Travelling with the in-laws

[Tigger&Belle]

Would you all be able to do your own thing and meet up whenever you all wanted? If so it might be fun. A cruise is the one thing that I want to do with my in-laws. My MIL could read a book, my FIL could gamble (wouldn't be a Disney cruise), my kids could do their own thing, and I think we could all have a lot of fun.

That's really the only kind of vacation I would take with them. One time we went down to NC with them and the deal was, one day at the Battleship, one day at the beach. My kids did a great job touring the battleship for the day, which meant a lot to my FIL since he'd been on the ship in WW2, but when it came time for the beach day my MIL complained the whole day and ruined it. And she complained the 7 hours down and back--she had to sit in the front seat, but wouldn't help navigate. Complained about everything. Never again will even take a short car vacation with them!

 

[inaminute]

there isn't a ship in the world big enough for me to go on a trip with my in-laws!!!

I feel exactly the same way about what's looking to be my future daughter-in-law. What my son sees in her is beyond me. But, if he's happy, then I'm happy for him. I just hope he's not expecting us to vacation with them like we've always done with past girlfriends. It'll never happen.

 

[lulugirl]

I would eat a bowl of spiders before I would travel ANYWHERE w/ MIL.

 

[VSL]

Plus step FIL drinks to excess and I really don't want my kids around that, or myself. He gets mean.

This would worry me.

I've been on holidays with my F-IL's (it was nice, but I felt that we were supposed to do everything together all the time... next time I'll lay some ground rules - if there's a next time!), but I don't see us doing it again in the future. My BF and I went on our first holiday without any parents in Dec 2005 (WDW) and he keeps saying about how great it was to just do what we wanted to do. He's already suggested that we go back next year

I've also said to him that, if he wants, two members of his family can join us when we go back next year (there has been some upset and I thought it would be a nice thing to do and something they would really enjoy). My offer still stands but he doesn't seem fussed (and he hasn't said anything to anyone about it). I think he likes our 'alone on holiday' time too much (I don't think he realised how great the independence would be!).

 

[barkley]

we've done 3 disney cruises and while i (obviously) love them i would'nt travel on one with adults i did'nt want to spend an extensive amount of time with. the cruises do not have a large amount of adult activities (there are scattered wine and cooking seminars, the spa, bingo and a few others)-but unless the "childless" adults were the type that could find their own enjoyment, there is not enough to keep them busy such that i could enjoy private time on my own. but i would say the same about taking an older teen-unless they enjoy the pools and basketball or hanging out in the teen area with others, it's not a cruiseline that offers action/activities such that there is loads to choose from.

i think it's hard/unrealistic to try and set hard and fast rules about the times in port on any cruise-unless you are going off by yourself and "self exploring" there's nothing to prevent the others from wanting to go on the same excursions (and despite my feelings about someone i would find it extreemly rude to insist someone book their excursions that duplicate mine at alternate times-it is their vacation as well).

if i were to be in this situation and cruising was the only choice i would probably opt for a royal carribean cruise-they offer tons of activites geared for every age and their is enough to do on board that it is more likely everyone would want to pursue different activites (had a friend do this with her parents, in-laws, assorted family members ranging from toddlers to folks in their 70's-everyone found something they enjoyed to do, even one who is not an "activity person"-since they were cruising alaska he spent the bulk of the trip sitting on deck and enjoying the scenery).

 

[beckmrk04]

We travel almost every year with my in-laws, and my BIL and his wife- who is also one of my best friends. The six of us have a great time every year. We've done Disney, and Niagara Falls, and are planning a Mall of America trip hopefully this summer (although our Disney trip might kill the funds). We always drive (from IL) and we all get along great!!!

However- if my parents wanted us to go on vacation, I'd rather gouge out my eyes. My in-laws are my better parents!!!

 

[debm]

We have cruised 5 times. The first was a 3 day with my parents. When we wanted to go on a 7 night BOTH sets of grandparents wanted to come. I thought that would be really difficult. We have 4 kids yet I could see everyone fighting over who was doing what with who, etc. But the cruises have been the best family vacation for us! I would not be able to stand much of a vacation with my MIL however I try because of my DH and kids. The nice thing is that there is so much to do on the ship that many times we only saw them at dinner. I think you should eat dinner with them. It is your one time to connect if you really are going to vacation together. Yet, all day you may not even see them! We just ask them what their plans are for the day. Then whatever they say, we might join them or we might have other plans. You'll have lots of fun. I think it would be worth it!

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Plus step FIL drinks to excess and I really don't want my kids around that, or myself. He gets mean.

Here would be the draw for me. I wouldn't want MYSELF to be around that, not just the kids. I would have to say "no way, Jose" to a trip involving that man.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Is FIL supposed to come too???

From your description, doesn't sound like a Disney Cruise would be his thing!

I would NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, travel with my inlaws as long as my FIL would be involved. Now that he has passed away, I MIGHT consider traveling with my MIL. However, I do have to admit that we would not get ONE breath alone as long as she was around. If my DH could not speak with MIL and come to some common ground and expectations about how much time we would actually be together, then I would have to say 'NO thank you'.

How come men seem to lose their most important private parts when dealing with their parents!!!!

 

[Marseeya]

Here would be the draw for me. I wouldn't want MYSELF to be around that, not just the kids. I would have to say "no way, Jose" to a trip involving that man.

UGH, I know! I don't know why DH was even considering it after all the step FIL put him through when he was a teenager. What really did it for me was when DH and I first got married, we let my then 3-year old son stay with them for a few hours (they live 300 miles away from us and we don't see them very often). He spanked my son pretty hard for something -- not sure what, and I don't care what after all this time. Now, #1, I'm not all that keen on spanking. I've done it, but I'm not fond of it. #2, he was brand new in my son's life and if he'd think nothing of spanking him then, imagine how bad he'd be if he got to know him better. No thank you.

 

[Marseeya]

Is FIL supposed to come too???

From your description, doesn't sound like a Disney Cruise would be his thing!

I would NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, travel with my inlaws as long as my FIL would be involved. Now that he has passed away, I MIGHT consider traveling with my MIL. However, I do have to admit that we would not get ONE breath alone as long as she was around. If my DH could not speak with MIL and come to some common ground and expectations about how much time we would actually be together, then I would have to say 'NO thank you'.

How come men seem to lose their most important private parts when dealing with their parents!!!!

You are so right! My husband isn't even the same man when it comes to his mom. He can't assert himself AT. ALL. I don't know if you remember me posting this, but right before Christmas, DH's grandfather died and his mother had never even told him that he was sick. He just lets her walk all over him and goes back for more.

I only have a problem with the MIL and her husband. The FIL is great and we got along really well with his now ex-wife. We'd taken a trip with them and it turned out really well, but they were so flexible and really nice about giving us our space. My MIL will want to be together 24/7 and there's no way I can tolerate that with someone I get along with well, let alone someone I don't.

Oh, and my in-laws are relatively young. The step FIL is in his late 40s and the MIL is in her early 50s. They have a daughter who is my son's age.

 

[Andrea]

sorry hopefully you will have fun!!!

i love traveling with my inlaws (lol they pay for a lot) we have gone many many places before.

this christmas my hubby and i are thinking about paying for plane tickets and hotel rooms for his whole family to go to las vegas for a week. it would be for about 8 including us