Tweenage drama queens

[jrmasm]

Are 6 year old really consider tweens?

I am with some PP's, there is no way I would have tolerated my 6yo having a meltdown over something 7-8 years in the future.

No, they are not.

And that nonsense would not be been tolerated in my house either.

 

[sunnyday123]

It wouldn't matter if you recorded it, because don't forget, teens never think anything they do is dumb.

And I agree with the others. Don't tolerate tantrums. A cute six year old tantrum turns pretty quickly into ugly 13 year old tantrums.

They do however, think that EVERYTHING we do is dumb. Even if you had recorded it, it would've been your fault for allowing it.

 

[sunnyday123]

OP here, she is generally very compliant, knows what she has to do & the consequences for what happens if she does not do as requested. Indeed the standard comment in her school reports is how she is considerate of others.

We have been doing a large kitchen / living area renovation including space for further study area. DD had just been putting name tags on some basic stationery to set up her "study area" and DH commented about making a spare room into a study for her - yes, I know dumb comment as it was acted on. She so far has a very good memory and so, in the period while she is still learning to read (but is a fan of Linux) I flat out said that she would not be having a computer in her bedroom.

As for the barricading, it lasted about 30 mins and then she moved the toy box somewhere else in her room. I have no problem with her moving items in her room provided it is safe to do so.

She knows that she does not get very far with me, and as I mentioned above, I have used the DIS learnings before, particularly the one that if she has neglected to do her chores then all of her toys go to the garage & can only be earned back toy by toy. That works really well.

It was more that the incidence was amusing of a 6 year old promising not to do dumb things when she is a teenager. I wish I had that one recorded.

My concern ( after my blood stopped boiling!) with the moving of the furniture is what if something happened? What if she's moving the toy box, it hits something, and hurts her? What if her tv falls off the wall and falls on her? That and the general mess moving stuff around in a 6 year olds room would be enough for me. As a rule, 6 year olds don't know whats "safe" and what isn't.

That and if she's allowed to do it now, what are you setting yourself up for at 13? Trust me, those bad habits follow them, and they just get worse.

 

[leagirl12]

Are 6 year old really consider tweens?

I am with some PP's, there is no way I would have tolerated my 6yo having a meltdown over something 7-8 years in the future.

ITA

 

[mickaholic4077]

I can't relate. I don't have kids...and as a child I never ever spoke back, much less raised my voice or screamed. My mother would've murdered me and strung the corpse up in the living room as a warning to others.

At least, I assumed she would.

You mean that adorable little baby in your signature isn't yours?

 

[Magic Mom]

I thought it was only me.

No Door is a wonderul punishment. When they know their door will disappear after it's slammed, magically it stops slamming.

 

[Jennasis]

You mean that adorable little baby in your signature isn't yours?

The "get to the choppa" one? Nooooooooooooo. No.

 

[Magic Mom]

The "get to the choppa" one? Nooooooooooooo. No.

I think she meant the green one.

 

[DebD4T]

No Door is a wonderul punishment. When they know their door will disappear after it's slammed, magically it stops slamming.

Yup!! Been there, done that.

Add me to the group of "nip this behavior in the bud now", or else you are in for a LONG battle as she grows older.

Of course, JMO, YMMV.

 

[sunnyday123]

No Door is a wonderul punishment. When they know their door will disappear after it's slammed, magically it stops slamming.

Although it is a pain in the butt to have a door leaning against the wall in the hallway....

 

[Magic Mom]

Although it is a pain in the butt to have a door leaning against the wall in the hallway....

Maybe we could put it in the garage and make them sand and repaint it?

 

[Iott Family]

Age 6 is considered tween age???

In our house age 6 is a first grader who is throwing a temper tantrum and needs their nose put in the corner for some serious time out!

 

[Disney Doll]

I can't relate. I don't have kids...and as a child I never ever spoke back, much less raised my voice or screamed. My mother would've murdered me and strung the corpse up in the living room as a warning to others.

At least, I assumed she would.

Are we sisters???????
There was no tolerance for that in my house when I was growing up...

 

[Disney Doll]

Honestly, after that, she would've lost computer time all together for the weekend, and if I heard her blocking me out of her room, the door would've come off.

You have to scare 'em when they're young, or they'll walk all over you when they are teens!!

My father would have been the one taking the door off the hinges.

 

[tink20]

Yup!! Been there, done that.

Add me to the group of "nip this behavior in the bud now", or else you are in for a LONG battle as she grows older.

Of course, JMO, YMMV.

Yes, Barney Fife knows best "Nip it in the bud" LOL, just love that episode.

and yes, removing the door, does stop door slamming, did that when DD was about 12 (she just loved her 4 year old brother coming in her room, since the door was gone)

DD was a very strong willed child, she is much better know, yes evey know and then she has an attitude, but nothing I can't handle so far!

 

[Magpie]

OP, just wanted to let you know that I can TOTALLY relate.

I was just saying to my husband, "Gee, this reminds me of our son when he was that age!" In this case his tantrum wouldn't have been so much about not getting what he wanted, it would have been about, "You don't trust me!" and "You don't believe me when I say I won't do..." whatever it was I was worried he would do many years down the road. The idea that we didn't trust him or didn't believe him would drive him crazy when he was a little guy.

Yes, my son had tantrums. Yes, he could be a 6yo drama queen, and yep, sometimes we thought it was hilarious. Heck, he still melts down occasionally - usually over a perceived injustice of some sort. But he's also a great teenager! His teachers have had nothing but good things to say about him, particularly about his "solid good sense" and "leadership skills". He'll go to the bat for the underdog every time, including getting into a fight on the schoolbus because another boy was picking on a disabled girl. "She's delicate, Mom! She can't defend herself!"

And for everyone who is saying, "NEVER be allowed in MY house!" and "Nip it in the bud now, or there'll be trouble down the road!", I've just got to say that everyone's kids are different. Some are more dramatic and intense than others. Just because your kid is more compliant, that doesn't make you a better parent.

Not to mention, hollering, screaming, punishing, however you plan to "nip it in the bud"... a lot of that stuff only feeds into the drama. My approach with my son was to tell him that he was entitled to his feelings, but he couldn't inflict them on all the rest of us. "If you're going to be upset, go be upset in your room. I'll talk to you when you've calmed down." Oh, and sometimes I had to cut off the debate with, "I'm the Mommy, I make the rules. This ain't a democracy, kiddo."

The only thing we never EVER tolerated was any kind of name-calling. We didn't call the kids names and the one single time my daughter ever tried to tell her father he was being "stupid"... Let's just say it wasn't pretty.

Anyway, I thought your story was funny. And brought back memories!

 

[design_mom]

I didn't think the OP's story was funny because I'm living it too. I've got a 10 year old who is incredibly well behaved and a 6 year old who's heck-on-wheels.

For all the perfect parents who are saying "not in my house," I'd love to hear advice on how to handle it. Because it's not as easy as it sounds. (Or, well, it is with some kids. With my DS, a stern "knock it of... now!" was sufficient for pretty much any behavior.)

Magpie's advice is what works best with my daughter (that is, we would not have "discussed it" in the first place.) but sometimes these things sneak up on you. You think you're having a normal conversation, then WHAM! (I am hoping she'll grow out of this stage!) So... I can commiserate, but I don't think it's "funny."

Not to mention, hollering, screaming, punishing, however you plan to "nip it in the bud"... a lot of that stuff only feeds into the drama. My approach with my son was to tell him that he was entitled to his feelings, but he couldn't inflict them on all the rest of us. "If you're going to be upset, go be upset in your room. I'll talk to you when you've calmed down." Oh, and sometimes I had to cut off the debate with, "I'm the Mommy, I make the rules. This ain't a democracy, kiddo."

 

[luvsJack]

I didn't think the OP's story was funny because I'm living it too. I've got a 10 year old who is incredibly well behaved and a 6 year old who's heck-on-wheels.

For all the perfect parents who are saying "not in my house," I'd love to hear advice on how to handle it. Because it's not as easy as it sounds. (Or, well, it is with some kids. With my DS, a stern "knock it of... now!" was sufficient for pretty much any behavior.)

Magpie's advice is what works best with my daughter (that is, we would not have "discussed it" in the first place.) but sometimes these things sneak up on you. You think you're having a normal conversation, then WHAM! (I am hoping she'll grow out of this stage!) So... I can commiserate, but I don't think it's "funny."

Its not always funny when its happening but sometimes it really is when you look back. And, then again, I have been in the moment and find the hysterics VERY funny. Luckily, with dd, my laughing is something that can extinguish the drama pretty quick; I guess she realizes how ridiculous she sounds.

You are so right about these things sneaking up on you. Here you think you are answering an innocent question and suddenly all heck breaks loose! BTDT, many times!!

For all the "not allowing it" and "nipping it in the bud" etc, etc. there are times when it is just the emotions of the child. She is tired, hungry, doesn't feel well, or hormones are starting to cause problems and there go the water works and everything is life and death and so on and so on. It doesn't mean she is going to be a horrible teenager or even a drama queen teen. It doesn't mean she is a bad kid. It means that for one reason or another she got emotional.

DD doesn't raise her voice to me and knows not to be disrepectful but most of it is just ignored (or laughed at if she catches me too off guard). I have said a few times, "please take your drama to your room until its over" and if she barracades the door,so be it. She is going to need to get out a lot sooner than I am going to need to get in.

 

[Magpie]

I didn't think the OP's story was funny because I'm living it too. I've got a 10 year old who is incredibly well behaved and a 6 year old who's heck-on-wheels.

For all the perfect parents who are saying "not in my house," I'd love to hear advice on how to handle it. Because it's not as easy as it sounds. (Or, well, it is with some kids. With my DS, a stern "knock it of... now!" was sufficient for pretty much any behavior.)

Magpie's advice is what works best with my daughter (that is, we would not have "discussed it" in the first place.) but sometimes these things sneak up on you. You think you're having a normal conversation, then WHAM! (I am hoping she'll grow out of this stage!) So... I can commiserate, but I don't think it's "funny."

It's hard when you're in the middle of it.

The thing is, I find most of life very funny, and a lot of what amuses me apparently doesn't amuse other people at all.

FWIW I do discuss things with my kids, but when tempers get heated and voices rise - that's when I cut it off. I like a calm household. Music blasted at volume I can handle, but I don't like yelling.

My kids have learned that if they tick me off they've lost the argument. But if they can give me a logical, calm, reasoned argument for why they're right - well, I might change my mind. It's been known to happen.

 

[Cinderella94]

Age 6 is considered tween age???

No wayyy. "Tween" is 10-12.