stays with them), movie (we will drop them off and pick them up there) or even out to eat in a group (parents stay). With all these new found activities, parents of course aren't paying for everyone. We each pay for our own kids. This is starting to add up money wise. In the past 7 days she has been to the mall twice, out to eat in a group and to a movie. She of course doesn't have the money with only $5 per week to cover it all.

Now on to the question: How much allowance do other parents give their 12 year olds who are getting some new found freedoms? I was thinking $10 per week. That gets her one good activity per week. When soccer starts back up in February, she won't have as much time due to it, but now she is pretty much wide open. I'm also going to get her a $50 movie card for one of her Christmas presents and she has requested money for her birthday. So how much is appropriate for 12 year olds???

 

[golfgal]

We don't do allowance, we gave the kids the choice of getting an allowance or having us pay for things like going to the movies, etc. In return, they have to take on a lot more responsibility around the house, mostly cleaning, etc. The kids are smart enough to figure out that having us pay for things is a way better deal, we are smart enough to figure out that the kids do 90% of the housework and I don't have to

They can earn money by doing some of the non-regular house chores like hand scrubbing our kitchen floor, etc. This is money they use for things we won't buy like video games. Any money they earn outside of this, babysitting, jobs, etc. 1/2 goes into the bank. DS17 being a senior 90% of his goes into the bank right now.

 

[NAB]

All the books say you go by there age. At 12 they should get $12.

This is what we do. When they start any type of job when they are older that will be gone.

We pay for clothes, school stuff. If he wants something he has to save for it. He also has to put $2.00 of that in the bank a week.

It is a learning curve, the first few times the money was gone because he went to the variety store for slurpees a lot with is friends. Now he can go to the store with friends and get nothing. There is also no ties to allowance and chores in our house either.

Believe it or not he has a cell phone he has to pay for half and any overages he puts on it. He is very carefull with his money now.

 

[Acklander]

We've always done the $1.00 per year old as well until DS was about 13 - at that age he started working for $$ (mowing lawns/helping out on weekends at the local ice house lugging bags of ice/babysitting etc...) and once he was able to earn his own money we stopped with the allowance and picking up the tab for his extras like movies, eating out, and arcades. Also around 13, when he became more "clothes aware" we swapped to instead of buying him clothes, would give him a clothes allowance of a certain amount before school started and a certain amount in the spring when he needed summer clothes. At that time he was responsible for purchasing all his clothes with that, and if he wanted more it came out of his own money. By making him responsible for these things it saved a lot of time/energy of "Can I have" and "I want".

 

[golfgal]

We've always done the $1.00 per year old as well until DS was about 13 - at that age he started working for $$ (mowing lawns/helping out on weekends at the local ice house lugging bags of ice/babysitting etc...) and once he was able to earn his own money we stopped with the allowance and picking up the tab for his extras like movies, eating out, and arcades. Also around 13, when he became more "clothes aware" we swapped to instead of buying him clothes, would give him a clothes allowance of a certain amount before school started and a certain amount in the spring when he needed summer clothes. At that time he was responsible for purchasing all his clothes with that, and if he wanted more it came out of his own money. By making him responsible for these things it saved a lot of time/energy of "Can I have" and "I want".

We let the kids go buy their clothing with a budget too and they all have a debit card now so I don't have go shopping with them and blow my ears out in those teen stores with the music WAY too loud (I can't believe OSHA hasn't cracked down on those stores--I told my kids that they would NEVER work in one of those stores for risking their hearing).

 

[momx2]

My DD does have a little job. She has been a mothers helper for about 2 years for our next door neighbors a few days a week. But it is only for about 2 hrs. each week and only makes about $5 per week. She doesn't want to babysit them by herself at night yet because she is scared to be by herself at night still. She is way too busy with soccer to do much working anyway. Maybe I should go the $12 per week route, uggg....that's a lot more money. My younger DD 8 still only gets $5 per week. She doesn't need anymore IMO.

 

[momx2]

We let the kids go buy their clothing with a budget too and they all have a debit card now so I don't have go shopping with them and blow my ears out in those teen stores with the music WAY too loud (I can't believe OSHA hasn't cracked down on those stores--I told my kids that they would NEVER work in one of those stores for risking their hearing).

Interesting...can I ask how much do you give your kids for a clothing allowance?

 

[Acklander]

Interesting...can I ask how much do you give your kids for a clothing allowance?

When we did it with my oldest son (he's 25 now) we would do $300.00 before school, and $200.00 in the spring/summer. At first he made some mistakes (white pants????) but learned to become a pretty good shopper pretty quick. And learned to look for the sales, and clothes that would last. He'd usually spend extra of his own money for things like sneakers, because they were always expensive and he liked good shoes.

$12.00 may seem like a lot at first, but then you're not spending for movies, dinners, extras etc.... so you'd probably come out way ahead.

 

[golfgal]

Interesting...can I ask how much do you give your kids for a clothing allowance?

We don't have a set amount per se, it depends on how much they need. DS14 has grown like a weed this past summer and continues to grow so he was more limited-only let him get 3 pair of jeans for example. Most of DS17's clothes still fit but he needed some pants so we gave him enough to buy what he needed. We don't do huge shopping trips like we used to when the kids were younger. DD likes to shop with friends and they go to the mall every couple weeks or so so we give her a little at a time. She will tell us she needs a couple pair of jeans so we will give her $60 to spend, for example. If she finds some for less than that great, if they are more, she has to make up the difference. DS14 wanted a couple new hoodies so he went shopping last week and got 2 hoodies and a t-shirt for $34-we allowed $40 for the two hoddies.

edit--DD14 learned her less on her first trip out with her debit card-we gave her a budget of $50 to buy some shirts, she bought a shirt and some perfume from Hollister and blew her budget. She then told us a few weeks later that she still needed shirts--too bad honey, you had your money to do that so she ended up having to spend her own money on shirts.

 

[LisaR]

I just finished reading a book that suggested that kids 13 and older become responsible for buying EVERYTHING they need (except food). The book suggested the kids have a bank account with enough money to cover their needs like shampoo, deodorant, clothes, shoes, school supplies,etc. When they need something, take them to the store and let them price shop and get the product they want using their debit card. In addition, they can continue to do chores and add that money to their account for their "fun" money.

We haven't done it yet. I tend to be a bulk shopper so DD doesn't need to buy shampoo or deodorant for the rest of her life. (kidding).

 

[JessicaR]

My kids do many chores and don't get an allowance. We pay for their activities and needs/wants within reason. If they do a big job like fall leaf clean-up or help their Dad with a big project, they get paid. My kids are 12 and 16.

My 16 year old now has odd jobs where he makes his own $, so we are laying out much less for him. They are good kids and get good grades so we reciprocate. All clothing is paid for by us. I never considered having them pay for their own clothes. I guess if I had girls that could be a different story!

 

[Acklander]

My kids do many chores and don't get an allowance. We pay for their activities and needs/wants within reason. If they do a big job like fall leaf clean-up or help their Dad with a big project, they get paid. My kids are 12 and 16.

My 16 year old now has odd jobs where he makes his own $, so we are laying out much less for him. They are good kids and get good grades so we reciprocate. All clothing is paid for by us. I never considered having them pay for their own clothes. I guess if I had girls that could be a different story!

My swapping over to having the kids pay for their own things during their teens has nothing to do with chores, if they're good kids, or grades. It's more for preparing them for adult life when they're going to be responsible for all expenses, including the little things (which do add up!!!), handling money, and budgeting. Sure, it would have been easier to just hand them the money for what they wanted as long as it was within reason, but I felt it was more important for them to make some of the financial mistakes - and they all make them - while still in the nest. It's not like they all the sudden turn 18 and know how to survive. From about 13 on I always add on more responsibility and more freedom with each year. By the time my son was about 16 he was pretty self sufficient - i.e. responsible for his own money, able to cook his own meals, did his own laundry, filled out his own health forms, budget his time for school, homework, work etc..... by the time he was 18 he wasn't one of those kids who went hog wild, or in a panic - he had been taking care of himself for a couple of years by that point and the novelty had worn off.

 

[drag n' fly]

I pay my kids 75c per year. The two older kids have to rotate doing dishes each for a week. They also have to clean their own bathrooms and bedrooms. The younger one is responsible for helping unload the dishwasher, living room tidy and dust. He also needs to tidy his room up.

They also have the opportunity to earn extra money by doing things above and beyond. I pay them 5 bucks an hour to watch their younger brother if I am gone for more than 2 hours. It also works opposite. Dd13 owes me money for going over on her cell bill. She has to clean dog poop up at 5 bucks an hour until it is paid off.

They earn extra money based on report card marks also.

If they want anything expensive like UGGs etc I will pay up to 50 dollars and they have to save and pay for the rest.

Obviously ds15 is now looking for a p/t job since I am such a cheapwad

As soon as dd13 is old enough to get a job she will also.

 

[MiniGirl]

We do the dollar per year thing as well. Now, our girls are still fairly young, so they aren't yet paying for outings with friends yet. Anyway, from their allowance, they give away at least 10% to church and right now they are saving about 40%. I know that will change as they get older but it won't drop below 20%. The rest they can spend. If we go to the movies, I will buy the tickets and maybe sodas. If they want something else, they pay for it. Giving an allowance has really stopped the "Can I gets" and "I wants." Makes shopping with the kids much more pleasant.

We will also give them a clothing budget along with a certain amount of items that need to be bought -- 1 pair jeans, X pairs of shorts, X number of shirts, shoes, etc. Like others have stated, we also do not tie allowance into chores or grades. An allowance is not a reward for doing well. It is a learning tool for the future. One exception is that we will occassionally pay them to do extra chores but that is only if they are keeping up with their current ones.

 

[momx2]

We do the dollar per year thing as well. Now, our girls are still fairly young, so they aren't yet paying for outings with friends yet. Anyway, from their allowance, they give away at least 10% to church and right now they are saving about 40%. I know that will change as they get older but it won't drop below 20%. The rest they can spend. If we go to the movies, I will buy the tickets and maybe sodas. If they want something else, they pay for it. Giving an allowance has really stopped the "Can I gets" and "I wants." Makes shopping with the kids much more pleasant.

We will also give them a clothing budget along with a certain amount of items that need to be bought -- 1 pair jeans, X pairs of shorts, X number of shirts, shoes, etc. Like others have stated, we also do not tie allowance into chores or grades. An allowance is not a reward for doing well. It is a learning tool for the future. One exception is that we will occassionally pay them to do extra chores but that is only if they are keeping up with their current ones.

That kind of the way I look at it. Household chores are just part of being a family group where everyone has to pitch in. I want my girls to learn to budget with the allowance.

Since reading about it, when DD turns 13 I may start a clothes allowance also. I think I would give her so much for school/winter and spring/summer. I would still pay for her winter coats, special events and sporting attire and the rest she would have to budget for. I got another year to think about it.

 

[PatsGirl]

My DS12 also gets $5/week but its not really tied to her chores which she is expected to do as part of the family. I am also finding that this isn't enough to cover her extra cirricular activities much the same as OP ~ movies, pizza, etc., especially during school breaks. Until recently I was paying for all those things and her $5 was more for candy and magazines, things I wouldn't buy.

I was considering upping the ante to $10/week and having her pay for the movies and stuff but have decided to hold off. Why you ask Well, DS was offered a babysitting job on Saturday afternoons from 1-5 for a woman I work with who has an 8 year old. DS doesn't want to babysit at night so I thought this was perfect. Well, she has decided that she only wants to do it every other week because she doesn't want her "job" interfering with her weekends with Dad My friend has decided that she will take her on for e/o for the moment in hopes that she'll change her mind. I decided that if she wasn't willing to babysit (ie, watch movies and play board games) 4 hours each week that I wasn't paying any allowance anymore.

And before I get flamed about wanting her to use her "Dad time" to babysit, she is never home on her weekends with me, I drive her and her friends from place to place and during the week it's all about her too She thinks once she's at his house its a vacation but it's not...she will either work babysitting or he'll be paying her allowance I guess.

Good luck OP, I'm not sure what you should do either. And to the PP about setting up a debit card for kids 13+ and teaching them to budget, what was the name of the book? I'd like to read it. Thanks.

 

[aprilgail2]

All the books say you go by there age. At 12 they should get $12.

There is also no ties to allowance and chores in our house either.

.

That is how we work it- she just turned 10 so she gets 10.00 a week- not tied in to chores etc (those she just does because she lives here too!). She actually banks most of her money- she has kept out the last few weeks worth though because she says she has to do her Christmas shopping!

 

[kydisneyfans]

$1 per year plus report cards, with a blackout period leading up to vacations and Christmas. Behavior must be in line too.

 

[LisaR]

Can I ask what the significance of $1 or less a year means?

The book I read that suggests opening an account for your teen so they can pay for everything is this one:

http://www.amazon.com/Drive-Ways-Mo...=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1259359608&sr=1-1

 

[JessicaR]

My swapping over to having the kids pay for their own things during their teens has nothing to do with chores, if they're good kids, or grades. It's more for preparing them for adult life when they're going to be responsible for all expenses, including the little things (which do add up!!!), handling money, and budgeting. Sure, it would have been easier to just hand them the money for what they wanted as long as it was within reason, but I felt it was more important for them to make some of the financial mistakes - and they all make them - while still in the nest. It's not like they all the sudden turn 18 and know how to survive. From about 13 on I always add on more responsibility and more freedom with each year. By the time my son was about 16 he was pretty self sufficient - i.e. responsible for his own money, able to cook his own meals, did his own laundry, filled out his own health forms, budget his time for school, homework, work etc..... by the time he was 18 he wasn't one of those kids who went hog wild, or in a panic - he had been taking care of himself for a couple of years by that point and the novelty had worn off.

At 13 years old how were your children able to afford paying for their own things?

I agree about raising financially able children. I am in hopes that we are doing the right thing by ours, so far so good.

Raising independent, self sufficient children is a great goal for all parents.